Some post 4-4 angst. I couldn't get this idea out of my head so I had to throw it down and write something.

He awoke entangled in his sheets with sweat clinging to his forehead as he panted, reliving the horrible nightmare he'd been unlucky enough to have. Again. Slowly he rose from the pillow, his long blond hair draped across his shoulder in the loose drill curl he'd taken to styling. It was becoming more of a burden every day since that trial. The trial that had happened over a month ago. The trial he should have been over by now. He wasn't.

Mein bruder...Will I never escape you? Klavier slowly crawled out of bed, checking his clock to see it hadn't even struck 4am. Another early morning then. Though did it even count as getting up if he'd only settled down a couple of hours ago? He exhaled, lazily walking to the bathroom to turn on the shower. Now he was awake he may as well get on with the case he'd been given, almost forcibly. It was the first case since that trial and he wasn't exactly in the right place to be prosecuting a serial killer, but he wanted to prove to himself he was capable of handling it.

Fuck, he couldn't do it. He just didn't have the vigour nor the want to deal with anything right now. What have you done to me? Even imprisoned where you belong you're plaguing me when I sleep and wake. The hot water felt like heaven against his clammy skin, cleansing away the sweat that still clung to him. Am I ever going to be free of this? Free of him? Klavier sighed, running his fingers through his soaked hair, despising how it readily sat to one side of his head, always ready to be curled and styled in that oh so perfect way his brother had liked it.

It sickened him now, how his hair just seemed to fall like that. Maybe it was time for a change, maybe that would stop the nightmares. He could hope right? Break the last thread that connected him to his brother, bar his last name but he could change that too, wipe the slate clean. He turned the water off, leaning his back against the cool tiles as he slid down to sit on the floor. Only I can change myself. I have nobody to turn to any more, not even Apollo. I can't burden him with this, he's helped me so much already...It wouldn't be fair.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, scrunching his eyes shut as he lost himself in thoughts of his brother, back to when he thought the world of him, thought he knew him for who he really was. It was becoming clear to him now he'd never known the truth, Kristoph had lied to him from day one about everything, and he'd believed every word he'd been told, every lie he'd been fed. I was so naïve...So damn stupid! I should have known...Should have seen...

Obvious wet trails were forming down his cheeks as his thoughts grew deeper, stretching back to when they were young. Klavier didn't like to remember those times, when they were happy, it made all of this more painful for him. I should visit you, ask you why you did all of this. Why you used me, deceived Apollo and cost Phoenix his career. Though you wouldn't give me an answer would you? You would just tell me "mein kleiner bruder should keep his nose out of my business" like you did back then. I was a fool to accept that as an answer for everything. You were all I had left, sure I had my band, my friends and my fame...But you were my family.

I have no family now. He was sobbing softly now, thankful he was alone for nobody to hear how pathetic he was, not that anybody should care any more. You ruined everything...And I let you. I fucking let you! Klavier slammed his head back against the wall, letting out all of his pent out frustration in a wail, giving into the tears that fell from his usually bright blue eyes, his emotion consuming him as he openly cried.

After what seemed like an age, Klavier swallowed his sobs and moved to stand up, grabbing his towel as he got out of the shower, wiping the tears from his face before draping it around his waist. Normally the first thing he would do is look in the mirror, smile at himself and style his hair. Not today. He glanced at his clock, noting it was now almost 5:30am. I lost myself for a while, but that's all right. This won't happen again.

Flipping the light on as he entered the kitchen, Klavier rummaged in one of the drawers until he found some scissors, running his finger along the inside of them to see how sharp they were. He tutted as he felt a sharp sting, blood welling in the cut across his digit. That'll do for this. He doesn't deserve anything fancy. He lapped at the blood trickling down his finger, wincing at the taste, shuddering suddenly as he realised that was something Kristoph would have done and probably enjoyed. He could probably sample blood the way one would taste test fine wines.

Clutching the scissors, he returned to the bathroom, facing himself in the mirror with a blank expression, his eyes darting to how his hair still hung over his left shoulder, already primed to be styled into the drill curl. He slowly combed his fingers through it, grasping hold of the bottom in a tight grip, his heart racing in his chest as it hammered against his ribs. This is it. This is the end of this Kristoph...Mein bruder...The end of you.

The first cut was the hardest. Yet the feeling that gripped him as the hair dropped from his hold and onto the floor was indescribable. Again...I have to...Again...It has to go. The second cut was less controlled, after all that was the whole problem right? Kristoph's control. That needed to go. The third, fourth and fifth cuts were venomous, Klavier imagined he was cutting the ties that bound them together. "The end...This is the end. Mein bruder I am no longer yours!"

The scissors clattered to the floor after the final cut, landing in the built up pile of blond strands that covered the tiles. Klavier was panting heavily, feeling tears form in his eyes once more, running uncontrollably down his face, falling on top of the pile on the floor. Am I free now? Is that it..? Is he gone from me? He looked at himself in the mirror, a shaking hand gripping the shoulder length mess he'd just made.

It's gone...I've cut it...It's gone and that means he is gone too right? He smiled. Though it wasn't one of his usual boyish smirks, like the ones he did for fans. It was one that reminded him of the very man whose memory he'd just tried to destroy. "You'll never leave me will you..?" He started to laugh. A dark, twisted laugh that echoed his brother's, ringing around the room, filling his head along with the chilling sounds of Kristoph's voice.

No. You're under my control and you will remain to be so until you die. You will never break free of this, mein kleiner bruder.

Now clean up the mess you've made, you're pathetic.

END