Summary: He felt like he failed her; one of the only people he needed not to fail. The group not only lost an amazing person, but a child lost his mother.
Background: This takes place after the midseason finalie of Season 5 where Beth dies. Before the hospital, when they were in the prison, Beth and Daryl were together, were a couple. They had a child; a son they'd named Andrew Dixon. When the Governor attacked the prison, Daryl, Beth and Andrew made it out together and survived on their own. Beth was abducted by the people at the hospital, and left Daryl to take care of their son on his own. Once he finds out she could be at the hospital, he goes to get his son's mothers back.
A/N: This is meant to be a one-shot. Not sure if I'll continue it or not, but I just got this idea right after watching the episode, and had to get it down.
Warning: There will be sad themes including death in this chapter. There is a huge spoiler for the season, so if you're not ready for that, then don't read.
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Chapter 1:
It'd been driving him nuts. Beth was there, right there, and he'd had to leave with Noah to get Rick, to get guns. He needed to ensure this would go down. At least for now the mother of his child was safe.
Sure, people had looked at him funny when the news around the prison had gotten out that Beth and Daryl were a thing, that they were having a baby, a family. He really didn't think he'd make a good dad, but Beth believed in him. The entire time Beth had believed in him. Even when they were running for their lives away from the prison, Beth had trusted him to keep them safe.
It'd killed him a little inside the first night his family slept in the woods, the first night he couldn't put a roof over their heads. So he made sure they found a place. When they'd found that house it'd been the best thing in the world. But, when Walkers came knocking on their door, when he heard Beth scream and then she was just gone, that had been the worst moment of his life.
He couldn't find her, he'd failed her. And when he looked into Andrews baby blue eyes, he apologized to his son, apologized for the loss of his mother, for being too weak to protect her.
But when he'd seen that van, had hope she was alive, everything in him drove him to bring the mother of his child home. And he'd thought this trade for the two cops for them would work. Everyone would go home safe. Andrew would get his mother back, the cops would go home, they could go on finding a new safe place. He'd provide a life for his family again, he promised himself that.
Beth was everything to him, she was the light in the darkness of his life. She'd given him a son, a beautiful baby boy that had her eyes and his dark brown hair. It was like looking straight to Beth to look into his sons eyes, and he needed to bring their light back.
So, now waiting until the moment he'd see her again drove him crazy. He was antsy, to say the least, and he knew he'd see her today. He just had to cross his fingers that this peaceful exchange would work. Really, Beth would be proud of him, for going along with this peaceful exchange, so nobody else got hurt.
Walking into the hospital with the hostages they had, he was nervous. He'd see his girl again soon. Never in his life did he think he'd get to have someone to call his own, to call his girl. He never saw himself as worthy of such emotions, of such attachment. He'd just figured he'd always be at his brothers side and have to follow him. But Beth showed him there was another way.
As they stood in the hallway, facing the closed door, he took in a breath. Once the door opened and they stepped through, light flooded his senses as he winced for a moment. Looking up, his eyes scanned the people across the hall. Once his eyes met beautiful blonde hair and sky blue eyes, a small smile tugged at his lips. And he could see the smile tugging at her own.
What he ever did to deserve her, he'd never know. But he prayed to whatever god was still listening that he could keep doing it, keep deserving the light in all this darkness.
He barely heard what everyone was saying, his eyes held on Beth as he continued to hold the captive mans arms. Hearing Dawn's voice stating, "One of yours for one of mine," he nodded.
Walking forward, he took the officer he held to the halfway point across the hall, his eyes glancing up at Beth. Though, to see Carol come to him, he gave Carol a small smile. Taking her arm, helping her down the hallway and ensuring she could walk. Beth would be next, his girl would be next.
Returning to the group, he turned to see Rick take the other woman, and see Dawn walk Beth down the hallway. Rick seemed slightly happy to see Beth, kissing her head and letting her go back.
Daryl tried not to show emotion as he saw his girl walk towards him. Gently he moved his arm around her shoulders, bringing her into his chest and kissing the side of her face. "You're safe, darlin'. I've gotcha." he whispered to her. He would have time once they left to scoop her into his arms and kiss her.
