Nakushita Kotoba

The things I hold in my two hands

Droplets of time

Gently hold on to your forgotten memories

Your lost words

I'll seal up these feelings inside my heart

"They're lost..."

-

It always woke him up in the middle of the night, when he dreamt it. When he did, he usually got up straight away, because he knew there was no point in trying to go to sleep again. After he dreamt one of those dreams, he couldn't stop thinking about it. Couldn't stop thinking about him. It was as though the dreams somehow released those feelings of his, the feelings he had sealed up inside his heart the moment he acknowledged that they existed. Told him that they existed.

Tonight, it was the same old thing. He woke up, feeling miserable and sweaty. He tore off his night-cap like usual, quickly undressed and went into the shower. It didn't matter that it was only 3 in the morning to him, since he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep again. As usual. For some reason, he had been having dreams more frequent lately, but Naruto had no idea why. It was wearing him out, getting little to no sleep at all, and now when he had missions with Team 7 again he really needed the rest. Naruto made a face as the thought crossed his mind. Team 7… Although Naruto had come to terms with their new member -well, kind of- he still didn't know how to feel about a Team 7 without a… without him. Many thought that Sai was a lot like Sasuke, they even said they looked alike, but Naruto sure as hell couldn't see it. Sai lacked the elegance, the gracefulness that Sasuke mastered perfectly. Sai was rude, and acted like he was superior to Naruto all the time! Well, maybe Sasuke hadn't been much better in that department, but at least he was superior to… a lot more people than Sai was!

"Hah!" Naruto exclaimed loudly to himself, and reached for the shampoo. Yeah, there was no way Sai was better than Sasuke, Sasuke was so much co-. No. Wait a minute. Rewind that thought. Naruto dropped the shampoo bottle in horror as he realized what the end of that sentence would've been. I did not just think that. I did not just think that. Oh, but you did, an evil voice in the back of his head said merciless. Naruto frowned, irritated at the voice, and picked up the shampoo bottle off the floor. Where did those voices come from anyway? That's- that's completely ridiculous! I would never think that Sasuke is… is cool! Although I…. The train of thought died as memories of his dream rose to the surface.

"I really miss him," Naruto whispered, with a heavy sigh. He turned the water on again, as if trying to wash the sudden, painful thoughts and memories away. Why are you always on my mind, Sasuke? Even when I'm sleeping…

The dream was always the same. Naruto was in Konoha, walking on a street with people on either side of it. They were always whispering, nameless faces turning as he walked past them. Then, suddenly, Sasuke would be there, walking in Naruto's direction. Naruto would look up, as if to say something, but the words would always die on his lips, never coming out of his mouth, and Sasuke wouldn't spare him a glance as he walks right past him.

Sometimes, Naruto wouldn't remember much of the dream at all, but he knew that he dreamt it every single time, since there would always be a lingering feeling of coldness in his stomach as he woke. And what was even worse, the restlessness he would feel when thinking of his dream. The thing was, that Naruto had no idea what he was going to say in the dream to Sasuke. Naruto thought, that if he knew what he was going to say to him, the dreams might stop, because it would change the dream. And it felt important to him, somehow, to know those words. Those lost words that always remained unspoken.

When Naruto had finished showering, he went into the kitchen to prepare his usual cup ramen. He looked at the clock, and noted absently that he had been in the shower a whole half an hour. Clearly because he had been standing under the spray of water, thinking as he had stared into space. Not really something you would expect from the dead last. From an usuratonkachi. Naruto growled a bit when he realized that he thought of him again, and almost broke the package of cup ramen that lay in is hand as he squeezed it. He cursed loudly, and began to make the ramen after he had assured himself of that his precious ramen was still intact.

He yawned loudly, and decided to try to make his ramen in peace without another thought of certain people. Although, Naruto soon discovered, it wasn't working at all. Apparently, when you tried to shut down your brain and stop thinking it would make you think of the thing you were trying not to think of even more (A/N: Ouch, that hurt my brain!). That kind of reminded Naruto of the time when Kakashi had tried to teach his team (mostly just Naruto, really) to meditate, but that unsurprisingly hadn't gone very well for Naruto at all. Sasuke, on the other hand, had obviously meditated before like that, and observing that fact had only made Naruto even less concentrated on meditating. And there you go, thinking of him again…

"Arrgh! Shut up! " Naruto yelled, clearly not realising how strange it was to get angry at his own thoughts. Oh well. This was Naruto after all. Although he did have his bright moments from time to time, you couldn't expect too much of him.

