This wasn't AU when I started; gee, thanks Mashima. Making it difficult for me with your stupid Chapter 292…
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail. I would honestly be happy if I could just talk a little bit of sense into Mashima, that would be enough.
Gray found himself having trouble getting to sleep.
Which wasn't so strange; what had happened had torn everyone apart.
Even as he walked down the halls, he could hear voices he recognized talking in hushed, troubled tones. This was probably one of the only times he could visit where he wouldn't have to share the room with a crowd of people.
After all, even in a comatose state, Lucy needed her rest. Natsu probably wouldn't allow a whole bumbling crowd in there with her at this hour. Not without a fight, that is.
Plus, visiting Lucy was a great place to get away from the drama with Lyon and Juvia, as well as any harassment he may have gotten from Erza about his "lack of enthusiasm" during the match, which knowingly probably cost Juvia the win.
For once in his life, he saw Natsu before he heard him. The dragon slayer was sitting on a bench outside Lucy's room, the self-proclaimed dragon guard of the injured celestial wizard. He was sitting on watch, attentive even as his eyes were coldly absent and dry. Even his hair had lost the rosy sheen to it, leaving it dull and scraggly.
As Gray approached, Natsu did not turn in his direction, nor did he even look at him. When Gray came to the door, however, the guard spoke up, his voice nothing but a hallowed husk of what it was not a week ago, "Juvia's in there."
Gray had been about to turn the doorknob, but the information led him to drop his hand. He plodded over to the bench that Natsu was sitting on and looked down at him, hesitating before sitting down at the other end of the bench.
His eyes were on Natsu, who he half-expected to start picking a fight, even in his troubled state.
But the dragon slayer said nothing.
The two sat on the bench in silence, and, honestly, Gray thought it was kind of relaxing. For once he didn't feel pressure to say or do anything. His dark eyes glanced sideways to watch the young man on the other side of the bench.
There was no telling how long Natsu had sat there, and for a second Gray couldn't tell if he was still alive or not.
Sure, the fact that Juvia was in there was something that he didn't quite want to think about at the moment. Normally, Gray would be concerned; after all, Juvia never seemed to be too fond of Lucy. But even Gray knew that Juvia was all bark. She would never do anything to Lucy in that condition. Somehow, though, he felt okay with just waiting with Natsu outside Lucy's room.
Whether the time dragged or flew was anyone's guess, but an eternity had passed in Gray's mind and the silence had become stale with their breaths and tense from anxiety.
Being with Natsu was no longer comforting. Gray could feel the sorrow seeping from him. Natsu hadn't said a word, and for Natsu to be silent for a few minutes, let alone this long, was very disturbing.
Gray sighed and heaved to his heavy feet.
He no longer cared that Juvia was in there. She was taking too long.
So he made to open the door to the small corridor in between the hall and Lucy's room. Natsu didn't stop him.
But Juvia's voice did.
"Ne, Lucy-san?"
A pause, and no one answered. Juvia continued.
"See, Lucy-san? Juvia's finished! She knitted a scarf for you, just like Natsu-san's…you like it, don't you?"
Another pause, and then Gray heard Juvia's voice again. Even after only a few minutes, Gray swallowed. He could tell the water mage was close to tears.
"Juvia bought you a shirt too! It's…not Juvia's style, but Juvia thought you might like it."
There was a long hiatus in the one-sided conversation this time. When Juvia's voice returned, it was significantly shallower and quieter than before.
"Juvia is so…so sorry, Lucy-san…If only…" her voice trailed.
"If only Juvia wasn't so worried about what Gray-sama thought of her, then…"
Gray inhaled sharply, but listened. He knew he probably shouldn't be doing this, but Juvia's voice sounded so different, so different than the way it sounded when he was around. It was soft and gentle, but sad, as if the girl held the weight of all the despair on her shoulders and tried as hard as she could not to let on to anyone how much it hurt.
"Then maybe you would still be here with us."
His nerves twitched.
