Sailor Moon Fan Fic 3
Ragna´s Rambunctious Satchel
INTR: Tsuyoshi´s Bedroom.
Tsuyoshi
So, what the hell were you doing Luna?
Luna
Someone had to go out there and stop her!
Tsuyoshi
You should've called me.-
Luna
To do what? Complain?
Tsuyoshi
Look, I know that there was a lot of bitching on my part, but it looks like we're stuck with each other.
Luna
Until you start complaining and want to quit again.
Tsuyoshi
Yea, that might happen-
Luna
You're hopeless!
Tsuyoshi
Well what do you expect me to do. Act like I just hit the lottery for almost getting killed on a daily basis when I barely get a thank you or good job. I mean the sailor suit is nice and I can kick ass, but that's besides the point.
Luna
I guess you're right.
Tsuyoshi
I´m not asking for a parade I'm just asking for cake (Chuckles).
Luna
Well too much cake will certainly slow you down. (Giggles).
Tsuyoshi
Oooo someone's sassy tonight, but I am glad you're safe. But please call me next time.
Luna
Thank you. Now off to bed you have school in six hours.
Tsuyoshi
You just had to ruin it didn´t you.
SCENE TWO
INTR: Classroom 2-B.
Kyle
Hey are you ok man?
Tsuyoshi
Yea, why wassup?
Kyle
You just came into the classroom to sleep on the desk. And then when Mr. Solis sent you to the hall you fell asleep on the bucket.
Tsuyoshi
He´s lucky I didn't leave and go home; at least I showed up.
Kyle
Well what were you doing to be up so late?-
Tsuyoshi
I wasn't fighting lizards!
Kyle
Ok (Pause) Now let's talk about what you were doing.
Tsuyoshi
OK, ok. I went to a club.
Kyle
You went to a club?!-
Tsuyoshi
Shut up!
Kyle
How did you get in? Were there any cute girls? Did you drink/ Did you buy the girls drinks? Did you see Sailor Moon?
Tsuyoshi
I wish I was helping my cousin DJ and couldn´t move in that sweaty ball-
Sailor Moon?
Kyle
Yea there's been a follow up report on him at the club. Didn't you see him?
Tsuyoshi
No and I certainly would've loved to see the news crew and ask them why the hell they didn't help!
Kyle
It looked empty when I was watching it.
Tsuyoshi
Because we had to get everyone out and stay the hell alive.
Kyle
Good job kid.
Tsuyoshi
Shut up Kyle!
SCENE THREE
INTR: Villain´s Cave.
Naja
Have you come up with a plan yet.
Ragna
No.
Naja
And you were complaining to do what exactly?
Ragna
I just need more time-
Naja
We don't have time if we don´t get energy or the crystal we might as well be at the bottom of the river.
Ragna
Look, we need to think things out carefully so Sailor Moon won´t make a fool of us, well you, again.
Naja
At least I´ve actually made some sort of plan and not sat there digging in my purse all day.-
Ragna
It´s not a purse! It´s a (Pause for thought) great idea.
(Ragna vanishes.)
Naja
Well that was weird.
SCENE FOUR
INTR: Detention Room.
Mr. Solis
Tsuyoshi, how long are you going to sit there and sleep?!
Tsuyoshi
I can´t get the right angle.-
Mr. Solis
You're supposed to be making up the homework you missed turning in.
Tsuyoshi
I already did it.
Mr. Solis
Well why didn't you say anything.
Tsuyoshi
Because I´m tired.-
Mr. Solis
Hand it in!
(Tsuyoshi hands in the homework assignment.)
Mr. Solis
It all appears correct.
Tsuyoshi
Great, can I leave now.
Mr. Solis
Just a minute, you still have about twenty minutes left.
(Screams can be heard from a distance.)
What was that?
Tsuyoshi
Thank you disasters! Let's go look!
(Tsuyoshi runs out to look at the commotion. Mr. Solis soon follows.)
Mr. Solis
Tsuyoshi you need to stop this could be dangerous.
(Tsuyoshi stops.)
Nice to see you're actually listening to me.
Tsuyoshi
Oh no it´s, it´s that over there.
(Tsuyoshi points at the crowd in the midst is a robot with a blowtorch, a swarm of spiders, and a monster each sucking energy out of the people passing by.)
Well, bye!
(Tsuyoshi runs away from the danger.)
Mr. Solis
He didn't take long to run away. He could´ve at least gave me a chance to say go get help or save yourself.
Gorgona
But who's gonna save you!
(Gorgona uses her hypnotize rays to control Mr. Solis. He then joins the other victims in wrecking the city. Ragna can be seen collecting energy from afar.)
Tsuyoshi
Moon Power Morph!
(Tsuyoshi says as he holds the pen up, the transformation music plays, and Tsuyoshi transforms. He strikes a pose.)
Now how the hell am I gonna deal with all this shit!
Gorgona
Now my minions go and collect energy for our great ruler!
Sailor Moon
Or you can all go home and give me one less thing to worry about.
Gorgona
Why don't you go back to the costume shop and return that kinky cosplay.
Sailor Moon
What the hell, at least I don´t need to walk around with a paper bag to keep others from turning to stone.
Gorgona
Just who do you think you are?!
