Raven was in her room, as usual, sitting crossed-legged on her bed. She had been thinking for a while now. She had been thinking about her father and how she could not have his traits, but she knew she couldn't swap them, not for anything in the world, she was stuck with them. She sighed and closed her amathyist eyes and a tear rolled down her cheek. She did not want to be realted to a demon, she always knew that she got her bad side from him, even when he was being "Good" when she was little, and that bad side of her always won most of the time... That was why she could be so mean. Raven didn't want to be mean, she hated it... She couldn't even use all of her emotions proparly. What was the point of living if she couldn't use her emotions, she was just a portal... Nothing more...
"This is hopless... Whats the point of even trying?" she cried to herself, more tears revealing themselfs
She rolled up one of her leotard sleevees and looked at white bandages. About 2 or 3 weeks ago, Raven was thinking of the very same thought and had cut her wrists. The others had caught her and had made her promise not to do somthing like that again, and they were so scared that she would try it again. Since that day, they all treated her differently. Little did they know that she had cut herself again, she didn't tell them because she knew that she would let them down. She sneeked some extra bandages from the medical room while all the Titans were doing their own thing and just barly made it back to her room without Beast Boy noticing her. Since the incident, Beast Boy had never been the same towards Raven. He was always watching her closely. When he found out that she did it, he had the biggest reaction out of all the other Titans. He was more helpfull towards her and tried to make her smile more than he usualy did. He was reaching out to her. He made her personally promise him that she wouldn't cut herself again and seeing as how she did, she felt like such a bad person... She felt like an unworthy friend and a liar.
All the Titans had told her that they believed in her and that she was a strong enough person to not revert back to self harming but Raven did not think of herself as "Strong"... She seen herself as insignificant and worthless just like her father had told her she was... She always had a feeling that he was right about that ever since the day he told her it straight to her face. She knew she was damaged, emotionally... She felt as though she was a broken toy that nobody wanted... She felt like she had nothing left to live for... She hated lying to the rest of the Titans... She told them that she was feeling better, but no, she wan't... She was just saying that to make them get off her back, to make them stop runnig around after her. She felt like a horrible person becasue she felt her silver balde call to her like a siren, and she felt a cruel wanting.
Suddenly a knock at her door brought Raven out of her thoughts and back into the real world.
"Raven? It's me..." Came Beast Boys voice
Raven closed her eyes tight before opening them again. She could tell that he was visiting to see if she wanted anything, he hated seeing him and the others running around for her over somthing so stupid.
"What is it?" She asked in a low voice, having been crying
"Can you let me in? I just want to make sure your alright..."
"I'm fine, you don't need to run after me all the time" she said, feeling guitly that he was
"Can you please let me in Rae?" he asked again
Raven let out a frustrated sigh and stood up before walking towards her door
"Fine..." She said walking over to the door and rolling her sleeves back down
Raven opened the door and let Beast Boy in. She then closed her door and then walked to the center of the room and waited for him to speak.
"Well?..." said Raven
"Me and the the others just wanted to make sure you were okay, you've not come out of your room all day..." he replied, concern in his voice
"Yes... I... I'm fine..." She said
"You don't sound it..." he said, walking closer to her "Tell me whats wrong Rae..."
"It's nothing..." She said
Just then, a book was engulfed in a dark energy, making it explode. The two teens jumped and looked at the small peices of paper floating down to the floor.
"Your lying..." He said, looking back to Raven
"It's nothing that you should be concerned about Beast Boy, its just somthing that I should..." she said
"But I want to help you, I don't like seeing you upset..."
"I'm not upset..."
After Raven saying that, another book exploded from her bookcase.
"Shit..." She muttered to herself
"See? Your lying again... Just tell me whats wrong"
"Its just... I've been thinking about my father... And the whole incident thats happened... I know I've let you all down..."
"Your father can't hurt you anymore Rae, we won, remember? Becasue of you, hes gone, he can't control you anymore... And you haven't let us down, please don't think that..." Beast Boy conforted
"You really think hes gone for good? But... But what about the life hes left behind? I... I feel like I'm bound by that..." She said, looking to Beast Boy
"I know hes gone, don't feel bound by whats not there Rae..."
"Thanks Beast Boy" Raven smiled
"Your welcome Rae" he smiled "Oh and Cyborg was wanting you to come down to the medical base to take off your bandages and to take out the stiches just now, he said that your cuts should be fine now"
"No!" Said Raven, a little too quickly
"Why? It's not lt's not like it would hurt, your cuts have probably healed up mostely by now, it would only hurt if you had fresh cu-" He started, just realising that the last part of what he said could be true
"Rae..." He started slowely
Raven could feel her heart stop, she shut her eyes tight and bowed her head to the ground, feeling ashamed, not wanting to look at the dissapointment that would show in his emerald eyes, she couldn't handle it...