He remembered all too well what had gone down not days before. All the images of blood and the sounds of Lucy's agonizing scream still rattled every curve in his skull. Those sounds and pictures had kept him from sleeping soundly as he tossed and turned the past few nights. Just the thought of it and the thought of those smirking Sabertooth goons was enough to make his blood boil.
And he was always the more level-headed one. He couldn't even imagine what this was doing to Natsu. It was probably taking everything in the poor guy not to rip apart every member of Sabertooth by the throat with his bare hands.
"Open your eyes, Lucy-san! See, you have to see what I got you! I know you'll like it, I just know it!" Juvia's voice cracked.
Gray's hands gripped into fists as he stood there in the shadows, listening in anguished silence as the air was slowly permeated by a noise.
First, it was the sound of a sob caught in the throat. Then came the hammering of the thundering rain against the roof.
"Lucy-san…I was – so envious of you. You have so many people that care about you so much. So many of them."
Another couple sobs.
"Juvia has always…always been alone. Even after joining Fairy Tail, Juvia…still sometimes feels alone."
A sob, followed by a cough, then a low, guttural wail.
"That's why, Lucy-san. That's why – Juvia wanted to hold on to Gray-sama…Juvia thought…she thought that if even only one person cared about Juvia, then all her efforts wouldn't be for nothing. She thought – she thought that if she tried to hold on to Gray-sama, that maybe there would be one person that wouldn't leave her!"
Gray felt his chest seize and tighten. He couldn't just as well leave her there. Especially not now.
"Juvia thought…that maybe if she could keep you away from Gray-sama, that maybe she could hold onto just one person that cared about her. But I see now. Juvia was so very foolish, Lucy-san. So very foolish. She saw how friendly and kind you are. She saw how beautiful you are and how many friends you have. Juvia looked at you, Lucy-san, and saw a princess. Juvia looked at you, and saw someone surrounded by love."
A sniffle.
"Something that…that Juvia has always wanted."
A deep inhale.
"That's why, Lucy-san…"
A pause.
"That's why you HAVE to wake up!"
Silence.
"If it were Juvia, no one may miss her and no one may sit by her bedside. Juvia loves this guild and everyone in it, you and Gajeel-kun, Gray-sama, Erza-san, everyone. It's because you have so many people, Lucy-san. Even now, there are so many people waiting for you. You have to get up. For them."
She fumbled as her voice broke a couple times, "Natsu-san has been worried sick. He hasn't slept in three days and he's barely eaten. You don't want to let him down, do you? I know everyone else needs you to wake up too! Everyone! You can't let us down, you have to get up!"
Gray clasped his hand over his mouth. If she kept this up, it would kill him. Hearing the sounds of her crying just above the rumbling roar of the rain was enough. He could feel the arteries in his neck thrusting the blood wildly through his skull even now.
"This is…This is all Juvia's fault, Lucy-san. Juvia could have taken her on…she could have…or at least buy enough time to create a diversion. You wouldn't have had to feel so much pain, to be stuck in that bed like that."
Her voice turned quiet.
"Please, Lucy-san, forgive Juvia. She has been a fool. A wretched fool."
The deafening pinpricks of the rain on the roof grew louder, and Juvia seemed to notice this time.
"Juvia is sorry, Lucy-san. The rain will go away, she promises…but she doesn't know if she can stop it from falling if you don't wake up first."
Gray swallowed as the girl's voice became harder to hear amidst the sound of the rain.
"Juvia can't imagine a world without you, Lucy-san. It would be a very sad thing. It's because of you that Juvia and Gajeel met Fairy Tail, and Natsu-san and Erza-san would not be the same without you, especially Natsu-san. Even Happy would be horrifically sad if you were gone. And Gray-sama…"
Hearing his name, his breath hitched.
"Juvia knows you have been kind to him, and if you are truly what he wants, then Juvia can only wish for his happiness."
He gritted his teeth. He wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to handle this kind of talk. He could barely take it anymore.
"But, even so…Juvia…Juvia will not allow you to leave! Don't you understand, Lucy-san? Who would be Juvia's romantic rival if you weren't there?"
