Nox: Hello my geeks - in every sense of the word! I bring you this, the scars of Maryl. Or, as it rings through me, the resonant feelings that echo from them. It's a slow build, like ripples on water. So I hope you'll stay awhile and see where it goes.
Disclaimer: The Walking Dead belongs to Kirkman and AMC.
Home
It was hard to watch him through the chain link fence. He was there, just in her reach, but she couldn't touch.
The world was playing a cruel joke on her. First it takes out Axel, who she was growing fond of. He was a simple man, was able to make her smile when she hadn't felt like she could. When the one person she had wanted to be there, wasn't.
Because he'd chosen to leave.
Then by some miracle or luck, they'd come back. They'd come back.
There was nothing to be happy about though. Daryl and Rick were locked outside the gate, out there, where it was unsafe. Away from the group, in the middle of the herd of walkers.
Away from her.
It was starting to become a physical pain in her stomach, the ache of watching them pace out there. Trying to figure out how to get inside.
Never mind the fact that they had to kill each and every walker that came within distance. She knew Rick didn't have any bullets left in his gun, because he'd not been using it. Was probably best that he didn't use it either, so they didn't attract the attention.
And Merle, he was throwing his weight around like he was important. But he wasn't actually doing anything. She could see it from here. Daryl was doing most of the killing, taking out walkers left and right. Rick was tiring quickly, his body slow. Merle was just being a lazy asshole.
And they were just sitting there, watching them. Not doing anything.
"We can let him in," Glenn argued from behind her, for the sixth time. She clutched the metal links tightly, and grit her teeth. They'd been arguing about it for the past two hours and it was starting to give her a headache. If there was one thing she'd learned, it was that when they argued, it got them nowhere.
It got them dead with their pants around their ankles.
But she wasn't going to wait around anymore for them to suck up their pride and get them back in here.
It was Rick. It was Daryl for god's sake. They shouldn't even be debating it. Didn't matter what one more person made. She knew what Merle had done, but to condemn Rick and Daryl to a fate that they all thought Merle deserved was outrageous. It was against what they did as humans.
She wasn't going to stand for it.
"We can't just leave them out there son," Hershel countered back, shifting on his crutches. Maggie went over and helped him to one of the bleachers, guiding him there. He never took his eyes from Glenn's, his gaze steady.
They were the only two fighting about it now. Maggie had given up trying to reason with Glenn. The moment she'd tried to say anything, he'd give her this look, and what had passed between the two was something only they both understood.
Beth had run back inside to check on Jude and Carol had left her to it. She couldn't stop from looking at him, just waiting there.
Carl had tried to enter the conversation but he was quickly over-talked. She felt bad for him. Rick was out there, and no one was even thinking about that.
She had to admit, neither was she.
"But it's Merle. We let him in, and we're asking for trouble. What he did, what he let happen…" Hershel sighed, and rubbed his hand along his face.
She had no doubt that Merle deserved a fate worse than some walkers dinner. But that wasn't something for them decide. He'd come back with Daryl, he'd saved Rick. He'd made a choice to face his fate.
She couldn't deny, that made her just a little curious about him.
"We can't just leave my dad out there," Carl said softly, eyes peering through the chain links as well. He looked up at her, and she could just see the flash of panic across his eyes.
He'd been doing so much with his father gone, and even now, he was trying to keep his head above water. Trying not to be scared for what the group might ultimately decide.
"But if we bring Merle in here, we can't push him out again. Once he's in, he's-" She turned on her heel, the anger and the adrenaline from before hitting her in a flash. She wasn't going to sit there and let Rick and Daryl suffer because of one man's sins. She wasn't going to let one boy be pushed around because they couldn't suck up their insecurities and deal with it.
"Then we deal with it," she barked. "Rick and Daryl are out there," she said, pointing to their distant figures pacing against the fence. She could just barely make out their voices, the distinct difference between Rick and Merle making her nervous.
Daryl was hanging back, letting Merle and Rick dance it out. She didn't like the way he did that, let Merle lead the way. Daryl had grown so much while he was with them, had become so strong.
And now that Merle was back, it was suddenly apparent just what was going to happen to him now.
He was going to change. Change back into who he used to be.
"And we aren't going to let them die out there by some goddamn walkers," she breathed, letting the curse fall from her lips in anger, the feeling good, "or get captured or killed by the Governor because we think we can't deal with Merle Dixon. He's a man for god's sake. Not a damn demon." And she gripped the rifle in her hand, turned away from them all and headed for the gate where the walkers had started to congregate. She was done playing this game.
"Carol, wait!"
She kept walking, ignoring Glenn running up behind her.
"What if Merle starts a fight, what if he-" She turned her head sharply, glaring at Glenn now. She was serious, when she meant she wasn't going to wait any longer. She was going to get them inside the prison, even if she had to do it by herself.
"What if he what's Glenn? Shoves another walker on you? Attempts to hurt Maggie or Beth? Tries to kill Jude?" She stopped at the gate, the walker hands reaching in, trying to grab hold of her. Glenn pursed his lips, not taking his eyes from her. She could feel the others just behind them, watching, waiting.
"We're all here Glenn," she said, throwing her arms out to her sides, the frustration breaking her. "This time, we can protect each other." He still didn't look convinced, still looked as if he wanted to leave them out there.
