I'll
be dreaming my dreams with you
And
there's no other place that I'd lay down my face
I'll
be dreaming my dreams with you.
Dreaming My Dreams - Cranberries
It was late in the day, nearing sunset. She stood on a beach and she couldn't see passed the copper rays of the sun. She lifted a hand to block the light but no matter how much she tried she just couldn't see. But someone was there, she knew it. She felt it.
And then time seemed to shift,
the world revolving around her and it was night, the moon shining overhead. She
was still standing in the exact same place she had been standing when it had
been sunset. And now she felt that presence, even closer. Closer to her heart.
He was here. At last, he was
here. The scent of the beach was around her, overpowering, almost assaulting
her senses. And she loved it, loved feeling the air as it tugged at her, as it
played with her hair and caressed her skin. The way she wanted him to caress
her skin.
Oide…
She wasn't sure who said it,
wasn't sure if the voice had been masculine or feminine. Maybe it had been her
voice alongside his. All she knew was that she wanted it to be him who had said
it, who was calling for her.
"Where are you?"
She couldn't see him, she only
felt him and it wasn't fair. His voice was suddenly all around and she didn't
know where it came from.
Oide…
"Where are you?"
she cried, the wind whipping her hair around her face. She shoved it back,
trying to put it behind her ear, to stop it from being pushed into her mouth.
It blocked her view, didn't allow her to see as clearly as she would have
liked. And yet if she turned around to look behind her the wind rushed in the
opposite direction, always in opposition to her.
Aishiteru…
Tears sprang to her eyes. The
voice…the voice…she couldn't take it, she couldn't bear it. "Where are
you?" she sobbed, shrieking at the moon and as its beauty swam through
her tears she shut her eyes, lifting her hands to her face in shame. How
shameful, how utterly shameful that she should cry at her beloved moon, blame
her for something that was out of her reach. Something that she had never
actually had in her hands.
She took hold of locks of her
hair, moving to push them from her face, when fingers wrapped around her wrist
from behind. Tender fingers with a soft grip, taking hold of her wrist. Breath
brushed her cheek, and she knew that it wasn't the wind. The wind was not
forgiving here, not as warm as the breath upon her face. An arm wound around
her waist, embracing her tightly against a lean body and she wept then, tears
running freely down her face.
My Card Mistress…
She turned her face, feeling
someone's jaw against her temple and she merely gazed tearfully as lips brushed
a kiss against the pulse of her wrist. Warmth bubbled deep inside, bringing a serene
smile to her face through her sorrow and she felt as if she were falling,
spiraling down into blackness.
"I never told you…I never
told you…" she thought sadly.
The figure released her wrist,
hand lifting to cup her jaw, thumb brushing away tear tracks. And she saw him
then, had known from the beginning it would be him. His eyes were a deep
chocolate brown, so thick, as if she could taste the chocolate upon her lips.
Skin so smooth, perfect. Shimmering brown hair in the moonlight, windswept.
Cherry blossom…Sakura…
She was his cherry blossom. The
lone petal that had fallen from the tree to rest before him. She gazed at him
through hooded eyes, allowed herself to reach with trembling fingers and touch
that hair, run her fingertips over the smooth brow.
"Syaoran…"
She loved him. She loved him so
much, with all her heart and all her soul. Her mind cried for him, her body as
well. She needed everything that he was, needed him to bring her back to
herself. Because she had lost herself, that fateful day he had gone from her.
She had been lost, gazing after him as he had vanished. And she couldn't bear
to be without him anymore. Not anymore.
Aishiteru.
"I love you! I love you!"
she cried, whirling in his arms and embracing him around the waist, holding him
for all she was worth. "So much…"
The heartbeat against her ear
was real, it had to be. He was perfect, he was here.
He lifted her face, gazing down
at her tenderly. And his lips brushed hers, so softly that she felt for a
moment that she dreamed. At last, at last. She received his kiss, wanting more,
lifting her hands to rest them on his chest, over that heartbeat.
"Tell me you're here to stay.
Tell me you came back for me, for me alone, that you couldn't bear to be apart
from me because it broke me when we parted."
He told her no such thing
because his kiss did as she asked, his lips warm, his hair flying across her
face, tickling her. And in his arms she was safe, in his arms she was home.
