"Tell me about him."
Roy turned his head to look at Edward in the darkness. What little light came from their bedroom window illuminated the mess of golden hair and curious bright eyes. The question made his chest tight, his heart ache. This was one of those things that they really didn't talk about. Both of them knew it had been there, both of them loved Maes Hughes for very drastically different reasons, both of them leaned on each other when the ache of his absence became too much. But Roy found himself at a loss for words. They never talked about this.
Ed gave an apologetic smile when the silence lasted longer than he expected. He hadn't meant to put Roy on the spot, didn't want to make his husband uncomfortable. But this was something he cared about, and some days the sadness really got to him. Ed wanted him to know that he could let some of that out, didn't have to feel guilty. The younger alchemist could be irrational and unreasonable, quite often in fact, but this was something he'd never hold against Roy.
Mustang took a breath and Ed touched a metal finger to his lips, quietly expanding on the request. "Don't really hafta talk about the good husband or the doting father," he murmured. "Y'really can tell me about the parts of him that were yours, before Gracia, before me. Doesn't hafta be now either, but…y'can. Okay?" When Roy nodded, Ed moved his hand again and replaced the cool caress of steel with the warmth of his lips in a reassuring kiss.
"I don't know where to start…" Roy said, the words tentative and unsure.
"Don't care where y'start. Tell me anything."
"I gave him hell for being taller. But he knew I didn't mind. In fact, I liked it. There was something that felt…safe about being in his arms. Like nothing could touch me."
Ed could relate, and it showed in his smile. It was often how he felt when Roy held him, but he never admitted it out loud.
"He was even more crafty than I was, always working on things in the background, always looking out for me. My hand in the shadow. He carried so much on his shoulders. I always felt like he handled the guilt and the hardships of being in service so much better than I did."
"Tell me how it started."
"Academy," came the reply, followed by a rueful laugh. "We hated each other at first; we were always fighting to see who was better."
"Y'know, I'm startin' to see a pattern." The glare Roy shot him had no heat, and Ed only laughed at it. "Am I wrong?"
Roy ignored the question. "One day, he was just there in the heat of a fight, and just when I thought I was going to hate him more than I already did, he surprised me. And that was probably the beginning of the end. The first night I snuck into his dorm, he pinned me to the bed and I'd never felt so good in my life."
Ed leaned over and kissed him again. "I know how that feels." He paused, then stole another kiss before speaking again. "Don't hold it back from me, Roy. I know how you felt about him. It's not like I think you're thinkin' any less of me because y'loved him first."
"I'm also not—"
Ed shushed him with his finger again. "Not replacin' him with me. I know. Y'can't. We're two totally different people. Love don't have to be about who's next in line or fillin' a gap we aren't meant t'fill. But he was a part of your life, and he was a part of mine. I don't wanna lose that just because we both had the hottest common denominator in Amestris at our mercy." He grinned.
"Who's usually at whose mercy?" Roy asked with a quirked brow.
"Shhh, the details don't matter." Ed moved so that he was straddling the general's hips. "There's mercy an' a lotta hot name-callin' goin' on, that's all that matters." He leaned down, touching his forehead to Roy's.
"I love you." Roy was usually the first to break and say it. He knew how hard those words were for Ed to say.
"Equivalent. An' somewhere out there, some scary-ass, picture-totin' bastard knew this was gonna happen. So let's not disappoint him, huh?"