Time Will Not
Full Title: 'You May Delay, But Time Will Not'
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Chapter 1
Garcia was stressed. Badly. The impossible had occurred and she was clammy, shaky, weak-kneed and ready to vomit.
She supposed now, as she punched in a familiar phone number, that it mustn't have been impossible after all, and laughed incredulously at the thought. It wasn't impossible that Brad Pitt would show up on her doorstep and say "Hey, aren't you that cute chick from the grocery store?" after all. It was just very, very unlikely.
With her fingers shaking so badly she had to redial three times before she got a connection. As she did so, she replayed the conversation in her head.
-
She'd answered the phone chirpily, as always. A little buzz of optimism for her hard-working field agents and her gorgeous candy-man. "Office regarding the answer to life, the universe and everything. No it is not 42, it is me. Shutdown's in 5. What's your pleasure?"
"Baby girl, it's 7:30," he'd replied, sounding concerned. "Give me one good reason that a pretty girl like you'd still be hanging the BAU at this hour with not a single case open for you to tinker with."
Garcia checked her watch lazily and let out an exaggerated yawn as she removed her orange heeled feet from on top of her desk, silver bells jangling as she did so. "I was sleeping, obviously," she retorted. "Not that you'd understand that… The moment you got warm and cosy enough to actually take a nap, your sensuous dark chocolate body begins to melt away…" Garcia paused thoughtfully.
"Baby girl, you know I don't like to be compared to food items," Morgan complained in good humour. "Especially given the way you always look hungry when you see me…"
Garcia licked her lips and giggled. "It is not a coincidence," she informed him mischievously.
Again Morgan chuckled. "What say I take my mama out to dinner. Nice place. Settle your ever insatiable hunger."
Garcia considered, then blanched, replaying his phrasing in his head, analysing it.
Dinner with Morgan?
Nice place?
It didn't compute. When they ate together alone together it was always take out, bar food, or maybe a light meal at a café… always! What did 'nice place' mean, anyway? More importantly still, just which 'insatiable hunger' did Morgan intend to settle…?
Immediately, Garcia found herself feeling giddy… and hot. Very hot. In a very inappropriate place.
"Garcia?" Morgan sounded concerned again and Garcia realised too late that she hadn't yet given him a reply. "Baby girl, are you still with me?"
Garcia forced herself out of it. "Yeah, yeah. On scene," she replied, trying to play it cool. "I'm just, uh… tired. That's all. You woke me, remember?"
"Yeah," said Morgan, cautiously relieved.
"So… dinner?"
"Yeah," Morgan repeated, a little awkwardly. "I mean, there's this new restaurant in my neighbourhood I've been thinking 'bout trying out, and I figure, well, if you're not busy, it's a whole lot cooler than some single guy in smart clothes eating out on his own."
"I'd love to," Garcia agreed before she could help herself.
The speedy reply was enough to soothe Morgan's damaged pride and return to him his former confidence. "Cool," he said casually. "I'll pick you up in, say, one hour. I know it doesn't leave you long to get home and freshen up, but we don't wanna leave it too late if you're tired, right? 8:30?"
"Y-yeah, cool," she repeated his phrase.
"Cool," Morgan said again. "I'll go home and, uh, brush my hair. You go home and dolly up for me, yeah baby? See you soon?"
"Sure thing," Garcia replied, mind on autopilot by this stage.
"…Dress sexy, baby."
Garcia froze up again and by the time she was able to question his wording, her miscellaneous dining companion for the evening had terminated contact…
Shit.
She had one hour remaining.
-
"Hey, JJ. Thanks for coming over so fast! I've only got 45 minutes!" Garcia panted as she ran up to her own front door, keys jangling. "Been waiting here long?"
"Not really," JJ replied. "Of course, you know I'd do anything for you, girl."
Garcia smiled. "So sweet," she said, reaching up to pinch JJ's cheek affectionately whilst pushing the door open with her opposite shoulder. "Now, I hope you can run stairs—"
"Whoa, whoa, Pen," JJ interrupted, placing a hand firmly on her friend's arm. "Before I run all those stairs in these shoes, you had better tell me what I'm running them for!"
