AN: Hi! My name is Dawn and this is my first story ^^ I'm not sure how long the story will be or how it will end just yet but I do have a plan that will get me to write a good amount! Also, I tend to live my life online so if anyone wants to ask questions, nag me, or just talk feel free to message me. I'll try to update often but it depends on my time. I have to little of it -_- Well on with the story!

Special thanks: I want to thank all the people who helped me edit this first chapter. Couldn't have done it without you! Nonumaru, AyanaRin, SporksN'Knives, SharpieAddictions, Black Rose Heart, and Super sayain Goku. All special in the making of this story ^^ Also thanks to my sister for the first thing Itachi did xD

Disclaimer: I can't stick a straw in a caprison, my favorite pass time is watching my dog chase her tail, and my attention span is so short. Why would I own Naruto?!

Warnings: I guess I have none this chapter…some cussing? I don't know…

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Prologue:

Hey dobe, it's me, Sasuke...

I needed to tell you something, but it's really hard to say; so I left this note instead.

First of all, I want to remind you I love you. A lot. I know I acted like a stoic uncaring bastard sometimes…but I thought you would have been able to look past that.

You had told me you cared, but that doesn't matter anymore.

It hurts that you never tried to ask me what was real and what I had to fake. You had told me you cared. Though, that doesn't matter anymore. Well, it does to me but not you…Why didn't you see Naruto? Why didn't you ever see all the pain you caused me? Notice how much I had to hide it inside? I cared so much, but every time you hurt me I would unconsciously hurt you back. Lost the battle inside myself, lost to my hatred, lost who I used to be, lost my ability to love myself and others. Yet you never saw my silent pleas, or how much hatred I seemed to have gathered from when I first met you. You didn't question it and just assumed I hated you; and it hurts so much that I thought I finally had someone who would free me from my pain...yet I cry myself to sleep every night. Every single night before I sleep, I'm desperately trying to get rid of the pain. Praying that things will once again be resolved.

But it brings back memories that hurt me to make me cry, pull on my hair, or scratch at my hands till they numb all my pain.

Every day I feel nothing. I'm empty without you. My fake smiles, kindness, laughter are breaking my soul apart bit by bit. I thought you were different Naru; my assumption was wrong however. You didn't notice. I was wrong. Maybe I forced you into something you didn't really want. It's not your fault in the end. It's mine for placing hope that you could do it. I shouldn't think that someone could help me anymore since I'm too fucked up.

So I wanted to tell you that its ok, but I also wanted to say goodbye.

I'm dying on the inside, and slowly it's gonna kill everything real about me that is left. I don't want anyone to witness my total destruction. So while I still hold some of my sanity I wanted to send this...and end it.

I know it will hurt the people that know me, but it would hurt everybody and me more if I let it drag out and slowly consume me to the point of insanity.

You may not have realized it but this last year of my life you filled some of that emptiness with love. My world revolved around you because you became my precious person. I adored you, treasured you, wanted you, needed you even. And I'm thankful to have known you even if it was a short while. Don't feel guilty it's all on me…Thank you my love… ~Sasuke

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Sasuke stood at his bathroom mirror staring at his reflection. Contrary to what anyone would have thought if they had walked in, he was not checking himself out. He was actually scrutinizing his facial expressions. In his mind, it was important to make sure that when you fake something you do, you should do it correctly. Thus here he was. Making sure that his fake smiles were intact for the coming school year.

The raven didn't like living a lie but ever since sixth grade, he had lost his great outlook on life. It didn't mean he was suicidal or anything; actually far from it. He simply wanted to believe he could still live a normal life. Even if he couldn't feel anything he wanted to be as normal humanly as possible.

He continued staring for another moment, wondering if it was convincing enough or not when he heard his bedroom door creaking open. Walking out of his bathroom he saw his brother Itachi walk in and plop down on his bed lazily. "Hey Sasuke, staring at your face isn't gonna make you any prettier ya know."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and sat down at his desk chair. "Thank you for that info Mr. Perfect. Is there anything I can help you with?"

Itachi smirked at Sasuke's comment. "Well since you ask I do need someone to go wash my clothes and take out the trash." Sasuke slightly glared at him. Seeing this, the older Uchiha quickly continued, "But I believe that's not what you meant," Itachi paused, seeming to look through him at his soul. He shook his head as if shaking away a disturbing thought. "Any who, mom said for you to come down for an early dinner. She made lasagna, your favorite, to celebrate that tomorrow is officially your first day of high school." He waggled his eyebrows, making the younger of the two grimace.

It wasn't that he was nervous; he just didn't want to have to deal with the same people anymore. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, they seemed to follow him as if he was a magnet and it was getting on his already fried nerves. Itachi noticed this and stood, walking over to Sasuke and leaning on his desk.

