A/N: well this is my attempt at TWD fanfic and a Daryl story, there will be Shane/oc either in another story or in the next chapter. I'm still making my mind. I tried to do Daryl justice but all feedback is appreciated. I took a bit of creative license with Daryl's background…So yeah, please let me know what you think. I also wanted to post this before Nebraska aired because then I can take it in a direction different to the show. We'll see more of Isabella and her brother in future but for this chapter he's just being named…this chapter is unedited so excuse any mistakes…
Disclaimer: I own Nada…well I own Isabella and Christopher I suppose. The title 'Hell of a Season' belongs to The Black Keys…
I watched Daryl crouch beside Merle and let out a sigh, he'd already had to deal with the loss of his brother once. He raised the gun he was holding; aiming it at the fallen walker that was once his big brother, a shaky finger on the trigger.
"I'm sorry Brother" he said quietly before he pulled the trigger, a single tear rolling down his cheek.
I knelt beside him placing a hand on his arm, he wasn't one for physical contact but he needed to know that someone was there…that I was there. Trying to convince him that someone cared enough to talk to him and appreciate him had been hard enough these last few weeks. He'd pushed both myself and Carol away, telling us both how worthless he was. The guilt of Sophia's death had taken over any thought he'd ever had about being good. We'd had more than a couple of arguments over it.
"Seriously Daryl, that wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault! She was a victim of this messed up world. You couldn't stop it from happening just like you couldn't stop what happened to Merle" Bringing Merle in was a little low on my part "No Daryl, you need to stop blaming yourself for god's sake, this isn't your fault. We're out here in a world full of the fucking living dead, they did this." I found myself yelling back at him
"You don't know a damn thing about any of this shit. Just leave me the hell alone you dumb bitch" he yelled as I followed him to the motorcycle, I was a bit too stubborn for my own good sometimes
"Don't make me tell you to leave me the fuck alone again Isabella, go back and tell Carol that I want you to both to stay the fuck away from me" he cut any argument I had off as he kick started his motorcycle and took off, speeding away from the farm.
He'd eventually come back looking just as angry as before, he sure held a grudge. We hadn't spoken properly since then and it had been bothering me. Apart from my brother and Carol he was one of the few people I liked to talk too. My thoughts drifted back to the body in front of us, I found myself disturbed by the notion that I was glad for Merles death; I hadn't really known Merle to think much about him but the things Daryl told me about him and how he treated his brother were not for the faint hearted and I found myself resenting him for making Daryl feel like less of a person. His death allowed Daryl to move on, or at least I hoped he would move on.
Daryl and I stayed in the same position for a long time, I hadn't dared to move or talk out of fear that he'd snap back to reality and unleash his anger on the people who'd essentially caused this. At one point or another Rick had bought a blanket over to cover Merle with but I'd made sure he didn't attempt it and taken the blanket from him. In the state Daryl was in he'd probably kill him for even coming near his brother had he have noticed Ricks presence. After a while It seemed like it had been long enough that it would be safe to attempt to get Daryl moving.
"Daryl…" I said quietly almost afraid to break the silence, he turned his head to look at me and his eyes were blood shot and swollen from the crying he'd been doing "We should bury him" I suggested, tilting my head toward Merle "They already dug a grave for him" I added.
Daryl responded with a simple nod of agreement, I was surprised; Daryl always had something to say. He got to his feet and watched as I placed the blanket over Merle, I was sad to see another person who'd been turned into a monster, no one deserved the loss of their humanity.
Daryl bent down to wrap the blanket around Merle before picking his lower half up by the legs and dragging him toward the grave the others had dug; rolling his brother into it he wore a stoic mask that showed little emotion. I was surprised at how little care he took of his brother's body.
"Always thought Merle'd be the one ta kill me" Daryl spoke quietly as he got to his feet again "he'd be pissed tha' I killed him and tha' some damn walker bit him. 'Parently he didn't have the guts ta 'opt out' as Doctor Jenner called it" he let out a bitter laugh.
"truth be tol' he was a damn coward underneath it all, still loved the dumb son o' a bitch. The bastard took care of me when Pa backed out." Too bad Merles idea of 'Care' came from his fists, I found myself thinking silently. "I reckon he served as an example of what I didn't want ta be. Always said I was weak an' I was never good 'nough for him but when the world turned to shit and the dead started eatin' the living…I suddenly mattered" he paused for moment picking up one of the shovels, as he did so, I found myself wondering if he actually realised he was talking
"I'm still gon' miss the rotten Son o' a bitch. Good tah know he aint out there no more." He shovelled the first bit of dirt into the grave as I followed his lead. Soon the grave was filled and we were both covered in sweat, I looked at Daryl unsure of what to say.
