Broken Rhapsody
A/N: A short SasuHina fic I wrote at school. Apparently, I should be doing my research paper but since I'm done, I finished this up before the bell rings. And yeah, I did. Eheheh! Hope you'll enjoy!
Btw, no plot here but only the narrating of feelings. Not AU.
There are times when I wonder where will I be in my future. I wonder what my goal in life would be as I continue to progress. I know I must keep on going on. I know that I must be stronger. And then what? After being stronger enough so that father will say no more or after being the leader of my clan, what should I do then? Still become stronger?
If being stronger is the main goal in life, what about those people who are weak? Yes, I admit, I am weak. I am weak for my father, my family and my companions. I am weak for my own self. I can't even save someone from danger. And yet…I still live. Being stronger might be every one's goal and yet what will happen if they are strong enough or stronger more than any one else?
I wonder what has become of people who are too strong. Base on what I saw, many have become full of themselves while some even kill others to find someone better than them. In their search for power, they merely destroyed themselves. And as they destroyed themselves, a lot of people are affected. In this game of life, being strong doesn't mean being the top of all. But being the top of all is about being with some one who'll appreciate who you are, no matter how weak you are.
And in this topic, you'll meet Naruto Uzumaki.
He might not be the strongest person in Konoha. He might be someday as what he's dream would be but I still believe he is the strongest. For whether I am with him, I feel that I am strong enough. I feel that I can be anyone I wanted to be when I'm with him. He gives me confidence as well as strength. His presence is enough to make me feel this way. His being himself matters even if a lot call him dobe. And I wanted to be with him, not just for the strength that he gives me but also because his presence makes me complete.
Yes, he makes me feel I'm complete.
And yet, I wonder what he will be after he will gain the title of Hokage. I wonder about what would I be after I gain the title of being the leader of my clan. I wonder about my future. I wonder about if I'll spend my future with him. And that thought brings ache in the deepest recesses of my heart. Not just because that possibility is very limited but also because he can't even notice me, but notice Haruno Sakura-chan instead.
I must admit there was this time when she annoyed me. She didn't even notice Naruto's feelings for her and instead drives him away. He goes and asks her for a date and what will he get? A punch in a stomach or a kick in the shins. I might say I got annoyed for she can't even be a little bit nicer to him but then, I can't blame her. That's her personality and I can't do anything about that. Maybe that's her way of showing her affection for him…in a weird way. I guess I'm just jealous because I wanted Sakura's place instead of mine but what could I do? He loves her and she is my friend. The least I could do is watch them from afar and at least be happy for them if ever they will get along. At least they are friends. He and I are merely…acquaintances. I'll be contented then. I won't expect more. I'm already satisfied that he is all right. If he is, then I won't ask for more.
I'm contented but I never felt true happiness.
Maybe, he will notice me if I'll get stronger. If I'll do, maybe he will not notice just how weak I am. Maybe he will not notice my annoying stutters and maybe…just maybe, he would learn to notice me in more-than-friends way. But that could only happen if I'll get stronger. And if I am not still, then, I will not expect.
It's harder to expect more than what you will get.
And it hurts more than how you feel when you jumped from the top of the building and still ended living.
Hyuuga Hinata
Who am I?
Who will I be after I'll live after my final battle?
What will happen to me after killing my brother?
These questions often enter my mind, subconscious or not. I wonder about my future. I closed myself to people so that I will gain power to kill my brother. I tried to be the best that I could be. I pushed myself to the limits. I almost destroyed my whole life just by being strong. And in the end, I finally gained that power I was searching for. I did. And I left my homeland just to gain that. But I became stronger and went back home. Again, my purpose to kill my brother is so immense that I would get nightmares everyday. But I don't mind. These nightmares get me going on. These nightmares make me not to forget about the murder of my family. That in the end, I would be able to accomplish what I truly wanted in life. That in the end, I would finally see the end of him. And after that?
I don't know.
I truly don't know. I might eventually regret closing myself from people but if I did not, I might regret for not avenging my parents and my clan. And yet again, I might rebuild the trust in Konoha nor with my friends. My life would be totally ruined.
But there was one thing that keeps me going on. The only thing that made me go back home. The only thing that gave me a reason to live, other than avenging.
Her.
I know she observes my two friends in shadows, just like how I'm observing her. Her peculiarly beautiful pale eyes with a tint of lavender always captivated me. Her gentle and shy attitude attracts me the most. And her all makes me feel…clean. It seems that whenever I'm with her, I'm purified. It seems that whenever I'm with her, I'm cleaned by my sins. It seems that she cleanses the blood in my hands. And then again, I can't reach her.
I know whom she loves. And that dobe didn't even notice. He annoys me and yet again, nothing goes inside that thick brain of his. And I'm doomed seeing her get hurt over and over again. Her pain seems to be directed to me and yet again, I can do nothing. I can do nothing to avert her feelings. She will always love him while me? These feelings only meant for her will remained hidden.
Forever.
When I came back from Konoha, I wanted so much to see her. And yet, I did. But only once. When the rookie 9 came over to visit me in the hospital. Of course, I don't know why I expected her to visit me often but I did anyway. And I felt so unloved when she didn't. Maybe she would always think of me as a traitor now. Maybe she hates me too. But I know Hinata never know how to hate. And though sometimes I think there's something behind that kind façade of hers, I know it's not true.
It hurts still to be unloved. I know Sakura's there. But I could only see her as a friend. Nothing more. Nothing less. She does comforts me and I can no longer see her as a fan girl when we were young. But…Hinata's different. And all I wanted is to be with her. To be cleaned with all the sins I have and to be purified with her love.
I know I don't deserve her love. I know she don't notice me at all even if everyone does. She will merely consider me as one of the sought after bachelors in the village, the rookie 9's genius or worst, the Konoha's traitor. But I can do nothing about that. This is I and hopefully, she would notice me more than that.
I grew up being alone. And I don't expect growing old not alone. But I can't help but feel I won't when I'm with her. I…she means to me. That after killing Itachi, I would go after her. She is the reason why I should still be alive after my final battle. I would not die not letting her know how I feel. But I can't tell her now. Not now but when the time comes, I will. Soon.
For in this world full of lies, she's the only truth I know.
And because I…
…I love her.
A/N: Kindly review.