Garcia glanced up the stairs longingly before replying, realising that JJ wouldn't budge until she did. "Morgan asked me out," she blurted out, not even pausing to register the reaction. "He said it was a 'nice place' but he was really casual about it so I don't know what— Well, I need you to figure out what that means and help me dress appropriately." Without further ado, she began sprinting up the stairs, two-by-two, with JJ in close pursuit.
"O-okay," she panted. "You don't know… the name of… the place?"
"I've got a… few possibilities… Morgan said it… was… in his neighbourhood… recently opened… Been thinking about… trying it… out…"
Both girls stopped to rest momentarily on a landing and Garcia spilled out everything she knew.
"I did a search before I left the BAU and the only decent yet recent place around is the one where I know he took his mother last time she visited."
JJ paused mid-step, about to take on the next flight of stairs, nodding thoughtfully. "So he's lying about wanting to 'try it out'," she said, grin widening, and with a note of glee making itself evident in her tone. "Fact of the matter is, he's found a place near his house nice enough to take his mother and he wants to take you there."
Not for the first time that night, Garcia felt dizzy. "But what is this, JJ? It's so out of the blue…" They began to walk again, all attempts at sprinting wordlessly abandoned. "What do I do? What does he expect me to do??"
"Pen, calm down!" JJ chastised her, taking her arm and linking it around hers. "When we get up to your place there's a simple solution for finding the answers to those questions," she said confidently.
"There is??"
"Of course!" JJ replied, pointing up at the door to the apartment. "I'll just call him and ask him!"
"What?!" Garcia tugged her arm away and jumped up a step to halt JJ in her path. "No way!" she protested. "It's too obvious! He'll know you're asking for me! Trust me, I know him!"
JJ looked up at Garcia considerately. "You may be right… What you need is someone totally innocent, unassuming… Someone we can bend to our will without it being obvious…"
A few moments passed in silence, then both girls' heads snapped up simultaneously, eyes glowing. Excitedly, they exclaimed in unison:
"Reid!!"
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"Hi, uh, is this Derek Morgan?"
"Reid? Yeah, this is Morgan. What's up, kid?"
Reid stuttered falteringly— a flaw that JJ and Garcia had overlooked in their excitement.
"I was, uh, wondering if you were, uh, f-free tonight. I mean, I —tha-that is to say w-we— were thinking of, uh, going out for a b-beer or something?"
Morgan paused and pulled the phone away from his ear, staring at it with the sort of uncomprehending look one usually reserves for surveying alien communication devices, or evidence of a partner's infidelity. Reid was not a liar, mostly because he was so terrible at it. So why was he lying now?
"Who is 'we', Reid?" Morgan asked suspiciously.
Reid struggled for names desperately. "I, uh… Uhh… That would be… Agent Prentiss."
"Emily Prentiss will be there?" Morgan confirmed slowly.
"Yeah!" Reid agreed, a little too quickly. "And, uh, JJ, Agent Rossi."
"Is that so?" Morgan chuckled, shaking his head at the phone.
"Even Elle!"
"Even Elle," Morgan repeated, amusement ringing clear in his tone. "Tell me, Reid, will Penelope Garcia be there by any chance?"
Reid rushed to answer, then broke off, sighing in defeat. "How'd you guess?" he asked resignedly, receiving only a muffled chuckle in response. "…What am I supposed to tell her?"
"We'll see," Morgan replied. "What exactly did my baby girl ask you to find out for her? She must have known that I'd tell you that I was busy with her tonight. What was her purpose?"
Reid coughed discreetly. "I was, uh, supposed to ask you if you were asking her out or not," he admitted ruefully. "Is it a date? All that jazz. If I managed that successfully I was also supposed to ask, basically, the terms and conditions. Is it formal? What sort of thing is she supposed to wear? What kind of food should she expect? The list goes on…"
"Why didn't she ask me these questions?" asked Morgan, brows furrowing slightly.
"I expect she was nervous," Reid answered, a little more comfortable now he was telling the truth, even if he was betraying Garcia by doing so. "She mentioned that you were pretty vague and she was a little out of it, tired and surprised. Probably felt silly about asking, in case she'd missed something telling."
"Right, so what do I do?" asked Morgan. "Give you the answers so you can tell her?"
"Uh, I guess that'd be the best course of action," Reid agreed. Then, thinking it over, he grinned sheepishly. "It'd also save me from telling Garcia that I told you."
"Cool..." Morgan drummed his fingers on the table uncertainly. "Uh, Reid. I wouldn't usually ask, but… what would you tell her?"