"Remembering your fan girls little brother?" he drawled teasingly. Earning him a glare that would have had him quivering had he not mastered it as well. With a sigh he patted the younger on the back. "Don't worry. They often change in high school and find another person to creep out." He walked to the door opening it slightly. "Hurry up and get downstairs. You know mom doesn't like waiting much." Without waiting for a response Itachi walked out, closing the door behind him.

'Well,' Sasuke thought, 'time to try out that smile.' With a grunt he got up, put his phone in the back pocket of his black skinny jeans, and walked out.

It had been raining all day. The pounding of the rain could still be heard on the windows of the house. As he walked down the stairs he briefly wondered if rain was really caused by angels crying as some people said. He shook those thoughts out of his head as he reached the first floor and soon after the kitchen. His mom, Mikoto, was taking the lasagna out of the oven while his brother set the table. "Hey Sas- Oh! It's still hot!" his mom jumped, lightly placing the container of food on the stove.

He looked at the oven clock and saw that it was 5:02 pm. He still had fourteen hours of freedom before he was locked in a jungle full of predators, what he liked to think of school as. Mikoto turned around and seeing her younger son she rushed over and gave him a hug. "Oh darling, you're growing up so fast! It feels like just yesterday you were in diapers and all of a sudden tomorrow you are going into high school!"

Sasuke gave a soft (fake) smile and returned his moms hug before pulling away. "So I heard you made lasagna to celebrate. Thanks mom," he said tilting his head to the side, still smiling, then giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Want me to help with anything?"

His mother beamed at him and said, "Just get something to drink from the refrigerator. There's lemonade, coke, or sprite. Anything will do."

"Hn."

Mikoto rolled her eyes at his one syllable answer and moved back to the stove. Sasuke opened the fridge and pulled out the coke along with some glasses from the cabinet. After placing them on the table he sat down opposite from Itachi. "So as an older brother in his junior year want to give me any 'Survival' tips?" Itachi raised an eyebrow at the question. He didn't expect Sasuke of all people to be asking for his help. Then again, his little brother did many unexpected things.

"Don't act weird…" he paused as if contemplating, "and…avoid the Fangirls," he finally responded pointing his index finger up, as if having an 'Ah-ha' moment.

Sasuke smirked. "By weird do you mean like that one time you and Deidara-" Itachi cut him off by magically appearing beside him while wringing Sasuke's neck as he choke-laughed. Mikoto turned looking dangerous with the kitchen knife she was still holding as she yelled, "ITACHI LET GO OF YOUR BROTHER AND SIT DOWN!"

If anything scared Itachi it was his mother. So he sat down glaring at his still laughing brother. Mikoto then turned her icy eyes at Sasuke. "And you young man behave. I don't want to hear you two bickering." Sasuke slowly stopped laughing but opted to keep that fake grin on his face. Seconds later Mikoto was setting their plates down in front of them. The steaming squares of hot lasagna smelled incredibly appetizing to the two boys and they quickly dug in.

"So Sasuke," Mikoto started putting her fork down a few minutes later, "do you have everything you are going to need for this year?" Sasuke pondered for a moment as he continued to chew. He knew he had all the school materials he would need. His mother had made sure of that almost as soon as eighth grade was over since she was so excited about 'the big change'. Seeing as it seemed that everything he needed, he nodded yes and ate another fork full of lasagna. His mom then turned to Itachi, "what about you sweetheart?"

Itachi put down his fork, leaned back, and for good measure placed his hands like a director as if envisioning something. Mikoto raised a wary eyebrow as she waited for him to speak.

The elder of the two boys cleared his throat saying, "I was wondering if I could give away a bunch of tees with my face on them. On the back I will put a list of the services I offer. I will also need pens, a binder, condoms, a notebook, birth control-" Sasuke nearly choke on his food, quickly swallowed, and got his glass to down some soda while Mikoto screeched 'WHAT?!'

Itachi continued, "-white out, a ruler, a dildo, and some handcuffs!" He finished with a smile but otherwise serious face. This was about the moment Sasuke spit took his drink. All over the clean table cloth. This was also about the moment their mom looked straight at Itachi with an evil glint in her eyes. She stood over him giving him the need to lean back slightly in his chair.

"Care to explain why you would need those things, Itachi?" She asked in a sing songish voice. Sasuke watched from the sidelines as Itachi sat in his chair leaning slightly back with a small smile plastered on his thin lips. He opened his mouth to respond, but was quickly interrupted by Mikoto. "Make it a good answer because if it's stupid I won't let you down easily," the venom was seeping off her tone causing the whole room to shiver. Sasuke saw a slight smirk play at the corners of Itachi's lips, however he didn't say anything, letting all signs of it quickly disappear.

"Well what do you use those things for mother?"

At that moment Itachi seriously reconsidered saying that. It had been a long time since he last saw that type of anger on his mom's expression and it was a little worrying, but she was an Uchiha too and was able to hastily compose herself.