"Again Rae? How could you? You promised me... You promised all of us..."
"I'm so sorry..." She said, begining to cry, still not looking up
"Don't cry, It's okay, you just have to promise me that you will never do that to yourself again... But you have to really promise me this time, you can't break this one..."
"I promise" She said, looking up at him with wattering eyes
"Thats all I wanted to hear, he said, giving her a smile"
"Thank you for being so understanding Beast Boy..." said Raven, walking closer to him before giving him a small hug
Surprised at the sudden affection, Beast Boy quickly reacted and hugged her back
"Your welcome Raven" He smiled
Once the two parted from their hug, Beast Boy had somthing to ask her... He was wanting to ask her this for weeks now.
"Raven?"
"Yeah?"
"Theres somthing I've been wanting to tell you for a few weeks now..." He started
"What is it?"
"I... I love you... And... If you don't love me back, thats okay, I just... I just really needed to tell you..."
"Beast Boy... I love you too" she confessed
"You do?" He said, his head shooting up
Beast Boy was over the moon and shocked at the same time at the fact that Raven has feelings for him. He thought that he was just really annoying in her eyes... But there was more to what Raven thought of him, and the thought of that made Beast Boy smile his ususal trademark fang smile, which in Ravens case, was cute.
"I do" She smiled
"Raven, will you be my girlfriend?"
"I thought you'd never ask" She said, smiling again
"Sweet" Started Beast Boy, happy that Raven was now his girlfriend "Now lets get you to the medical bay so we can get Cyborg to take off those bandages..."
"But... But what will he say about the new cuts?" She asked worringly
"Don't worry about that, I'm sure he'll understand... And if he dosn't, he has me to yell at... Don't worry Rae, it'll be okay"
"Okay..." she said, still feeling worried and unsure
Beast Boy and Raven walked down to the medical base, hand in hand and opened the doors to see Cyborg steralising some scissors and tweezers to cut Ravens bandages and to cut the stiches and take them out.
"Uhh... Why are you guys holding hands?" Asked Cyborg puzzeled
Raven and Beast Boy looked at eachother and smiled
"We're a couple now" Said Beast Boy, still smiling
"A couple as in... A couple who buys eachother gifts on valintines day and who kiss and cuddle and stuff?"
"Yup" He replied simply
"I thought you two didn't like eachother... I mean, you guys fight and argue all the time..."
"Thats what we thought too, but it turns out that there was more to it" Said Raven
"Wow... Big adjustment... Well I'm happy for you two!" He said smiling
"Thanks" Said Raven and BeastBoy
"Raven? Do you want me to take your stiching and bandages off now?" he asked
Raven looked to Beast Boy and he seen fear in her eyes. She held his hand tighter. He thought it would be best if he told Cyborg what happened himself.
"Uh, Cy?..." Started Beast Boy "...Raven may have... Hurt herslef again..."
"What!? But Sh-"
"I know! I know she promised us! But she didn't tell anyone she was having a hard time a few days ago and she did it, she thought that no-one would understand... So please don't hassle her over it? She said she was sorry, please don't make her feel anymore worse about it than she already does... She promised that she wouldn't do it again..."
"Well... Okay, as long as she promised!"
"She did, I swear!"
"Fine, it's okay then..." He said "Raven? Do you want me to take off your stiching and bandages now? And see to your new cuts?"
"Yeah, thanks Cyborg... And I'm sorry..." Said Raven, walking over to her metal friend and rolling up her sleeves
"Its fine Raven, it's not your fault" he said with a small smile
About 30 minutes later, Cyborg was all done with Ravens arms and they all smiled. Raven gave Cyborg one last thank you and smile before heading back to her room with Beast Boy.
"Beast Boy?"
"Yeah Rae?"
"Thank you, for all that you've done for me over the years, I know I came accorss as mean in the past before and I just want to say that I'm sorry..."
"Your welcome" He said smiling "And I forgive you for that, I love you Rae"
Raven smiled.
"I love you too"
The two teens stopped in their tracks and leaned in closer and closer till their lips met. At this point Raven knew that she was loved and that in her friends and Boyfriends eyes, she was more than just a demons escape from hell. Raven and Beast Boys love was somthing that was strong and that could not be damaged or broken... Somthing that her father couldn't ruin and it somthing that he couldn't take away from her. Raven was more than just a portal, she was a Titan, a hero... And a true friend.