Hey everyone this is a story that sort of just popped into my head when I was sitting in one of my classes. I got out my notebook and wrote it down, thankfully we weren't doing anything in that class that day but of course you don't want to know that you just want to read my Fanfiction. Anyways tell me what you think, please. Let me know if I should continue on with the story. Did I mention that this a Degrassi story for Eli and Clare.
Disclaimer: I own a cardboard fish. I don't own Degrassi.
Breathe Ch.1
Clare's POV
(Flashback)
"Eli stop please!" I yelled grabbing his hand.
"No if I don't go face him he will never leave me alone." He said ripping his hand out of mine.
"Eli someone's going to get hurt. Please don't fight him." I said pleading.
"Clare it has to be done. What he did. He just went too far this time." He said.
"No, please, I'm fine; please he didn't mean to, he didn't hurt me that bad." I yelled.
"He did hurt you Clare! He hurt the only thing I loved!" Eli yelled back at me.
"Well, well you showed up emo boy." Fitz laughed.
"Eli please stop! I love you." I yelled as he walked closer to Fitz.
"You went too far this time Fitz." Eli snarled at him.
"Oh no that wasn't too far this is." He laughed pulling out a gun and pointing it at Eli.
"No please stop!" I yelled as I felt tears in my eyes.
"You don't have to go this far, no one has to die." Eli said backing away from Fitz.
"That is where you are wrong. Goodbye Goldsworthy." Fitz laughed as he shot Eli.
"Eli!" I yelled as I ran over to him crying. I held him in my arms as Fitz just stood there laughing. He started to walk away when he heard the sirens.
"Clare I love you." Eli whispered.
"I love you too. "I whispered back.
"I'm going to miss those long 18 minute stares. The times where I get to stare at those beautiful blue eyes." He smiled.
"Shh. It's going to be okay." I said through the tears as I ran my fingers through his hair.
I leaned down and gave him a kiss tasting blood. I looked down at him and stared into his wonderful green eyes seeing tears form in them. The same green eyes that I looked into when I first stayed over at his house on that July Saturday night. Then there was the time where we got into our first big fight. He came to my house crying begging for my forgiveness. His eyes had never as green as they did on the day when he first told me he loved me.
"Clare please tell Cece and Bullfrog that I lo…" He started before he took his final bittersweet breath on this cruel Earth. I heard the EMT's and police running over to us.
"Victim, male, age 18, unresponsive, no pulse, not breathing, I don't think he is alive." The EMT said into their walkie talkie.
I looked away as they carried the body of my Eli away. My Eli who had been murdered in front of my eyes. My Eli the only person who could make me feel loved. My Eli the only person in the world that I loved. My Eli the one who helped me get through all of the rough times in my life. My Eli my beautiful Eli. My Eli who was now gone from this world. My Eli who I will never get to hear his voice call out my name.
(Present Day)
This felt wrong. Sitting next to Cece both of us in a black dress. Bullfrog crying. Adam crying. Everyone who knew to be strong crying. This is wrong. Staring at Eli's body lying there in that casket. I felt like he should jump up and say "Surprise I'm alive and well!" Time to face the next group of people. Today was Eli's actual funeral. A few Degrassi students came well the ones that knew about his murder. Degrassi teachers walking in. Everyone giving me a hug. People I have never talked to before. Fiona walked up to me fresh tears in her eyes.
"Oh Clare, I'm so sorry." She said pulling me into a hug.
Everyone keeps saying that they are worried about me. I haven't been myself some say. My mom got me a therapist, the same one Eli went to for his Bipolar Disorder. Cece tells me it's time to say our goodbyes. Time for my speech. How will I be able to keep all of these locked up emotions in.
"Eli was my true love, my best friend. I didn't want to write this speech like I was talking to a group of people. I wanted to write it to Eli.
Dearest Eli,
There are many things I have wanted to say to you. I never got to tell you. I was saving them for when we got married like you promised. Remember we were going to write our own vows. Since I won't get to do that I will say them to you now. You're so special to me and I can't even explain why. All I want right now is to wake up where you are. You're favorite line that you always told me is still ringing in my ears. Remember when you said to me: "Wasn't beautiful when you believed in everything". Do you remember us being so in love that we didn't know what to do?" I stopped feeling tears because of the Eli quote I was ready to say.
"You would always tell me "Don't take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway". Who would have thought that you were right? You taught me so much. You taught me how to live, how to love. I gave you all of me and in return you gave me the love and happiness I was missing." I stopped silently letting the tears fall.
"But now, now you left me. I thought you were being selfish at first. I thought that you didn't love me anymore because you left me. I wanted to join you so bad that I threatened to take my own life. Then I realized you weren't being selfish. You did it out of love, you saved me. I love you forever Eli. Love, Clare." I said. I sat down between Adam and Fiona. I started to cry harder as I leaned my head on Fiona's shoulder as she comforted me.
It was time for his parents and me to have our private last goodbye with Eli. We went in and all just stood there for a minute. Cece and Bullfrog said their goodbyes and then they turned towards me.
"Clare, we want you to have a minute to yourself with Eli okay?" Bullfrog asked.
"Yeah, but can you please tell Fiona to come in with me, I may need her." I said.
"Of course sweetheart." Cece said. They walked out and Fi came in a minute later.
"I'm going to need you in the future and you're not going to be there. Why is the only thing I want to know but now that will never get answered?" I said grabbing his hand. It felt wrong holding his cold hand instead of his normal strong and warm one.
"Please just know I love you." I said before leaning down and placing one last kiss on his cold unloving lips. I felt Fiona pull me away and wrap me in a hug. I fell to the floor in her arms crying, more like sobbing.
"Clare its okay please stop crying you are going to make me cry." She said her voice cracking.
"Fiona you don't understand, my whole life is going to be buried in the ground. I can't let go of him." I said.
"Clare it's going to be alright." She said crying.
"I thought kissing him would bring him back, but then I remembered that my life isn't a fairy tale it's far from it. And to make it worse I have to testify at Fitz's murder trial." I said crying harder.
The rest of that day was one big blur in my eyes. We buried Eli and then everyone went to the Goldsworthy's house for food afterwards. I went home even though Cece said that I could stay over and sleep in Eli's room. I couldn't bring myself to walk in there yet. I came home and walked straight up to my bedroom. I took off my dress put on sweat pants, a cami, and one of Eli's jackets that I borrowed and never gave back.
Well there you go! I hope you like it; please tell me if you like it and if I should continue on with this story. Well thanks for reading and I hope you did like it.