I saw the Paleyfest video of Chris accidentally giving a spoiler about Kurt returning to McKinley. After a few days and more browsing, I read an article of Falchuk (not sure, I can't find the article anymore) saying that the upcoming distance in the Klaine relationship will be the hardest struggle that Klaine will encounter, with regard to their relationship. So this little plot bunny, of how Kurt will confront Blaine that he's transferring back to McKinley, surfaced in my head.
I own nothing of Glee. If I did own the rights of Glee, I'd make a warblers spin-off and everything will be about Klaine... and nothing will hurt.
I did, however, mention some lyrics of the song Taught Me How to Breathe (it's the fic's title, too) from the upcoming musical Allegiance. It is sang by Telly Leung (yes, he's the adorable warbler Wes)and Allie Trimm. You can search it up in YouTube.
Taught Me How to Breathe
Kurt was lying, head on a pillow, on the Dalton living room sofa that afternoon. It was dusk, nearing nighttime, and he didn't bother leaving for home yet. He was staring at the cobwebs on the corner of the ceiling. The school janitor might have been too preoccupied with checking every nook of the place for scattered paper that weren't seen after every Warbler rehearsal. That Misery number was a pain. After every run, the warblers had to pick up the pieces of paper & give them back to Blaine for another run. Not to mention, they had to rearrange the tables for the table-smashing routine.
Kurt can clearly see the sun outside the window as it slowly sinks down. He was staring at it for quite some time now. Seeing it move lower, seeing it casting its rays from the center table until it reaches the carpeted floor and fades into nothing. Now, it's definitely nighttime. Kurt is still in the Dalton living room lying on the sofa oh so comfortably.
His phone rang. It was a text from Finn. The message went, "Hey, Kurt. It's past the usual school hours and you're not home yet. Burt is getting worried. What's keeping you busy at Dalton anyway?"
Kurt just stared at the text message. He didn't bother replying. He'll get home when he gets home. Transferring to Dalton gave him that new sense of independence. The ambiance of no discrimination among the students is perfect for him and he needed that, what with all the locker-shoving and dumpster-throwing treatment he had at McKinley.
The Dalton Warblers. They are such kind people to Kurt. Accepted him immediately after he transferred to Dalton. They proved to him that he can survive without the McKinley High glee club.
But they weren't just the McKinley High glee club. They were his best friends. They were the ones who accepted him when no one else did. They were his family. By that moment, the living room door opened. It was Blaine. He was talking with Wes outside, finishing their conversation.
Blaine the door when he entered. "I got your text." He walked to where Kurt was lying. "Warbler meeting just ended. What's the matter? Why didn't you attend?"
Kurt smiled awkwardly, that awkward smirk he uses in awkward situations like during the talk with Burt.
Kurt sat up to give Blaine some space to sit. Blaine noticed the difference in Kurt's behavior. "I told Wes that-"
"Don't worry. I informed him I'll be absent in today's meeting." Kurt cut in.
Blaine raised an eyebrow. "Okay... So you told Wes… and you didn't tell me?"
Kurt looked up. "Yeah. I'm sorry."
"Kurt." Blaine moved closer beside Kurt. "You're worrying me. What's wrong?" Blaine waited for Kurt to respond while Kurt was obviously prolonging the silence. Blaine took Kurt's right hand with his. Kurt reciprocated by interlacing his fingers with Blaine's. Kurt raised his head up to look at Blaine, who has this worried expression however trying to force a smile.
"You remember the first time we met?" Kurt broke the tension, while tightening his hold on Blaine's hand.
"I couldn't forget it even if I wanted to." Blaine reclined his back on the sofa. Pulling Kurt near him. Kurt looked at him for a moment and rested his head on Blaine's shoulder.
"Well, me neither." A pause. "And do you remember what my main motive was?"
"For coming here at Dalton? Yeah. You were spying on us Warblers." Blaine chuckled. "But I told you. I didn't believe in that. I knew there was a deeper motive."
"Puckerman made me do it. He told me to spy on you guys."
Blaine can't help but smile after hearing that confession. "Well, I guess the warblers better thank Puck for doing that. He gave us a share of their glee club's talent. A prized possession."
