Monster
Frank gave up trying to sleep and sat up. The hard edge of the canvas cot cut into his thighs, but he ignored the pressure and just sat for a while, allowing the humid closeness of the summer night to press in around him. A mosquito whined in his ear, and he slapped it, too hard, making his ears ring.
"Wha?" mumbled Pierce, jerking half-upright.
"Go back to sleep, Hawk. Frank's just flagellating himself again."
"Flagellate quieter, Frank. I had just about melted off to sleep."
"Oh, you -- shut up, you," Frank snapped back. No one could sleep in this disgusting heat, he thought, not even those two inebriates. He glared at McIntyre's shadowy corner of the tent. Was he going to get up? He thought he could make out the man's long legs, comfortably -- obscenely -- spread, not so much as a sheet covering them. McIntyre stirred, but then settled back onto the bunk and all was quiet again.
"Nerts to you," Frank whispered. He fetched his Bible and turned on his lamp. Pierce threw a pillow at him in protest, but it landed short and Frank ignored it. He settled in on his stomach, propped the Bible in front of him, and thumbed restlessly through its familiar tissue-thin pages.
The words were a meaningless jumble of red and black letters. Instead, he was seeing -- remembering -- last night at this time. The shower. He had been sleepy, off his guard, and had stared too long.
Frank closed the Bible and ran a thumb down the index tabs. Leviticus.
Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
McIntyre's broad hard body had been cooled by the water into something like marble. For once, there had been no mocking and no anger.
Defile not ye yourselves in any of these things: for in all these the nations are defiled which I cast out before you:
Trapper had regarded him with a curious smile and then tugged him into the stall. His robe had been soaked. It fell to the floor and they stepped on it. Later, Frank knelt on it.
Ye shall therefore keep my statutes and my judgments, and shall not commit any of these abominations;
They had been clean and cool and laughing ... and yes, dammit, happy. For one moment, while the cool water washed away the sticky Korean heat.
For whosoever shall commit any of these abominations, even the souls that commit them shall be cut off from among their people.
Trapper's approving smile had made him feel welcome and sufficient, simply a man among his fellow men. Maybe someone who could have friends, could be kind and open with them.
Therefore shall ye keep mine ordinance, that ye commit not any one of these abominable customs,
They had kissed afterward, light innocent kisses that made him think of stolen moments in the apple orchard with a girl when he was about twelve.
defile not yourselves therein
What he had done ... he almost couldn't remember it. He could only remember the water, streaming down, washing them clean.
I am the LORD your God.
What he had done.
defile not yourselves therein
What he had become.
I am the LORD your God.
Monstrous.