Turning to walk with the others, his arm was around Beth's shoulders, a small smile on his lips as they started heading out. It seemed like they would all get out alive, that everything would be okay. For once everything worked as they'd planned, for once everyone was safe and everyone would go home.
"Wait," Dawn's voice said, stopping them as they were almost out. "Now I just need Noah." she finished.
Turning to them, Daryl shook his head. Yeah, the kid had stolen his crossbow, but he liked the kid. Noah went back to this place to get Beth back. As Noah started to walk, Daryl shook his head, stopping him with one hand and stepping up next to Rick. "He ain't stayin'."
"You have no claim on him, he's one of ours, not one of yours."
"Its okay.." Noah said, nodding a bit and looking at them. Noah shot Beth a small smile before nodding to Daryl. "Its okay. I'll stay.." he said as he begun to walk.
"Wait!" Beth chimed out, running forward and clamping Noah into a tight hug. Whatever the two shared in the hospital brought them close. But, he knew his Beth wouldn't have given up on him coming to get her.
Noah smiled as he hugged Beth. "Its okay.." he whispered to her.
But, the way Dawn spoke, "I knew you'd be back." and something clicked inside Beth.
Stepping away from Noah, Beth stepped towards Dawn, shaking her head slowly. "I get it now.." she whispered, a disgusted look in her eyes as she spoke.
"Beth..." Daryl whispered, stepping forward. But he was too late.
It all happened in a flash. Dawn's face contorted in pain as Beth stabbed her with the medical scissors. The gunshot rang loudly in the hallway and Beth's head jolted back, blood and brains spewing from the wound in her head. And Daryl's world collapsed.
He drew his gun without realizing it and fired, hitting Dawn square in the forehead, not even hearing a word she was saying. His brain was clouded, his heart was pounding in his ears. Tears clouded his vision as he looked down, seeing his beautiful girl laying on the white floor of the hospital, blood oozing from the wound in her head, coating along the white linoleum. Pain clouded him, his heart hurt. One of the few lights left in his life was just extinguished, put out.
Slowly his face contorted in pain as he attempted to hold himself together. Red flashed before his eyes, he wanted blood, all of their blood. Nobody deserved to live if his Beth was dead.
Rick's hand on his chest stopped him from blowing the brains out of the people standing at the other end of the hallway. He barely even heard what Rick was saying as his eyes went down to the beauty that laid out on the floor. Pulling away from Rick's grasp, he fell to his knees with a thud, dropping his gun on the floor.
"B-Beth..." he whispered, his voice contorted, showing the pain he felt in his chest.
Moving his arms, he scooped Beth up into his arms, pulling her up and feeling her limp limbs against him, watching as her head rolled back, blood staining her beautiful golden hair. Tears started moving down his cheeks, dropping onto Beth's face as his hands gripped her tightly.
Watching her lifeless face, in his mind he could see her smiles. See the way she smiled at him in the prison. He saw the way she looked when she took care of their son, saw the way she looked at him with so much trust in her eyes. The way her face contorted in pleasure as she was underneath him. He remembered the feel of her lips on his, her perfect skin against his. How could something so perfect just be gone?
Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he yanked away quickly. He didn't want anyone to touch him, not one person did he want to feel their hands on him. Moving to stand up, pulling Beth with him as he held her, his eyes never leaving her face.
Just moments ago he had his arm around her, he saw her smile at him. And now she was gone.
Looking up at the officers standing there, he knew there was hate and rage in his eyes, mixed with the pain of losing Beth.
How was he going to tell his son that he'd failed his mother again? Somehow this was his fault. If he hadn't lost her when the walkers attacked them at the house. If he hadn't let her hug Noah and confront Dawn. If he had gone with Rick's plan and snuck in. So many what ifs played through his head. Maybe it was his fault, maybe the fact that she was with him did her in, condemned her to die.
Gripping her body tightly, he turned to walk out of the hospital quietly after a few others had already started walking out. Now, he had to bury the woman he loved. And he would give her a proper burial, he promised himself that. There was no real time to mourn in this world, but he would make time to ensure the mother of his child had a proper grave and was laid to rest.