Both of them chuckled this time, and Blaine added, "I should thank him for doing that." Blaine paused. Testing how Kurt would react to what he said. Kurt just remained quiet though, still listening to what Blaine may add. "I met you and we shared our moments together. " That time, Blaine was the one to tighten his grip on Kurt's hand.
Kurt smiled and leaned even closer to Blaine, if that was even possible. "What made you think that me spying on you guys wasn't the real reason why I came here?" A change of subject.
Blaine sighed. "Well, for one thing, you had that air in you that you needed Dalton, that you needed to enroll here with us. Good thing you did though. I'm guessing it was the best choice of your life?"
Blaine could get a little cocky sometimes. Kurt remembered that moment when he said the line "Blaine and the pips", and seeing the look at Blaine's face when he heard it. He didn't react to what Blaine said. He just remained still and only his heavy breathing can be heard.
"Kurt, I was just kidding." Blaine chuckled. No response.
"Kurt, what in darn blazes is wrong? You've been off for days and I'm not used to seeing you like that." Agitation can be heard on Blaine's voice. "Kurt, tell me what's bothering you, please? You can tell me anything and I won't judge you, you know that."
"Blaine, I want to go back to McKinley." Kurt stopped breathing and waited for Blaine to say something. When Kurt looked up, he saw Blaine looking at him, too. His eyes telling Kurt that he's processing what Kurt said.
"Well, okay. We can visit them tomorrow after school. I'll tell Wes and David we'll skip Warbler practice so we can visit McKinley." Blaine said.
Kurt smiled. He held Blaine's hand with both of his now. "No, Blaine. That's not what I meant." Kurt sat up straight and turned his body facing Blaine. Blaine mirrored what Kurt did. "I've always been completely honest with you, Blaine."
"Yes, I know that." Anxiety can be seen from Blaine's face.
"And I need you to understand what I'm about to say."
Blaine just looked at Kurt, confusion in his eyes. He took a deep breath, "okay."
Kurt took a deep breath as well, trying to organize his thoughts. "Coming here at Dalton was a decision I will never regret. The Warblers are amazing people, amazing friends. The tuition's a different story though, but Burt says he can manage as long as I'm happy."
Blaine beamed when he heard that. Kurt noticed and it made him release a sigh of relief. It was hard for him, seeing Blaine worried like that. At the same time knowing that it was him who caused Blaine to worry that much.
He then started playing with Blaine's fingers. "But above all, I'm grateful because I met you. You changed me, Blaine, in ways you may not even understand."
That moment, Blaine reached out his hand to touch Kurt's cheek. Feeling Blaine's thumb massaging his face, Kurt continued, "I'm happier because of you."
"And so am I," Blaine answered back.
Kurt took Blaine's hand, the one holding his face. "Blaine, I want to go back to McKinley as a student. I want to be a member of the McKinley High glee club again. But that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy being with the Warblers, being with you." Kurt paused for a moment. "I care about you, Blaine. But I miss my old friends badly. I dunno, I think I'm experiencing a bad case of separation anxiety or something." And Kurt uncomfortably chuckled and grinned.
It was another moment of awkward silence because of that. Kurt tried to maintain his smile at Blaine, but his expression changed when he realized Blaine didn't seem like he would say something as a reply to Kurt's confession.
"Please say something." It was Kurt who broke the tension.
Blaine rested his head on his hand. "I don't know what to say."
"Well, how about 'Everything's okay, Kurt. I understand.'"
Blaine straightened up. "Kurt, I want to handle this maturely."
"Oh. Sure, sure." Kurt was quick with replying. "I mean, you have that air of maturity in you already. That's why I look up to you."
Blaine raised an eyebrow with that, but he continued on. "This time, Kurt, I need you to understand me."
"But, you do understand me, right? You did understand what I just said?" Kurt cut Blaine before Blaine proceeded.
Blaine took a moment. "Kurt, the thing is, there's a part of me that fully understands what you just said, but there's a bigger part that doesn't want to understand."
Kurt looked at Blaine confused. "Enlighten me, please."
