(Started 4/12/10)
The YUFFIE files.
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Look, let me explain to you something...I hate explosives!
You get the timing wrong, and NO, you're not going to blow yourself up...You're going to blow someone else up! I mean, like, where do you hide your detonator when you enter a bank!
BINGO! That's what bras are for!
Now, the problem with using chemical explosives are...if you're a man! They ALWAYS strip-search you when you look loony! You wonder why those bank tellers are so horny.
Oh, I roll my eyes on that.
So, here I am, going to PanMaysDa Bank, and I realize they have a metal detector! A METAL DETECTOR! I mean, they KNOW I'm hooking up with SHURIKENS on the side, so why do they have to TEST me about IT?
I mean, I show them my stuff, and they like what they see! They STILL asked for a bank ID. I should've known that butch was a woman.
Hold on, what cell am I in now? Aw, right, FREECELL! I learned the hard way on card tricks. Those little assholes! I should've known they weren't HATU-ing me anymore. It's called HUMAN RIGHTS PROBLEMS! They literally had to KICK me out of prison when I kept beating them at solitaire...EH. Could've made a fortune.
Back onto the subject of banks...
Yeah, they had a don't ask, don't smell policy later on. Dagnabit. I KNEW they'd use a live canine to detect my serine gas! Nah, it didn't kill...them all. Just the ones holding the moolah, or was it money.
AW, those stupid little dogs...
So, I...it's my 9th time in prison, and I realize I wasn't looking so good anymore......Anyhow, WHO takes me out of prison?! WHO saves my SKIN?! WHO tells me, "You are so...OUT!"???
Some dirt-bitch who needed a pottery-maker. I should've known that woman had problems....She talked to plants...I mean, she's like POISON-IVY, only she...she......creepy girl, but I'll get to that later....
--- Hold on, let me take an aspirin... ---