Aversion through Nightmare
AUTHOR NOTES: I didn't a fanfic in a while because of time, life, and such. However, I just felt like writing one today. I'm not gonna be writing for a while though; busy with life and stuff. This is just a oneshot for now, and it's just the way I view Makoto as. I wanna play the game, but I can't read goddamn Japanese, nor do I have the damn resources to buy this friggin game _ I wanna try playing these type of games to see how it's like, damnit. Too bad Days of Memories is also unreadable to my eyes…
Also, before reading, this fanfic is a neutral one that is not intended to ship anyone. I'll leave it at that.
Anyways, read and enjoy. Also, instead of a disclaimer, I'll just say that I own nothing. Easier for me.
Aversion through Nightmare
"…What a nightmare. There's no way I could even think about doing that."
My name is Ito Makoto. I'm just an ordinary high school student who takes a train to school. Recently, on my boring everyday trips to school, I've had something to look forward to.
Katsura Kotonoha.
The only thing I knew about her was that she's in a class next to mine and her name. A little after I started high school, I noticed that she rides the same train as me.
Over time, I started to really care about her.
Then, I had these nightmares.
A nightmares where I managed to go out with her thanks to my childhood friend, Saionji Sekai, but I threw her aside for Saionji. Then, everything spiraled out of control; I started to have sex with several other girls, such as Otome, Setsuna, and even girls that I wasn't too acquainted with, such as Obuchi Minami, Koizumi Natsumi, and Mori Kumi. Eventually, I paid for it with my life…
I had even more of these disturbing dreams, where Saionji kills Katsura-san after Katsura-san tried to kill Saionji and I took the hit, some that involved Katsura-san jumping off a cliff, and some that involved gruesome train deaths…
After those dreams, I stopped looking at my cell phone during class. I continued to live my boring life behind my headphones, listening to my music on my headphones. Everything went on as it was normally, I guess. It's been a week or so since I had those nightmares…
But I'm still the gutless, naïve kid I was before I had the dreams, I guess. I still can't keep a straight face around other people and I'm still teased by Taisuke. However, I've been talking to Saionji less and I've been averting my usual staring at Katsura-san.
"Ito!"
I jerked back from my seat and blinked twice before coming back to reality.
"Saionji…" It was my childhood friend who always loved to tease me. I haven't been talking with her that frequently, always using the bathroom as an excuse to skip out on lunchtime to go somewhere quiet. It gets worse sometimes when I almost bump into Katsura-san, although I think she doesn't notice me anyways.
"Will you stop spacing out and listen to our conversation? You've been doing that a lot lately." Saionji told me with a frowning face. I realized that along with Saionji, Taisuke, Setsuna, Nanami, and Hikaru were having a conversation about plans to do for the summer, since summer vacation was almost coming up.
"Ah…sorry about that. I was just thinking about some stuff." I replied with a fake smile. However, everyone seemed to see through me easily.
"You alright man? You've been spacing out lately. I think you missed half the stuff we were talking about our plans for the summer." Taisuke told me.
"I'm alright. I've been getting less sleep lately thanks to nightmares." I replied with a nervous smile.
"What kinds of dreams?" Setsuna asked, with a quiet voice as usual.
"Uhh…" I didn't want to answer the question, since I don't think it's healthy to tell your friends that you've been having dreams of cheating on a girl whose classroom is located next to yours with Saionji. It just wouldn't make any sense.
"I have to go pee." I bluntly said while getting up, which made Saionji do a double take, but not before slapping me on the back.
"Sheesh, Ito, don't you know anything about modesty?" Saionji asked me with a smirk.
"Haha, I think so. I'll be right back." I replied with a slight smile and left the classroom.
"I wonder what's up with Makoto lately. He's been going to the bathroom every single day whenever we're starting to talk about stuff." Taisuke told the group with a sigh.
"Maybe it has something to do with the dream? He's been sleeping in class a bit more than usual lately." Nanami suggested.
"Hmm…" Sekai muttered. She looked displeased…almost frustrated, which didn't go unnoticed by everyone.
"Thinking about Makoto again?" Taisuke asked with a smug grin.
"D-don't be stupid!" Sekai replied, throwing an apple at him while turning red in the face. Everyone within the group only snickered at this response.
"Still, I wonder if Ito is alright…" Setsuna muttered.
I've been slowly blocking out everyone from my life, I guess. Maybe it's because I'm scared. Maybe it's because those dreams felt a bit too real for comfort. Maybe it's because I feel that Saionji could really have feelings for me…that's ridiculous, right? We're only friends. Besides, several people like her and even confessed to her.
I can't even look at girls anymore. Just thinking about what I could have done…and when I thought about it, I could have done all of that, and I probably couldn't prevent it. I feel sick when thinking about it…
"Hey, did you hear?"
"What?"
"They say that if you take a picture of the person you like and set it as your wallpaper, and nobody else finds it for three weeks, your dream will come true."
That rumor…sometimes I hope it's true. I can't bear to change my wallpaper because of that. But at the same time, I think it's just a myth. Life's too complex for things to come true because of a picture in a cell phone.
I passed by Katsura-san's classroom; she seemed to be eating by herself. I wonder if she was alright. I hope the part in the dream with those three girls, Obuchi, Koizumi, and Mori, really didn't bully Katsura-san…
My life feels dull now. I feel that a part of me is missing. I still wonder if distancing myself from Saionji and the others is the right thing to do…but it's hard for me to look at everyone. For all I know, it could have been a stupid dream.
Still, I feel pretty horrible right now. I'll need some time to think before I even think about wanting a girlfriend. For now, I'll just remain in my own world behind my headphones…
Well, that's pretty much how Makoto seems like to me at first. He only starts being a jerk in the anime when things got awkward, while the manga sees him as just an indecisive, yet well-meaning kid, and it stays pretty consistent throughout the 12 chapters.
Well, that's all for today.