"Kurt, we just became official. Yes, we were already going out before, bonding over coffee at Lima Bean, but those days were different. Comparing my feelings towards you now to my feelings before we became official, it's like the size of my pinky to my whole hand. My feelings for you, Kurt, have grown."
Kurt didn't seem to like where this conversation is heading, but he didn't say anything. He wanted to respect Blaine. Hear his side and let him express how he feels about their relationship.
" Kurt," Blaine continued, "I don't know where I am leading this conversation of ours. If you're confused right now, I guess my confusion's much worse."
At that moment, Kurt surrendered to impulse and just took Blaine's face between both of his hands and kissed him on the lips. Blaine was right. Kurt is confused, and he poured all his confusion into their kiss. He held Blaine's face tight, with a slight thought that he didn't want to let it go. Transferring to McKinley is not the end of their relationship, Kurt is aware of that. But the time away from Blaine is what makes Kurt worried. They just became official. They just started exploring their feelings for each other. He doesn't want a gap between them to lessen their moments together.
Blaine was shocked with Kurt's aggressiveness. Kurt has never shown that side of himself to Blaine before. He felt Kurt leaning much closer to him, probably done unconsciously. Kurt was so engrossed with the kiss that he began to lean over Blaine so much so that Blaine is carrying half of Kurt's weight already. Blaine placed one of his hands on Kurt's knee, rubbing it back and forth, assuring Kurt that he's just right there with him, and he won't leave.
Kurt felt Blaine's hand on his knee. It calmed him. He leaned away from Blaine while releasing Blaine's lips and touched their foreheads together. Blaine could feel Kurt's breath as he inhales with his lips inches from his. "I don't know what came over me." Kurt was gasping for air. "I'm sorry."
Blaine squeezed Kurt's knee, "Don't be." With that he held Kurt's face with his other hand and kissed him, one long sweet kiss. Kurt relaxed in the kiss. He wanted to stay like this longer, be in this moment longer. He can feel Blaine's hand squeezing a clump of his hair near his nape. He liked that. He liked how Blaine makes him feel, because when he's with Blaine, he's happy.
Blaine ended the kiss with a quick slide of his nose with Kurt's. He leaned away and fixed his uniform. Kurt might've crumpled the front part when they were kissing. He swore he felt Kurt's hands on his chest but he was lost in blissful oblivion to have even processed anything.
Kurt noticed Blaine straightening out the folds on his uniform. He then blushed immensely. "Oh, shoot. I'm sorry about that one. God, I must've been so… in the moment. My hands have a mind of their own sometimes."
They both laughed at Kurt's remark. There was no tension between them anymore. Kurt felt Blaine take his hand and interlaced their fingers once again. "Walk with me towards the piano," Blaine smiled at him.
They walked slowly, hand in hand. Kurt trying to memorize the feeling of Blaine's fingers. As they made it to the piano, Blaine moved the seat to let Kurt slide in first. "I want you to hear a song. It's still in the writing process." Blaine told Kurt. "It's a song I'm writing about you." Kurt's face lightened up when he heard what Blaine said. "It's more like how important you are to me." Kurt was caught off guard. Blaine was writing him a song. No one has written a song for him before. He wanted to hear it now, even if it's not finished yet.
"Blaine, that's… I don't know what to say." Kurt can't help but smile at what he's heard.
"Oh, you don't have to say anything. Just listen, for now." Blaine then started playing.
You taught me how to breathe. Showed me how to be at ease. Closed my eyes and see. Listen to the things my heart desires. With every breath, my soul aspires to be free.
Kurt listened to the lyrics. He closed his eyes, letting his ears be filled by Blaine's voice. It was soothing. The melody was wonderful. The message was beautiful, and he feels exactly the same way towards Blaine. Tears started to form from Kurt's eyes.
You taught me how to dream. Helped me find the in-between. Promise and despair. Understanding where I'm meant to be. Right beside the one who sets me free.
And then the music stopped. Kurt opened his eyes. He got confused. Blaine rested his palms on his lap. "Blaine, what's wrong?"
"This part of the song becomes a duet." Blaine looked up to Kurt's eyes. "I made this song for us." Kurt understood. This time, the tears flowed down.
