Disclaimer: Well.. If I owned it, it might be mostly about Roy and Ed. :D

AN:// Ohemgee, my space bar is broken. Do you know how annoying it is to type without a space bar? It's torture. Anyways, this a quite a few firsts. My first shouen-ai (which I cannot spell) my first RoyEd (even if it is severly mild) and my first oneshot. Yay.. Anyways, on with the show. Review if this is total crap, mildly good, or awesome:D

"WHAT THE HELL?" A screech made the office walls shake. The subordinates of one Roy Mustang just sighed, used to the yelling matches between the two State Alchemists.

"Fullmetal, I'm serious. Haven't you ever tried it before?" A light chuckle on their superiour's voice.

"N-no. I-I.. I thought it'd be kinda scary."

Now that caught their attention. The 'Boss' would never say something like that.

"C-Colonel bastard! Back off, no way in hell am I interested!"

"Fullmetal.. Ed.." His voice dropped to a seductive purr. "You know you want to. I'll be gentle, I promise. No one ever forgets their first time.

Havoc's jaw dropped, hanging slack as his ever present cigarette fell from his mouth. What. The. HELL?!? Roy was gay?!? OHMIGOODGOD he was gay. Roy Mustang, ladies man, and promisers of (drool) miniskirts on all military woman was straight as a circle? His mind would've continued ranting in such a manner, if he hadn't heard the meek answer,

"Fine, bastard."

At this point in time the entire office was listening intently, while Hughes was trying desperatly from laughing; the strain on his ribs causing him to roll on the floor, chuckles sneaking out behind Breda's hands. Fuery had fainted, and Riza was just staring in shock, and maybe smirking a little smugly.

There was a shuffle of cloth, and a "Hup!" on Roy's part. For a few seconds, silence. Then, Ed's voice thick with something no one could quite identify.

"R-Roy.. My God.. Roy.. This feels.." A moan. "So..good."

"I told you, Fullmetal. No one forgets what it feels like." Grunt, grunt, thump.

"Aww, old man, don't tell me you're tired out already. C'mon, you weakling, let's go again!"

Derisive snort. "Of course not, shrimp. Fine, let's go show everyone, and you can feel it all..over..again." Thump.

"OWW! Dammit, watch where you're going?"

"You're heavy."

"Bastard, get on with it."

Another thump against the door. "AGH, watch it you bastard! That bloody hurt!"

At this point most were quite pale, or quite red. What in God's name was happening- was it really what they thought it was? The handle twitched, and then fully turned.. Flinching, they braced themselves for..

"HAHA! Take that, shrimps."

Well, you'd never expect it, but..

Faces slowly turning towards the pair, they, they, they..

They facefaulted.

Edward Elric, proud State Alchemist, dog of the military, seer behind gates, and fifteen yers old was sitting on his bastard colonel's shoulders, elevating him a good five something feet.

Of course, the man underneath was smirking, as per usual, with a faint blush covering his cheeks that only a hawk's eye could see.

The infamous brother grinned cheekily. "Who short now, huh?"

Note: Get you're minds out of the gutters:D I blame this all on Nic and William, two guys at my school; Will's very o-chibi-san, and Nic is constantly smirking.. And strangly enough, Nic gave him a ride on his shoulder's today. 0o Ah, well, it gave me an idea. Sorry if any words are stuck together; broken space bar, remember? Review, please!