I bequeath You the world in May
/readfic/1802624
Аuthor: The great Perhaps ( /authors/310997)
Translating: MisfitMandy ( AcsGarza) and Eugene Flamov( ZhenaFlamov)
Fandom: My Chemical Romance
Rating: R
Size: MIDI, 46 pages, 20 pieces
Status: Finished
Description:
Sometimes people things happen that change their lives forever. Will happen this May.
Dedication:
Q.
Notes of the author:
When the crowd is lively and headstrong,
Hanging his head,
Fall silent you smile involuntary, —
I'm talking to you. (C)
Fet.
And no matter where I come to find peace.
Your arms are my protection
That's when I feel at home. (C)
Garou !
.me/c629328/v629328589/9a37/e9QT_
================== ==================== seven adventures ============================ ===========
I bequeath myself to the dirt,
let me grow my favorite herb,
If you want to see me, look for me under your boot-soles.
Walt Whitman "Leaves of grass" found in the book by John Green.
-HOOOOOW?
I closed my eyes and jerked the handset away from your ear, because my friend screaming like it was being cut.
-Oh my God, Skittles, can you keep it down? – I asked, leaning on the hood of his car.
-NOOOO! - again coming from the tube. – Seriously, how could you persuade Tina DeMour to go to prom with you? She is the coolest chick of the school, and you're just a sucker!
-Thanks, – I muttered.
-No offense, dude, you know it's true! replied Skeeth.
That was actually true. I was one of those called a loser and one big tough guys
locked in the ladies' room. It was not always, of course, easy for me sometimes as I remembered, and I found myself head in the trash. I was all angry, but I did not complain because they do not see the point. These guys are in any case will make me, so I suffered in silence, gave them enough of it, and when they finished, I sighed with relief. I was happy with such a life. I had friends at school, the same absurd and unlucky guys, like me, and yet I had two best friends, they really are the guys with the strange, but, seriously, we were fine.
And Tina DeMour it ... it was Tina DeMour . It was the sexiest, most beautiful and the hottest girl in school. And it was done for a bitch.
Everyone wanted Tina DeMour, but, as expected, chose the coolest guy in school, the last bastard Curtis Forster, and they are really well-suited to each other. For their personal life watched the whole school because girls could not wait to get Curtis will be free, and the guys waiting for opportunities to roll up to the Tine without being tucked Curtis in the trash. It was really rubbish. But it was a very steep rubbish, so everything and everyone wanted her.
The fact that we were to go together to the prom, it came quite by accident. Naturally, Tina DeMour would not want to ever go even next to me on the same street, not to mention the main party for the whole school life, I just was not at that time in that place.
I forgot my textbook in algebra, and at recess I had to go back for him. There I found Tina and Curtis, they loudly swore, she waved a hand, and he told her to calm down. I decided to just quickly take your book and leave, until I noticed, and that's when I almost left the room, Tina suddenly said, "Well, go to that slut! I'm not going to any prom!" For anybody not a secret that Curtis is periodically fucked with Hayley Gibbs.
«Well, that will show up at the prom alone?» asked Curtis, and I saw Tina's cheeks turned pink. Of course, what could be worse than to come to the prom alone. It seems funny but when you're eighteen, and before the end of school was only one month, there is nothing more important than prom.
And then Tina looked at me and said, «I'll go with him!». Curtis initially laughed, but when they realized that dear not joking, he spat on the floor and quickly left the room, hurt hurting my shoulder, and I was left alone with the hottest girl in school, and my palms began to sweat.
«Find tuxedo decently and try not to look like a Scarecrow» – threw me Tina and also went out. And then I realized – I'm going to prom with Tina DeMour. Of course, I knew that she only did it to spite Curtis, like such a tough guy as he she traded on this sucker like me, but I'm absolutely not worried about, because Yes, this is Tina DeMour, and she was going to prom with me. Besides, I still didn't have a date.
-Do you have any idea how lucky you are? – do not let the Skittles. – But as for me, you don't deserve it. You don't even know what to do with it! In your place I should be, I know how to treat a lady.
-That's why you go to prom with bespectacled Susie from a brass band? – I asked.
-Well, – said a Skeet. But maybe after the ball she play the pipe in my pipe...
I laughed. Skittles was unbearable.
Actually his name was Charlie, but in the sixth class he threw up right on the lesson of literature in front of everyone. I don't know what he had for breakfast, but his vomit has had a very strange color. Someone said, "our Charlie pukes a rainbow" and since then, the nickname Skittles firmly rooted to him, and we know she's with him for life.
Skittles was terribly vulgar and could twenty-four hours a day to talk about pussy and kamasutra, it's disgusting just playing Xbox and decided that he is worth, he will not go to College a virgin. But, it seems that all the girls of our school have agreed, because who would Skeeth nor drove, the answer was always the same: "yeah, I'm with you lie down in bed, and you're going to puke on me". Seriously, school is a scary place. Once you mess up, and you will never forget.
In general, Skittles was just as loser as I am. Maybe that's why we became friends. We're complete losers, and this unites us.
-Where are you now? asked Skittles. – I don't want to call me, I will chop the PlayStation.
-I near the house, ' I replied. Sitting on his wheelbarrow.
-OK, we all understand that you have got a car and you're a cool guy, but, dude, come on, it's not even new, it is already someone went!– prayed Skittles.
I just laughed because the three of us I was the only one who had a car, and I never ceased to remind them about it. Yes, supported and a bit worn, but mine!
-I can't come, parents waiting at home, ' I said. – Call Keith, maybe he will come.
-This asshole fun with my girlfriend.
Keith was the only one of us who was a girl. That is not a desperate attempt not to be left without a date to prom – as I had with Tina DeMour and bespectacled Skeet with Susie and the real girl they had been Dating for three months. She was
pretty cute and very sociable, played the guitar and was preparing for admission to a good Institute. We Skeet had no idea what she found in Keith, but he was crazy about her and holding her like a treasure. This is not surprising, he did not find.
So, it was us. I, Skittles and Keith. Three desperate loser.
Skittles muttered something about the fact that we are all devious bastards,
said goodbye until tomorrow and passed out. I was again left in silence. The first day of may came to an end, and I enjoyed the warm wind, thinking that in a month I'll be out of school.
-Dude, you have a napkin or something ?
turned around and saw that about my car is some guy and carefully examines his t-shirt.
-You turn to me? – hesitantly I asked.
-Do you see anyone else here? he looked at me like I was stupid.
-Uh, no, uh... Frank?
-Oh,- he was surprised. – Do you know me?
Of course. Who does not know the legendary Frank Iero. Magic tricks, which he constantly threw, was known to everyone in school. This guy is just a celebrity.
I heard that once he came in the morning from home to school, and instead drove off in the car his father to California and hung out there for three days forty three bucks. And I someone told me that one night he climbed into our city Park, found there a water-filled pool and swam in it directly into clothing, while at dawn it is not caught by the security guard.
Said that this guy was a drug addict. I didn't know whether it's true or not, but there were rumors that someone saw him in the toilet puking blood. In any case, this guy was not all right, because no normal person will not come back at night to swim in the water Park.
-Yes, we learn from you at school,- I said.
-Really? – he indifferently shrugged his shoulders. – I don't remember you.
Of course. All knew Frank Iero, but the Frank Iero didn't know anyone. I looked at him. He was short in stature, very pale and skinny, and it actually kind of confirms the idea that he is taking drugs. On his neck was a tattoo of a scorpion in the lip gleamed the ring, and long black bangs constantly falling in his eyes. I was never with him so close. First, because I've never stood so close to him and secondly, he seldom went to school, so I know it was him.
