I sighed as I sat backstage, plucking the strings of Arthur's guitar. I was trying to keep my tears at bay as I heard the crowd shouting and screaming. Everything had tumbled out of control so quickly; it seemed to all end in chaos when we talked. I had no idea how to fix the problem when I didn't know what the problem was. It just... it seemed to me that we were falling out of love all of the sudden. It was heartbreaking to think of something so horrible after everything we'd been through.
"A-Al," I whispered, as he tugged at the sleeve of my jacket. He looked up at me through those long, blonde lashes, his sky blue eyes twinkling at me. "P-please don't... don't think any l-less of me." He smiled and cupped my cheek for a moment before returning to rolling up the thick cotton. As he pushed it farther and farther up my arm, more crisscrossing lines were revealed. They made it all the way past my elbows.
"Oh hun," he murmured, letting a few tears drip down onto the scarred limbs. I tried to pull my arm away but he held firm. He lowered his head until his lips were brushing against one of the biggest scars across my wrist. He pressed light, soft kisses to each bit of raised skin. He worked his way all the way up my arm and then looked at me. "You don't ever have to do this again, okay?" His eyes were wide and clear as he stared at me.
"O-okay," I choked, letting tears of my own slip out as my eyes fluttered shut. I felt his warm, calloused thumb brush the moisture away. I held his hand close to my cheek, reveling in its warm. "I-I love you Alfred." I opened my eyes and watched as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead.
"I love you too _," he mumbled softly. I smiled as he wrapped his arms around my waist and just held me close.
I came back from one of the many memories that I'd been thinking of over the past few months and saw the rest of the band members milling about. Mathias was tossing his drums sticks about while Gilbert was sitting cross legged on a large amp, tuning his electric guitar. I looked up as somebody suddenly stood in my way.
"You know I'm going to need that if I'm to play," Arthur said teasingly as he sat beside me. I chuckled weakly and held the instrument close.
"You have to play the keyboard first," I reminded him. He groaned and leaned back against one of the large metal posts backstage.
"Don't remind me. I honestly can't believe you forced Roderich to teach me just this one piece," he said, nudging my shoulder with his own. I snorted and shook my head.
"I didn't force him to do anything. Elizabeta and her frying pan on the other hand, well." Arthur laughed as I shrugged and gave a small smile. I looked back up and swallowed thickly. "Are you sure you wanna sing his part?" I asked shakily. He nodded and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
"Are you sure you want to sing love? You don't look so well," he replied. I nodded and he pressed a kiss to my temple. "Alright then. You let me know if you change your mind okay?" he said, pulling away. I smiled in answer and handed his bass guitar over. "Thank you poppet. Be ready in five, alright?"
"You got it," I replied and watched him walk over to Gilbert to talk about chords for their parts. I sighed and rested my head in my hands. Were we really broken; completely and utterly torn in two? I took a shuddering breath and let a few tears drip down my nose.
I shivered as I came to, opening my eyes tiredly. I reached out for warmth, hoping; praying to feel something other than the smooth cotton beneath my fingers. I sat up and looked around in the dark. Nothing but an empty bed. I wrapped my arms around myself as I stood up and walked to the living room.
I flipped a lamp on and looked around for any sign that Alfred had been to the house that night. I noticed a small sticky note on the door and went to look at it./i I'm with Gil and Matthias tonight. Be home sometime late tomorrow night. Al iI swallowed the lump in my throat as I crumpled the small piece of paper. Nothing but the facts. He would always put little stuff around the wording like little drawings of hamburgers or 'Hero' written again and again or just tell me that he loved me, but as of late; I hadn't had anything of the sort. He would tell me what he was doing and that was it. He didn't even put 'Love, Al', it was just… 'Al'.
Everything was falling through my fingers; nothing was okay anymore. I walked back to our bedroom and crawled into the lonely bed. I wrapped the thick comforter around me, trying to warm myself up so I could sleep peacefully. It seemed to take ages before I finally fell into a fitful, uneasy sleep.
"_!" I looked up and saw Mathias taping his drumsticks together by my head. "Come on, time to go." I nodded and wiped my eyes. I sang a few notes to make sure my voice was working before I stepped out with the three other members of the band. It would have been four, but Alfred had abandoned us when we needed him. I wasn't angry or upset either, just really sad and almost depressed that he had let me… us, down.
I walked to the front of the stage, praying my eyes and face weren't red from crying. I smiled at them, glad I couldn't really see for the bright lights. I looked back to make sure Mathias, Gilbert and Arthur were ready. They all nodded and I turned back to the crowd. I took a deep breath as Arthur started playing the keyboard.
Right from the start you were a thief, you stole my heart and I your willing victim. I let you see the parts of me that weren't all that pretty and with every touch you fixed them
The music came so easily to me. I had been practicing this song for months, begging the guys to play it and finally when they did, everything started to crumble. I held onto the microphone as if it were an anchor as I sang, letting my eyes close so I could drown in the steady rhythm and beat of the song.
Now you've been talking in your sleep, oh oh. Things you never say to me, oh oh. Tell me that you've had enough of our love, our love.
I sighed, opening my eyes to the bright lights. My heart ached as I sang. At first I picked the song because it was beautiful and had such a deep meaning. The lyrics and music were lovely and P!nk was such a wonderful artist. I was so eager and ready to sing the song. I never knew it would have such a true meaning for me. I just wished it could be the same, but it didn't seem like Alfred and I could be fixed.
Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough. Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again. It's in the stars. It's been written in the scars on our hearts. We're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again.
I contained the rush of emotion that hit me as I waited for Arthur to pick up where I left off. Alfred would have been the one to do the duet with me, but… he wasn't coming. I listened carefully and my eyes widened as I heard something I definitely hadn't been expecting.
I'm sorry I don't understand where all of this is coming from. I thought that we were fine(Oh we had everything)Your head is running wild again. My dear we still have everythin', and it's all in your mind(Yeah but this is happenin')
I was so surprised by Alfred's voice that I almost forgot to the sing the back up. I turned around and saw him walk out of the shadows. Gilbert, Mathias and Arthur were so stunned they'd almost forgotten to play entirely. Alfred gave me a small smile and continued to sing.
You've been havin' real bad dreams, oh oh. You used to lie so close to me, oh oh. There's nothing more than empty sheets between our love, our love. Oh our love, our love.
I managed to swallow down my shock and keep up with the blonde. He walked forward, looking at me with wide, pleading eyes. He was trying to convey so much and it was all coming out through the song. I looked between him and the rest of the band and they nodded. I looked back at Alfred with a tight, desperate look on my face.
Just give me a reason just a little bit's a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again.
I never stopped. You're still written in the scars on my heart. You're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again.
Tears welled in my eyes as Alfred watched me. He... he meant every single word. The things we'd been going through. It was just a bump in the road and we would overcome it. We weren't broken, we were simply bent and we could learn to love again. I pulled the microphone out of the holder and walked towards him. He grinned in relief at the look on my face and I smiled.
Oh tears ducts and rust, I'll fix it for us. We're collecting dust, but our love's enough. You're holding it in; you're pouring a drink. No nothing is as bad as it seems. We'll come clean.
Just give me a reason just a little bit's enough. Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again.
The crowd cheered as I drew a long breath after such a strenuous note. I walked towards Alfred and he cupped my cheek in his hand. His eyes never left mine as he sang into the microphone. It felt like I was seeing him for the first time all over again. He'd stolen my heart once and he managed to do it every day after, even after I thought we'd fallen apart.
It's in the stars. It's been written in the scars on our hearts that we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again
Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough. Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again.
Alfred wrapped an arm around my waist and I blushed. I continued to the last note though, circling my arm around his neck. The crowd was deathly silent and the only noise was the softening sounds of the song. Alfred's forehead was touching mine and I knew everything was going to be okay. It didn't matter what happened now, as long as we stayed together. Alfred winked at me and I rolled my eyes.
It's in the stars. It's been written in the scars on our hearts that we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again. Oh we can learn to love again, oh we can learn to love again oh. That we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again
The huge mass of people screamed and cheered for us, but I barely noticed. Alfred had clicked off his mic and dropped it to the ground. I had done the same and was now pulled as close as I could against him. He opened his mouth a few times before finally making out actual words.
"I'm sorry babe. For everything that I've done," he mumbled. I shook my head and kissed him. The crowd roared even louder but I barely heard them. Alfred squeezed my middle and I sighed, tilting my head to kiss him deeper. Finally a hard hit to both of our heads made us pull apart.
"Ow! Mathias!" I yelled, rounding on him. The blonde snickered and ran backwards, nearly tripping on his overly long trench coat.
"Come on love birds, get off stage," he cried as he walked behind the curtain, running a hand through his flyaway hair. I turned and waved at the crowd as I laced my fingers through Alfred's. We walked back behind all the noise, through the building and out into the cool night air.
"I'm the one who should be sorry. I... I just don't know. Maybe I was worried for nothing," I muttered, wiping at the tears I could finally let fall. Alfred cupped my cheek and gently made me look up at him.
"Listen to me. Whatever's happened, whatever's been worrying you, we can fix it and make things works. It's like the song says. We're not broken, just bent. We can love again. We weren't working because of something. We'll figure it out and learn to love again," he said softly, running his fingers through my hair.
"A-Alfred," I choked. I could barely take in everything. Everything just seemed to be happening so fast around me. Alfred pulled me against him and I felt steadied. He smelled like pine trees and hamburgers. It was oddly comforting. "I love you," I whispered through my tears. He chuckled and the sound echoed through his chest.
"I love you too _," he murmured, running his hands up and down my back soothingly.
"Took you long enough, git." I looked up and saw Arthur, Gilbert, and Mathias all standing there. Alfred blushed and played idly with my hair.
"I'm sorry you guy. Honest I am, I just… it just took me a while to come around I guess," he replied, scratching the back of his head with his free hand. Gilbert snorted and walked forward.
"You got zat vight. But at least vere all good now, ja?" he asked, looking between us. I nodded and hugged Alfred tight.
"Mhm," I replied. "Come on boys," I replied, holding out an arm to the remaining two, "group hug." Mathias snatched Arthur's arm and ran forward. He and Alfred wrapped the smaller of us in the middle, squishing us. I honestly didn't care. The closeness was welcome and I Alfred back in my arms.
"You bloody wankers! Let me go!" he shouted, annunciating each word.
"Kesese. Calm down eyebvows!" We all laughed and I nuzzled in Alfred's chest.
"Thank you," I murmured so softly even he had a hard time hearing. "For coming back and trying." He grinned and kissed my forehead.
"Welcome hun. I love you."
"Love you too Al."