Sailor Moon
(Starts posing as he says his catchphrase.)
I am the awesome guardian who fights for courage and justice! I am Sailor Moon! And in the name of the moon I'm gonna kick your ass!
Gorgona
Oh I actually didn't care, but ok! Can someone handle this pest for me?
Sailor Moon
Or you can take this!
(Sailor Moon jumps in the air and kicks Gorgona in the face.)
Gorgona
What are you waiting for hurry up and kill him!
(The crowd of people, robot, and spiders all change direction to chase after Sailor Moon.)
Sailor Moon
Really? (Sigh).
(Sailor Moon steps on the spiders, but then gets hit with the fire from the blowtorch. He stumbles back and gets clawed by Gorgona.)
Cheap shot!
Gorgona
Had to get you back for that paper bag comment earlier.
Sailor Moon
Oh you're still mad about that?
(Stands back up.)
Now let's see if you can go two for two! I just wish she didn't have spiders with her.
(The robot charges in to use the blowtorch once more, but Sailor Moon grabs it in a struggle, kicks the robot, and uses it on the spiders!)
Die you little bastards!
Gorgona
I´ve had just about enough of you.
(Gorgona tries to use her hypnotize powers on Sailor Moon, but in the slight moment he regains consciousness he smacks her upside the head with the blowtorch and uses the flame to singe her face.)
(Shrieks) Get her you idiots!
Sailor Moon
But before that let me do something smart!
(Sailor Moon touches the crescent moon on his head and gets the mallet of light.)
Moon Mighty Bash!
(Sailor Moon wacks Gorgona with the mallet and she then turns to dust. The citizens return to normal, confused. Clapping is heard in the distance.)
Ragna
Well that was impressive, but this is the last time you'll interfere with our plans.
Sailor Moon
Our? Wait, what´s up with the purse?
Ragna
It´s a satchel! And it´s responsible for the wonderful surprises you had to face today.
Sailor Moon
Oh.
(Sailor Moon fires the blowtorch at Ragna, but he blocks it with a shield he digs out of the satchel.)
Ragna
Did you really think you could use my own collection against me?
Sailor Moon
I kind of did, but it´s doing a good job keeping you at bay.
Ragna
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
(Ragna grabs a fire hose out of the satchel and the water pressure is so immense it destroys the blowtorch.)
Sailor Moon
What the hell is in that purse?
Ragna
You really don't listen do you? It´s not a purse, it´s a satchel of limitless wonder.
Sailor Moon
Does it have cake?
Ragna
Why would it have cake?
Sailor Moon
So? No?
Ragna
I can't believe you've been giving Naja a hard time.
Sailor Moon
Is he who you're working for?
Ragna
Why? You're about to die anyway.
Sailor Moon
That´s what you think, but you're forgetting something.
Ragna
What's that?
(Sailor Moon charges in to punch Ragna, but he blocks it with the shield and bounces him back.)
I´m still waiting to see what I'm forgetting.
(Ragna punches Sailor Moon the face. He grabs him and gives a relentless barrage of attacks with the shield and his fist.)
Still waiting.
(Sailor Moon uses the shield to launch himself away from Ragna, he stumbles slowly regaining focus. Ragna charges in, but as he does Sailor Moon uses the ash from the spiders to blind him momentarily.)
Is that really the best you can do.
(As he clears his eyes Sailor Moon throws the robot at Ragna. Sailor Moon then charges towards Ragna. Ragna pushes the robot back with the shield, Sailor Moon dodges and prepares to bash Ragna with the Moon Mallet. Ragna prepares for impact, but Sailor Moon uses the shield once again to bounce off of into the air.)
Sailor Moon
What you forgot was-
(Ragna reaches into his satchel to get an M16, he fires at Sailor Moon. Sailor disappears into a ball of light and reappears behind Ragna.)
I´m not the person to fuck with!
(Sailor Moon says as he bashes Ragna´s left shoulder with the Mallet. A cracking noise is heard.)
Ragna
Ugh. You'll pay for this!
(Ragna disappears. Everything goes back to normal and vanishes along with him.)
Sailor Moon
(Yawn of relief.) Well, ain't that some shit.
Crowd
Oh my God that was so cool!
Awesome!
Who are you?
That´s Sailor Moon?
Sailor Who?
Is he new?
My leg!
Sailor Moon
Well I'd love to stay and sign autographs, but duty calls. See ya.
(Sailor Moon jumps away and disappears as the flashing lights of the sirens vastly approach.)
SCENE FIVE
INTR: Villain´s Cave.
(Ragna appears, injured.)
Naja
I´m guessing it didn't go well.
Ragna
Really Naja what made you think that?
Naja
Now do you believe me when I say just attacking head on isn't gonna work.
Ragna
We can still attack head on it´ ll just take more strategy that´s all. I mean if you would've seen how happy he looked with that blowtorch. (Clenches himself in pain.)
Naja
We'll cross that road when it comes, but for right now you need to recover.
Ragna
I´ll be back better than ever.
Naja
I know you will brother, now I have to give energy to our ruler, she grows restless.
Ragna
I understand.
(Naja vanishes.)
This is only the beginning, Sailor Moon.
BLACKOUT