He suddenly coughed, and I realized that it is something I have asked and waited for an answer. I continued to stare. He was just weird. Everything in my life was laid out on shelves: Skittles and Keith – my friends, Tina dear sexy, but lousy, the big boys from school sometimes bullied me, an album of drawings you need to always keep to himself, my brother Mikey the moron parents are annoying, but I love them. It was all orderly, familiar and ordinary, but he was somehow wrong, hurt his eyes as big troubled spot. He knocked out all systems, and he was nowhere, he was something new, fresh and intimidating.
-Dude, you have a napkin or not?! – irritably asked Frank, and I finally heard it.
-No... no, I don't have, I said, why do you ask?
-Yes, I just...
-Here it is! Get him!
I heard a rough male voice and saw from the opposite end of the street us run two cops. I knew I did nothing but panic and fear swept over me. I stood still and watched from approaching the police, yet didn't feel a real push in the back and have not heard Frank's voice.
-Quickly get in the car! he shouted, sitting down on the passenger seat. – Quickly get in and start the engine!
Two uniforms were almost there, and I quickly ran to the car, climbed into the cabin, and hit the gas pedal, not even being able to fully close the door. I had no idea what just happened, I just drove on the street the evening clinging firmly to the wheel and Frank beside laughed loudly and shouted something through the open window.
-What the fuck was that?! – I yelled, continuing to push the gas pedal to the floor and nervously looking at the road, feeling like heart is beating in my chest.
-We got away from the cops cheerfully replied Frank, and I noticed that he was fumbling fastened in place despite the fact that I drove too fast.
-Why?! What happened?! Why I ran?!
Frank rolled his eyes and showed his hands, covered in green paint, and the same green spot on his shirt.
-I just painted a monument to Mark Twain in a green color, and the cops I got caught and had to escape, – he explained, – I thought I lost them, and they still found me! Thanks for help, – he grinned, and I decided that he just laughs at me.
-You ruined historical monument?! – I shouted. And got me into this shit?!
-Calm down, irritably, he responded, – I think they can remember your face?
-They could remember the number of my car!
-"Oh," he seemed puzzled - Yes, you're right, they probably did. I muffled groaned and abruptly stopped the car. I wanted to smash the guy's head off, but I was too scared and squeezed, and all that I had is pressed his forehead to the steering wheel and breathe deeply.
-Oh, don't worry, they won't do anything, he said. – Believe me!
-Believe the guy who only does that to get involved in trouble?! – sarcastically I replied. – Oh, well.
He only snorted:
-Behave like a cowardly girl.
-Not true! – cried hysterically I'm really reminding myself the girl. I just don't want any trouble!
Iero sighed heavily and looked at me with pity.
-Yes, Yes, I know – he said casually– you don't want any trouble, so as not to spoil its characteristics, being accepted to College and blah blah blah.
-Yes, – said I, – just, damn it, for that! Because which College accept me with a police report on file?
-"Of course," he sighed tragically. – What could be more important than the
Institute?
-Tha… - I stopped short, realizing that he's mocking me. – Fuck you.
He laughed and said:
-You're so sweet.
-What?!
Iero laughed again, and I felt like a stupid idiot who is bullied, and he just sits and looks at it.
-No, but seriously, he said. – All these «Oh no, I need to go to College, I can't skip school, Oh God, I need to be home by ten p.m. » it's really nice, like you're nine years old, he smiled again.
-Himself-something very old, I snapped.
-Well, at least I'm in good spirits, he smiled.
-Yes... I – I hesitated.
I wanted to say "me too funny", but remembering how to pass my Friday in the company of pizza, vulgar stories of the monastery, forever speaking about his girl whale and consoles, I decided to remain silent.
"Nothing," I said, ' I just can't right now afford to. Here you pass the exams, go to College and then come off.
-Yeah as if! – he yelled, smiling like a sore. – As always!
-How so? I asked in shock, turning away from him.
-In school you think that you first need to go to College, and there you will come off, but at the Institute you're thinking well, sure, only will pass the first session and relax, but then you think better to wait until you graduate, and then you'll be free and be able to break away, but then you go to work, and time again, no, you promised yourself that will come off on Friday, and here you suddenly understand that you're eighty, and you kind of want something to do, Oh Yes, relax, but damn, man, your legs will not hold, and the bladder and then leads you, and you're like, "Oh shit!".
I looked at him as a madman, while he shouted and waved his arm with a perfectly abnormal appearance, smiling broadly, and his eyes reflected the light of street lamps and at this moment, the first day of may Frank Iero in my car looked like absolutely crazy.
-You know what I mean? he asked, peering into my face with his big eyes. – Do you understand?
I smiled wryly and nodded.
-Dude, he made the face with a brick – you have a facial expression like you're now going to shit.
And he laughed again, and I felt like blushing.
-It's all true, – I mumbled, – I know how to have fun, and I'm not delaying it.
-You believe yourself? – he questioningly raised an eyebrow.
I just vaguely mumbled something in response.
He smiled sweetly.
-You know, I have two more weeks, he said. – Want to have fun with me?
-What? With you? Two weeks? To have some fun? What?
-Agree, – Iero again smiled widely, turning to me. – I promise you seven unforgettable adventure!
-What?! – the end confused me.
Iero rolled his eyes and grinned.
-So, – he said, opening the door of my car for two weeks, we will have fun together. But only for two weeks.
-What are you talking about? again I asked, but he already jumped out of the car. – Will we meet again? How?!
-I will find you! he shouted and disappeared behind the trees. I have a few moments of staring to where all a few seconds ago was his silhouette, and then started the engine and completely baffled I went home.
================== ==== ============== first adventure: I never=======================================
The next day I woke up at two in the morning from a loud noise outside the window. Something persistently banged on the glass, and half asleep I thought of the maniacs who steal children at night from their bedrooms. But then I decided that the maniac wouldn't be so careful to knock, so I got out of bed and went to the window.
From behind the glass looked at me pale and happy face Frank. I lifted the latch and gently opened the window in shock staring at Frank Iero, who never talked to me in high school who never noticed me, which I knew a little more than twenty-four hours and who was at my window at two in the morning and non-transferable smiled broadly.
-What are you doing here? – I hissed as quietly as possible.
-It's adventure time! – he screaming, and I panicked shushing him, trying to shut.
-You'll Wake everyone!
-Get dressed!
-Where?!
Frank looked at me wild-eyed, and his smile was so wide that I would have honestly had him asylum, if the clock showed two in the morning, and he wasn't so damn shocked.
-What the hell are you doing here? – I whispered, shivering from the cool night air.
-What – protested Frank, – what about our seven adventures?
-First, I do not agree, and secondly, what day is not?
-No, he answered uncompromisingly.
I rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily.
-You know I'm serious anywhere with you not going?
-You do realize that if you don't come to me, I scream so loud that will Wake up the whole house?
-My parents will call the police.
-I will say that I'm your friend.
-Goat.
He smiled, and I yawn, went to look for his clothes in the dark.
Ten minutes later we were driving in my car through the empty night streets towards the little round-the-clock eatery, because Frank said he wants coffee, and I would not refuse one Cup.
-Today we are going to the zoo, he said, when I parked the car under the dim lamp.
-Yeah, good luck – I yawned, pushing the door of the diner and stepping inside.
-What is this tone? – asked Frank, when the cashier left to fulfill our order: two of doppio with sugar.
