Disclaimer: Strangers In Paradise and all characters belong to the amazing Terry Moore. This story is based on Volume: 3 of the series and issues 4 and 5 of the Homage comics. Or chapters 4 and 5 of the trade paperback "Love Me Tender"
-How I See You-
I still remember the way Francine looked as I took a Polaroid picture of her that morning. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights, not knowing which way to run. She turned and looked at me; both embarrassed and ashamed that she had been caught.
I looked up at her as I sat up in our bed. She was wearing a yellow polo shirt with a black and yellow skirt that showed off her full figure. She looked so pretty, and I thought about the things I'd always dreamed of doing with her. Things that we almost did together last night. But she just couldn't do it and that's why she was sneaking away from me now.
"Not exactly a Kodak moment, is it? More of a Polaroid kind of thing," I said as I glanced down at the developing picture.
"I...I didn't want to wake you," she stammered out as an excuse.
I stared down listlessly, still holding the picture in my hands. "I hate this part," I muttered.
"Wha...What part?" she asked, sounding confused.
"The part where it didn't work out and now you're ashamed to talk to me. Now you'll try to avoid me until you decide how to leave me," I said in a rush of words. My heart felt like it was breaking in two, but hey, why would a girl like Francine ever want someone like me?
"Oh no, Katchoo! No! It's not like that!" she responded sheepishly.
I looked up at her doubtfully. Her warm brown eyes met mine and then her face fell. I saw the conflicting emotions as they played across her features, as she struggled with her feelings about last night.
"You don't have to do this, you know. You don't have anything to be ashamed of," I told her softly. "There's nothing you could do with me that I haven't wished for!"
She looked down at the ground. "I know that. I wasn't prepared for how it made me feel," she admitted softly.
"How did it make you feel?" I asked her, as my heart pounded in my chest. I knew how she made me feel. She had to be feeling the same way. Why couldn't she just give in to me? To us?
"I felt like I was somebody else- somebody more interesting than me," she replied, as she looked down at the floor.
How could she say that? To me, there was no one else who was as interesting as she was. Her beauty, her kindness and her warm southern drawl all made me feel like I was where I belonged. With her. When would she ever realize that?
"Maybe that's how I see you," I began, gazing up at her as she stood over the bed. "Francine, it's possible to spend your entire life with the wrong person. I've seen people do it. It's like they're numb- they smile but they can't laugh. I know I'm spending my life with the right person. Are you?" I asked pointedly.
She didn't answer for a moment, then I noticed tears falling down her cheeks as she abruptly turned away. "I have to go. I'm gonna be late for work," she choked out, slamming the door behind her.
I cringed at the sound the door made as it echoed through our tiny little house. I hung my head in frustration and began to cry. My tears fell onto the Polaroid picture and caused Francine's image to smear. I just knew that I was going to lose her. She was too good for someone like me, for someone who's done the things that I've done. How could I have ever thought I was worthy of her love?
She was ashamed of me and the idea of us taking our friendship further. It didn't matter what we had been through together. I wasn't someone that she could ever love in that way. And it was killing me inside.
Ace. Darcy. My terrible past. I couldn't escape who I was or what I had done. I was human wreckage packaged in a petite blonde body. And I didn't know how to change.
I reached for my pack of cigarettes. I lit one and inhaled deeply, watching as the smoke billowed above my head. I suddenly thought about David and the fight we'd had yesterday. He had agreed that I could paint him, then changed his mind when he found out I wanted him to pose nude. He refused to do it, telling me that it was obscene. My art meant everything to me and his words made me feel ashamed, like I was cheap and dirty. He had acted like I was some sort of sick pervert.
And I knew he had reasons to believe that. My past as "Baby June" was going to haunt me forever. He knew all my dirty secrets, all because of what his sister had told him. He had wormed his way into Francine's and my life, and it had all been on Darcy's orders. Part of me wanted to hate him, but...I knew that he couldn't be like his sister. No one could be as evil as she was. Especially not him. He was only another one of her victims after all.
'I'm such a dumb ass.' I thought. I was in love with a woman who couldn't return my feelings, and I'd just hurt the only man I've ever cared for.
I stubbed my cigarette out and climbed out of bed. I hurried to take a shower and throw on some clothes, because I needed to find David and apologize to him before it was too late..
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I stood in David's empty apartment. His landlord said that he had moved out yesterday but didn't say where he was headed. I made up a story about losing my grandmother's necklace inside the apartment. The landlord let me inside so I could look for it.
I wandered around the small rooms, seeing if David might have left any clue to where he was going. Inside the kitchen were empty boxes of microwavable meals. Inside his refrigerator was an almost empty bag of sliced bread, a jar of peanut butter and a can of soda.
Sighing, I walked into a room only to find a bed with a pillow and sheets on it. David's bedroom. The bed was unmade and I sat down on it. I rested my hand against the sheets for a moment, then picked up the pillow David had slept on and hugged it to my chest. 'David, where are you?' I thought, as I bent over holding the pillow against my face, trying to inhale the scent of him. I slowly raised my head and noticed a piece of paper peeking out from under the edge of the sheet that rested on the floor.
I reached out, picked the paper up and unfolded it. I giggled to myself when I realized it was a drawing David had made of us holding hands. He had little hearts surrounding us, then drawn Francine's face in the background scowling in jealously. It was such a ridiculous picture that my giggle soon turned into a hearty laugh.
'He really loved you, you idiot, and you made him leave!' I realized. My laughter soon turned to tears as it finally sunk in that David was gone. I didn't know if I would ever see him again.
Francine, David and I.
How did things get so complicated between us?
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Thank you to BakaGaijin30 for proofreading.
A/N- This is my first time writing SIP. I may write another chapter or two to this focusing on Francine's and David's view during this time frame of the comic. I'm not sure yet, if you'd like to read more- please let me know.
As always, reviews and helpful concrit are appreciated. Thanks for reading.