"Go to your room, and unless its school related that's where you will be spending your time for the next two weeks. You are for sure grounded this time young man." The troublemaker opened his mouth to retort, but his mom beat him to it. "Now go." The calm tone she used sent Itachi to his room (with his plate of lasagna) at an amazing speed.

Mikoto sat back down in her chair sighing loud and long before finishing her meal eating as if nothing had occurred. Soon Sasuke was the only one left on the table. He stood stopping to put his plate in the sink before continuing upstairs. On his way to his room he passed Itachi's and knocked while glancing at the posters the door had. Ever since his brother had been little go away posters were ever present on the front of his door. Annoying the hell out of their mom too. Fugaku just smiled and replied Itachi was similar to himself at that age. Mikoto would always facepalm saying a quiet "I know" which caused the whole gang to laugh.

When there was no response after a few moments he walked in to find the room was empty, the window was open, and a note was attached to Itachi's desk.

Sasuke walked towards the window closing it before making his way to the large mahogany desk. He pulled the note of and put it closer to his face to read…

Little brother,

Deidara and I had…business, to tend to. Cover for me? Thanks! Text me if there are problems ok Baby Saucekey?

-Itachi

The younger raven rolled his eyes at the nickname and walked out of the room making sure to close his brother's door. He walked to his room sitting on his bed since he had a few hours to relax, before he had to go to sleep.

Grabbing the remote he pressed the red power button and the medium sized flat screen came alive with color. A show called "Paranormal Entities" was on and a short guy was talking about the Jersey Devil. The black haired teen reclined himself hands behind his head on his queen sized bed making himself comfortable with the orange and black pillows propped up behind him. He lounged quietly, still as a statue, simply clearing his mind and listening. It wasn't until forty-five minutes had passed that he snapped out if his trance like state; his phone had begun to vibrate in his pocket.

He pulled it out and checked the caller ID. Seeing as it was one of his 'best friends', Neji, he picked up the call.

"Hey man. What's up?"

Neji cut to the chase. As usual. "Are you still planning to go through with that happy go lucky crap? You already know your 'issue' won't let you get along with anybody." Sasuke partially regretting telling Neji. Partially. But he needed someone to talk to, and the Hyuuga was the most trustworthy in his opinion.

"Hey it's not totally crap. Maybe it will work and I can get my life back. Ever thought of that 'Oh Wise One? " 'Although, it did hurt to smile that much.' He heard a snort on Neji's side of the line.

"SureSasuke, whatever you say. So did they email you your schedule?"The raven put his phone on speaker and went to the email icon on his screen. Sure enough an email had been sent from his high school with the subject as 'High School Schedule'.Could they have been any more obvious?

"Yea I got it. What's yours so I can tell you what classes we have together?" Rustling was heard over the phone before Sasuke could hear Neji's breathing again.

"Hmm… So first I have Orchestra. Following I have Math. Third is Physics. Next it's English. Fifth is geography. Sixth is lunch. Then seventh I have technology and eighth is Spanish."

"Ok then. It seems like we have third and lunch together. That's not too bad I guess." Sasuke closed out of the email and turned the speaker of.

"That's good. I'll see you in third period then. Don't forget we're going to homeroom tomorrow before school starts. You know the deal with the paper work and crap."

"Yeah sure, I'll remember to be there and ill text you once I get to school so maybe we can meet up before classes start."

"Sounds good old friend. Don't forget to text me, I'll be waiting. Oh and by the way, good luck with your plan for tomorrow."

"Mhmm, thanks. Bye." The line clicked and Sasuke ended the call on his side. He put his phone on the bedside table and took a look at the time. The bright blue numbers stated that it was now 8:57. The turned off the TV getting up to go take a quick shower.

Ten minutes later his duck butt hair was stuck to head from the water weighing it down. He had already put a pair of sweat pants when he was in the restroom. The teen took his journal from his desk and opened it. He took the pen which had been right next to it. Making sure to skip past all the things he had previously written Sasuke opened up to the next blank page. He wrote the date on the top left corner and then skipped two lines.

Tomorrow I start school. I don't expect much from the very beginning, but I hope my attitude can improve as time passes. I don't have major news; day was normal...adios...

It might not seem like much to other people but this journal helped him cope with his...'issues'. He closed it and decided to put it under his mattress for safe keeping. After turning the lights off he lay down pulling the blanket to his knees, reclining onto his pillowed making sure he was comfortable. The raven turned off the lamp and just lay in bed for a while, nothing going through his mind. Eventually he started dozing off and he was sucked into his world of haunted sleep.

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So I hope you liked my story! Please review and tell me what you think. Also Itachi will do a lot of weird things so if u want to suggest something please do. Hope to see you next time!

Posted 9-29-12