I am proud of myself for writing this, I really am. Usually I don't finish a chapter in one night, and here I am writing the whole damn thing.
Rated M for Hidan's potty mouth of potty, tiny spoon of yuri and YAOI to come.
I am writing this while I have an unfinished KH story is because no-one has even seen the KH story, so no-one will mind if the chapter is late.
Please rate and review. XXX
All Naruto belongs to Kishimoto, a great man.
Enjoy.
"Say, will a truthful man lie to prove he is honest?"
"...that's a darn confusing question. What's it supposed to be, a riddle or something?"
Through two elevators and two flights of stairs, going to room 478 and here you will find this conversation in progress, one man in stitches the other blue.
Literally.
"No, it's an actual question I'm asking you" The blue skinned man said, shaking his glass along with its alcholic substance.
The man with dark brown skin frowned, tapping the chair's arm with his index finger. Thinking over a question like this sent the mind in circles, and Kakuzu wanted his mind in no state of madness.
He brushed non existant dirt from both his shoulders, grabbing his black briefcase from his side and walked to the door on the other side of the room; only considering his work employee when he had the door knob firmly in his grasp.
"Tomorrow we will meet with Pein, he leads the Akatsuki company. This guy will not be pushed with cash alone, we need to look as if we have the balls to take on this project. Got it Kisame?"
"Yeh, see you tomorrow"
With the silent click the room was once again empty, a typical hotel room filled with things edged with gold, paintings that matched the wallpaper, and towels placed at every doorway.
For convience.
Kisame sighed, this hotel room gave him nothing but convience. As if he was an infant, special cuts on the peanut packets so he would not rush for scissors when his fingers failed at the stubborn plastic.
It made him want to puke.
Walking around the room twice and he finished his drink, noticing himself in the mirror that sat on the back of the cupboard door. His suit was all boxed and made his jaw look more square than round. Black hair streaked with royal blue was cut, not too long but still hid his ears and forehead from view. An unpleasant tone to his skin as if he'd recently died in a rather cold area of the supermarket. He had that shark charm to him that made him seem like the kind of person you wouldn't want to get trapped in an elevator with.
Kisame leaned forward to the mirror, pulling down the small bags under his eyes and examing his pupils that shone an unnatural shade of cobalt blue.
It was always the same thought he had ever since he was a child.
Why the fuck are my eyes so blue?
It wasn't a bad thing, but it had never been a good thing either.
The only woman he could sweep off their feet are the ones he saw for a moment, simply in the street or in a line for coffee at Starbucks.
No relationships for Kisame, only a love life with a string of whores attacted to a red head's little finger.
Sasori no Danna.
A friend who he had called amany lonely nights to send him someone to toy with.
Girl or guy, he would make them shriek.
From pleasure and occasionally, remembering one poor unfortunate girl with short blue hair and white contacts running from the room screaming as her fear of sharks kicked in.
Kisame was tempted to call his neutral friend, but decided against it.
The man was never patient, and a conversation that hung you next to a phone cable didn't seem like an act Sasori would commit to.
As bored as Satan himself, Kisame grabbed the television remote and dived onto the patterned couch, sighing once again as he channel surfed mindlessly.
Ads for dishwashing detergent, products that will get rid of grey hair, a vacumn cleaner that will clean in those places that you can't reach even when you stick your ass in the air.
Advertising, it was becoming a Big Brother obsessed with consumption.
The blue man worked in a high rank business where even Kisame himself knew nothing about what they did, he only knew about persuading snobby businessmen with a single smile laced with threats of beatings in a back alley.
In every work that made you wear a suit too tight for your broad shoulders, you began to learn that the world would eventually become a slave for consumption, New Media and other shit Apple decides to invent that is totally pointless yet completely necessary to survive.
The business man stopped as he found a sight that made him grin. Two girls, one with pink hair the other with blond, tongue fucking each other while in lingerie that could be found in any discount basket.
They moaned and screamed and begged to be treated like the whores they were.
He was turned on, but only slightly. The porn itself was completely grotestque, he'd always had an itch about cheap porn but this was plain sad.
Crappy lighting with the camera man's lunchbox sitting on the chair next to a massive dildo, it made the blue man giggle ferociously.
Being rich made you snobby, even with porn.
"If you're going to make porn, make it something worth watching" Kisame muttered, turning off the TV and letting his slight erection pass.
He walked around the room again, lying on the bed then realizing he wasn't tired. Strutting to the curtains and tearing them open, Toyko city faced him like a sexy oyster.
The place where his mother was born and he'd partially lived, Japan was a nice rest stop for a business man with no home.
Well he had a home, a million dollar apartment with a view of something he didn't have the time to remember.
All the fluroesant lights began to twinkle and Toyko tower was hiding timidly behind tall skyscrapers, lpeople now put on their cybergoth headsets as night approached with the orange sunset.
"I'm going to buy an apartment here, ma" The man said to his dead mother that he assumed was in the room with him.
"No actually. A little tea house, like the ones you always told me about, with the tiny cups and little handles. I'll make some tea and serve it to my neighbours. They might be morons but then again, they might not be. You'd like that, won't you ma?"
The phone beganing ringing, Kisame was pulled from his one sided conversation and glared at the phone in hate. Grabbing it in a grip of iron he growled a greeting.
"Hey Blue Man"
Hidan. Co-worker and complete asshole was on the other line, along with several other people in the room trying to get into the conversation.
"What the Hell do you want and how did you get this number?"
"It's on the fucking piece of paper we got in the hotel room, shithead..."
"Oh ok. Say, will a truthful man lie to prove he is honest-"
"Don't you start with your riddles, fucking shark meat!" The man spat "Anyway, how's the Akatsuki shit going along?"
"We're meeting Kakuzu tomorrow to go to a meeting with Pein"
Hidan scoffed.
"When are we meeting Stitchy?"
Hidan saw it fit to name everybody with a name that when screamed down a hallway, the victim would instantly cringe.
Kisame began playing with some pebbles on the coffee table, each said a word. 'Calm', 'Happiness' and 'Love'.
"Eight o'clock"
The pebble that said Calm was placed on its face and spun until it was a dark blur.
"Fuck me, that's early!"
"Well they're early people, I guess"
Leaving the phone for a moment, the hunk of rock saying love was hurled out the window by a blue hand with absolute disgust.
All that remained unharmed from the trio was happiness.
"Japanese people get up way too fucking early. I mean, the bitch with the towels went around the rooms at six in the morning! SIX! Who the fuck is even alive at six?"
"Hey Hidan?"
"Yeh, what?"
"There is penis in happiness. Do you like happiness?"
"No, but I know you do"
"What?-"
"Nothing"
There was giggling on the other end of the phone, shushing and the slam of a door; footsteps steadily heading up a stairway to Room 478.
Hidan chuckled and said "Hey Sharky, I never thanked you for the Konaha Project you fucked over. That was some good shit, you left that white haired bastard a mess"
Kisame felt the pit of his stomach grumble, knowing that if the bastard thanked him he was really about to pull a move over him.
"Um... no problem?"
"No really. So tonight it's my treat"
"What are you talking about-"
Three steady knocks, perfectly timed with the phone conversation that made it no coincidence.
"Enjoy"
He was gone, a steady beep on the other line. Kisame assured this gift was no blessing, rather a thorn in the ass sent by the devil two floors down.
Without both collegues he despised, and a mother whose ghost never existed by his side, the blue man went to the door. Stupidly missing the eyehole, he opened the door to it's full extent.
I wonder who the fuck is at the door?
Three guesses who.
Enjoy, and please R & R. XX It helps me with my writing so much. X