I wrote this entire story today in less that an hour and a half so you all got a chance to read my wonderful story and... Okay, I'm rambling. Point taken. I hope you like this. I'd like to know what everyone thinks, although you're probably thinking that I should work on my other stories like Into the Darkness and Where the Heart is. But I just had to pen, or in this case type out my idea.
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Naruto. The song is 'Car Underwater' by Armor for Sleep.
Hints of yaoi, probably will switch to yaoi later on, and brief mentions of suicide, but nothing graphic.
Chapter One: Let's End the Pain
Desolate cerulean eyes gazed down at the rushing river below with apathy. If he fell in now, no one would be able to rescue him. He didn't care. It was one of the many conditions that urged him to take his life. No one would find him...He could finally be at peace.
No more Sakura to reject him ever time he asked her out; dismissal after dismissal had left him hollow and empty on the inside. Maybe she knew the truth about him. Perhaps he was unworthy of love and affection as a demon. Yes. That had to be it.
No more beatings by the villagers. The bruises and other injuries faded too quickly to provide evidence of his abuse. Once, he'd attempted to tell Kakashi, but the words never came out right. Instead of "Kakashi-sensei...Why isn't anything being done to stop the villagers from hurting me?," it was "Kakashi-sensei. Will you...treat me to ramen?" to which the answer was a firm "no."
Naruto bit his lip as an image of Sasuke surfaced upon the whirlpool of memories churning and frothing within him. The Uchiha was like brother to him. No, closer than a brother. He felt a tiny spark of something akin to affection whenever he found himself watching the raven-haired boy. He thought, perhaps, that the spark could grow into love if he planned on still living.
But that would never happen. Not now. Too many things had happened. There were so many things, so many words and actions that could not be taken back. His sins could not be repented. The endless time he'd endured alone in the dark, not because it was actually dark, but because he had no money to pay for the electricity, were proof of that.
Thunder crashed above him as if Kami and his divine friends were bowling in the heavens. A fork of lightning illuminated the sky, creating a stark contrast between the trees and the river.
He took another step forward, delighting when some of the damp earth below the hill face crumbled away under his foot. He could make it look like an accident. Then no one would be left behind with the heavy burden of bearing the guilt for his death. And he couldn't swim either, an even bigger plus.
Another foot, and then another foot, and then he was standing directly above an angry grey-blue river waiting patiently to swallow him up. Kunai and shuriken clinked together in his pockets. He had taken the liberty of filling them to the point of almost bursting at the seams to weigh his body down. He was not going to leave a mess behind.
There were two letters in his apartment. There was one addressed to Kakashi and Team 7, and another for Iruka.
'Believe the news
I'm gone for good
Call off the search
No one will know that I'm dead yet'
Naruto opened his arms to give him more leverage as he fell into the river. He opened his eyes to a vast blue landscape of indiscernible depth. Was the water really this deep? It didn't look like it on the surface.
After two minutes, his lungs began to burn with the need for oxygen. Naruto overrode the urge to come up even though he could not swim to the surface if he wanted to. He opened his mouth to let water rush in. A headache was building fiercely and it rose to a point where he wanted to scream.
Earlier...
Sasuke was in the middle of eating onigiri when something caused him to drop the piece he was holding. A sinking feeling in his stomach, as though a heavy lead weight were being pressed down upon him, made his appetite run away screaming.
Something wasn't right. He could feel it in his gut. He strapped his sandals on and took off running, allowing his instinct to guide him. Before he knew it, he was facing the decrepit door to Naruto's run down apartment. Pushing it open he was surprised to find that it was not locked.
The door squeaked pathetically on its one single hinge. As he walked inside, he was startled by the amount of holes in the walls. Did Naruto ever stay warm in the winter? Was that why he wore he jacket all the time? If so, Sasuke didn't blame him. He attention was suddenly grabbed by the hand and led to a small table where two sealed envelopes sat on its surface.
"Iruka...Team Seven?"
Hoping to Kami and whatever other deities existed that these weren't what he thought they were, he opened the one that was addressed to Team Seven.
'Kakashi...
You weren't half the sensei that Iruka was to me, but soon that won't matter any more. If you were so sharp as a jonin, maybe you would have picked up on my pain. I never showed you the bruises and cuts from the villagers. I never mentioned all the horrible things they did to me.
My point is that you were always paying attention to Sasuke and not me. You only saw him as a prodigy because he had better chakra control and he possessed the Sharingan like you. Even Sakura was neglected by you...'
Sasuke felt his stomach churn horridly as he scanned through the rest of the letter until he came to a short paragraph with his name above it at the end of the page. He began to read.
'Sasuke...
You are a really strong genin, better than I'll ever be.'
He winced at the biting sarcasm before continuing.
'Honestly, I mean that. That's why Kakashi-sensei pays attention to you. Remember in the Land of Waves where you took those senbon for me? I think...And you'll probably hate me for saying this, but I think that I like you. If you crumple this up, that's fine. That's all I wanted you to know before I go. Goodbye, Sasuke.