Reid quirked his lip a little, confused.
"Me?" he replied, evidently surprised. "Call me old-fashioned, but I'd just tell the girl the truth."
-
Garcia's eyes widened as the phone rang, and after exchanging a frantic look with JJ and deliberating a few seconds, she jumped on it. "Hello?? Reid? Hello??"
"Hi," Reid replied, somewhat awkwardly.
Garcia put him on speaker and sat down, knees to chest on the couch beside JJ. "What is it? What did he tell you? Did he figure you out??"
"N-no!!" Reid was quick to reply. "I fooled him!"
JJ raised an eyebrow suspiciously but Garcia was too caught up in what he was saying to take in how exactly he said it. "How did it go??" she asked quickly. "I only have twenty-five minutes to get ready—!"
"It's a date," Reid told her plainly. "The restaurant is called La Dolce Vita. It's Italian: 'The Sweet Life'. Comprehende?"
Garcia fell backwards in relief, nodding happily.
Realising that Garcia was not about to give a verbal answer, JJ stepped in. "Reid, it's JJ. What's the dress code at this place?"
"It's pretty fancy. I can tell you Morgan's wearing a dress shirt and good pants, so Garcia'd wear… I dunno. I guess, a dress?"
JJ considered this. "Great. What colour shirt is Morgan wearing?"
Reid was caught off guard, and coughed loudly to cover his error. "I, uh, I didn't ask," he admitted. "Me and Morgan, we're guys. We don't care about colour co-ordination. I promise, Morgan will just pick the first thing that comes out of his drawer…"
-
"Man! This is ridiculous! Which fucking shirt am I supposed to wear??" Morgan cursed to his empty apartment. "Jesus! I like the green one, but if Garcia wears red we'll look stupid together, like Christmas elves when they leave the mall display in costume! This is ridiculous… It shouldn't be this damned hard!!!"
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"You're right, it's no big deal what colour shirt he wears," JJ agreed, shooting Garcia a reassuring look. "Is there anything else he might have mentioned to you? Something that might help Garcia prepare for this?" she glanced over at her friend, staring at the ceiling in a daze beside her on the couch.
"Uh, I dunno," Reid replied. "He said that it was a big night. He wanted it to be special…"
JJ grinned at Garcia, who had jolted into a sitting position at those words.
"Whoooa, hold on there, Reid!" she exclaimed. "What does he mean by that???"
Reid hesitated, evidently put off by her sudden vigour. "What? I— I dunno, Garcia. I'm not the one who said it!"
"Spencer Reid, I am begging you!" Garcia pleaded emphatically. "What else did he say?"
Reid wracked his brain for snippets of conversation. "Uh…"
"Come on, Reid! What did you talk about?" Garcia cried, leaning forward so far that JJ considered restraining her to prevent damage to the phone, and/or Reid's ears.
"I— I mentioned that the top conversation killer on dates is past relationships, 49%, followed by dieting or body image, 21%, politics—"
"That's enough, Reid. You did good," JJ cut in, taking the phone off speaker to prevent Garcia working herself up any further. "Thanks for your help. I'm sure Penelope will be all right now. She has to get ready."
"That's fine," Reid agreed, evidently relieved to be getting to the end of this stint. "Tell her I said good luck."
"I will."
"She doesn't even need it," he added, as an afterthought. "Morgan is absolutely madly in love with her… Uh, don't tell her I said that, okay? He might kill me."
JJ laughed quietly and thanked him again before hanging up the phone. "Reid says good luck," she said, placing it back on the table. "Now come on and get up so we can pick out something for you to wear, pronto."
"I'm going on a date with Derek Morgan," Garcia murmured almost inaudibly.
"What's that?" asked JJ, brows furrowing slightly as she strained to hear.
Garcia merely looked up dazedly, a small smile starting on her numb face. "Brad Pitt is at my door…"
-
"So, how do I look?"
By 8:25 both JJ and Emily were present, floating calmly around the house searching out "finishing touches."
By 8:25 Garcia was standing by the door ready to go, hair brushed back, shoes clasped, make-up in full array.
By 8:25 the words "How do I look?" sounded more like a boast than an attack of last minute nerves.
By 8:29 Morgan was knocking on her door.
By 10:53 Garcia's home had become a crime scene.