This is inner thoughts, dialoge, and lyrics
Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
I'm tired of all of this. This hatred, this village, these useless people…Oh! How I despise them all! No one would care if I died. If it weren't for old lady Tsunade and old man Sarutobi I would've left a long time ago. Heck I probably would have been killed if it weren't for them. Oh. I forgot to introduce myself. My name's Namikaze Naruto. Well you would probably know me as Uzumaki Naruto though. Namikaze happens to be my real last name; turns out the man who caused all my problems just happens to be my father. I found out about my parents last year while training with Jiraiya, a perverted hermit and kage-level ninja. I'm a genin, a beginning ninja, for my home village of Konoha.
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
I can guess that my father didn't know that I would be seen as the fox or that the villagers would hate me because of him. Yes that's right. I'm the host for the Kyubi no Yoko, the nine-tailed fox demon. What? Are you going to call me "Demon"? Or how about "Bakemono (monster)"? You can call me anything I've heard it all before. Well not everything, I've never been called "Friend."
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
You probably want to know what I look like right? Well I'm sixteen years old and am five feet tall. Though with my spiky blond hair I'm two inches taller. I have cerulean blue eyes and because of Kyubi I have three scars on each cheek so when I smile I look like a fox. I also wear a mask. No not one you wear at Halloween or for a masquerade ball, it's mental. But it's there all the same. The fake me is hyper, outgoing, loves ramen and the color orange, playing pranks, and not only is naïve but is an idiot too. The real me is calm, anti-social, hates ramen, loves dark colors, despises pranks, and is intelligent and sarcastic. For you to understand me better you need to understand my past. I was born on October 10, 1992. The same day Kyubi made it to the gates of my home village Konoha. My father, the kage of Konoha at the time, had to get rid of the beast somehow so he decided to seal it into a newborn baby. Jiraiya said that was the only way. Lucky me, there wasn't enough time to look for an alternative. It's unfortunate because I wasn't the only baby born that day. I guess my dad couldn't use someone else's child or he just couldn't ask someone to do that. After sealing Kyubi away so he couldn't destroy the rest of the village with the help of the shinigami, the god of death, my dad died soon after giving me my first name. I can't begin to imagine why he gave me the name Naruto, which are those fish things in ramen. As I grew up so did the hatred. It only got worse on my birthday too. The villagers would beat me to an inch of my life then leave me wherever they did it to die. Only Sarutobi, who apologized profusely every time it happened, always found me. I know he didn't mean for me to get beaten up. It wasn't his fault but he thought it was. Sometimes even the ninja of the village would attack me with jutsus. One jutsu that I remember was, shockingly enough, Raikiri, lightning blade. The same jutsu my "sensei" Hatake Kakashi is famous for. Actually I wouldn't be too surprised if he did use it on me.
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
I should probably explain what's going on. Well after the chunin (intermediate ninja) exam began there was a mini-war between Konoha and two other villages Sand and Sound. Orochimaru, one of Sarutobi's students, started it. He tried to, and succeeded, in killing Sarutobi. Not long after that I had to go traveling with Jiraiya to find his remaining teammate Tsunade to be the next kage. Then Sasuke, my old best friend, had to go and betray Konoha for power to kill his brother and because of that he tried to kill me. I was close to letting him do so just so I wouldn't have to deal with the stress anymore. But then Kyubi interfered and ruined that idea. Well either way the Uchiha's back home where he belongs. But I still don't think I should be here. Now that you have a bit of a rundown on my past let's get to the present. Hinata Hyuga, a girl that used to have a crush on me, is going out with my best friend Gaara of the Desert, the current leader of the Sand village. He's a cool guy once you get beyond the tough guy exterior. Anyway time to get on with the story. The day is warm, bright, and sunny just how I like it. Not. I'd be happy if it were raining…or storming. Yeah, storming, I like that better. I sigh as I drag myself out of bed.
