Neon Genesis Evangelion: A pointless funny!

By: Andross937

Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion, nor do I own any of the songs I use in this or any material I am making fun of. I am not making money off it, so please don't sue me! I'm just a poor little boy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The music blared around Asuka's ears. She danced to the sound of the Dragula remix that streamed from the speakers around her in the club. She loved this song and let herself get lost in the music. Her body flowed to the music as she danced, smiling to herself.

She had had a hard day at NERV and was glad to finally get away from it. Misato had told her not to leave the apartment because section 2 was not going to be able to watch her and Shinji tonight due to being recalled for tonight. She didn't care as she had left the house to go clubbing tonight. She was glad to be able to get away from their eyes.

Suddenly she felt someone's strong hands wrap around her waist. She turned to see a guy with a look in his eyes that showed he was drunk and attracted to her. He had impure intentions for her and planned on acting on them.

She acted quickly and elbowed him in the gut. He didn't really react too much as he was much stronger then her and was relatively unharmed by her. He lifted her up and carried her out a side entrance. Because of all the noise and dancing, nobody really noticed these events. None but one that is.

Just as the side entrance door opened and they entered the alley, Bodies by Drowning Pool began playing and streamed out into the alley with them. Asuka screamed and kicked at the air as she was being carried by the man who had his hands wrapped around her waist.

" Back off buddy or you'll regret it." came a calm voice from the side entrance.

Asuka looked up to see the one person she really did not want to see. Shinji Ikari stood there. The drunk did not respond to his request all that well.

He put her down all right! He tossed her into a pile of garbage and pulled a knife out as he ran at Shinji. Shinji ran at the man as well.

Then Shinji did something that amazed Asuka. He kicked his leg up and struck the man's elbow, sending his knife into the air. Shinji caught the knife and slashed at the man.

The blade slashed across the man's shirt and left a large slit in the front. Then Shinji reached his left arm up and struck the man in the head. Then Shinji ducked and kicked up at the man, kicking him right between the legs. Then Shinji dropped the knife and began to repeatedly strike at the man faster then Asuka could see.

Before Asuka could fully see what happened to the man, he went flying into the wall and put a hole in it. This of course knocked the man out.

" I am Shinji Ikari!!! and I will be the ONE!!!" Shinji shouted. Asuka face faulted on the ground at his tacky statement.