In the Mourning.
A/N: I was watching the GSR videos I have on my iphone, lying in bed this morning, 'cause I was too lazy to get up. i got to the part with Sara's letter, and there was a moment at the very end, on Grissom's face that just made me want to do this.
So this is just a short fic on Gil's first thoughts after reading the letter :D
Hope you all enjoy!
-xx
Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine, unfortunately, I am just borrowing them as my puooets to play with for a while.
xxx
Gone?
Gone where?
My eyes scanned back over the letter. She didn't say.
She didn't say anything. Why didn't she tell me?
Of course, I had noticed the change in her demanour. She had become a little quieter, more withdrawn.
I put it down to Natalie. She gave me no other reason to believe it was something else.
God dammit, Sara!
I could have helped her, if she had told me. If she had to get away from Vegas, I would have went with her.
But..
Did she want me to?
She didn't say where she was going, she didn't give any clue. She hadn't told me, she hadn't asked me to come with her.
I blindly reached for my cellphone in my pocket, flipping it open and hitting speedial number one.
It didn't even ring, it went straight to voicemail.
"Hey, Sara Sidle here.."
I couldn't listen to anymore. Her voice sent shivers that were almost painful through my body.
My fingers touched my lips, where I could still feel them tingling from when she kissed me.
A kiss goodbye, I now realised.
I should have went after her then! I knew there was something wrong with her, she would never do that unless there wasn't. There was a look in her eyes that practically screamed come after me, Gil. Why was I too blind to notice?
Numbly, I wandered through the hallway, to the locker room, glad for a moment I came in contact with nobody.
I stood still on front of her locker. Part of me wished this was a joke, some cruel joke, that maybe she was hiding in the locker room somewhere, and would jump out at me.
I allowed my eyes to scan over the room, and felt my heart fall. I knew there was no chance of that happening. i felt it deep inside, she was gone.
What had I done? I had done everything I could to try and help he get through what Natalie did to her.
I should have noticed more after she interrogated Hannah.
Shakily, I reached out to her locker, allowing the door to creak open.
A picture was the first thing that caught my eye, a picture of us. I tore my eyes away from it, feeling them burning with tears that I furiously blinked back.
The anger I had initially felt had melted away, and there was nothing left but raw pain.
Her vest was still there, I took it out. Maybe I was imagining things, but it still felt warm.
Where her name should have been, it read 'good luck'.
I needed more than good luck.
I needed Sara.
I loved her, more than I had ever loved anyone else.
I knew she was the one for me.
I had built up a life with her, we had our routines. How could I return to our home, knowing she wouldn't be there, knowing I would be on my own?
Why did she do this? I could have helped her, somehow. I would have gone with her, we could have been together.
That thought once again brought me back to the decision that she didn't want me to be with her, and that was why she didn't give any hints as to where she was.
Sitting back on the bench, I pulled her vest close to me, allowing her scent to surround me. My fingers absently stroked over where her surname should have been.
She removed her name just like she had removed herself from my life.
A single tear slid down my cheek, I wiped it away before I stood back up, putting her vest back inside her locker.
Her last words rang in my ears, as if she had spoken them to me, 'Know that you are my one and only, I will miss you with every beat of my heart.'
"I miss you too, Sara.. I love you.." I heard the words leave my lips before I even knew they were going to.
There was nothing I could do. I wanted her to be happy, no matter what the cost. She couldn't be happy here. Happy with me.
With that final thought I closed her locker, taking a deep breath.
The show must go on.
I left the locker room, slipping out into the hallway. Walking slowly, I met Hodges walking towards me with a brown file in his hands.
"Are those my tox results?"
xxx
A/N: So a little CSI fix for ya'll on an early Saturday morning. Might not be exactly what ya'll want to read, but I have something else coming up that I'm sure you all will ;)
Keep an eye out :D
Even more importantly, review :D If you love Griss, if you love Sara, you will do this for them :D And of course, for little old me, who loves reading your reviews.
Hope you all enjoyed!
-xx