A/N: I've seen what's happening to Jin in Tekken 6. Basically our hero is becoming what he promised to never be. Inspired by the Bible and the Evanescence song with the same title. My first rated M fic in along time.
Warning. It will have Bible Scriptures, sex scenes,lewd behavior, ,a tad bit Xiao bashing. But now all these things are incorporated into the story ,if you can handle it then proceed,if you cannot I suggest you press the back button.
Notes- Thoughts are written in italics. The good thoughts italized, the bad thoughts bold italized
Jin's POV- in most chapters.
- Remember this quote,when reading this quote- "We ask God to forgive us for our evil thoughts and evil temper, but rarely, if ever ask Him to forgive us for our sadness".R. W. Dale
Part I
Reunited
I sit in the zaibatsu room,surrounded by my servants-willing to do everything in my beck and call. I never thought I'd be sitting in the same chair my father once sat,even before him my grandfather sat here. The King of Iron Fist Tournament five is over- I won,ha-ha yeah. And now I'm sitting on top of the world. It feels good to be selfish.Yet part of me thinks back to my mother's teaching to be un-selfish, another side tells me live it up,you only live once.
Yeah you only live once, I think about that then think to the thoughts before that they sound nothing like me. Why am I here? This place is not where I belong-I should have this place torn down or atleast changed so that it could make a positive impact on thw world. That's what mother would want…
That's what mother would want- ha-ha bull shit,mama's boy. She's gone and you can't get her back. It's all your fault because you didn't protect her , ,you ran way like a frightened child.
No,she's not gone. She's alive…I just know it… I can feel her...her presence is strong. . I sigh hesitantly, which brings two guards to attention.
"Sir,are you alright?"
I quickly compose myself, ridding of any signs that show of bickering thoughts once before. I swallow,clearing my throat. "No Lt. Mitsurugi,I am well."
"Yes,sir." He answers with a salute. He's like a toy soilder perfected in his ways,an exact copy of everyone else. It won't matter if he got melt by the rays of the sun,he could be easily replaced. He was like every other servant if you'd call them that- mindless,willing to die,loyal. Morons. People who value their lives so much - who found themselves here.
They're mindless freaks you dolt- they serve us,they have no meaning,no life. They are beneath you. If something happened to them no one would care. Unlike them you,Jin Kazama- you will be the most powerful man in the world. You have the power to have anything you want. You will never be punished for your wrong actions. You have so much no one can take it from you-because you can gain it back. Love,hope,happiness. You'll have no regrets..ever…fuck the world if they oppose you…they're just jealous. They're jealous of your power- that you possess,they know you can control them. Think of Kazama- you'll never be anyone's punching bag anymore,everyone will be your doormat.
I listen the thoughts,maybe haven't this much power isn't so bad. Maybe, I can buy myself happiness,hope. Just thinking over never having to regret letting Heihachi use me. Never having Hwoarang follow me or never have this pain. I smile,then cross my legs,then bellow a laugh. I laugh that sounds nothing like my voice,who ever's laugh it was,dripping in dominance. Whoever it was I liked it.
Moments later, the doors of the corridor burst open. A small pink dot came running toward me,I squinted my eyes . Two guards were after it, as the pink dot came closer I began to recognize it's form. Xiaoyu!
"After her!" My head guard Takashi yelled, the guard men and their guns pointed ready to shoot. "HAULT!" I stood from my seat, and like puppets my men ceased their actions.
"Jin! I found you!" Xiaoyu ran up to my throne,heaving,out of breath. I was so happy to see her, and unlike me I wrapped my arms around her. Holding her close,it was the first time since my mother passed ,I held anyone that close. I inhaled the scent of Xiaoyu's hair ,it was child-like,the scent of laughter. Xiaoyu pulls away,but smiling all the more.
"Jin ,I came to tell you…how to be at peace with yourself…" She whispered, my ears cocked up. I can finally be happy!
I held her hands in mine,listening to every single word. "Yes. Tell me." This is miracle,I've been waiting for…
" Jin,you must accept…Jesus Christ as your savior."
What?! I couldn't believe my ears.
"Pardon?"
"That's the true way to be at peace with yourself. I'm sorry ,Jin. God sent me to tell you that and when God sends me to do something –I do it." Xiao looked me dead in the eye-sincerely. She wasn't finished. "I know this is sudden,but Jin God showed me a vision of what you'll be come in the near future. It wasn't pretty…Jin….you really don't have to feel this way… about life…you don't have to beat yourself up. You can have hope,joy,….love…" She whispered .
Part of me wanted to believe,give it a chance. It just seemed unbelievable. "What about all I've done? I let my mother die-it was al my fault…"
"It wasn't your fault Jin,it wasn't …God knew..Jin… he hears you…" Tears start to roll down Xiao's face.
What about what I've become? The devil inside of me, won't I go to hell?
"God's always listening Jin..even in the darkest hours… now Jin I'm not going to lie to you…if you become a Christian you're life is not always gonna be perfect…but atleast you know you'll always be forgiven, and God always has his arms open to you…always…"
Impossible! Don't believe this sunshiney bitch…she's lying…there's no God!...If there was…he wouldn't make disasters like you…he wouldn't make any one suffer…endure so much… She doesn't understand…she'll never understand…Lies…all of it…every last word of it..
"Jin…becoming a Christian…is one of the easiest things… you can do… all you have to do is say this prayer…" She reaches into her pocket to retrieve a small bible. "Jin…There are some things you have to sacrifice but it's for the better…I promise you…you'll feel better about yourself…in no time…"
I stood in shock, my mind whirled… I didn't know what to do… Part of me wanted to believe…it was hope… I could finally be a good guy. It all seemed so true. Then it overwhelmed. I couldn't control it ,it had already taken control over me.
"GET OUT!" Xiao looked up at me horrified. The good part of me was horrified too, it was screaming to help but it was too scared to fight it. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, I DON'T NEED YOU! I DON'T NEED GOD! GUARDS ARREST THIS CRAZY BITCH!"
"Jin! WAIT! I want to help you! Right now you might not understand, but you will in time!" Takashi handcuffed her with force. "Sir, would you like to say any last words…."
"I don't want to see your face….ever again…I don't love you…I never did…never will….how was I a fool to love someone like you? A liar…a stupid-stupid-little girl …immature…and never…had a taste of life…" Then I slapped her across the face.
Xiao looked at me with tear stained cheeks."Jin…I'm not here to curse you…I've said what God wants me too…My prayers go out to you… hopefully I'ved helped you in the long run…good bye Jin."
Then ,for a brief second ,I felt remorse. I knew from right then and there, maybe I could changed my ways.. What have I become? Then I knew deep inside, that I wouldn't be seeing Xiaoyu for a long time. I knew,what I did today I would soon regret.
A/N: How was it? It's Controversial isn't it? I'm sorry. I'm not here to bash anyone's religion,for the most part I am a Christian - I do read the bible and attend church. I do respect other people's religion. You're possibly wondering why I would write such a fic- if I'm a Christian- why write something so dark and angry? I tried to give a realistic view of Jin- he's hurt,confused, and mad ,etc. But remember if you'd been as much stuff as Jin (and had an evil enmity living inside of you) you'd feel the same way. Xiao's role in this part was to share her belief in hopes of helping Jin. I as a Christian,believe that'd if one were to accept Jesus as their savior-they'd be forgiven and could live the way God intended them too. (Which by the way is easier said then done).