"I'm sorry." Kurt immediately wiped the tears away from his face. He turned his back from Blaine. He didn't want Blaine seeing him cry, although Blaine already saw the tears fall from his eyes. "The song is beautiful, Blaine. I love it." He stifled a sob.
"I love you."
Kurt froze. He heard what Blaine said. He didn't know how to react though. He faced Blaine, and just sat there staring. He loves Blaine so much, and Blaine knows that. Words are not needed anymore. But when you actually hear those words be spoken… the feeling begins to mean so much more.
"I love you, Kurt." Blaine repeated. Kurt looked at him. The tears continued flowing and Kurt couldn't stop them anymore even if he tried. Blaine took Kurt's hand once again. "I know that this is going to be hard for us, Kurt." Kurt can see Blaine restraining himself from crying. He always did have that air of being in control, trying to appear confident in front of the warblers especially every performance. But beneath that façade, Kurt knows Blaine's got a breakable spot, too. "But I'm willing to take all the risks," Blaine pressed on, "because I love you."
Kurt reached out to hold Blaine's face. It pains him to see Blaine like this – on the verge of crying. He never expected their conversation to reach this point. He never expected to cry in front of Blaine.
He leaned over to Blaine again and caressed Blaine's lips with his. Blaine held Kurt's hand tighter and let his other hand cup Kurt's neck. It was only a quick exchange of kisses. Chaste.
Kurt pulled away and let his lips hover over Blaine's, "I love you, too, Blaine Anderson."
Then at that moment, Kurt's cell phone rang. Kurt and Blaine didn't move first. They stayed in that position longer – foreheads touching, a hand over each other's cheek, eyes closed, listening to each other breathing.
The ringing didn't stop, which meant that it was a call and not a text message. "I think you should answer that, Kurt." Blaine let go of Kurt and stood up. He walked away from the piano, his back facing Kurt. Kurt reached in his pocket for his cell phone.
It was Burt calling. Kurt looked at the wall clock and its hands show 7:18. Kurt lost track of time, and Burt must be really worried by now. And Finn might have made up a lot of excuses already to save Kurt's butt.
"Dad. Yes. I know." Blaine heard Kurt talking on his cell phone. He sighed to himself, gracing his forehead with his hand. He didn't know what to feel at the moment. Everything that transpired was new to him, every emotion. He didn't know how to deal with them. But one thing's for sure, he respects whatever it is that Kurt chooses to be. Labels won't mean a thing to him now. Kurt will not be discriminated between being a Dalton warbler or a McKinley glee club member. In Blaine's eyes, he is Kurt Hummel… his Kurt Hummel. And he knows that Kurt feels the same way for him.
"I can go home by myself, Dad. No need to ask Finn to pick me up. Dad, c'mon." seemed like Kurt was having a hard time convincing Burt to let him go home alone. Blaine doesn't blame Burt. It's nearing 7:30 in the evening and Kurt's safety is important to him, too.
Blaine walked over to Kurt. "Let me talk to him." Blaine reached out for Kurt's cell phone. Kurt was surprised to hear Blaine interrupt a conversation between him and his dad. "You'll talk to my dad?"
Blaine bobbed his head sidewards as a sign of affirmation. "I'll tell him I'll be the one to bring you home."
Kurt handed over his phone to Blaine. Blaine talked with Burt, while Kurt eyed him. It was quite a quick conversation actually. Blaine ended the call after a few yeses. Handed Kurt back his phone and said, "So, let's go?" Blaine held out his hand to pull Kurt out of the piano seat. Kurt reached out to pull Blaine in for a last kiss. Kurt stretched out his neck to meet Blaine's lips. Again, it was a quick one. A show of endearment, like a little thank you.
Kurt knows this won't be the last time they'd talk about him transferring to McKinley. They'll talk about it again soon, maybe tomorrow even. He's just thankful for what happened. He's glad he had that conversation with Blaine. No matter how nerve-wracking and awkward it was. In the end, they confessed their love for each, with words now. Kurt smiled. That beat up all the crying in between.
~ End ~