The Not-So-Great Escape
Chapter 1 - Detention
OK, people, this is my first ever fanfic, so sorry if it's a little rusty. OK, spoiler time... I did not create any of the characters or places used in this fic. They were all created by J. K. Rowling. Also, I wrote this before reading book five (OotP), but set in their 5th year, so don't worry if you haven't read it yet! ^________________^
It was lunchtime on Friday, and Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting at the Gryffindor table eating pizza. "Oh no!" said Ron thickly, through a mouthful of cheese. "What's wrong?" asked Hermione, giving his hand a discreet squeeze under the table. "Harry forgot to go to his detention!" replied Ron. "You know, for splashing Malfoy with invisibility potion in potions last week!" Hermione laughed at the memory of Malfoy walking around with a hole in his head. "Shit!" said Harry "We've got potions next! Snape's gonna kill me!" "Ummm. skive it?" suggested Ron. "No way, that's too obvious. He'll guess in a second. I'd better turn up to the lesson."
"Class dismissed!" Snape's voice rang out through the dungeon. "Except you, Potter! You can stay behind!" he snarled. "Don't bother waiting for me," said Harry gloomily "He'll keep me here all night, the mood he's in." "Okay, see you in the common room later then?" Harry nodded. He went up to Snape's desk, as Hermione and Ron left rather hurriedly. Rather more hurriedly, in Harry's opinion, than usual. He wondered why they were in such a rush. "Potter!" shouted Snape "Here! I want all these tables scrubbed spotless! Now!" he shouted, throwing a cloth and a bottle of Mrs. Skowers' all- purpose magical mess remover at Harry, who caught them and started to work, cursing Snape under his breath. He wondered, for about the hundredth time, why his dad had actually saved his life.
"Ron!" shouted Hermione. "Harry's slaving away in the dungeons and all you can think about is sex!" "But Hermione..." Ron whined, wondering briefly why they were having this argument in the middle of a packed common room while everyone was staring at them. "Ooh, Hermione, are you having an affair with Harry?!" said Lavender Brown gleefully. Hermione turned round and slapped her before dragging Ron off to somewhere more private. (A/N: For the record, she was not.)
About two agonising hours later, all of the desks in the dungeon were spotless and Snape had fallen asleep. Harry tried, and failed to wake him before exiting the dungeon. Or at least, tried to exit it. The door wouldn't budge. As the thought of being locked in a dungeon with Professor Snape was not his idea of fun, Harry decided not to try and wake him up until he woke up himself, by which time the door might have unlocked. Unfortunately, three hours later, Harry had done all of his homework and was so bored that he had counted all of the stones in the walls (twice) and how many times Snape snored in one minute (five times). He counted 3,792 stones and eighteen snores. He was extremely bored and was just on the point of dropping off himself when Snape woke up and swore loudly at the pool of dribble he had his arm in. Harry snapped back to full consciousness at once at the sound of a human voice. "Potter! Why didn't you wake me up?!" shouted Snape "And why haven't you left yet? It's." he consulted a large clock on the wall "Bloody Hell! It's half past eight!" "I tried, Professor, but you were fast asleep" Harry explained. "And the door is locked or something." "We'll soon see about that." grumbled Snape, who got to his feet and tried in vain to open the door. He took a key from his pocket and tried to unlock it, but the key wouldn't go in. "Peeves!" he roared "putting chewing gum in the locks again!" He let out an annoyed sort of scream/roar thing, shouting "Why?! WHY?! WHY MUST I BE LOCKED IN THE DUNGEONS OF THIS SCHOOL WITH POTTER?!!!" Harry managed to remain calm.
Meanwhile, Ron was actually starting to worry about Harry. "D'you think we should go down to the dungeons and see what's happened to him?" he asked Hermione, worriedly. "Oh, so now you've decided to give a toss about your best friend!" Hermione shouted at him. "Took you long enough! Just like how it took you four years to notice I was a girl!" "That was a joke, Hermione!" Said Ron, exasperatedly. When was she going to let that drop? Hermione always argued with him more when she was stressed. "Um. maybe Snape really is keeping him there all night?" "Maybe." said Hermione. Ron noticed she had tears in her eyes. He put a comforting arm around her shoulder, and she gave a small smile.
Down in the dungeons, it was nearing 9:00 pm and Harry made a suggestion which he knew would enrage Snape, but he was bored. "Why don't we play truth or dare, Professor?" Snape looked at him with the expression he usually saved for first years who dared to answer him back. Ignoring the massive grin on Harry's face, he said very softly "No." "But I'm bored!" Harry complained. It was true, he had started counting the stones again and was halfway round the room when he had remembered the game of the previous Christmas. "Potter," Snape chose his words carefully, staring at Harry for his reaction, "I don't think you and I have ever really. sat down together and talked, have we?" He studied Harry's face very carefully. He saw a mixture of surprise, apprehension and wonder. "Erm. I don't really know what you mean, Professor." said Harry, deciding the apprehension was the best feeling for this situation, and wondering how to get out of it. "Oh, you know perfectly well what I mean, Potter!" snapped the teacher. "A." he seemed to be struggling to say the word. ".Heart-to-heart?" Harry decided he definitely DID NOT want a heart-to-heart with Snape. But, he was bored, and the only other option was to try and count every single greasy strand of hair on his teacher's head, so he reluctantly agreed. "OK" he said, cursing his own mouth for agreeing and Peeves for getting him into this mess in the first place.
Hermione and Ron had forgotten about Harry. They were far too busy to think about things like that.
