A/N: Hi there, so this is the first story I ever posted (not wrote) and people convinced me to put it up here. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

xo

Chasing Cars

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me

And just forget the world?

(Snow Patrol)

He never dreamed of her forgiveness. When Toby first decided to join the A team, he knew that if she ever found out, she would never forgive him. Toby, however, could not bear the thought of the one person he loved, being in danger one horrible day after another. So he joined anyway, knowing that every second he would lie to her would destroy them and every second he would not be with her, would be like the world with no sun in it, no light, no happiness. He knew her heart would get broken when she'd find out, but he always thought, she'd be better off heartbroken, than dead.

That was until Mona had told him about faking his death. After Spencer got admitted to Radley, he knew he could never forgive himself. He broke her. After all this time, after all the torture she's been through, he never thought that he would be the one to do it.

And as she stood there, wearing the same black hoodie she feared for so long, telling him she understood why he made the decision to help Mona, the sadness in her eyes became painfully obvious. Now he could see that her calm face was just a wall she built to protect herself, he could see the dark shadows under her eyes, knowing he was the one who caused it. His head lowered, his eyes filling with tears against his will. He didn't even feel like he deserved her understanding, much less her forgiveness, but he needed it. He needed her grace to remind him, to help him find his own.

He loved her against hope, against reason and against any discouragement there could be. He loved her; although he believed what they had was beyond repair. She was too broken to ever forgive him. And when he wanted to tell her how much he loved her, opened his mouth, only to realize, that he didn't quite know how to say how he felt. Those three words were said too much and they just were simply not enough this time.

"Toby." Her saying his name in such a sweet, soft tone was like a long forgotten song. He lifted his face to meet her gaze, hoping she'd see all of it in his eyes. All of the guilt, the sadness and after all, all of the love he doesn't know how to put into words.

She knelt next to him, cupping his face in her hands, pulling his chin up, smiling as if she finally saw the promised paradise, the tears still there in her eyes. She took time, caressing his cheeks, until he finally pulled her closer, crushing his lips with hers, taking it all in; the realization she still loves him, after everything he put her through was enough and suddenly his world became whole again.

He watched her as she walked towards him and his hands reached for her automatically. Their lips met again and their kiss started off gentle, but it deepened as their lips became more demanding, hungrier. He touched her like her dreamed of doing it all the times they were apart, and if Toby was unsure of how to put his love into words before, now there was no need for it, because their love was present in every kiss, every touch, and every breath. The two became one once again.

And if all they ever did again was just to lie there, together, that was enough for him. They didn't need anything or anyone. The world was forgotten as he held her closer and they fell asleep slowly, and then all at once.