Ever since I heard this song on the radio for the first time, all I could think was that it would make a great Dave/Em story. But no matter how I tried to work it in my head, it refused to cooperate. So, last night on the way home from work, the song came on again and I really listened to the words. The result was this story. It's another introspective on Dave's thoughts as he battles with the right thing to do versus what he should do.
I don't own Criminal Minds.
Song prompt: "Tomorrow" by Chris Young
Tomorrow
He had been around the block a few times and God knew he had spent more than his fair share of time in the candy store. He had had the best…and the worst when it came to women and relationships. But the one thing he had learned was when to walk away.
Like now.
It wasn't that he didn't love her; he was no good for her. He had tried to be everything for her, and there were times he was thankful for the ability to spin a good story, but even he couldn't make a lie last forever. Once she found out the real man who lay beneath the façade, she was going to be out the door just as fast as all the others. This time, he wanted to be the first one out the door.
Rolling over on his side, he stared out the window at the moonless sky.
He had never planned on having a relationship ever again. Not with a co-worker. Not with her. Not with anyone. He had been burned too many times and had decided that the bachelor's life was for him. No strings. No personals. No broken hearts.
Then he met her.
Long dark hair, doe shaped eyes, and a smile that weaved straight around his heart before he could figure out what was happening. He was sucked in the moment her hand touched his. So small. So warm. So perfect. Just like her.
He tried to avoid her, but the more he was around her, the more he wanted to know her every secret, every dream...her everything. Long plane rides and drives helped him gather what he wanted to know. Late nights in diners in the middle of nowhere sharing the last slice of apple pie and day old coffee let him see a side of her that even she probably didn't know existed. And when Father Jimmy told him to watch out and protect her, his sense of duty kicked in. And sometime during that case, he felt himself falling in love.
Real hard-core love.
For the first time in his life he was experiencing what he had only written about. And it scared him to the core. He didn't want to screw it up, so he ignored it. He pushed it down and pretended that it didn't exist. Until that night she invited him in for coffee.
Coffee was the last thing on his mind as he gathered her in his arms and kissed her with all the passion that had been building up for so long. Hungrily his hands roamed her body and melded it to his. He wanted her to feel the desire that threatened to destroy them both if he decided to cross that line. He wanted her to know that if he crossed the line, there was no going back.
Instead of being afraid, she had touched him. Gently, at first, then more boldly her fingers stroked him. She wanted him as much as he wanted her…if that was possible. Carrying her upstairs, he had made love to her until he could no longer think straight.
Sprawled out beside her, he tried to catch his breath. She was perfect. Much too perfect for a guy like him. It was all he could do not to run out the door, but he wanted to stay. He hoped that it was all a dream. Maybe then he could walk away.
But he was addicted.
Every time he tried to leave, something made him turn around and give it another chance. They rubbed each other the wrong way. She got under his skin and he got on her last nerve. She challenged him and pushed him, while he pushed back and Emily'd her. They were like scotch and 7-Up. Two drinks that were perfect by themselves and should never be mixed…no matter how tempting.
It had been a year since they got together. They had been careful not to let on to the others that there was something going on after the cases were done. Careful had been his middle name…except for that one moment when he let his guard down and put his arm around her when they were flying into Alaska. But he hadn't let it happen again, and the team had soon forgotten his faux pas.
But she hadn't. She wanted more. She wanted everything from him. And she had confronted him with it. She was tired of being led on.
The greedy part of him agreed with her that they could have it all. All he had to do was say yes and they could live happily ever after. Until she got tired of him and walked away. Just like all the others who couldn't handle that the myth had clay feet.
So, he started to tell her that they were over. But as he went to say the words, she looked up at him with those big brown eyes and he lost his train of thought. Pulling her to him, he had kissed her senseless and then made love to her on the living room floor.
His last thought was to leave before she woke up. Then he passed out.
So it began: she wanted more, he made love to her. It was a give/take that was slowly killing him because he knew that he was just leading her on. She deserved so much better than a broken down old womanizing fool like him. So, he made a vow to tell her tomorrow that he was leaving.
But he got side-tracked by life and crime and tomorrow became a week, then two, and then a month. It was always there in the back of his mind to tell her. He had it worked out how he was going to let her down. He knew exactly how to word it so she didn't take it the wrong way. He didn't want to see her cry.
At least that was what he had planned. And then she touched him. Feather soft kisses along his jaw line and the expert touches that always had him ready to finish what she started.
Carrying her upstairs, he took his time and undressed her slowly. Then he kissed every single inch of her body. He wanted to memorize and burn her image into his mind so he could bring it up on nights when lonely wanted to be his best friend.
As he took her over the edge, he knew he had made the right decision to walk away…until she arched her hips and took him deeper than he had ever been with her or any woman. Intertwining his fingers with hers, he looked straight in her eyes as he poured himself into her.
Holding her close, he held her until she fell asleep. He listened to her breathing and felt her heartbeat. Slow and steady. Oh how he wanted to listen to that heartbeat for the rest of his life. But he couldn't. He had to leave.
Then she whispered his name in her sleep and that's all it took to change his mind.
Rolling over, he took her in his arms and held her tight. Burying his face in her hair, he breathed in her scent. Closing his eyes, he drifted off as the realization hit him: he had missed his chance. Again.
But, there was always tomorrow.
