Title: Sam's Movie Pick
Author: tommygirl828 (at) gmail (dot) com
A/N: This was written for a friend who wanted funny Supernatural. I did my best with the requirement, considering as soon as I read the prompt I pictured Dean being forced to see this movie. Feedback always appreciated.
"So what movie did you pick?" Dean asked, pulling the car into a spot. He leaned back in his seat and stretched out his legs. It was rare that he and Sam had time to kill, but he was going to enjoy the moment. Even if it meant that he was letting his brother pick the movie and would end up seeing some movie with a plot he didn't understand. But Dean didn't care right then. His brother had been in one of his funks and Dean wasn't sure how to help him out of it. So he did the only thing he could do - hand control of their afternoon activity over to Sam.
"Brokeback Mountain is playing in a half hour. It's that one with Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger. It's supposed to be really good."
Dean arched his eyebrow and repeated, "Brokeback Mountain?"
"That's what I said."
"It sounds like gay porn."
"Well…"
"I'm not seeing gay porn, Sam," Dean replied. He slid out of his seat and shut the car door behind him. He didn't move though. He saw the look in his brother's eyes, the stubborn, must-fight-even-if-it's-over-a-stupid-movie glint. "In case you weren't aware, I'm not gay."
"Neither am I."
"Sometimes I wonder."
"It's not gay porn, Dean. It's an independent movie by Ang Lee. It's a love story."
"About dudes?"
"Everyone is talking about this movie. Rebecca emailed me and said that I had to take some time from killing ghosts to see it. And all the critics are raving about it."
"I'm not going to see it. Pick another movie."
"There isn't another movie I want to see."
"There has to be something," Dean stated, crossing his arms over his shoulders and leaning against the Impala. "If you wanted to kill me, there are easier ways to do it."
Sam stared at his brother for a moment, and upon noticing the seriously pissed off look on his brother's face, he replied, "It's a movie, Dean."
Dean glared at his brother and added, "It's a love story about two gay cowboys."
"I had no idea you were such a homophobe."
"Just because I don't want to see two guys going at it doesn't mean I'm a homophobe. It's just not my thing...now if it were two women, I'd be all over it."
"If you gave it a chance, you'd probably like it."
"What the hell kind of logic is that? I thought you were the smart one and you're trying to convince me that if I gave it a chance, I'd like it. Not a chance in hell."
"Dean."
"I'm not seeing it, Sammy."
"It's nominated for an Oscar, Dean."
"So?"
"So, it's one of those movies that should be seen," Sam countered. He closed the passenger's side door and walked toward the ticket booth. He called out, "And you're going. You said it was my pick."
"That was before you forced your gay agenda down my throat," Dean noticed the smirk on Sam's face and said, "Maybe not the best choice of words, but no way am I sitting through this movie. They aren't even attractive, man. If I have to watch dudes make out, couldn't it be someone a little prettier than Heath Ledger."
"It scares me that you've thought about Heath Ledger's level of prettiness," Sam replied.
"Says the guy who wants to see the movie."
"Because it's nominated for an Oscar and I'm secure enough in my masculinity to handle two guys kissing," Sam replied. He turned away from Dean and ordered two tickets from the movie attendant.
Dean groaned. He tried to walk back to the car, but Sam grabbed onto his jacket. "Let go of me, Sam."
"No way, man. You promised."
"I momentarily forgot that you were a big girl and assumed we'd see a movie with a lot of explosions and girls with big boobs. Not men making out."
"Open your horizons, Dean."
"Shut up."
"I'm beginning to think you protest a bit too much."
"SHUT UP," Dean replied. He pried free of Sam's grip and started moving back toward the Impala. The mistake he made was meeting Sam's gaze. And in true little brother fashion, his brother's face had contorted into the infamous puppy dog looks of old. And dammit, Dean couldn't resist that face even now that his brother was a grown man and usually pissed him off and did things like make him watch guys going at it.
Dean pointed to the snack bar and said, "Oh stop with the face. I'll see the damn movie. But just so we're clear, I hate you."
"No you don't."
"And you're buying," Dean added. He glanced at the list of items on the menu and said, "Do they sell beer here? I think I'm going to need to be really drunk for this movie."
"I bet you'll love it."
"It's true. I have a soft spot for gay romance."
"Dean…"
"Expand my horizons. I heard you the first time."
"Like I said before, it's supposed to be really good."
"I'm going, okay? Stop trying to sell me on it."
"And it's gotten great reviews."
Dean glared at Sam, who was enjoying this too much. He said, "For the record, this is probably why people think we're a couple. Because you drag me to stuff like this."
"There will be lots of young women there...probably cute women...women who will think you are sensitive and amazing for being secure enough in your sexuality to see a good film with gay men."
"Women who will think I'm gay."
"And that will make you even more irresistible."
Dean glanced around as he thought about what his brother said. He had done worse things in his life to score with a hot chick. And if seeing the damn movie removed Sam's foul mood for a few hours, he would deal with it. He shrugged and said, "You owe me."
"No, I don't."
"You will after this."
"The reason you let me choose the movie was because you owed me."
"Right. Well, it's the circle of life, Sammy, and you'll owe me again," Dean said.
Dean made his way to the guy leaning against the cash register at the concession stand. He placed a large order of things and glanced at Sam to pay. Sam rolled his eyes, but pulled a twenty from his wallet, resisting the urge to point out that his money was their money. If allowing the pretense of paying got Dean to shut up long enough to sit through the movie, he'd allow Dean his small win.
Armed with popcorn, sodas, and nachos, Dean stared up at the doors to the theater. Sam rolled his eyes against the look on his brother's face. He had witnessed Dean face down poltergeists and scary ass demons with no fear whatsoever, but the look on Dean's face in that moment bordered on downright panic.
Dean took a deep breath and said, "Let's get this over with."
"It's a movie, Dean. You'll be fine."
"You better hope so, Sam, or I'll have to kill you."
"Are you going in or are we going to stand here all day?" Sam replied, pushing Dean forward with his free arm.
Dean shot him a dirty look and said, "I'm mentally preparing myself for this, okay. The things I do for you, little brother, and you don't even appreciate it."
"I'd appreciate it more if you moved your ass into the theater."
Dean started walking, but abruptly stopped. He focused on Sam and asked, "Do you really think there will be hot girls here?" As if on cue, a small group of girls walked past them and headed into the theater. Dean smiled and said, "I'm sitting with them."
Fin