She sat up in bed, eyes snapping
open in the darkness. And in her hand she held a glowing object, one that was
slowly dimming. She looked around, slowly adjusting to the darkness in her room
and it was only then that she remembered what she had done, why she saw him.
In her hand she held the Dream
Card.
She stared at it, for such along
time, and her heart snapped, pain flooding her body. Tears misted over and her
expression crumbled as she turned her face and sobbed into her pillow.
Tomoyo-chan thought she was
crazy, wanting to go to the beach at night. She had insisted that she not go
and she knew why. Because if he didn't show, which he probably wouldn't, it
would destroy her. He had been gone for so long already and although they wrote
on and off he had never shown any indication in his letters of returning soon.
"Don't go…" Tomoyo had
pleaded with her.
But how could she tell her that
she wouldn't? She had to. She had to. To convince herself that it was in fact a
dream.
Tomoyo had then tentatively
asked if she could record her on the beach and she had nearly scolded her. But
now that she thought about it, perhaps it was better that she did come along.
That way she could be there to pick up the pieces of her heart when she was too
weak to.
And so now here she was,
standing along the shore, the water running over her bare feet icily. She
wrapped her arms around herself, flicking her hair out of her face as the wind
blew it. It was foolishness, to be standing there and she was slowly coming to
realize it.
And then…
"Oide!"
She snapped her head up to see
Tomoyo-chan waving at her excitedly from all the way down the beach. She
motioned, almost impatiently, pointing at her own feet in the water, a video
camera in her hand.
"Oide!"
Was it you then…?
She began to feel the crushing weight of truth as
she floated slowly towards her friend. She sighed, her head bowing as tears
stung her eyes but she blinked them back, feeling that same shame wash over.
You knew it would be like
this…
She reached the spot Tomoyo had
been but she wasn't there anymore. And she suddenly feared the worst. "T…Tomoyo-chan..?"
she asked as the wind suddenly picked up, whipping her hair into her face. She
whirled, looking all around and her knees suddenly felt weak with terror. "Where
are you?" She couldn't see through her hair, couldn't see where her friend
had gone because the sea had washed her footsteps away.
And she suddenly became aware of
someone behind her, breath soft against her cheek as he spoke in a whisper.
"Aishiteru…"
She stiffened, eyes widening.
Wake up. Wake up!
And hands, fingers wrapping
around her wrist, an arm winding around her waist. A jaw against her temple as
she slowly turned her head, her heart clenching.
"My Card Mistress. My cherry
blossom…"
Wake me up. Please, Tomoyo-chan,
wake me up. I can't do this again, I can't do it anymore…
"Sakura…"
She closed her eyes, couldn't bear to see herself, feel herself do it again. But she felt his brow, felt him kiss her wrist lovingly. His hair was brushing her face, brushing tears that had fallen free and she couldn't help herself, couldn't stop herself.
"Syaoran..?"
The breath against her quickened the slightest bit, she felt it. And his body was lean against hers, his arms holding her as if he would never let go.
"Aishiteru."
Yes. Yes. Yes. She couldn't bear it and yet she needed this again, as if addicted to the dream, addicted to him. "I love you! I love you!" she cried, turning into him. And her weight swayed him, his arms tightening. She couldn't believe it, was scared to believe it. And yet she knew that if she looked up, if she opened her eyes and looked up to meet his gaze…
He would kiss her. And he did, lips capturing hers in a kiss that made her reel. So soft, so warm and so real. So very real.
"I'm here to stay. I came back for you, for you alone…" he murmured against her lips, pressing kisses to her mouth, to her cheek, hands grasping her so very tightly that she felt she would snap in two. "Because I couldn't bear to be apart from you, I couldn't…"
She cried then, finally, sobbed against his kiss, fingers tugging on his shirt and then lifting to his face, his hair. Tangling there. Feeling him against her.
And off to the side came the soft sigh of an observer and she broke from him to see Tomoyo-chan, smiling joyfully, recording the event. It was so strange and yet…so perfect.
She laughed through tears, felt his fingers wipe away the teardrops before pressing another kiss to her lips. And she knew she wouldn't be using the Dream Card again for him.
Oh, GOD! Was this MUSH or what? I'm sorry, I'm soooooo sorry but I had to get this out of my system, I HAD to!!!!
Y'know, CCS withdrawal and all.. ;)