-Nothing, I replied, just happy to see how you're going to buy tickets to half past two nights.
We got two drinks, paid and went outside, returning to the car.
-Well... – said Frank, sitting on the seat with the Cup – it is not very illegal entry.
I choked on his coffee and stared in horror at him, for the umpteenth time cursing himself that he go with him somewhere.
-No, – cut I don't even think about. Seriously. We're going home. Now.
-Don't be a coward – just snapped Frank. – Too late to stop. Don't you wanna have some fun?
I hesitantly looked at him. If I wanted to break away? If I wanted to get out of your routine and get away with the craziest guy in school, and then tell everyone about it?
Of course I wanted! But we could catch to take to the police, to put it in a personal matter, and then good-bye PA and all my hopes to go to College.
But if we get caught... – I sighed.
-Let's go! – screamed a joyful Frank.
We got ten minutes, but three minutes we spent on the detour, because Frank said that only complete idiots make illegal entry from the main entrance. And another five minutes we had to go on foot, leave the car too close was too dangerous.
Trying to be as inconspicuous, we walked in complete silence, but I think something got stuck, and Frank and then hissed at me. In the end we came to a high iron fence two meters tall. Frank was of inches shorter than me, but he was able to climb much easier and quieter, because I could not throw my leg and nearly fell on my head.
When I finally sat down next to him, he muttered something about how I'm clumsy, and again we quietly parrales forward. We were at the far end of the zoo, there was overgrown uncut grass, and the cages began only ten meters. Frank went ahead of me, I trailed behind him, getting tangled in the grass and continuing to swear quietly.
The first one we saw was the tigers. Three just terribly scary animals slept in his cage, and sleepily lifted its muzzle, when Frank shone on them as its inexplicable flashlight. Apparently, this guy is thoroughly prepared.
-Are not you afraid that your light will notice? quietly I asked, getting up next to him.
-Gee, look how beautiful they are, whispered Frank, with a delighted smile, watching as a tiger, stretching himself, yawned widely, Baring his huge fangs.
-You that, the zoo was never? – I smiled.
-Nah – answered Frank.
I looked at him in surprise.
-That's why we came here, he said.
I thought all the children ever been to the zoo.
-I'm not all.
I just shrugged and we went on. Of course, not all the animals were in their cages, some of them have withdrawn for the night, but we were able to see different birds, wolf, little meerkats, porcupine and sleeping monkeys. Frank long was detained with his flashlight each enclosure, watching the animals happily and without ceasing to smile, reminiscent of a child.
-You really never been to the zoo? – I asked while we were trying to see the stork in a cage high above our heads.
-Okay, he said, twirling his flashlight in different directions.
Then why are you not just buy the tickets and how all the normal people are gone during the day?
-Well, Frank shrugged, continuing to look up – we must hurry. Suddenly I die tomorrow, and not going to the zoo? Besides – he grinned – so much fun.
-Iron logic, – I muttered, – here it, look!
And in that moment, when we have darted white bird, somewhere came the loud whistle of the guard, who apparently noticed that at the zoo there is someone.
I didn't have time to figure out how somewhere to run over Frank, who was clutching my arm and dragging. We were already at the fence at the end of the zoo, when someone's flashlight shone on us.
-To stand! I said stop!
Frank as fast as the first time climbed to the other side, and horribly frightened, I literally flew over the fence, plopping down on his ass in a mud puddle. But Frank did not give me time to hesitate, grabbing my hand and we quickly ran to the side of the machine, catching curses guard who remained on the other side of the fence.
Gasping, I fell on the hood of the car, spread-eagled star and frantically gulping air while Frank laughed loudly somewhere behind me. I wanted to say that he's just a jerk, but my heart was pounding so I lay still and breathe deeply until the lunatic jumped and rejoiced, not knowing what in the ass almost got us killed.
-Gee, ' he said, still smiling cheerfully, – we have to go, he can call the cops.
-Damn! – I quickly jumped to his feet and got in the car, urging Frank to do the same.
He was still laughing when we left away from the zoo. At first I evil glances at him, but then this situation suddenly started to seem to me very funny, and I smiled, because it was really fun. If I told anyone that I got in a zoo at night, and then ran away from the guard, I would never have believed it. Because it was me, Gerard way, the guy who's never even been late to school. And this is me at four o'clock in the morning with a wet ass drove through the city in the company of a crazy guy who probably was a drug addict.
Frank called me his address and I drove him to the house. We got out of the car, and looking at wet ass of my seat, I noticed how, without even saying goodbye, he went to the porch.
-Hey! – I shouted. – Where are you going?!
-What, do you have any more suggestions for tonight? mockingly he replied.
-But...
-We have six more adventures, I'll come for you!
And he again ran away from me, disappeared somewhere in the darkness, and I remained lost and hopeless.
======================== adventure the second: the cleanest thing in the world ==========================
Two days later at my window knocked again. Frank was a little clueless, because I was preparing for my exam in French, but this time he did not come at two o'clock, and only four nights, and for that I was grateful.
-You know that there is such a thing as the door, and you could Lord, what are you doing here in the rain?!
He was standing in front of my window again, smiled broadly, gathered again me something to draw and he was soaking wet, his face dripping drops of water, and he, God, still smiling, and behind him the pouring rain beat against the asphalt.
-Went for a walk? – happily he asked.
-Now? – stupidly I asked.
-Yeah.
-But it's raining.
-This is why right now.
-My parents are sitting downstairs, I can't go anywhere!
-Get out to me through the window!
What was I supposed to do? The street was pouring rain, my room was warm and dry, Frank Iero was pale, drenched and happy, and I wanted to go with him.
-Can I at least wear a hoodie? I asked, agreeing to whatever he is now, no idea.
-No! – happily replied Frank.
I sighed, opened the window wider and climbed out to him as I was in a thin t-shirt, pajama pants and Slippers, and the cold rain immediately enveloped me from all sides, forcing trembled, but Frank looked so incredible with a happy smile on blue lips that I forgot about everything.
He quickly grabbed my hand and we ran forward through the mist of rain, breaking the puddles on the asphalt, he in sneakers, I'm in sneakers, the drops on my skin was cold, his palm – hot, my room was a lot more of unlearned lessons, and I was free.
I just ran after him, clutching his hand in mine, knowing that this is probably what I so long wanted. I never complained because I never really thought about it. But I ran under cold and fresh rain and realized how dusty, sweaty and muggy was my life. My life was a scorching desert, and Frankie was clean and fresh with rain, and I was holding his hand while he ran, and I have no words escaped him.
He took me to the waterfront, such as cold and completely deserted, and with the same confidence he dragged me straight to the water. I said something, but because of the rain nothing was heard, and he kept on walking and when we were standing waist-deep in the river, he flopped into the water, drenching me with icy wave.
I would have protested, but I was soaking wet, and Frank laughed again, and he again looked stunning... free, and I laughed along with him, too brizgys, and something was screaming, he jumped on me and we both fell into the water.
-Gerard! – shouted Frank, trying to drown the noise of the rain.
-What? – shouted in response I.
He pointed to the side.
-Your sneaker floating away!
He laughed again. I've never seen such genuinely happy people. He finely shook from the cold and continued to jump in the water, bringas and laughing loudly, and it seemed to me that in his children's eyes the color of walnut I saw life itself.
We swam for another ten minutes until the legs are completely numb from the cold, and the rain has not ended. Frank quickly got to the beach, completely soaked, and I got out behind him. And we went back home, engaging in deep puddles and laughing loudly because his shoes squelched funny, I was in one thin, wet slipper.