When Naruto's ramen was ready, he quickly sat down at his table to eat. Since it was now almost 4 in the morning, and Naruto wouldn't meet with his team before 7, it meant that he would have time to practise, shower and even stop by at Ichiraku's… No, wait, they probably wouldn't be open yet. Dammit. Oh well, that just meant that he would have to make some cup ramen again instead… Sigh. Naruto was just about to finish eating his ramen, when suddenly there was a tapping noise, coming from his bedroom. Puzzled, Naruto dropped his chopsticks and stood up to see what it was. When he warily looked into his room, the tapping sound stopped. Naruto looked around in his room, but he couldn't see anything that could possibly have made such a noise.

"What the-," Naruto began to say, but interrupted himself as the tapping sound came back, although now much louder. Confused, he spun around, and finally saw where it came from. The window. Little rocks were hitting the glass, creating small and tapping sounds. But who was throwing them? Now more than just a little curious, Naruto peered closer to the window, trying to stay out of sight as he looked through it. The rocks stopped coming, suddenly, and Naruto could see no sign of a person anywhere. The curiosity Naruto felt was soon replaced by irritation, and he flew the window open.

"What do you want?" He yelled, looking around for any sign at all that someone else was there. He couldn't feel any chakra, but Naruto knew that someone had to be there. Maybe it was just a little kid playing a prank? But to disappear that quickly, only shinobi could be that fast…

After a minute or two, Naruto decided that whoever had thrown the rocks wasn't coming back anytime soon, so he closed the window and turned around. And froze. Right before him, casually leaning against the door, was the person who was constantly on Naruto's mind. His silky black hair was a bit longer now, his outfit had changed, but it was, without a doubt, Uchiha Sasuke who stood before him. Naruto blinked. It felt as though his mind had shut down, as though his body had forgotten how to move. He was absolutely petrified. He opened his mouth to say something, but just like in the dreams that had plagued him for months, nothing came out.

"Are you just going to stand there, dobe, or are you actually going to say something?" Naruto blinked again, but couldn't even bring himself to react as Sasuke suddenly stood very close to him.

"Didn't you miss me?" He heard Sasuke say in hushed words, as though he didn't want anyone else to hear them. Like it was their secret... almost forbidden. Suddenly, Sasuke put a hand on Naruto's shoulder, and leaned into him. That gesture finally put Naruto out of his daze, and confused as he was he hissed, almost angrily:

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke smirked like only an Uchiha could, which made Naruto smile just a little inside, despite it all. Apparently, Sasuke hadn't changed much at all. Or had he? Now, when Naruto could take a closer look, he saw a pain in the Uchiha's eyes that hadn't been there before, or if it had, it had never been this strong. The discovery made Naruto sad, for some reason he couldn't quite grasp. Finding himself locked in Sasuke's eyes, he opened his mouth to say something again, anything, but once again, but he was speechless.

His former rival took this opportunity to speak again:

"Aren't you glad I came to see you? Of course, if you don't want me here, I could always leave-"

"No!" Naruto interrupted with an uncharacteristically quiet voice, feeling suddenly almost afraid. Please don't leave me again. If there was something that Naruto knew he couldn't endure twice, it was Sasuke leaving. His best friend, his brother. His… love. My love. Naruto smiled his sunshine smile all of a sudden, and by the look of Sasuke's face, surprising his long lost teammate in the progress. Heck, he even surprised himself. What is this feeling?

As if feeling encouraged by Naruto's smile, Sasuke leaned in a bit more, and Naruto couldn't hold back any longer. With something that sounded suspiciously like a sob, he flew his arms around his former rival, no longer caring what the other boy would think. Naruto smiled again. It felt really good to be holding Sasuke like this, arms around his neck. But what felt even better, was when Sasuke cautiously returned the hug, sneaking his arms around him. The warm feeling Naruto felt in his heart spread through his whole body, and Naruto knew that he didn't want to let go, ever, ever again.

Much later that day, when Naruto had gone to bed, he had that dream again. Only this time, he didn't even attempt to say anything when he saw Sasuke. He just gave him a smile, and that was all it took for Sasuke to notice him.

Maybe the words were left unsaid for now, but the meaning of their gentle smiles was never lost between them.

A/N: Well, this was kind of corny I guess. But it's my second oneshot, so I still like it ;). Please ignore any strange sounding sentences, weird grammar and words, since English isn't my first language. Please review and tell me what you think!