"I'm still pissed at yah Isa" he hissed at me before storming toward his bike pushing it toward the old farmhouse the group had decided to stay in for the night. It was about 20 miles away from Hershels farm.
"Don't care whether you're pissed or not, you're sharing' a room with me cause nobody wants tah get in your way" I said following him into the house "so you better get over it soon"
"Things would be easier if ya stayed away like the others" he grumbled, turning to give me a glare as we reached the room we were sharing
"I would but you don't scare me and if I annoy yah enough maybe you'll finally get over your problems with me just to get me to stop" I answered back, I wasn't really sure how I ended up feeling so playful all things considered. I sat on the end of my bed pulling my combat boots off along with my socks. Daryl pulled the covers back and kicking his boots off and got into the bed getting annoyingly comfortable in the middle.
"Wow, what a gentlemen." I rolled my eyes in his general direction
"I'm only a gentleman to women." He hissed almost playfully as he pulled the blankets up around himself
"well prince charming, this woman ain't sleeping on the floor. Move your ass over." I rounded the bed and pulled the covers back, shoving him back to his side of the bed before getting in.
"Jus' don't hog all of the damn bed" that was the pot calling the kettle black, I watched as he rolled onto his side facing away from me, he was always trying to shut the people who care about him out
"Would you please just talk to me?" I huffed, I tended to be more stubborn than this but the situation had changed drastically. Letting him to hold a pointless grudge against wasn't worth it.
"What do you want to talk about?" he mumbled as he turned to face me "do you want ta talk about the fact tha' you still have your damn brotha' when I had ta shoot mine earlier?" his voice rose with every word, he sounded bitter and upset
"why don't we talk about the fact tha' you won't leave me the hell alone and how you're always in the damn way." It was like a bucket of ice cold water to the face, I wasn't sure why his words hurt so much this time, and he'd said the same thing several times. This time it seemed like he meant it "how about you just leave me the hell alone and go the fuck to sleep"
"Well then I guess I should leave you to it. I was just trying to make things good so you knew that you had someone. But I'm not going to stick around with someone who doesn't want me there." I picked up my bag and my combat boots before opening my door and making my way toward the room my brother was sharing with Glenn. I was about to knock on the door when I heard loud snoring coming from the other side of it.
I huffed and went to the small living room ready to sleep on the couch, I'd wanted to talk to one or both of them but I guess the couch and loneliness was it for me.
"Daryl, kick you out?" Carols quiet voice startled me
"something like that" I sighed
"he cares about you…he just doesn't know what to do." She offered with a smile "come stay with me, my room has two beds."
She took the bag from me and led me to the small room she had chosen for herself. Carol and I had become quite close since Chris and I had arrived, she reminded me of our nanny in so many ways. I think that was why Chris stayed away, he tended to try and forget while I tried to keep the memories alive. Our nanny had taken the place of our parents who were always too busy for us, she was more of a mother two us then ours ever was.
She was ready to take me under her wing as soon as I joined the group, even after Sophia came out that barn she stuck close to me. When he allowed it Carol also provided Daryl with the motherly love he'd missed out on. I stood in front of the small bright pink mirror that obviously once belonged to a child and pulled my long auburn hair out of its pony tail brushing my fingers through it, I was too tired to take the time to brush it.
"Every time Daryl tries to push you away, you never leave, what changed?" Carol met my eyes in the mirror as she sat down on the bed that was considered hers for the night.
"He seemed like he meant it, usually it's just his way of acknowledging my presence." I had to wonder if I'd over reacted. I knew Daryl needed some time to himself so this was probably good for the both of us.
"Just remember emotions are running high for him and he never talks about it so it's probably just a carry on from that" Carol suggested, she was right and I almost felt guilty for leaving him "he does need the time to himself though, so he can grieve properly without having to hide his emotions from you…"
"You're right Ma" I smiled a little, approaching my bag and fishing through it, I eventually found what I was looking for. I pulled out my favourite soft toy that I'd had from when I was 5, it was a toy dog, that I'd named Rusty. Rusty had always been a form of comfort for me, if I'd had something on my mind when I was little I'd carried him around and up until the world ended I'd slept with him every night.
I went to the bed that was mine for the night, climbing under the covers. This whole thing with Daryl was especially on my mind, I knew he probably wasn't as angry as he had been but I was afraid that he'd up and leave if he and I weren't talking. I'd been instantly drawn to Daryl, much to his dismay at first (and probably now.) Once I'd shown him that I was no threat to him and I didn't intend on causing much trouble he opened up, two days ago he'd finally told me what Merle had done to him.