==================== adventure the third: wash the make-up - there is only despair ========================
-Gee, that was two days ago?
I slammed the fridge and turned to his brother who stood in front of me and with a very serious face chewed toast.
-What do you mean? I asked, grabbing up a piece of bread.
-I saw you left the house in a rainstorm.
-Maybe I wanted to walk.
-Frank Iero.
-Mikey... I seriously gasped.
-Listen, Gee, – he said – about him why not just tell.
-And that each rumor be trusted now? – I snapped.
-Don't start, retorted Mike. – He's weird, he was seen several times vomit blood, he's doing hell knows what. Yes, you can see for yourself what it's like! I don't want you to...
-Know... – I growled. – You...
-Well?
-Suck!
I threw the sandwich on the table, grabbed his backpack from the chair and quickly walked out of the kitchen, catching behind him, "fucking very Mature of you, Gee!".
I power slammed the front door and walked down the asphalt path, wishing that the words of the brother were not true. I was angry not because he climbed in my life, but because he was right. And I desperately didn't want to think that Frank Iero, the guy that made me feel a little happier, not much more than a drug addict. I just like to imagine all these crazy things is he, and not the drugs he takes.
-Hi.
I raised my head and saw that Frank was standing in my driveway of my house, leaning on the door of a shabby old Cadillac and a cute smile.
-What are you doing here? – I asked, coming closer and looking at the car.
-I just today also go to school, ' he replied. Decided to come to you.
-Really? You? To school?
-The dam and get in the car, he chuckled and walked around the Cadillac and getting in the driver's seat.
-Okay, – I agreed, sitting down next to me.
We drove in complete silence. Frank was watching the road, shaking his head to the beat of some pop song from a decrepit radio, and I looked out the window at the bright sunshine the streets and thought about his.
-Frank? I asked after five minutes.
-Yes? – happily he said.
-We drove right turn...
-Really? – he was surprised.
-Yeah...
- Well, okay, maybe we're not quite to school.
-Iero! – I shouted, suddenly realizing that this fucking asshole just cheated me. What the fuck's up?!
He just shrugged, smiled and turned the music louder, turning away from me.
-I ask you, what have you invented?! Fuck, Frank, what's wrong with you! – do not let me, but he pretended that he didn't hear me, you fucking bastard, and I surrendered, leaning back and angrily looking at him.
-Asshole!
We only stayed half an hour, a few hundred miles from home right in front of a huge, new supermarket. It was built a few years and finished just a couple of months ago, and is on it was covered the entire town and covered all local TV.
And why are we here? I asked, looking at the bright building through the windshield.
-«Come on,» I threw Frank and got out of the car, and I, as always, followed him.
What was played in the commercials on TV, did not go to any comparison with what I saw. The higher shelves were like skyscrapers, shelves bursting with all kinds of goods, and the little people, which even at nine in the morning on a weekday there were so many, scurried here and there, from something to something ringing and trucks colliding in the wide aisles. People say that everything is here, but I didn't know that there really has everything from baby diapers to table lamps.
I went and looked around as if was never in stores. But everything really was this big and it was so much that I just could not help myself. I got so carried away that did not notice how Frank is in front of me stopped, and I crashed into him.
-Damn, Frankie, I'm sorry. Um... we came here for the ketchup?
Frank smiled broadly, looking at me and twirling in the hands of the red bottle, which he probably managed to take while I was looking around. I looked around and saw that we were standing in the clothing Department, where there were a few more people.
We came for the ketchup and a new shirt? – ironically I asked.
We came to commit murder. – happily replied Frank, and seizing my hand, he pulled me into one of the two spacious fitting rooms, zadernuv curtain behind us. – Here, give me your hand.
I foolishly held out his hand, and he quickly opened the jar and poured the fucking ketchup directly into my palm!
-What are you doing?! – I screamed in shock, staring at him with his dirty hand, and Frank only smiled and did the same with his hand.
-"Look," he said, and abruptly slammed his hand into the wall of the dressing, holding it down a bit and leaving a blood-red trail, which did indeed look like the real thing.
-What are you doing? – I asked, again smiling at the antics of this guy. Frankie.
-Shut up and do as he said and again put his hand in ketchup.
And I again was nothing left but to do as he said. We left bloody stains on the walls, on the floor, big mirror and did not stop a silly giggle.
"Imagine," puffed Frankie quietly, smiling broadly and chuckling quietly, someone will come and attack.
When we finished, the dressing room looked like the site of a terrible murder. The only thing screwed up is the obvious smell of ketchup, but even with this Frankie did: he just sprayed deodorant everywhere, who also managed to grab in the cosmetics Department. And this mixture of ketchup and deodorant that smelled like there really is someone dismembered.
-Perfectly, – has taken out the verdict I. – But, Frankie...
-We don't get caught, Gee – interrupted Frank. – And if you get caught... we'll run away.
He smiled his sly smile, which clearly read: "I wish you had contacted me, dude, but we're everywhere get out" and I honestly believed him.
With an entirely innocent persons we came out of the dressing room and walked slowly along the shelves with clothes, pretending we're very interested in looking at women's dresses. I was going to get out of this division, as Frank once again pulled on my arm and nodded off to the side. Not far from us near the hanger on which hung a long spring coat, a woman stood and carefully looked at each of them.
-«Come on, » Frankie whispered and bent over, went to her side, and I, as always, not understanding anything, just quietly followed him.
We got to the woman, standing on the other side of the hanger, still squatting so she could not see. I wanted to say something, but Frank put a finger to his lips, and I shut up.
He rose slightly on his feet and, once again, looking at the woman, suddenly whispered:
-Buy me...
I looked puzzled at him and also rose slightly on his feet. The woman in confusion looked around, frowning, and then exhaling again began looking through the coat, looking incredulously at them.
-Buy me... - again whispered Frankie.
She was in shock, he straightened his arms and quickly ran away, hitting a couple of shelves, and I broke down and laughed out loud, looking at the pretty smiling Frankie, who was clearly very proud of himself.
-Frankie, that was-
-AAAAAAAAA!
We and twenty others nearby, turned around sharply on someone's cry, and saw a girl, with terrible screams, running out of the dressing room. We laughed, probably too loudly, because people are very confused. Someone just turned away, pretending nothing happened and continued to consider things, and someone carefully put everything back in place and with a straight face, came out of the Department. And Frankie just laughed, and I honestly expected that we now will be asked to leave the store and never going back to back.
So we partied for a few hours. Frankie dragged me around the store, managing to do a bunch of different shit and go unnoticed. We would exchange milk sausage ball, fancied myself a cool guitar playing on broomsticks, fought on the baguettes as swords, embraced with huge soft toys, I put little notes in different books, twenty-three, no, really, I counted exactly twenty-three times, rode on the escalator and did a lot of things, which ought not to have done. I kind of had to get mad at him because he lied to me, and because of him I got to school, but looking at how he was talking with live fish in the aquarium, I could only think that he is just incredibly handsome when smiling so sincerely.
And then Frank suddenly said we should go because we can start to attract attention. Therefore, taking coke and Oh my gosh, Mentos, he paid and headed for the exit, and I again walked behind him, wondering how in such a small and fragile so vivid and abnormal.
We went outside and stopped right in front of the store. Frank opened a bottle of Cola and putting it on the ground under our feet, looked at me.
