Some Randomness For Your Pleasure
When the aliens dropped Harry Potter in a paddock in sunny Peckham, the aliens felt really worried because everyone had hair but Harry Potter did not. He was as bald as a bald character within the Harry Potter series. So they whisked him off to the barbershop in the poshest area of London; Kings Cross, and purchased their cheapest wig – 'The Greasy Deluxe 2000', as advertised by Severus Snape. Whom at the moment was number one in the wizarding charts with his new hit single 'I'm a Grease ball' that nobody listened to because people in the wizarding world don't really listen to music because they're all a bit weird aren't they…
However, Severus Snape was rather famous in the muggle world for an illicit sex scandal involving pop star George Michael and some bushes. Moving swiftly on…the wig pleased young Harry Potter greatly; so he went to the hookah bar next door to flash his new mane of hair and celebrate good times…come on! Now if you don't know what a hookah actually is…you may pretend that it is a hooker bar instead. Notice the difference in spelling.
Anyway, because Harry Potter was ever so small, a midget infact, the pipe sucked him up and he tumbled down a tube of Smokey mango variety, although everyone knows apple is the best. When he hit the bottom, Harry Potter was greeted by a Leprechaun of Arab descent by the name of Patrick Hussein. Together they sailed the seven seas, even though they had no clue what they were, but they sailed away for a year and a day to the land where the ganja trees grow and were married the next day.
So Mrs. Patrick Hussein i.e. Harry Potter was very happy with his new husband and jumped so high that he hit the sky and bumped his head which rendered him unconscious. Not so long afterwards when he woke up, it had been approximately 7 minutes and 38 seconds since he had hit his head that Harry Potter had woken up only to discover that he were a infact lobster living a peaceful life in a lobster tank…in a restaurant. 'Don't worry', thought he, but it was too late. A hand came in and took him out with a knife in tow; they sliced him up real nice.
Finally, one hour later of gentle simmering, Harry Potter was served on a dirty plate with chips and mushy peas because he was mistaken for a fish and not a Lobster.
THE END.