She was still going to throw that gate open whether they were ready for it or not.
"I don't presume to know Merle Dixon," she said, drawing her shoulders up, "but he got what he wanted. Daryl." She looked through the fence, her eyes finding Daryl again. He had his head down, gripping the crossbow slung across his chest. She wanted him inside. She wanted him back where he belonged. Out there, with Merle, he was vulnerable. Out there, she couldn't be with him.
She bit her lip, fisting her hand at her side, nails digging into her palm.
"If there's one thing we all should know it's that family comes first in this godforsaken world. Even for a man like him." She took hold of the lock keeping the gate closed. She slung the gun across her shoulders and pulled her knife out of her pocket, looking at it hard.
"He's not going to jeopardize that, now that he's got it. He came back here, didn't he?" She looked Glenn in the eye. "Even though he knows just how much Michonne wants to kill him? How much you want to kill him?" She reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently, pleading with him, with her eyes.
She smiled a little. "We're going to have to have a little faith in him, no matter how much we may despise his character. He's Daryl's family. And we can't fault him for that." Though she knew that the sins of his past were things he was going to have pay for, were things he was going to have to make up for. She wasn't going to let Merle push Daryl around anymore. Wasn't going to let Daryl let Merle stomp all over him.
She'd gotten lucky when the world had taken Ed away from her. And Daryl, well, she wasn't sure what Daryl wanted when it came to Merle. His death, or his life. But either way, she'd make sure that he didn't get his heart trampled in the process.
They were his family now. And it was going to stay that way. No matter what Merle wanted, Daryl was staying. No questions asked.
"What if he hurts Daryl?" Glenn asked softly, sounding like he was trying just one more time to fend off the inevitable.
She felt her shoulders drop, just a little.
The problem was, that he'd already hurt Daryl. She didn't have to hear the words, to see the scars, to hear Daryl say it, to know. She could see it in the way he let Merle walk before him, in the way he let Merle talk over him.
She could see it in the way he let his eyes fall to the ground, like he wasn't worthy of holding his head up.
She knew that look, like she knew the backs of her own hands.
Ed had made her feel that way their entire marriage.
That was why she would be there, no matter what. That was why she wanted to get them back inside the prison at all costs. She would help him stand up to Merle, however she could.
"Daryl's got two fists, don't he?" she said, smiling. Glenn watched her, shifted on his feet. He worried his bottom lip, and then grimaced.
"And he's got his family," she said softly, eyes meeting his, telling him with that look that they would all be there for him.
Glenn sighed then, throwing up his arms in defeat.
"If he touches one hair on Maggie-" She smiled, grabbing his arm to stop him.
"I think Maggie can handle herself, don't you?" He looked like he was about to say something more, turned back to look at Maggie who was looking at him with raised brows, and then threw his arms up again.
"Fine!" He stomped over to Maggie and took the metal pipe out of her hands, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. She watched them exchange some words, Glenn running his fingers down the side of her cheek. She smiled at him softly, reaching forward to give him another kiss. Just the other day they'd been fighting, and now.
Now it was like the Governor's attack had brought them back together. She only wished it had done the same for her and Daryl.
Close, she thought. So close.
"It's the right choice son," Hershel nodded, and then started to limp back to the prison, disappearing back inside.
"Let's do this," Carl announced, pulling out his gun, coming to stand next to her. He nodded at her, a flash of gratitude lighting up his eyes.
She smiled and placed her hand over his shoulder, squeezing once. "We'll get him back," she murmured. But she wasn't sure if she was saying it for him, or for herself.
"Alright, we do this, we do it my way," Glenn announced, coming up behind them, Maggie and Michonne following. Carol watched the black woman, her hard eyes narrowed dangerously.
She approached her, calmly.
"Will you be able to do this?" Michonne watched her, silent for a heavy moment, eyes calculating.
"Do I have a choice?" she said evenly, her voice tight.
Carol looked away, back at the others outside the fence, and saw that they were watching them now.
"I suppose not," she said back, turning to face her once more. "I wish…" she had started to say something, but thought better of it. She could see the glint in the woman's eyes, knew it wasn't the right thing to say to her.
She reached out, hesitantly, and touched the woman's arm gently.
"I know what it means, you staying here to fight with us." She pulled away just as fast as she touched her, not wanting to make her any more uncomfortable than she might already be.
"That means a lot to us, even if we may not show it. Means a lot to me," she finished, finding those hard eyes again, and seeing something faint in them. Something like understanding.
But the woman just grabbed her sword and approached the gate, ready to face what she looked born to do.
"Let's just get this finished," she said tightly.
Glenn grabbed the lock, the pipe in his other hand.
"Carl, Carol, you bring up the rear. Lock the gate behind you. Maggie, Michonne and I will go first, work our way outward. We stick together. We stay close," he said forcefully, meeting each of their eyes. She nodded.
She didn't like the idea of being in the back, but she knew that the others had far more experience, more strength than she did. All that mattered was that she get to him.
All that mattered was that he find his way back home.
Where he belonged.
She gripped the fence, the walker hands sliding over hers, their teeth and moans gnashing in her face. But she didn't care. Just watched him, while he watched them.
"Let's bring them home," she whispered.
A/N: So tell me you think.
Your reviews would be wonderful.