-That I've always wanted to try, he said, and then threw three tablets of Mentos and then ran off to the side, and I was confused and remained standing in place, and a powerful fountain soda poured over me from head to toe.
Frankie pressed a hand to her mouth and laughed, people on the street in shock looked at me, and I stood like a moron, and I was dripping Cola.
-Why didn't you move? asked Frankie, looking at the scale of the tragedy and laughing – God, Gee, I'm sorry!
I said nothing, staring at a large foamy puddle around him, and then looked up and met his amused look and smiled back. And I would probably have stood, but Frankie came up to me and, grinning, took my sticky hand and dragged him toward the car.
-What am I gonna do with you? – he lamented, putting me in the passenger seat, despite my protests that I'd get him the car.
-It is unlikely I ever will be useful, ' he said, sitting down next to me and a factory engine.
-What do you mean? I asked, wiping her wet sticky hands on the wet sticky pants.
-Well, drawled Frank, I just leave.
-So you said we only have two weeks?
-Yeah, he nodded.
-Where to go? – I asked.
-Far and forever, – he said.
I just shrugged, the rest of the ride we drove in silence.
Frank drove me home, and when I crawled out of the car, leaving a puddle on the seat, he also came, looking me from head to toe.
-You now lick it, ' said Frank, smiling.
-Just don't do it, – I smiled.
-Well, how much
What?
-I...
-Frank? Frankie? Jesus, Frankie, what's wrong with you?!
I stared in horror at Frank, who, clutching his stomach, keeled over and fell on his knees on the asphalt. He coughed heavily, and I stood there, paralyzed with fear, looking at his trembling shoulders, and didn't know what I need to do. And when I already made the first step towards it, it suddenly threw up blood, and I quickly pulled back.
-I... I'm fine, – he gasped, lifting his head and wiping his mouth with a sleeve.
And I first really saw him. I saw something that was really not what I wanted to see. Frankie was very skinny and pale. Under the eyes, which I admired, took cover dark bruises on his hands clearly were the pale blue of veins under the thin skin, his chapped lips were bitten, and on the fingers and palms everywhere flashed a small scratch. He was dressed all in black, even in such a warm may, and he looked really weak and depressed.
-What are you looking at? he asked, noticing my view – fear that they will die from overdose right in front of your house?
I suddenly felt terribly ashamed of him for thinking that, and I for a moment closed my eyes while taking a deep breath, and when looked back at Frankie, he was standing in front of me, holding on to an open car door, because his legs were trembling.
-"you know," he said, ' when will my funeral, you're in. There are Scorpions , beer and eclairs.
-What are you saying...
-I'll see you later? I will come for you.
And he got in the car, started the engine and drove away – as always – without saying goodbye, leaving a confused and distraught. And I suddenly felt my pain. Because this is the beautiful Frankie Iero was just a drug addict. A drug addict, with whom I desperately wanted to see at least once.
====================adventure the fourth: why'd you bring a shotgun to the party?===== ===================
-You won't believe!
I turned around, shielding his eyes from the blinding sun, and saw quickly walking to me, Skeet.
-What happened? I asked, looking at breathing wrath of the other.
-What happened?! – he shouted. – These monsters poured the first year of PISS!
-What?!
Skeet sat next to me on the bench and threw his briefcase nearby.
-Curtis with his friends? – I asked.
-"Yes," replied Skeet. – They pissed in the bottle and poured it for Tim, Pete and Danny.
-Oh God, are you serious? – I groaned.
The Hermitage didn't have to answer, because at this point we were approached by Tim and plopped down beside us on the grass. He was wet and angry.
-Washed in the toilet and now all day have to walk wet. Goats! it in his pocket.
-And you urine smells – put the Skit.
Tim only made a face.
-Seriously, why do they do it? – continued Smarties.
-Because we allow it to them? – I assumed.
-Damn.
-Hey, what so funny early in the morning?
Terribly happy whale landed on the warm grass next to Tim, and immediately winced.
-What is that smell?
-These freaks poured the first year, urine – answer Skeet.
Sucks – handed Keith.
I wanted to say something, but suddenly noticed on the other end of the school yard of Frank, who smiled and waved back, trying to attract attention. I muttered friends, "see you" and headed in his direction, anticipating and fearing at the same time that he came up with.
-Hey! he said, smiling widely.
-What are you doing here? – immediately I asked.
-I can't come to school? – offended he.
-You?
-Well, okay!
I laughed softly, and Frankie smiled again.
-I will go today to classes, he said.
-Yes?
-Well, just for one lesson. At first.
-Why first? – I asked.
-Because! – important Frank said. Because, firstly, it is English that we're going together, and secondly, because it's a lesson Miller.
I looked incredulously at Frank. Mr. Miller was the meanest teacher in the school. It was harmful, vindictive, he could not agree, the kind of suffering disciples he was getting a strange pleasure, he often gave all flash tests, is not allowed in class late, never late myself, never took a sick leave in General, represented all the sins, which can only be a school teacher. Love him not only students, but teachers, but Miller, it seems, is not a bit worried: he continued to behave like an ass and was quite pleased with himself. And I knew exactly what Frank was up to something bad, going to class to nasty teacher in the world.
-Frank - ' I began, but at that moment we heard the first call, and he waved right in front of me ran off again, not waiting to hear me.
You just Frank Iero talking about?
Smarties and kit stood next to me, looking at the fleeing and Bouncing Iero.
-Whatever, – I gasped.
-Here even do not want to know – said Keith, come to class.
I sat down at his usual spot and immediately saw Frank, who sat at the next Desk, calm, ready for the lesson and satisfied.
Exactly with the second call to the class included Miller, and all was quiet. We were "Pride and prejudice" and I just could not believe that on the exam I have to write an essay on this girly novel.
-Look who decided to grace us with his presence today! – happily said the Miller, looking at Frank with his trademark look, as always looking at someone when you felt a new victim. Mr. Iero!
I thought he shouldn't have done that in vain he even looked at him, but to my surprise...
-Hello, Mr. Miller, is quite friendly answered Frank. – Happy to be on your lesson.
-And I'm glad to see, ' growled the Miller, and turned back to the Board.
Everyone smiled. We knew that Miller deliberately provoke Frank, he always did. Hurt the students, they were angry, snapped, and he had a great reason for punishment.
I looked at Frank, smiling.
-The best way to deal with goats – it's polite, - he whispered.
It took thirty minutes of the lesson. All was quiet, Miller talked about the composition of the novel, we listened and was writing something, and then this happened.
Frank suddenly pushed back his chair, rose, and under the surprised looks he climbed on to the Desk. Towering over all, he with a triumphant smile and looked around the class, and then looking straight into the eyes of shocked Mr. Miller and showing a finger at him, said loudly:
- Someone kill the DJ, shoot the fucking DJ
Voices in my head are saying
"Shoot that fucker down"
And then he just jumped down, grabbed the portfolio and, laughing happily, ran out of room, leaving your textbook, twenty-five of the shocked students and perfect confused Miller.
We in silent shock staring at the door, trying to figure out what it was. Some are also puzzled looked at each other and Miller would often blink, and his glasses askew on the bridge of his nose.
And we laughed. This crazy bastard looked so uncomfortable that we just could not resist. Always be strict with stupid smug smile, he looked like a small child who has been deprived of candy, and we were loudly laughing at him, banging his fists on the desks and fell to the floor, because that asshole deserved it.
After the lesson I found Frank in the school yard, sitting at the dining table and sipping a coke.
-Dude, you made a happy twenty-five people at once! I shouted, flying to him and sitting down close by. – God, you're incredible!
