A/N: It's 5:30 in the morning, I heard a radio commercial and I couldn't go back to sleep till I took care of this evil plot bunnie. Write a review, receive a reply. I hope you enjoy it. I do not own Kim Possible, OnStar or anything even remotely connected to them.
I'm going to bed now.
Bubba
OnStar the global leader of real time road side assistance handles thousands of calls a day, but nothing could prepare them to face the call they would receive today.
The following call for assistance is real. It was made at 4:45PM on May 12, 2007 to OnStar.
"Hello, hello can you help us?" A slightly annoyed voice asks.
"This is OnStar how may we be of assistance?" The cool, calm and collected call center professional asks.
The voice on the other end of the connection also sounded calm and collected, "Yes, my boyfriend seems to not understand the meaning of the words 'Do Not Touch'. So he touches and now he's locked in the trunk of this vehicle."
"Help KP!"
"In a second Ron."
"Do you require medical assistance?" The call center representative asks.
There is a moment of silence, "Well we did just defeat a plan by our arch enemy Dr. Drakken to incinerate the earth with some death ray doo hickie."
"Was there any injuries?"
Once again there was silence, "Oh I'm sure there were but not to us."
"KIM!"
"RON! Maybe next time I say DNT, you will take me seriously." The voice on vehicle end of the conversation said impatiently.
"Come on, I said I was sorry."
"Well what about the other night when I told you to stop trying to put your hands down the back of my pants to feel my butt."
"But it's so nice and soft…and round…Come on Kim we've been dating a while now let me…"
"Ewwwwwwwwww, You let that loser feel you up?"
"So none of your business Bonnie."
"I said I was sorry." The cry of a boy in desperate need of assistance could clearly be heard in the background.
"Yea but only after I put a hammerlock hold on you." The annoyed voice of a young female replied.
The call center operator was trying to figure out just why this person placed a call for assistance, "Is there anything that I can help you with today?"
There was a loud sigh from the vehicle, "I guess, can you let my boyfriend out of the trunk?"
"Let me look up your vehicle. I see this vehicle as belonging to a Steven Barkin. Are you the owner of the vehicle in question?"
The voice now was becoming more aggravated, "Look do I sound like a Steven Barkin…No, this is his new Cadillac and we were looking it over when…Somehow my boyfriend just pops the trunk and falls in and it closes on top of him."
"I didn't fall! You pushed me in!"
"Quiet Ron"
"Hey Ron, looks like Kim finally found a way to keep your hands off her goodies."
"Monique…Bonnie…How many people are out there?"
"Hi Ronnie, If this puts a dampener on your relationship with Kim. You can always come and touch my bottom."
"TARA?"
"Oh No you didn't…You just didn't go there?"
The OnStar representative was becoming impatient, "This is OnStar…"
"I know who this is. Give me a moment to put an end to this crisis. So what are you saying exactly Tara?" The angry voice of the caller yelled to a companion.
A soft giggle could be heard in the background, "All I'm saying Kim if you truly had a fulfilling wholesome relationship with your boyfriend you wouldn't have had to lock him in the trunk of a car."
"So what are you saying exactly…To me it sounds like Tara saying that she would like to have an angry redhead land on top of her and start slapping the pee out of her."
"This is OnStar…." The representative tried again.
"I KNOW WHO THIS IS I PLACED THE CALL." The angry young woman screamed.
"Stoppable San, Sensei says that a man who remains free in his mind can never be imprisoned."
"Yori?"
"Yori?"
"Yes Possible San, Yamanouchi requires the assistance of Stoppable San for a dangerous mission to an ancient nudist island in order to bring harmony to the planet."
"Uh huh, and let me guess…I can't go, right?"
"It would not be appropriate to impose upon you."
"I volunteer, I volunteer"
"RON"
"Possible, what are you doing to my new car?"
"Uh…Ron accidently locked himself in your trunk…"
"She pushed me in…Let me out I feel a mission coming on."
"You two are on detention from now until you graduate…Got that?"
"Yes sir.."
"Yes sir, awwwwwwww man"
The confused representative tried once again, "This is OnStar do you need assistance."
"No, now get out of trunk Stoppable…Oh no, no, no, no, that pink thing did not just poop in my trunk!" The angry male voice screamed.
"Rufus gets nervous when he's confined."
"Thank you for using OnStar…"
"I'm not going to be charged for this am I?"
The call center representative ended the call and leaned back in his chair, "Now that is one for the books."