Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor do I make any money doing this.
This was just a little idea that I had the other day and I thought someone might enjoy it :)
"Severus, I can't take this anymore… I've had it!" Hermione huffed as she stomped around the potions lab at the Ministry.
Severus sat on a stool behind one of the lab tables, periodically stirring the cauldron in front of him as he watched the frazzled young woman vent her aggravations. They had been working together for three years now, and every so often one of them would snap under the pressure and need some time to decompress.
The Professor smirked, "What exactly has caused this outburst, Miss Granger?"
She glared at him darkly, "Damn it, Severus! How long have I been working here?! My name is Hermione, and you fucking know that!" taking a deep breath, the fiery witch realized he was intentionally riling her up, while effectively stopping her long enough to calm down, at least momentarily. Calmly, she continued, "We have been working for weeks trying to fill all of these orders for the infirmary, St. Mungo's, and all of the other contracts that you have picked up, and all that was fine and we're just about finished with them. That on top of revising for my Mastery exam is also stressful, but nothing I can't handle. What I don't need are boys, who should be men by now, asking me to sort out their lives and help them with PAPERWORK!"
Severus barely concealed his snort, "By boys, I can only assume you mean -"
"Harry fucking Potter and Ronald bloody Weasley!" She finished for him.
Rolling his eyes, he continued on in an almost bored tone, "Well, is this something you can say no to? Can you tell them that you have more important matters to attend to? Or better yet, can you tell them to stop being children and take control of their own lives?"
Hermione deflated and sat down on the stool next to him. "Well of course I could do all of those things, and I should, but… I feel like that's the only reason they still keep in contact with me. I mean, they're both married and have their own families now. Yes I'm aunt Hermione, but what does that matter? I think I'm losing them and that's not something I want, but I can't put up with this bullshit either. I'm sorry Severus, I don't mean to unload on you, especially about stupid things like this."
"It obviously matters to you. How those two idiots have managed to upset you so is still baffling to me, but I can see that you are bothered. You have finished up the orders for St. Mungo's and the infirmary, correct?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well then, I think we can call it a day."
"Oh no, we don't have to stop! I'm calmer now and I can't go home and revise anymore. I think my eyes are going to fall out." She deadpanned.
"Well then join me out for a drink. Merlin knows you could use one."
Hermione bit her lip nervously, "I don't know Severus. I don't know if a drink will help me out. It may just make me sad and I know you don't want to deal with a sloppy, drunk Hermione. Got any other solutions?"
Severus arched an eyebrow at the woman next to him and wondered just how adventurous this witch was, "Well…" he continued slowly, watching her attention sharpen and focus on him, "I may have another idea that could remedy your stresses and anxieties, and I'm almost positive it's something you have never tried before."
"Like what? A potion or something?" Hermione questioned.
"Not exactly. It's more herbal in nature…" He trailed off hoping she would catch on. Hermione's face still looked inquisitive and obviously, the knut never dropped.
Severus huffed, "I'm talking about weed, Hermione. Marijuana. Pot. Grass. Whatever."
The look of dawning realization happened all at once accompanied with a gasp of surprise, "Severus! I can't smoke pot! Are you kidding me? Oh my God! Do you smoke pot?" She was almost shrieking by the end of her tirade.
"If your voice gets any more shrill, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. And yes, you can smoke pot, and yes I do occasionally light up. Usually on a day like today or when I'm particularly bored."
Hermione snorted, "I can't even imagine you being bored, let alone bored enough to smoke pot. I don't know Severus… I mean it's illegal and mind altering! What if I do something weird?"
"Hermione, I'm not going to force you. I'm sure you would be fine and if you are in the privacy of your own home, there's really nothing to worry about except maybe a lingering smell. It was just an idea and I will not hold it against you if you say no."
"Well…" Hermione started after some contemplative lip biting, "I guess I can try it, right? If you think it will calm my anxieties, then I will give it a go. How do you smoke it? I've seen some of those crazy glass things but I don't know if I can do anything like that…"
A satisfied smirk broke out over Severus' face as he stood up from the stool and started to clean up his station and gather his things. He nodded to Hermione to do the same. As she was cleaning up, he answered her inquiries, "I usually do smoke out of one of those "crazy glass things", as you so eloquently put it, but we can use a bowl or a one-hitter since it's your first time. I'll have to pick up, so would you be more comfortable at your house or mine? I prefer not to be out in public; I've had to obliviate a few police officers in my time…" he trailed off.
Hermione had stopped cleaning and was staring wide eyed at the Professor. She couldn't believe everything she was hearing. He stared expectantly back at her before she realized he had asked her question.
Shaking off her daze she answered, "Sorry, er, your place would be preferable. I'll run home to change and then be right over. Did you really obliviate… oh never mind, of course you did." Hermione did a quick adjustment of her work robes and scurried out of the lab. She just missed Severus' chuckle.