-I also have made a revolution!
He smiled, and the sun was in his happy nut eyes, while I looked at him, alive and present.
-I just wanted to do something before you leave.
-Relocation and all that? – I asked.
-"Yes," he replied.
-Okay, let's go to your next class? I said, rising from the bench.
-I will not go, ' said Frank.
-Why?
He slyly smiled.
-I said – one lesson. I never come to school.
-What about the diploma?! – I exclaimed.
-But who needs it – waved Frank. – I have better things to do diploma.
I paused.
-We have three more adventure. I will come for you.
He stood up and walked away from the school, in the side of the road, and I suddenly realized that one of those fourteen days that we had left only five. And it seemed to me that five is desperate enough to forever say goodbye to Frank Iero.
=============================== adventure five: «yes» =========================================
Frank showed up two days later on Sunday. I lay on the bed and was reading when he knocked at my window. The dial showed three in the afternoon and it was quiet and Sunny day in may.
I opened the window, and Frank immediately got into the room and plopped down on my bed.
-Hey, – I said.
-You know what I come up with? – conspiratorially he said, smiling widely.
-Obviously, no, – I smiled, sitting down next to him.
-Today I declare the day "Y e s!" happily he declared, looking me in the eye.
-And that means...
-And this means that today we are going to say "Yes"!
-Awesome idea – without enthusiasm, handed it to me.
-I don't like your attitude, frowning, said Frank.
-I just don't see anything cool, – I said – every day I many times say "Yes."
-And how many times you say "no"?
I paused, gazing at Frank.
-I bet "No," you say more than "Yes"? – frowning, he asked. – Look, – he stood up, Gerard Way, will you go right now in this pajamas with a Bunny to ride on my motorcycle?
I stared blankly at my pyjamas with rabbits, thinking that he's serious and offers me direct access to her on the street. I looked at him with a pleading look, but met only with an unwavering commitment to do that.
-Apparently, Yes... I gasped.
Ten minutes later, we raced on a crazy motorcycle through the Sunny streets and dusty roads, Frank in torn jeans, me in my pajamas and my baby rabbits waving in the wind. I firmly pressed against the back of Frank, hugging his waist, and he gripped the steering wheel and loudly shouted, as we swept past the astonished passers-by.
-Gerard! – he shouted, trying to shout over the wind noise in my ears.
-What?! – as loud I shouted.
-We now go to the store, buy some chips with ice cream and eat it!
-Yeah!
We stopped at a supermarket. The cashier looked strangely at us, the crazy guy in the helmet and his friend in his pajamas. On the street we quickly found a seat and sat down comfortably, opened a bag of chips.
I honestly never could imagine that ice cream and chips is so delicious. Frank just laughed at me while I greedily dipped chips in ice cream and sent it in his mouth.
-Iero, you're my life through the ass, ' I said, licking a finger.
I'll take that as a compliment, – he grinned.
Right now I'll draw you a mustache of ice cream, and you won't even think to resist!
-Uh... Yes... – Frank agreed, glancing at me in surprise.
I drew him a mustache, which in this warm sun drained him on the chin, and then laughed, looking at how he tried to lick it.
-Nice going, asshole,- said Frank, pushing me in the side.
We wandered around town, laughing and forcing to do each other silly things. I was just in shock when I found out how happy it can make people simple word "Yes." When we were walking in a public Park, we were approached by an elderly little woman with cardboard box on which was written "the needs of persons with disabilities", and without even thinking, Frankie replied in unison "Yes" and gave her all the money that was in our pockets. And happy face of this little woman was priceless, but even more I was pleased that after that the rest of the people nearby are similarly approached and threw a couple of dollars in a battered cardboard box.
-Sing to me? – asked Frank, when we sat on a bench and watched the slowly setting sun.
- «Yes», I answered quietly.
I sang to him about what was important. On someone's smile and someone's eyes, someone by the ears in love with life. About happiness from one meeting, about how little time is left and how someone will be someone insufferable to get bored. Frank laid his head on my shoulder and quietly listened, and I was sure he understood everything.
-You have beautiful eyes, g he said when I finished. – Do you know what green means?
- «No»,- I replied.
-Is the color of hope.
We said goodbye when it was eleven. He again told me «bye» and ran away in the most unexpected moment, and I quietly went home, thinking only about the fact that we only have three days and two adventures.
======================== sixth adventure: are you ready to feel this revenge?========== ==================
-Hi, Gee.
I turned around and saw a smiling Frank.
-What are you doing here?
-Walk.
-At ten at night?
-Yes.
-Frankie...
-Okay! he rolled his eyes and smiled even wider. – I came for you, because today we have an important mission!
I slammed the hood of his car, wiped his hands on a rag and looked back at Frank in front of him. A dead bulb under the ceiling lights a little, but I still was able to notice that since we last met, he began to look paler and weaker.
I was already agree on everything.
-What are you thinking?
-I heard those cool goats poured the first year urine? he asked.
-And... yeah.
-I also heard that the house in Brittany, the dumb brunette, the party is today.
-Frankie... – I moaned.
-I haven't said anything yet! – protested Frankie. But Yes, you right, – he smiled, – we will sneak into this party, we find Curtis and his cronies that did it and a few bucks for them to drink a laxative to these freaks remember forever, where you need to go to the toilet!
I did not smile, because, seriously, it was genius.
-How do we get there? We were not invited.
-Yes, they are all a long time ago in shit, they won't even notice – dismissed Frank.
-Again you drag me into some shit, ' I said.
- «Yes», bluntly replied he.
I had to refuse. To go home and go to bed, because tomorrow have to be up early, but after ten minutes I found myself in his car, speeding through the formal living streets.
I looked at him. He looked tired and haggard. And beautiful. Not just a man with a beautiful face, just beautiful. Beautiful completely beautiful in every way, beautiful inside and out, absolutely beautiful in everything: face, smile, breath, thoughts, eyes, feelings, actions, voice, torn jeans, his universe.
I could be with him forever. The look in his hazel eyes, to touch his hand and inhale his scent – the smell of fruity shampoo, mint gum and may. I wish I could just be with him.
-We came, – suddenly said Frank.
I shuddered at his voice, shook his head and looked out the window. We were standing in the driveway of a house, from which came the sound of tearing the ears of music and loud voices.
-«Yeah,» I replied.
- All right? – he asked worried.
-Yes. Yes, he did.
We got out of the car. I didn't know what to do next, but Frank took me by the hand and confidently headed for the porch. The door was not locked and we entered.
Inside it was stuffy, crowded, and stank of sweat and beer. People jostled each other and laughed loudly, on the couch, I noticed the passionate couple in the room, someone puked in a vase, and at one point it seemed to me that among this crowd I lost Frank, but my fingers immediately clutched a hand, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
We pushed our way between the sweaty bodies until he reached the kitchen and found it Curtis. He was so drunk that I'm surprised he's still on his feet. Frank let go of my hand, leaving me to wait in the doorway, approached Curtis from behind and threw in his Cup, which he was holding in hands two laxative pills. Curtis not only protested, he did not notice that someone is, and I again marveled at the stupidity of this moron. Frank deftly snuck back to me, and, again holding hands, we went back into the living room to find the others.
It really was fun. Throw the remaining tablets was easy, because these guys was really drunk and wasn't thinking straight. Especially funny happened with Tom Robbins, because he believed that Frankie gives him the drugs, voluntarily put two laxative pills in his mouth.
