Disclaimer: I do not own Ao Oni or any of its characters; truthfully I don't know who does. But it belongs to them I guess.
The Day I Went to a Mansion on the Outskirts of Town
So anyway, I was just strolling down the ebonics when I encountered my own house. Well to be accurate, this was a house that recently acquired for very low prices, although the real estate agents wouldn't tell me why. Due to her insubordination, I smacked her so viscously with a trout to kill all of her testes and bought (AKA STOLE LOLALOZ) the hut for free. FIVE FINGAH DISCOUNT, USTEDES!
And I lived happily ever after, AS IFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Regardless, I shattered the front door of the hell hole but I found no one there. FOREVER ALONE? In an act of pure blinding brilliance I decided to follow the dense smear of blood and phlegm to its origin. I followed the trail, making sure to lick up all of the evidence so that I wasn't followed, to a room. It was obviously unlocked so I licked my lips and thanked the LORD for my meal and walked to opposite direction. I took out gasoline and a match from between my two belly buttons and walked to the front door. I was feeling quite chilly and desperately alone so I decided to burn the hut to the ground.
"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH LLLAAAAUUUUURRRRDDDDDYYYYY MEEEEEE" screamed someone from inside the house.
…..,.OH yea, I am writing a fanfiction.
Sooooooo I drank the remaining gasoline and used the match to clean the phlegm off of my teeth but it sparked due to the grit of years without dental hygiene. With my mouth completely aflame, I calmly walked through the wall, through the studs and dry wall to see a white haired old man standing above the body of a decapitated girl. He turned to me in shock and said, "Hello there." I saw nothing wrong with the sight in front of me and punched the dementedly drawn blond man with my foot.
He was knocked out for so long that I forgot that he was alive. I was going to punch the old man as well because his Hapsburg chin was making me boil. As I prepared my metatarsals, the closet door slammed open, revealing a Large BLUE man.
I LOVE BLUE! I ran to embrace the beautiful creature but was stopped by a GINGER. He confessed his love for the thing and embraced the creature first. That ginger pansy was devoured by the creature so I knew that OUR love was to be.
I walked erratically to caress my new lover before its giant blue face fell off with a loud "AAAAUUUGGGHHH". Underneath the giant face was in fact….!%$!&^$^
TO BE CONTINUED IN THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF GOSSIP GIRL…
Underneath the giant face was the white haired old man or boy or something. He looked embarrassed and had the blood of the ginger smeared across his face. I said that it was no big THANG and left the house.
I looked nostalgically at the mansion as I regurgitated all of the gasoline from earlier and set it on fire with my fire breath (remember that? From earlier? LAWL) I walked away into the breeze with the euphonious sound of two screaming white haired man boys in the house. Then I barfed.
THE END
Charaters:
GINGER: TAKURO
GIRL: MIKA
BLOND: TAKESHI
OLDMAN: HIROSHI (2x)
BLUE THING: AO ONI (aka Hiroshi)