He couldn't recall the weeks that had passed. Not well. But knew he would never forget that day. He had been the last believer left. He'd believed it till the very end. Even when he knew, he still wanted the man to be right. Hell, he'd almost done as he'd been asked and shot not the murderer, but his companions. He wondered if it would be better if he had.
He was more aware than the others, being younger, of the changes in society. Kira had, to a point, made the world safer for the innocent. The sacrifice was one of the brightest minds in Japan…in the world.
He went to Kira's funeral. … No, it was Light's funeral. It was a few years late, Light had died the moment Kira was born. He'd come back to life once, during the investigation, but died once more after a few months.
All that was left was the grieving mother, sister, and whatever Misa truly was to Kira. That and the scarred remains of the task force. Aizawa, Ide, Mogi, and himself. They had all lost so much in this war for justice. L, Watari, the Chief, Ukita, and countless other innocent people. Even some, like Mello, who weren't innocent, but had tried to stop Kira.
He sighed, downing the drink in front of him. Getting drunk wasn't the right answer, nor the best idea, he knew that but… How else would he numb the pain? How else could he make himself forget? Yes, all of the task force was made to see a therapist, not that the doctor could understand their hardships. The raw betrayal they felt.
And then he wondered, did Light feel as he himself felt, taking down criminals and getting a rush from it? He chuckled darkly. What would the others say if they heard his thoughts? Scold him? Comfort him? Ignore him? Or would they pretend to be sympathetic and later look at him in disgust.
He felt haunted by the memory of Light in that warehouse, yelling at him to shoot the others. And, not for the first time, he wondered if he did the right thing in shooting Kira.
Well, I tried this style out with my Ouran fic Too Late and got some good reviews for it, so I decided to use it with Death Note. It really only works with angsty stuff, though. And for the record, I do not own Death Note or Matsuda.