"Why can't you ever reflect my mood and not my hair?" I ask the sky as I move to my closet and get my dark orange jumpsuit and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I open the door and go inside; I walk over to the sink and stare at myself in the mirror for a few seconds. I notice that I look paler than I should and there are rings around my eyes. "I'm starting to look a bit like Gaara now." I say and shake my head to clear my thoughts. In one of the drawers there's a razor blade that's just calling my name. "No. Stay strong. I can't go back to doing that…" I growl but trail off as I realize who cares? No one that's who.
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
It's been nine months since I stopped cutting and started to get better. I wasn't able to hide it from Jiraiya forever. Too bad to it helped me sustain my mask. I shake out of my trance and quickly finish up, get dressed, and leave the bathroom. I head through my room to the living room, even though no one living would stay there. On the walls were graffiti.
Some said, "Get out of here demon!" and still others said "Why don't you just die?!"
I shake my head sadly and continue to the front door. I get my sandals on and walk out the door.
If things go as planned, today will be the last day I set foot in the place again.
As I walk through the streets few people glare at me and even fewer notice me at all.
Guess it's because I'm not being loud and obnoxious. But I'm just too tired to go through with my mask today.
Soon the bridge where my team meets comes into view. What surprises me is that I don't see anyone there. "Huh? Where are they?" I look around the bridge, over the sides, even in a few trees. But I come up with nothing. I move to lean over the railing and stare at my reflection in the water.
"My guess is personal training. Hatake cares more about Sasuke and Sakura than me. I'm nothing to him…to anyone. Why am I even here?" I mumble sadly as a feather lands on my reflection distorting the image.
"Naruto-kun? Are you all right?" I jump and spin around quickly taking out a knife from the holster on my right leg as I turn to face the person only to see a surprised Lee. Realizing my mistake I quickly apologize and say that he surprised me. Lee smiles brightly, his teeth pinging in the sunlight making me sweatdrop. "Don't worry Naruto-kun. I understand that you weren't expecting me." Turning serious he adds, "But are you all right?"
I put my knife away and nod, turning back to the river beneath me. "Yeah Lee. I'm fine just a bit tired that's all." He doesn't need to know. Let him stay in the dark about how far my depression goes.
Lee doesn't seem convinced but doesn't push the subject anymore. Instead he asks "Have you seen Sakura-chan and Sasuke-kun anywhere?" I flinch at my teammates' names.
"No." I answer a little coldly.
Lee looks at me surprised. "Eh? But I thought…"
I shake my head. "I don't actually care, Lee. Anyway what are you doing here?"
Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
"O-Our teams are supposed to train together today. Kakashi-san said to come get you because you were late and…"
I nod not really interested. "Okay." Pushing off the railing I turn to face the black haired boy, "Lead the way, Lee." I say calmly.
He blinks once then twice. "All right Naruto-kun." Lee walks off towards one of the training grounds near a lake by the Forest of Death. I follow him and look at the scenery as we go.
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
"Lee! It's about time you got back!" Tenten yells to the taijutsu user.
He smiles brightly. "Naruto-kun looked sad so I thought I'd talk to him first before bringing him here!" he yells back as he runs forward to meet his teammate.
I just walk after him at a slow pace not really paying attention to them. This is so bothersome.
"Something's wrong with Naruto?" Neji asks slowly.
Lee nods, "Yeah."
"His youthfulness must be diminishing! Kakashi what are you teaching your students?" the older Lee look a-like yells and asks at the same time.
One word "scary." I sigh and ask, "What are we doing?" my tone is somewhat like Shikamaru's, lazy and uncaring.
Gai grins and says, "Youthful sparing!" My right eye twitches. Never talking to Gai again.
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
No one dares argue with Gai as who would want to see an angry Gai? The teachers pair everyone off.
"Neji and Naruto and Lee and Sasuke!" Gai says loudly almost yelling.
Neji sighs and turns to me. "Let's go."
I nod. "Sure."
Neji and I walk a certain distance away and start our battle. As we fight Neji asks me something, "What's bothering you? Don't lie and say nothing's wrong. I can tell there is."
I growl low enough that he can't hear me and mentally curse myself for forgetting about his ability. "Just tired." Not a full lie. Please don't push me.
