Chapter One:
I am in Death Note. Yeah. That's right jealous Otakus. Death. Note. I have no idea why I was granted this odd gift, but that's the gist of things right now. I'm looking at the proof of me being in Death Note right now. A giant T.V. Screen playing, "Kira Strikes Again!". Cuss. I have no idea what to do.
For some odd reason, my clothes even changed from my usual shorts, sneakers, and pikachu shirt. You have anything against Pikachu? No? Good. Although I hate Diamond and Pearl and Black and White. Where's the bike? And where the fudge is Brock?
Crap! I just noticed right now. I'm flat chested. Even if I'm a tomboy, I have boobs. Cuss. I'm a guy. CussCussCussCuss. Various cuss words are circulating in my mind at this moment in the form of... that's right. Cuss.
I'm sitting on a park bench right now. What the cuss should I do? I could go to Yagami... haha. Did you notice that if you spell 'Yagami' backwards, then you get... I'm a gay. I can't believe I didn't notice that until I read a fan fiction. Did the creator of Death Note do this on purpose when he made that name and chained Light and L together? So many questions. So little answers. Wait. If I turned into a guy here... does that mean I'm a gay... I am so not going on to that topic.
I guess I could help Light in his quest for world domination... but he'll probably kill me after this is all over. I could go to L... he'll probably think I'm Kira. But then again, if he does imprison me in that huge percentage... it'll probably just be for a five weeks or something like Light.
I'm not a big Death Note fan. What the cuss should I do? I'm not saying Death Note isn't a good anime. I think it's amazing actually, but when L died. Cuss it. I'm not doing this. L was the only reason for it being amazing to me. And Watari. Why would they kill the butler? That's like killing off Sebastion from Kuroshitsuji. WHY? I can so picture Watari flying around and killing people with forks...
I'm sure people are staring at me right now. Who wouldn't? A very tall guy sitting on a park bench looking as if Death just said 'Good morning' to him. Seriously. My legs were spread apart, my arms relaxed against my sides and my head leaning over behind the bench. I really looked like Death came over.
Cuss this. I stood from the bench shocking many people who were staring at me for five minutes and marched around looking for the police headquarters where I could find L. Maybe I should look for a bathroom to see what I should look like, but like I said earlier. Cuss it.
Where the cuss is this cussing police headquarters? I've been walking around for... five minutes and I can't seem to find it. Oh wait. There it is! Note to self: You don't magically appear at your destination in two seconds.