Emmetts years of boredom

by Fezzesarecool93

how does it have to do with playboy, goldfish, soccor, the presedent. what does Emmetts do when he is bored and what does this have to do with other list, R&R and i will write the other list mentioned within this list

1. Chapter 1

this list is not meant to be mean, it was just meant to be funny. and me and savanaha apoligize for anyone it offends

so let the reading commence

Disclaimer: i do not own twilight or any of its characters -runs away crying-

Emmetts years of boredom:

1. Buys an escalader and a slinky, It never ends

2. Tries to tickle himself, "Arg, I can't stop myself"

3. Tries to hypnotize himself, "Oh, shiny"

4. Plays dress-up with Alice, He's hunky for a female

5. Shops with Alice, How do you think he got his big bad biceps?

6. Plots to destroy world, #1: drown everyone in cottage cheese

7. Builds time machine out of cardboard boxes, Alice found a little girl to play dress-up with. He thought it was Alice and screamed

8. Build a clone machine, Tried to take over Europe

9. Create world war III with nuclear bombs, And that's why America thinks that there are weapons of mass destruction

10. Invents toaster strudel, "Someone had to"

11. Recreation of Mount Rushmore on the Rocky Mountains, Fist of fire, Ha

12. Went swimming in the ocean, Who do you think caused Hurricane Katrina, God?

13. Went to Mars, No one found any life because Emmett was there

14. Joined NBA, Schooled all them suckers

15. Kicked out of NBA, To many gym floor repairs

16. Arm wrestling match with principle, We hope he's in a better place

17. Tried to become a priest, The church burnt down

18. Plays jump rope, Earthquakes come from where?

19. Created a steel skateboard, Wood ones are like paper

20. Tried to count to infinity, Lost count at 20, every time

21. Jumped into a volcano, And Hawaii was formed

22. Watching the clock tick, It was smashed against the wall

23. Played soccer, I've never seen a decapitated goalie

24. Tried to find identical snowflakes, Got mad, and global warming started

25. Tried to reverse time by running around Earth, Hence forth time moving forward

26. Tried to be king, Became the 24th president

27. A Jew looked at Rosalie, he became envious, Who else could Hitler be?

28. Tried to taste the rainbow, Skittles got to him

29. Tried to find a pot of gold, And you wonder how midgets were created

A/N me and Savanaha came up with the idea for this list when we were in Geometry. seeing as we sit next to each other we talk alot and we came up with ideas of what Emmett has done when he was bored and so this list came into excistence

and for those of you that have never read any of my fan fiction before, Savanaha is one of my friends and she is the co-author of this list

please reveiw for i love reviews. if you dont send reveiws then i will be sad and i dont wanna be sad