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Neji glares at me, "Naruto! I'm your friend. If something's up you can tell me." I could hear the words beneath what he said. "Trust me please."
I want to…Neji. Believe me...I can't though…I just can't.
We stop fighting but I still don't answer him. "Naruto, you can trust me. Isn't that what friends do?"
I look at the ground for a second I turn around so my back is to him. "Sorry Neji." I whisper and run, run as fast as my legs can take me.
"NARUTO!" I hear Neji's scream but I don't stop, if anything I go faster.
Hurry I'm fallin'
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh, I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
I can't I'm sorry Neji. I just can't stand it anymore. Thank you though…for everything.
I smile a sad smile as I reach my destination; a large waterfall hidden deep in the forest. I'm finally here. I'm almost hesitant to ruin this paradise with blood. I take a knife out of the pouch on my right leg and raise it to the sky above my heart. "A quick death for the demon of Konoha. Perfect. Hold on Dad, I'm coming to join you!" I notice a familiar chakra signature coming towards me quickly. "Tch. Can't wait to see me dead can you, traitor?" I mutter coldly and bring the knife towards me.
Just as it's about to pierce skin I hear him scream "Naruto no!" and he slaps the knife out of my hands. I turn to look tiredly at Sasuke.
"What are you thinking, dunce?! What could drive you to kill yourself huh?!" he grabs my shoulders as he talks and shakes me.
"What do you know?" I hiss quietly.
He stares at me for a moment then says "I care about you. You're my precious person…if you die then I'm going right after you!"
I stare at him in shock but then I smile. A genuine smile I hadn't done in years. "Thank you, Sasuke."
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
He nods apparently happy that he changed my mind. He lets go of me and I smirk at his idiocy. Foolish. Does he thinks that will be all I need to recover? As he steps away from me I make a dive for the knife, which, as I hoped, surprised him. "Did you really think that would work?" I ask coldly as I pick the blade up.
"N-Naruto...?"
"What? Think that all I need to hear is that someone cares about me and I'll be all better?" I shake my head slowly. "Nice try, Uchiha. However you're too late!"
His eyes widen and he runs for to stop me yet again but this time I'm ready for him. I bring my hands into a familiar sign and say "Shadow clone jutsu." A hundred clones poof into existence and I hide amongst them. Using a few of the clones to distract him and the rest to remain hidden I raise the blade once more. "You're not going to stop me, Sasuke. I've been planning this from the beginning." I steal a glance at the raven but instead of happiness I see fear. Wh-what? Fear? Why fear? Shouldn't he be happy? Happy that I'm no longer there to annoy him?
"I-I-I'm so sorry, Naruto… I didn't mean to…"
I stare at him in confusion. "Why? Why are sad? Why aren't you happy to almost be rid of me?!" I yell out at him.
He doesn't seem to want to say but then closes his eyes for a moment and says "Because I…"
I almost growl at him. He's stalling me. "Out with it man!"
He takes a deep breath then "Because I love you! I always have. You were my light! I…I guess I always thought that you would be there…be bright."
"You…you can't! You can't love me!" I start to back up away from him. He quickly destroys the last of the clones and slowly walks towards me.
"I can and I do."
I shake my head 'no'. "You can't. I'm a demon. Not human…" I mumble trying to avoid him.
"I've always known about Kyubi." I look at him. I can tell he has more to say so I listen…for now. "But I don't care about that. You are not him! You and Kyubi are completely different people!"
Different…people..? I knew that already. But… I look away sadly, my eyes focusing on the waterfall. "No one else will ever see any differently. To the villagers I'll always be the fox and not the son of my father." I pause for a moment then look back at Sasuke and smile a bit. "Thanks for everything, Sasuke." I throw the blade to him and he catches it. He smiles back glad I didn't try anything. I hold out one hand and transfer chakra to it and consciously make it into a spherical shape. My chakra becomes visible and, still smiling at the now scared raven, I bring my hand to my chest and everything goes black instantly. Goodbye, Sasuke-kun. You'll always be my friend. I love you too.
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Hurry I'm fallin'
I wrote this for Creative Writing. This went over rather well. -