Taking from a table a bowl of chips, we got back on the street, and I took a deep breath, feeling fresh air, beer instead of sweaty stink. I smiled when I heard next to me giggling quietly to Frankie.
-He took it for the drugs, – he gasped, – what a dumbass.
We laughed softly in the cool night air. I felt calm and good. It seemed to me that now the whole universe came to a standstill to give me this moment alone with Frank Iero, I thought that the whole world is only we two and nothing more.
And then we sat in the car listening to the radio and eating stolen chips. Frank shook his head to the beat of some song, and I looked out the window and felt him close.
-When do you leave? – I asked.
-At the end of the month, he said.
-Okay, - I said.
Of course, he didn't say goodbye, quickly fleeing into the darkness as soon as he dropped me off at the house, and again I looked after him, falling into despair just the thought that as soon as will end this may, I never will not see it.
=============== adventure seven: at the sunset of this world the last thing I'll see will be you =================
The clock was eleven, when my window is tapped. Our last adventure.
-«Hi», - panted Frank, as he climbed up to my room and holding something in his hands.
-«Hi», -I replied, taking away his big paper bag, so it was easier to climb.
-Phew, – he gasped, when firmly stood on his feet.
-What do you think for today? I asked, eyeing the envelope. – We will go somewhere?
"No," answered Frank, taking from me an envelope and walking into the middle of the room, you have player?
-And...yeah.
-Great.
He took off his shoes, leaving them under my Desk, then walked over to the bed and dumped all of the contents of the envelope on it. It turned out to be the discs. A bunch of regular CD's in thin paper packages without signatures.
-Today we are going to listen to the music, he said, choosing a single disc in a pale blue packaging – put.
-Really? Just listen to the music?
-Yes. Put.
I did as he said. Once I finished messing around with the player, Frank immediately turned off the light and climbed into my bed.
-«Come here», he whispered.
The speakers began to play A Great Big World – Say Something. I walked over to the bed and sat gingerly next to him.
We lay side by side, not touching each other, and looked into the darkness in front of him. And it was so weird and so wonderful just to listen to music, lying beside him in the dark, while the world is left somewhere outside. I felt it with every inch of his body, heard his breathing through the quiet music in the dark. I felt its warmth, our fingers almost touch, and my heart was beating so fast and I could barely control my breathing only because he was so close.
I frantically gasped and felt my palms sweating. He was too beautiful, too beautiful, too close, he was just too in order that I might not go crazy.
I turned to the side, placing his hands behind his head and looked at him. His eyes were opened, he was staring blankly into the void, and in the dark I could see that he looks too serious.
-Do you have to go? quietly I asked.
He sighed, also turning onto his side to face me.
-Yes, – he said quietly.
-You can't stay?
He touched his fingers to my cheek, gently stroking it and I leaned towards the touch, because I wanted to.
-I would like, – he whispered, – but I can't.
I put my hand on his waist, pulling closer to him, and he quietly gasped when our faces got very close. I needed to feel him as close as possible, to get enough of its heat before it would run away and leave me alone.
-You smell of coffee, – he said.
«You may smell like» – I thought.
======================================= Where are you? ==========================================
The next morning I woke up to a horrible alarm bells. Reaching to the nightstand and turning off the monster, I suddenly realized I was alone. Frankie was not.
I quickly turned back, under the table, missing shoes. It was not anywhere. The only thing left of him is a pile of discs on the floor and the smell of his hair on my pillow.
I groaned, again pulling on the bed, and covering head with blanket. He always left without saying goodbye.
The door to my room opened, and seemed on the verge of the mother, cheerful and happy.
-Good morning! happily she sang, parting the curtain. – Come on, time to get up.
-What is the fun? – I reluctantly muttered.
-Remember that awful tedious business in which we engaged a few months? We finally finished it. Now I have two weeks of vacation.
-Congratulations.
-Get up, breakfast is on the table, she patted me on the cheek and left, leaving the door open, and I, unhappy, but smiling, got out of bed.
On the way to school I thought about what happened last night. Now I knew for sure – I won't let him leave. I will fall at his feet, locked up in his room, drop everything and go after him, but I will not let him go. Because it is the only thing that made me feel alive. Because Frank Iero was the most incredible person ever, and I just couldn't just let him go.
I didn't know why he left. But it's Frank. He could leave because he was waiting for a parent or because he so suddenly wanted. But I was sure that he will come back. Because he liked it, too. I heard that, I felt it. Maybe he needed time to think? Maybe he'll decide not to leave me? It could be anything. I knew that soon he will come again to me.
You won't believe!
I ran towards the happy whale Skeet, waving his arms and swearing loudly, and I even could not imagine what had happened.
-You won't believe, -said Skeet, gasping,' it - appened!
-What? I asked, smiling.
We sat down on a free bench in the school yard. It was still early, the people only tightened, and the bright sun was shining straight into my eyes.
-Recently Brittany had a party, there were all the cool guys and know what happened – almost going to squeak babbled Skeet, CURTIS FORSTER REACHED THE TOILET AND PUT HIS PANTS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!
He and Keith could not stand and loudly neighing, I'm in shock staring at the two of them.
-Are you serious? – I asked. – Oh my God!
We laughed clutching my stomach, and I just couldn't believe that it's true. Here it is. Retribution.
-Say that to him, someone slipped a laxative – squeezed Keith.
-Mmm, he said in response to me, again bursting into laughter.
The yard slowly filled with students. The three of us collapsed on the bench and silently basked under the warm sun, and everyone thought that it's the day. When the evil got what he deserved. It was so weird because we never believed that this day actually ever comes.
But Frank came in and everyone in the world suddenly became possible.
It was one of the most fun school days over the past few years. We spent the whole day laughing and having fun, even the lessons and upcoming exams for the first time was not a burden. We started talking out loud, not shy and not afraid, especially the first years it was fun and the guys from the orchestra, over which Curtis abused the most. It was one of those rare days in which I'm really gonna miss when permanently out of school.
I was hoping that when I get back from school I find a note from him or something like that. But there was nothing. The same empty room, which I left in the morning, and nothing happened.
======================================== say something =======================================
It's been more than a week, and he still did not appear. I honestly tried not to think about the fact that he could leave and not say goodbye, but just the thought that I will never see again, threw in a cold sweat.
I didn't believe he could do this to me, but nevertheless, at eight in the morning on Friday instead of being in school, I went to the house of Frank, and my heart was pounding.
I opened the door very thin and pale woman. Her eyes were reddened, and in her hands she clutched a white handkerchief.
-Mrs. Iero? – excited, I asked.
-«Yes,» she replied gently, smiling warmly.
-I... I'm a friend of Frank.
-«Oh, » again she kindly smiled on me – you came to Express their condolences?
-W-what?
For a moment she seemed surprised, but then her features softened, as if she remembered something, and Mrs. Iero smiled again, sad and motherly and with a drop of sympathy.
-You must be Gerard, - she said softly.
-«Yes,» - I replied, refusing to accept what was right in front of me.
Frankie said you can go. He said to go up to his room, there is a letter for you.
-Where? – I swallowed loudly.
-Second floor, third door.
I rushed past her into the hallway, up the stairs, my shoes, without asking permission, but she didn't even called me.
Taking a deep breath, I walked into his room, closing the door behind him, and immediately the noise of the houses and streets gave way to a soft silence, filled with the smell of mint gum, fruit shampoo and may. On a small writing table was a white envelope. With trembling hands I took the letter, and my gaze fell to his uneven handwriting.
It was worse than the pain.
The world has collapsed.
