Summertime Sadness
Based on the recent spoilers
"A Kick Inside" and "Contra Mundum"
Today's the day, the day of my 20 week scan, the day we see our precious baby safely moving around inside my womb, growing into a perfect little human being. To say I was excited to see my baby was an understatement, I was over joyed at the very thought of seeing my child in a matter of hours.
The day started off how it usually did, I woke to the dreadful morning sickness that I had grew used to over the past few months, took a shower, had breakfast and made my way to Holby city general for a fun filled day on Darwin with my baby's father, our bubbly friend and Elliot. As I walked onto the ward I saw Jonny sitting at the nurses station, he must have caught a glimpse of me in the corner of his eyes and looked up towards me and smiled, almost glowing as he knew today was the day we would see our baby, he then stood up an followed me to my office,
"Morning Jac! Are you ready for today?" He said trying to seek eye contact, I looked up, I couldn't show him how excited I was to see our little baby, but something came over me, I couldn't stop smiling, "Morning Jonny, Yes im ready, we need to go up about 12? Now I have to go, some of us have work to do" I replied trying to keep myself busy.
After Jonny left the room, I sat in silence for a while, I had a strange feeling overcome me, a feeling that I couldn't describe, I put it down to being tired and constantly sick and thought nothing else of it, then a weird sensation stretched across my abdomen, as though it was my baby moving around, was this the first of many kicks and little movements that I was going to experience over the next four months. A few moments later it happened again, I had felt my baby move for the first time. I made my way over to the door of my office, hoping that I could see Jonny so he could share this precious moment with me, I then saw him walking towards the ward, "Jonny… come here!" he looked at me, wondering why I was summoning him to the office, "Is everything ok Jac, the baby is ok isn't it?" he fumbled as he entered the office, I then placed his hand on my tiny bump and waited for a moment, hoping that the baby would move again, suddenly it happened again, we both felt our baby kick, Jonny gasped as he looked at me, "Was that … our baby?" he said looking into my eyes for confirmation with tears forming in his eye, I simply replied by nodding.
A few hours later I sat at the nurses station with my hand resting on my bump, the ward was strangely quiet, the time seemed to go by so slowly that I found myself staring at the clock, almost impatient to go and see my baby, the thought of having the wait a whole hour until our appointment seemed a lifetime away. The silence was soon broken by the piercing sound of the phone ringing, "Hello, Darwin, Jac Naylor speaking" I answered wondering who would be calling the ward, "Hello Ms Naylor, it's Jean from maternity, we have an appointment slot free for 10 minutes time if you would like to come early? I know how busy you can be my dear!" said the voice on the other end of the phone, my min went into overdrive, suddenly me and jonny were about the see our baby quicker than we both had thought, "Erm yes, I erm, we will make our way now, thank you" I replied a little tongue tied. I needed to find Jonny, I shuffled around the ward hoping to find his wondering around somewhere, he was no were to be seen, then as I walked past the locker room, I saw his curly brown hair as he sat on the metal bench, I opened the door slowly, spotting that he was looking at a picture he got from our last scan, a picture of our baby. Suddenly the door made a loud creeking sound, he looked up, a little startled, "It's time!" I said, he stood up, now looking confused as he walked towards the door, "It can be, the appointments not for another half hour or so" he said as we walked up the ward towards the lift, "Maternity called saying they had an early appointment so I took it!" I said to him.
As we reached the maternity ward, the waiting room was empty, similar to how Darwin was, there at the desk sat the midwife that had made the call, "Hello my dear, is it Jac Naylor?" the midwife said as she stood up to greet us, "Yes it is, I have my 20 weeks scan today!" I replied. She then quickly looked on the computer and sent us on our way to the waiting area, "Your next my dear, shouldn't be too long" the midwife said as we sat down. The next few moments seemed to drag by, it seemed as though we had sat there for hours, "Jac Naylor!" a voice said echoing across the almost empty NHS waiting area, we both stood up and held each others hand and made our way In to the ultrasound room. As we entered the room, the sonographer shut the door after us and walked over to the machine, I lay down on the bed next to the machine and lifted up my baggy scubs top, Jonny sat down next to me resting his hands next to mine on the bed, the sonographer then shook the bottle of gel and started to squeeze it onto my pale abdomen, "This maybe a bit cold my dear" she said as she squeezed the gel all over, as she did so my body shivered as the cold liquid hit my skin, she then moved the probe over my stomach to find a picture of our little baby that we created, then on the screen came the picture we were waiting to see, our baby, perfect in every way. A few moments later there was an eerie silence in the room as the sonographer looked at the screen, I started to panic, the air turned cold and filled with worry, "Ill be back in a moment I need to get a second opinion, excuse me" the sonographer said as she exited the room, I turned to Jonny for the reassurance that I needed, but as I did so I saw the panic in his eyes, though he wasn't showing it. A few moments later the sonographer returned with another much older male doctor, they both stared at the screen at my baby as it moved around slowly, they then listened to the baby's heartbeat, it sounded strange as though it was beating irregularly, "There's something wrong? Isn't there, what's wrong with my baby tell me!" I demanded, fighting back the tears as I feared for the little life inside of me.
"We've found a complication with your baby's heart, it seems not to be functioning as well as we would expect at this stage in pregnancy…" the doctor said sitting on the edge of the bed, "Of course we would have to do some tests but it's not looking good I'm afraid" he added.
Me and Jonny with stunned as we heard that our baby had a heart complication, we sat there in complete shock, speechless…..
To be continued
Please R and R xx