You know its bad when you cant sleep at night because you fear what your mind will come up with just to make your heart race, cover your body is sweat, take the breath away from you, make you jolt awake when it's over and you burry your face in your hands letting the tears roll down your cheeks. You hate that you can't pull yourself out of the nightmares, that no one is there to help you out of them. You lay your head back down after a while, tears still slowly falling, closing your eyes you wish someone was there to hold you while you sleep. You hope that the next morning you wouldn't have to deal with the pain you saw etched onto other's faces, that you didn't have to look at the bodies of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, wives, husbands, torn apart, bloody and lifeless. You prayed that the images wouldn't haunt you the next night causing you to pace in the same random pattern around your kitchen and front hall till you were so tired you'd fall asleep on the couch. You would look others in the eye and plead with them without saying a word, hoping they could see the pain you held in your heart. That maybe one day someone would just wrap you in a hug as you screamed and cried, because really that's all you want, to feel loved, be loved, be close to something. You just wanted her light eyes to connect with your dark ones for a split second, to see that you weren't able to hold on anymore. You felt like you were dying, and maybe she could save you… maybe.