Author's Note: This is my first Closer fic and it's nothing too serious. It just randomly popped into my head one night after running to the gas station at 1 AM to pick up Hohos, Twinkies, and red bulls with my best friend. This is total and utter nonsense so enjoy!
The morning had begun as usual on a slow sunny day in LA. The Priority Homicide Division had taken their time flowing into the office one by one thanks to the fact that they had just closed up a particularly nasty and time consuming case the night before and nothing new had landed on their Chief's desk yet. While the members of the team all looked to be hard at work with paper work Lieutenant Gabriel was the only one to actually attempt to use what little focus he had this early in the morning. Sanchez and Tao were in the middle of a collaborative game of online chess, Flynn stared blankly at his computer screen while from time to time taking a long sip from his coffee cup, and Provenza was looking up a few more than questionable web sites.
The men were content with their separate activities happy to believe that this day, this one special day being a first in quite a long time could actually turn out to be a day of rest and relaxation. This magical thought was suddenly and violently shattered by the imaginary screams of the doors hinges as it slammed open and a flash of blonde came rushing through the door.
The entire team jumped at the sudden interruption and eyes widened to take in the sights before them. Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson looked like one disheveled mess of a woman that the men had never seen. Her arms are barely able to hold the massive pile of folders and stray papers. A single pink heeled shoe acts as a topper to the pile and if one looked close enough it was possible to see the new mouth the heel had.
Brenda stomped all the way into her office mumbling inaudible phrases and random words to herself with a slight limp and as soon as she gracefully dumped all her belongings haphazardly on to her desk, the door had slammed shut. A silence was cast over the office room while the occupants looked back and forth to one another. Finally Gabriel decided to break the spell.
"Should one of us …. I don't know… go say… something?" The looks he received told him that he belonged in a psyche ward instead of at his desk.
"Did you just wake up stupid?" Provenza commented.
Any comebacks were put on hold for in that next second an even more disheveled and worse for wear Agent Howard came slumping in the door with a pair of women's tennis shoes dangling from his left hand. The look on his face reminded them of a kicked puppy dog, but Provenza knew that look a little too well.
"I know that look," he said looking back down at his computer, "Apologize profusely, buy a couple hundred chocolate bars, and take her out for her favorite meal".
Fritz looked up with an almost pathetic look to his face.
"I don't think that's gunna fix it this time," he replied.
Captain Raydor chose this moment to join their little party. In her hand she held a pair of black pumps.
"Oh you're here," she said to Fritz, "I got a call from Chief Johnson asking to borough a pair of shoes since her idiot husband was taking his precious time". She explained with her trade mark smirk.
"What exactly did you DO to get her so riled up?" Flynn asks.
Fritz sighed deeply before beginning his tale of woe.
"Last night she called me on her way home saying you guys had finally closed that damn case and that she was too tired to cook so I should order a pizza. I figured I'd do something nice for her and cook dinner myself. You know, surprise her, but … I forgot to turn the timer on. It kinda burned… and smoked up the place, even set the smoke alarm off. I just gave up and ordered the damn pizza but I was hungry so… I ate one of her Ding Dongs," Fritz stopped to look guiltily down at the floor. A collective groan echoed across the room. "That's not all…. I didn't exactly notice….that….it was the last one in the box".
The last part came out in a rush all at once but the damage had been done. Loud exclamations of "NOOOO" echoed once again around office. They each gave him pitying looks as Fritz had his eyes trained back on the floor. Raydor stood slightly behind him trying her best to keep the laughter from escaping.
Suddenly Chief Johnson strolled out of her office and straight up to her husband. She looked as though she had considerably calmed down.
"Oh Fritzy I'm sorry I over reacted. I was just stressed and over tired. Can you forgive me?"
Fritz's face lit up like a child's as he insisted the fight was his entire fault and that he was going to make it up to her tonight. He left soon after that to begin his plans with his wife cheerfully waving goodbye behind him.
Raydor sidled up to Brenda, grin in place and a playful look in her eye.
"So what did YOU do?" Raydor asked barely containing her laughter.
Brenda looked at her with a look of innocence that was quickly squashed with a raise of Raydor's eye brow.
"I may have accidentally run over his golf clubs this morning on my rush into work," She mumbled but the whole unit had heard. Raydor lost control and laughed her way out of the office back to her own.
Provenza shook his head. "And that's why I'm divorced".