Whats the malfunction?
This has been a long time in the thought. I cannot keep doing this. I am fed up with having sex with strangers.
Fed up.
I'll be talking about this tomorrow, but I am going through some serious changes. And the men that I have met throughout the history of life have just exhausted me. And it all came to a head last week.
I was on the telephone chat line with a guy who was not too far from my neighborhood. At first he gave me an address that was literally 3 blocks from my apartment. Such a close proximity had me salivating. I told him that I would get ready, and call him right before I was leaving. I cleaned up and gave him a call, and asked him to give me his exact address. He told me, Actually, I don't stay on the street I told you, I live on X street. X street, I thought. I told him, That's more than a mile away from the original spot you named. He replied, Yeah, well that's still pretty close.
For a person in a car, he was somewhat correct. But for me--a man whose car is his feet in manhattan--its annoying.
With hesitation, I told him that I would come over. About 20 minutes later, I arrived at his place in a cab. He lived in a basement apartment. He was a relatively fit, light skinned man. He had a porn video playing on the television--two well built, men were haveing sex VIGOROUSLY. I was already disgusted at the site.
We went to his bedroom, and I was so hot. He told me that he wanted to have sex with me. We were ready to have sex when He went to have sex with me, and his penis went soft.
He looked at me, This condom is cutting off my circulation. He played with it a little more and said, This is too tight, it doesn't feel good. I looked at him, and I was in complete disgust. And I thought, hey, you're penis isn't that big.
But then I realized that wasn't the voice in my head speaking. I had actually said those words outloud.
I looked at his face, and he was mad at my judgement of his penis. I didn't care. I was so tired of this: The guy who can't get an erection with a condom.
I know you're thinking, Gosh jack, you're so harsh. Everybody has erection problems once in a while. You'd be absolutely right. Many people do have problems with erections at various times. But there was something about his condom is to tight statement that sounded like a big fat lie.
And one minute later, his lie revealed itself when he asked me, So can I just try for a minute?
I looked at him.
He wanted to stick his nasty penis in my clean body! He had no intention of having sex with a condom. For me the whole mood was ruined.
Can't I just meet a functional guy? Why do you want to just have sex? What's the malfunction?
I grabbed my clothes and put them on and left. I'm tired of wondering why people want to endanger me. Why, in this day and age they don't men want to protect themselves. I am just plain e x h a u s t e d.
Like I said, I'm really fed up with this. It's time for a change...