"the first time he hit me I was 12, Pa had come to visit and chewed Merle out for not taking good care of me, Ironic really since he left 2 years 'fore that" he scoffed at the thought "he slapped my brother over the head an' told he better have sorted things out the next time he visits. By then my brother was about 18 and had already started taking drugs…before I knew what was happening he was on top of me punching and slapping me yellin' 'bout how I needed to fix things, thinkin' back I reckon he was probably high, but at 12 years old I didn't know the difference" he let out a shaky breath. "From then on he found a reason to hit me or burn me almos' everyday, telling me how I wasn't good enough and no one but him cared, I believed him too. Pa had well an' truly up an' left when I was 13, figured he didn't give a shit about me an' that Merle was right. By the time I was 15 I was covered in scars but big enough to fight back. His abuse soon turned into fist fights, we'd almost kill each other, I got my first criminal record for assault at 16 when a neighbour called the police on us, Merle managed to convince the cop tha' I was just as bad as 'im and tha' I started the fight. It continued for while with a continuous cycle of Merle goin' to prison for all sorts of charges, getting out fighting with me and then me in juvie for assault and then eventually prison." He took a deep breath as I noticed he was shaking "When I was about 18 I had enough money to move out. So I moved into a small house on the other side of town. By then everyone thought the Dixon brothers were trouble but me, I was just trying to survive, to defend mahself; no one ever gave me a chance to explain. I mean I know I have a bad temper but that only really got bad once this damn apocalypse started. I aint nothin' like Merle though, he's the opposite of what I want tah be, but he's still ma brother and I stuck close to him. Even when I moved I still visited him, we would go hunting together, drinking and surprisingly enough no real fighting, I suppose that's cause I was big enough an' ugly enough to cause damage to Merle"
Carol and I were the only ones who knew about Merles abuse of Daryl, the others had seen his scars after he injured himself and I was sure they'd all probably put two and two together but none of them were keen to mention it. I hoped for their sake that the night simmered Daryl's temper down, I knew he'd probably resent Rick and the others but I was fairly sure he wouldn't act on it; he'd just be more broody.
"He'll be okay Isabella" Carol tried to reassure "he's been to hell and back lately and he's still surviving, he's tough, at one point he told me no one could kill Merle but Merle but I reckon that term applies to Daryl instead." She smiled and got up from the bed making her way over to me
"just get some rest Isabella." I felt like I was a child again as she tucked me in, but I really didn't mind it. I tossed and turned for the next few hours before finally falling asleep.
I woke up to the sound of whispering in the morning, I knew exactly who it was as I listened in
"it aint fair Daryl, you shouldn't take your emotions out on Isabella" Carol hissed
"I know, I came ta see if she was alright. I snapped and then she was gone, I was expectin' her to come back"
"well you best apologize because that girl thinks tha world of you and you best not lose her." I opened my eyes slowly and turned to face them raising an eyebrow at the two of them.
"Morning" I pulled the sheet up hiding my smile
"Good Morning Isabella" Carol said over enthusiastically "I best go see how breakfast is going" and with that she not so subtly left Daryl and I alone.
I stayed in the same position looking up at Daryl, he knelt beside the bed so our faces were level "I'm sorry Isa, I was an asshole to ya an' you didn't deserve it for once" he ended up smirking, and I began to wonder what sort of an apology this was.
"s'alright Daryl, you'd had a tough day" I smiled "lets just get back to normal."
Before I could even process another thought his lips were on mine, it was just a soft peck on the lips that I barely felt. I looked at Daryl trying to gauge his mood; he was new to this sort of thing from what I knew about him and he seemed like the tap and run type. It was easier just to have meaningless sex and run then to worry about emotions, something he fought not to show anyone.
I leant over the edge of the bed bringing my lips to his in a longer more sensual kiss. Before either of us really knew what was going on he was hovering over me on the bed, as our tongues fought for dominance. His calloused hands skimmed my sides, as the world around us was all but forgotten.
Suddenly the sound of someone clearing their throat had us breaking apart and snapping back to reality. I looked up to find Carol standing there with her hands on her hips, an amused smile upon her lips and a twinkle in her eyes.
"Now that I have your attention, breakfast is ready" she chuckled, I felt my cheeks burning and I had no doubt that Daryl would bolt in a minute. She left the room as I took hold of Daryl's arm before he had a chance to leave
"Does this change anything?" I questioned, asking the question left me completely nervous.
"na, you jus' go back ta being annoying an' I'll go back to actin' like you're annoying me…" he left the room and left me confused. I realised he probably wasn't ready for anything more than friendship but I hoped like hell that he would be before the world outside got either of us.
I huffed and got to my feet changing into whatever clothes didn't smell and went down to join everyone for breakfast, I sat between Carol and Daryl not entirely sure what to say or do. I picked at my food too preoccupied by Daryl's rash behaviour; his hand took mine under the table, as if he was trying to keep a secret. If I didn't know Daryl I'd probably be feeling rather insulted and rejected but I realized he was trying to let his actions speak louder than words.