Naruto
'Believe the note
I left for you
You can't turn back the clocks
You can't pull me up from here so don't even try.'
Shock spread over Sasuke's mind, numbing it into disbelief. Did Naruto really think that way? Wait a minute. He read the paragraph again.
'...Goodbye, Sasuke.'
Goodbye, Sasuke. Goodbye, Sasuke.
"Idiot!"
Sasuke left, slamming the door and running down into the streets. Behind him, inside the dilapidated apartment, the open letter slowly floated to the dirt-covered floor. He knew he couldn't teleport like his sensei could, but simply running would take too much time. They had to find Naruto in time. He had to.
He gathered some chakra and enveloped himself it. 'Please let this work.' he thought while squeezing his eyes shut. 'Teleport!' The Uchiha disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
Kakashi was in the middle of eating a mid-day meal when he heard a CRASH-THUMP inside his apartment. Sasuke's chakra signature flared out to him. He got up and went towards the source of the noise. What he found was quite different from what he expected.
A sweaty Sasuke with a face full of distress was lying face up on the floor. His heart felt like it was about to explode.
"And just how did you get in here, Sasuke? Did you...did you teleport?"
Sasuke gave a weary nod as he climbed to his feet.
"Naruto...Naruto is...suicidal...We have...We have to find him now!"
Sasuke hoped with every fiber of his being that Kakashi wouldn't ask questions.
"I understand. I'll find Sakura and send her off to search. We meet at the door of my house this time."
Sasuke did not so much as smile at Kakashi's ill-placed humor.
"We meet back here directly and one-o-clock. It's twelve-ten now, so that gives you almost an hour. Go."
Kakashi teleported to Sakura's house while Sasuke ran off to look.
'In a car underwater with time to kill
Thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me
What hurts more is that I would still die for you.'
'I'm in a car underwater with time to kill
Thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me
What hurts more is that I would still die for you.'
Something inside his heart cried out to him, but he ignored it. He searched the Hokage Mountainside Faces. He searched the training grounds. He searched the forest near the edge of Konoha. He asked anyone around him if they had seen the orange-clad ninja anywhere. Most of the villagers gave him a disgusted look along with a sharp "No." for a reply. He even received one "Who cares!"
'Make time slower
Give me longer
It's too late for me
No one will know that I'm dead yet.'
Panic was building inside of him every second that he was not closer to Naruto. What would happen if it were too late? Would he find Naruto...dead? He couldn't think about it. The genin meant more to him that he'd ever let on. And now that he knew of Naruto's confession...well. Maybe there was a chance for something more between them.
"Where are you, Naruto? Naruto!"
He continued to search and question people, but no one had seen the genin. As he stared hopelessly at the sky, it began to rain. Fat little droplets fell from the sky. The deluge of rain soaked him almost immediately.
Just as he was about to return to Kakashi's house, an idea came to him. If Naruto wasn't...he couldn't bear to think about it...but if he was still alive, that meant that he still had a chakra signature.
Closing his eyes he forced himself to relax and concentrate. A big blue globe of chakra appeared in his mind, but as he focused, he could make out distinct signatures of other shinobi. There! Near a river not too far from the training grounds! A small red and blue chakra signature flickered on the verge of extinction.
"Naruto! I'm coming. Just don't...don't die on me."
'Believe your dreams
Of me sinking
So far below
You can't pull me up from here so don't even try.'
'In a car underwater with time to kill
Thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me
What hurts more is that I would still die for you'
Naruto gasped, the pain in his chest ever growing. Kami, drowning was painful. He tried moving his arms to get to the surface, but the rushing water dragged him further beneath the surface. If he didn't do something, he truly was going to die.
Pain exploded through his body as he felt his elbow shatter against a rock. He screamed silently, bubbles floating up to the rampant surface. His tears were washed away by the river's flow. He'd always heard that before you died, you see your life flash before your eyes. Well, that was happening to him right now. He saw his life playing out like a movie in fast-forward and smiled at the irony.
In a car underwater with time to kill
Thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me
What hurts more is that I would still die for you'
Sasuke raced towards the river, not caring about his messy hair or the painful stitch in his side. All he care about was finding Naruto before it was too late. He ran and he ran and he ran. Past the trees, past hundreds of startled villagers, past several shinobi that actually started to ask him a question before he flew by, completely ignoring them in his quest to rescue Naruto.
You idiot, Sasuke. How could you have been so blind to the pain of one of your own teammates? Naruto suffered at the hands of villagers. They beat him! They hit him and they hurt him and you were too oblivious to even see it. You've seen the times he comes to training with that fake smile...the limp that he tries to disguise...the long sleeves that hid bloody bandages with injuries beneath them. You were so blind. So, so blind.