Leukemia.
Light squeezed the hot air.
He died.
Clenched in the hands of the letter, I ran out of the room, knocking something on the way, flew past Mrs. Iero, get out of this house into the fresh air, to breathe, I needed to breathe.
He died.
I ran without feeling. I stumbled, fell, scratched, climbed and ran again. I didn't believe. It's not true.
I ran to an empty house, throwing his bag into the wall and dropping the chairs. I had to do something. I had to do something with myself. I went crazy, I cried and cried because I couldn't do anything, I wanted to go somewhere, to do something, only to find it, just look at him, just touch him, just at least know that somewhere in this world is Frank Iero.
I broke plates, vase, broke off the pillow, I screamed and begged, and he did not appear. I was crying and scratching at the wall, and he still didn't come to me, I haven't seen it, I felt it, I didn't know where he is, I couldn't find it. I had, I had to find it, I wanted to do something, but I just cried and cried, clutching my stomach from the burning pain inside because I didn't believe it and felt it.
I punched the floor, but the fucking world does not return it to me. I tore and broke, all that was me, but I was still alone.
He could not, I thought.
He's not dead, I thought.
But it was not.
========================================= Sunday================================================
I was hiding under a blanket. Came mom to ask if I was okay. I said all right and asked her to leave.
========================================= Monday ==============================================
I had to go to school because it was the first day of exams. When I returned home, I again went to bed and stayed there until the next morning.
======================================= == Tuesday ==============================================
I lied that I have a stomach ache and did not go to school. All day I lay alone and remembered what it was now so clear.
« Suddenly I die tomorrow, and not going to the zoo? »
« I'm just leaving »
« Far and forever »
« I just wanted to do something before you leave »
« Can't you stay?
-I would, but I can't. »
==================================== ==== Wednesday ============================================
I passed the English exam. Mom said that I can no longer refuse to eat. I had to eat.
======================================== Thursday =============================================
Called Keith and Skittles. I didn't pick up.
========================================= Friday ===============================================
Mikey brought me a new comic book. He said they were all worried about me. I said that all is well
==================================== Never again ===============================================
Keith and Skittles came to my house.
-Gerard.
-Yes?
-Is everything all right?
-Of course.
I had to get out of bed, take a shower and wear a tuxedo. It was prom night.
I received my diploma. The people around were bright and happy. Tina DeMour came with Curtis and didn't even look at me. I knew from the beginning that it will.
I thought that this day will be the happiest in my life. I thought that I would be eternally happy with his friends, but instead, the most important day of his entire teenage life I was slowly died, sitting on the dirty ground of the city cemetery next to his grave.
I was supposed to be the normal teenager, with normal problems, I was to have suffer because of girls and eat pizza with friends, but he came, and everything just went to hell. You can't do that, not cool to change a person's entire life, and then to leave it forever, leaving him alone.
He was so close and so far away at the same time. Just three metres below me, but I couldn't touch it. He lay there, dead and motionless, and I was crying on a marble slab, and he could not comfort me. Couldn't call me by my name. Could not smile, could not again me something to interfere, couldn't hug my shoulders. Never again.
======================================= thirty-first========================================
- Gerard?
- Yes, fathers?
- I can enter?
- Of course.
He quietly passed to my room and sat down on edge of a bed, and I lay under a blanket and waited that he will tell.
- Gerard, – he began, – we know that something happened. I won't ask you about anything. I just want to ask something.
- What?
- Don't turn away from us.
I heaved a deep sigh.
- You don't understand.
- Don't think so, – he told. – We with mother lived enough to understand.
- It is hurt.
- We understand it too.
I was silent.
- What there was, you can't carry out eternity under a blanket.
- It is a pity.
- We will always support you.
Without having waited for my answer, he got up and left, closing behind himself a door, and I pulled out the head from under a blanket and stared in a wall before myself. It was right. I couldn't lie eternity here, I couldn't turn away from a family, but just sometimes it seemed to me that my heart it was necessary to lie there, on Frank's grave, and all I wanted, to climb under a bed and to cry as the small child.
It was the last day of May.
========== the future never dies ==========
There came June. I still wasn't as it should be, but after all could get out from under a blanket. I very much missed it.
I went to Mrs. Iero. I apologized to it for that time when I so quickly ran away from her house. She told that she isn't angry with me at all, and then suggested me to remain on tea. We long talked to her about Frank. I told it about all our adventures, having decided that now she will hardly become angry, and she smiled and smiled through tears. She is a good woman.
I was in Frank's room. Mrs. Iero allowed me to rise there and told that I can be there so much how many for me it is necessary. I took myself his black t-shirt with the capital white letter "S", one photo where he in this t-shirt sits on a floor with a guitar, having crossed legs, and happily smiles, and then long lay on a bed and inhaled its smell.
Days went one by one. After final I still few times saw Keith and Skittles. We went to a pizzeria, at first they tried to find out what is with me, but I only waved away and further chewed the pizza. Eventually, they chucked in this business, and any more never asked me about anything, stirred about the things, and I always sat next, listened to them and felt a little better.
I told all to parents. I thought, they have the right to know. Because I am their child. I saw how it was painful to Mrs. Iero when she was left without Frank. I didn't want that mine mother and the father were left without me.
And therefore I told them about everything. About all our adventures of a trick, how I fell in love with him and as I lost him. They listened to me, without interrupting, only occasionally nodding. When I finished, they didn't begin to abuse me for the fact that in two weeks I broke the law more, than for all the life. They didn't tell anything on the fact that I fell in love with the boy. They strong embraced me and told that everything obligatory will be good. I believed them.
So there passed my summer. I something was engaged, prepared for college, read comics from the Undershirt, got out in a pizzeria with guys, listened to Frank's disks, drew the whole nights, sitting in his t-shirt, and just tried to be as it should be.
I many times re-read his letter, trying to find there something new that I didn't notice earlier, but words remained just words. But I continued to read because when I held it in hand, it was near me again. I saw his lovely smile between lines and heard his silent laughter behind the shoulder.
I already reconciled to the fact that it doesn't exist any more, but sometimes when I walked on warm evening streets, it seemed to me that now it will appear because of turn and will tell that it was only the joke and now we can always be together. But nothing occurred, and I went further, representing that once on this road also it in the same way went, and from these thoughts I smiled.
I many times wanted to return back, to live once again those moments of May, but June was replaced July, July August, and I still was here.
And there passed my summer.
Now the thirty first of August and in seven hours there will come the fall. I rush in the car on roads of the State of New Jersey and the last summer sun sees off me to New York. I spat to Pennsylvania and was admitted to school of visual arts because I wanted it.
I still not as it should be, but at me something am. I have the whole world and millions of chances to be happy every day. And I move further.
My bags with things shiver on a back seat because the luggage carrier is filled with jars with fruit shampoo. In the player one of its disks turns, and nearby on passenger sitting its photo and the letter lies. And I… And I move further.
« Dear Gerard,
I'm sorry to tell you this, but I couldn't bear your pity, so I have no other choice. I have a leukemia. And I dying. I am so sorry.
It is very strange that to me only seventeen and I already raw up a will. Though I have not so many things which I could give and also not so many people who would need it. If to think, this is only my mother and you.
I left her my guitar and a lot of things, although it is a bit silly, it would and it so stay with her.
And you I bequeath my collection of disks, a Scorpions t-shirt and the whole world.
I spent for you two last weeks of the life. Make so that it wasn't vain.
Please, be happy.
I always am near somewhere.
Frank »