Chapter 1 - Detention
OK, people, this is my first ever fanfic, so sorry if it's a little rusty. OK, spoiler time... I did not create any of the characters or places used in this fic. They were all created by J. K. Rowling. Also, I wrote this before reading book five (OotP), but set in their 5th year, so don't worry if you haven't read it yet! ^________________^
It was lunchtime on Friday, and Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting at the Gryffindor table eating pizza. "Oh no!" said Ron thickly, through a mouthful of cheese. "What's wrong?" asked Hermione, giving his hand a discreet squeeze under the table. "Harry forgot to go to his detention!" replied Ron. "You know, for splashing Malfoy with invisibility potion in potions last week!" Hermione laughed at the memory of Malfoy walking around with a hole in his head. "Shit!" said Harry "We've got potions next! Snape's gonna kill me!" "Ummm. skive it?" suggested Ron. "No way, that's too obvious. He'll guess in a second. I'd better turn up to the lesson."
"Class dismissed!" Snape's voice rang out through the dungeon. "Except you, Potter! You can stay behind!" he snarled. "Don't bother waiting for me," said Harry gloomily "He'll keep me here all night, the mood he's in." "Okay, see you in the common room later then?" Harry nodded. He went up to Snape's desk, as Hermione and Ron left rather hurriedly. Rather more hurriedly, in Harry's opinion, than usual. He wondered why they were in such a rush. "Potter!" shouted Snape "Here! I want all these tables scrubbed spotless! Now!" he shouted, throwing a cloth and a bottle of Mrs. Skowers' all- purpose magical mess remover at Harry, who caught them and started to work, cursing Snape under his breath. He wondered, for about the hundredth time, why his dad had actually saved his life.
"Ron!" shouted Hermione. "Harry's slaving away in the dungeons and all you can think about is sex!" "But Hermione..." Ron whined, wondering briefly why they were having this argument in the middle of a packed common room while everyone was staring at them. "Ooh, Hermione, are you having an affair with Harry?!" said Lavender Brown gleefully. Hermione turned round and slapped her before dragging Ron off to somewhere more private. (A/N: For the record, she was not.)
About two agonising hours later, all of the desks in the dungeon were spotless and Snape had fallen asleep. Harry tried, and failed to wake him before exiting the dungeon. Or at least, tried to exit it. The door wouldn't budge. As the thought of being locked in a dungeon with Professor Snape was not his idea of fun, Harry decided not to try and wake him up until he woke up himself, by which time the door might have unlocked. Unfortunately, three hours later, Harry had done all of his homework and was so bored that he had counted all of the stones in the walls (twice) and how many times Snape snored in one minute (five times). He counted 3,792 stones and eighteen snores. He was extremely bored and was just on the point of dropping off himself when Snape woke up and swore loudly at the pool of dribble he had his arm in. Harry snapped back to full consciousness at once at the sound of a human voice. "Potter! Why didn't you wake me up?!" shouted Snape "And why haven't you left yet? It's." he consulted a large clock on the wall "Bloody Hell! It's half past eight!" "I tried, Professor, but you were fast asleep" Harry explained. "And the door is locked or something." "We'll soon see about that." grumbled Snape, who got to his feet and tried in vain to open the door. He took a key from his pocket and tried to unlock it, but the key wouldn't go in. "Peeves!" he roared "putting chewing gum in the locks again!" He let out an annoyed sort of scream/roar thing, shouting "Why?! WHY?! WHY MUST I BE LOCKED IN THE DUNGEONS OF THIS SCHOOL WITH POTTER?!!!" Harry managed to remain calm.
Meanwhile, Ron was actually starting to worry about Harry. "D'you think we should go down to the dungeons and see what's happened to him?" he asked Hermione, worriedly. "Oh, so now you've decided to give a toss about your best friend!" Hermione shouted at him. "Took you long enough! Just like how it took you four years to notice I was a girl!" "That was a joke, Hermione!" Said Ron, exasperatedly. When was she going to let that drop? Hermione always argued with him more when she was stressed. "Um. maybe Snape really is keeping him there all night?" "Maybe." said Hermione. Ron noticed she had tears in her eyes. He put a comforting arm around her shoulder, and she gave a small smile.
Down in the dungeons, it was nearing 9:00 pm and Harry made a suggestion which he knew would enrage Snape, but he was bored. "Why don't we play truth or dare, Professor?" Snape looked at him with the expression he usually saved for first years who dared to answer him back. Ignoring the massive grin on Harry's face, he said very softly "No." "But I'm bored!" Harry complained. It was true, he had started counting the stones again and was halfway round the room when he had remembered the game of the previous Christmas. "Potter," Snape chose his words carefully, staring at Harry for his reaction, "I don't think you and I have ever really. sat down together and talked, have we?" He studied Harry's face very carefully. He saw a mixture of surprise, apprehension and wonder. "Erm. I don't really know what you mean, Professor." said Harry, deciding the apprehension was the best feeling for this situation, and wondering how to get out of it. "Oh, you know perfectly well what I mean, Potter!" snapped the teacher. "A." he seemed to be struggling to say the word. ".Heart-to-heart?" Harry decided he definitely DID NOT want a heart-to-heart with Snape. But, he was bored, and the only other option was to try and count every single greasy strand of hair on his teacher's head, so he reluctantly agreed. "OK" he said, cursing his own mouth for agreeing and Peeves for getting him into this mess in the first place.
Hermione and Ron had forgotten about Harry. They were far too busy to think about things like that.