'Leave it up to me
To hurting you again
This one's not your fault
Please forgive me
Leave it up to me
To hurting you again
This one's not your fault
So forget, so forget, so forget me'
Naruto gasped as his head hit another rock. His feet slid on the slimy surface of the rock beneath him as he attempted to get his footing. He popped his head up above the surface just long enough to get one lungful of air before he was dragged beneath the surface again. A piece of his orange pants caught on a twiggy log below the tide. He was trapped underneath a deluge of rushing water.
'Kuso.' he thought. 'I don't...thu-thump...want...thu-thump...to die.'
He could hear his heartbeat gradually slowing down until it felt like he was trapped inside a roaring monster and the river was its belly.
'Don't think back, Don't think back of me at all
Just let me go.
Don't think back, don't think back of me at all
Just let me go.'
Kakashi knocked rapidly on the Haruno's front door. Sakura's mother opened the door with a wide smile, but when she saw the jonin's grave face, it fell away.
"You're Sakura's sensei, correct? What can I do for you?"
"Your daughter. Is she in?" Kakashi inquired. "I need to speak with her. It's an emergency involving a teammate."
"Oh goodness." she replied. "I do hope the Uchiha is fairing well. We need him to protect this village. Let me get her."
The slender woman quickly turned and shouted up the stairs. "Sakura! Your sensei needs assistance with something."
Kakashi's one visible eye shone with concern and uncertainty as the pink-haired kunoichi raced down the stairs.
"Bye, Okaa-san."
She shut the door after her mother turned her back.
"So, what do you need, Ka-- " she stopped after seeing the grim expression on his face.
"Naruto...You need to look for him. Sasuke is looking too. Meet back at my house in twenty minutes. Go."
The jonin teleported away, leaving a fearful and worried Sakura behind in a cloud of smoke. She ran off to search as well.
'Don't think back, don't think back of me at all
Just let me go
Don't think back, don't think back of me at all
Just let me go'
She saw Sasuke running through the training field but ignored him. She was looking for Naruto. Whether any of them believed it or not, she was searching with her soul. Naruto had become like a protective older brother to her. She was aware of her actions in the past, but she hoped to overcome her somewhat heart-crushing dismissals and earn a better relationship with Naruto.
'Naruto, where are you?' She frantically searched in the direction opposite of the one Sasuke had taken.
'Don't think back, don't think back of me at all
Just let me go
Don't think back, don't think back of me at all
Just let me go'
Sasuke's feet hurt and the stitch in his side threatened to topple him.
'In a car underwater with time to kill
Thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me
What hurts more is that I would still die for you.'
He entered a clearing, panting and clearly exhausted. Drops of sweat coated his face, dripping down to dampen his already soaked shirt. Wait...There was something up ahead. Was that...? It was. Footprints! He bent down to examine them and saw that the rushing water was eroding the hill face.
"Naruto! Naruto!"
There was no question about it. Naruto had definitely been here. Without doubt Sasuke knew that he was in the river. He had to be, whether it was by falling or his own decision. There was no other choice. He had to go in. He had to.
Naruto's thin frame was driven back into the side of a rock, knocking him unconscious. As his eyelids fluttered shut, he thought he saw a blue-clad figure raised above him like some divine light.
"For...get...me." he mumbled, slipping into the blackness of sleep.
'In a car underwater with time to kill
Thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me
What hurts more is that I would still die for you'
"Naruto!"
Holy Hell, the water was freezing. He swam to the center of the river, legs kicking as water threatened to splash down over his head. He ducked underwater and opened his eyes. A deep layout of blue surrounded him with no end in sight. But...Wait...What was that? He strained his eyes to see even though they were already burning and activated his Sharingan. Something orange was floating freely in the water.
He almost opened his mouth to call out but remembered suddenly that he was underwater. Besides, the looks of things were bad. A red substance haloed Naruto's head and his arm was bent at an odd angle.
'Naruto, please be okay.'
He swam until he collided with Naruto's unconscious form. He looked eerily blue, as though he belonged in this raging underwater environment. Sasuke wrapped his around the blond genin's waist and kicked off the rock to propel himself to the surface. As his head broke out above the water, he gasped. With one hand he paddled to the edge of the river and, using all the strength he had, half dragged and half hoisted Naruto's unconscious form onto the riverbank.
Cold and shaking as he was, Sasuke managed to assess the genin lying before him. He could immediately tell that Naruto was in critical condition. The frigid, icy water had turned his lips and fingers blue. His elbow appeared to be broken and the water had done nothing to slow the bleeding from the back of his head; a puddle of the red stuff was already pooling.
"Why?" a harsh, broken sob escaped the other boy's lips. "Why, Naruto? Why didn't I see your pain?"
He emptied his chakra reserves to teleport them back to the front of Kakashi's house where Sakura and their sensei were waiting.
"Sasuke!"
Sasuke was sitting on his heels, holding Naruto's head in his lap. He promptly collapsed beside Naruto, stained with blood, cold to the touch, and chakra depleted to absolute zero
'I would still die for you
I would still die for you
I would still die for you
I would still die for you'
Well, what do you think? Was it worth reading?