He would have groaned at her words, but her tone of voice wrenched at something inside him. There was not a single hint of malice or hatred in her voice. Not one.
Taking a deep breath, he couldn't do it anymore.
Hearing the footsteps drawing closer, Juvia nearly jumped from her spot beside Lucy's bed, clearly startled at Gray's presence, "G-Gray-sama? Um…H-How long were you standing there?"
His dark eyes staring down at her, he couldn't tell which was more difficult, standing there listening to her or seeing the expression on her face. It was clear she didn't intend to have conscious company. The curls of her azure hair hung in a state of such dishevel that, if not for the dark orbs overflowing the torrents of salty water down her fair, pallid face, one would have a hard time making heads or tails of the knotted blue mass growing from her head.
Gray swallowed and took a deep breath, "Come on, Juvia."
Her eyebrows furrowed, "W-what?"
The ice wizard's eyes glanced down at the hand-sewn scarf in her hands, which was nearly soaked and wet with what he guessed were her tears. Her small fingers were cut and blistered from her work. Gray turned his attention to Lucy to avoid the ache rising in his chest. He breathed out, "At least she's sleeping soundly…"
He trailed off, and Juvia didn't speak for a while. When she did, her voice was hard to hear as she turned away from him, "Gray-sama…I'm sorry. Juvia has caused so much trouble for everyone. Juvia understands if no one wants her in Fairy Tail anymore. Juvia would give anything for Lucy-san to come back."
"I know…"
His voice surprised her, and her eyes darted to him as he held his hand out to her, "Now come on, Juvia, let's go back, okay?"
Her shoulders sunk, "But…Gray-sama…"
The man growled, "Oh, just come on."
She did not meet his eyes as she took his hand. Normally she would be elated, but…
Rising to her feet, she laid the scarf on Lucy's bedside table and followed Gray as he led her out the door. Natsu's attention held on Gray for a moment as he gave an acknowledging nod, an action which Gray solemnly returned.
Juvia barely lifted her eyes from the tiled floor the entire time, even when they exited the building and into the pouring rain.
The rain was cold and heavy, but Juvia didn't seem to make an effort to shield herself or make the rain stop.
The two continued to walk slowly down the sidewalk in the rain, and Juvia huddled her arms around herself, "Juvia is so sorry. Juvia doesn't think she is able to stop the rain."
Juvia didn't hear her comrade speak for a long time as she shivered against the cold, and instead the response was something heavy swathed clumsily across her shoulders. Immediately she looked up at him as he turned his face away, clearing his throat, "You – You'll catch a cold like that."
Clutching his coat tightly around her, she sighed, "Why are you…why are you doing this, Gray-sama?"
For a few moments, she wasn't sure he was going to answer; and he didn't turn around to meet her gaze as he spoke.
"Don't you think you've been alone enough? Besides, I couldn't let a crying woman walk home alone in the freezing rain, now could I?"
His response caused a momentary halt in her step. She wiped the remaining tears from her eyes with the back of her hand, "Really, Gray-sama. You are a kind man."
Gray stopped in his tracks and turned to face her as his face tightened, "Now don't start that!"
He sighed, "Besides, I'm really not."
Juvia tilted her head, and he approached her, lifting his hand to ruffle the hair on top of her head, "This whole thing is not your fault, Juvia, okay? Try not to be so hard on yourself."
Realizing his actions, he withdrew his hand from her head quickly and whipped around with the intention of continuing their trek home, giving a light cough and supposedly clearing the mucus from his throat.
A phantom of a smile kissed the edges of her mouth, trying everything it possibly could to hold more tears back, "I'll try, Gray-sama. I'll try."
Quite honestly, just so you all know, I love Gray and Juvia's characters most of the time, and I thought I would explore them more with this little piece of literature. I don't think Mashima gives them enough attention. There's so much untapped potential there.
However, I absolutely despise Gray's behavior in 291-292. It honestly is quite understandable, but I really don't think it was the best way of handling it.
Anyway, thanks for reading! Hope you all enjoyed it! Take care, Lord bless, and I'm praying for you all!