Walking out of the hospital, he looked up to see the others walking towards them. Why were they here? Weren't they supposed to be on the way to D.C.? And wasn't Michonne and Carl supposed to be at the church? His eyes widened a bit as he saw his son in Carl's arms.
Looking down, he heard Maggie's cry of pain at the sight of Beth dead in his arms. Slowly walking towards her, he looked down at Beth. Moving to his knees next to her, he looked down at her. "It...its my fault.." he whispered, not even trying to hide the pain in his voice.
The feeling of Maggie's arms around his neck and her face hiding on his chest as she sobbed over Beth's body didn't even move him. He was crying silent tears, silent tears moving down his cheeks as he held Beth close to him. Looking down at Beth's face, shifting her body in his lap and moving his hand up to brush her hair from her face. She wouldn't be one of them, she wouldn't be a walker.
His chest hurt in ways he never knew it could. His heart pounded underneath his skin in pain, pounding so loudly all he heard was the pounding of his heart and the sobs of Maggie.
Looking up, he saw Glen pull Maggie off of him and back into his chest to let her sob and cry on him. Nodding to Glen a bit before he looked down at Beth, shifting her in his lap and bringing her head up to rest on his shoulder. Kissing her forehead softly, resting his nose against it and closing his eyes halfway.
"I'm sorry, darlin'...I failed ya. I love ya, songbird." he whispered against her forehead, cradling her against his chest. He would ensure she'd get a proper burial, and then he would have to move on, find a safe place for himself and Andrew. Andrew was the only thing left he had in this world, the last bit of his sweet girl he had left.
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Time wasn't something he kept track of right then. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. He'd been ushered into the truck, drove to a safe place, a field. That was the one time he put Beth down. He laid her body on the ground before grabbing the shovel from Rick's hands.
Rick didn't say anything, he seemed to understand as Daryl sat his crossbow down and went to work digging. He was digging Beth's grave, and he dug with a purpose. Slamming the shovel into the Earth harder and harder with each stroke. Tears mixed with sweat on his face as he concentrated on what he was doing. He would not leave her body above ground for a walker to get ahold of. He would make sure it was deep enough to where she could rest in peace.
Once the hole was dug and it was deep enough for him, and wide enough for Beth, he stepped out of the hole, dropping the shovel and walking over to Beth's body. Looking down, he saw Maggie sitting there, crying. Maggie had been picking flowers, forming them into a bouquet, placing them in Beth's hands.
Moving to kneel on the other side of her, he looked down at Beth's hands. Moving his hand to take her lifeless one, slowly his fingers moved along the ring on her finger. He'd gotten her that ring on a run back in the prison. It was a promise ring, or thats what Beth called it. A promise that he'd always be there for her, protect her. Well, good job he did of that.
Sighing a little, he took the ring off her finger, looking at it in his hands.
"Here..." Maggie said, making him look up. Maggie took the ring from him and slipped it onto a silver chain that she'd found. Sitting up on her knees, she leaned over and brought it around Daryl's neck, hooking it and letting it fall onto his chest before she sat back.
"Thanks.." he whispered, giving her a weak smile. The chain was long enough to where it would hide in his shirt and be safe. It was a sentimental thing that people didn't usually have time for now-a-days, but he needed this, he needed a piece of his Beth in the world he was about to head out into with their son.
Looking up at Maggie again, he shook his head. "I'm sorry...I couldn't protect 'er..."
Maggie shook her head, looking at his face. "Its not your fault, Daryl. I know I wasn't the most supportive of you bein' with her. But..but I wouldn't have picked anyone better for her. Its not your fault, its this world we live in now. But you gotta protect Andrew. Beth would want you to continue, for Andrew. He needs you more than anything right now."
"He needs his momma." he said, looking down at Beth's face again.
"He needs is Papa too. His momma ain't comin' back. So he needs you more than anything in this world. You gotta be strong, for him. Beth's with Daddy now. She's waitin' for us on the other side, they both are. But it ain't our time yet, it definitely ain't yours..." she said.
Daryl scoffed, shaking his head. "Other side? Girl you talkin' nonsense." he said, looking at her. "Ain't no other side. Just shit and more shit. I'll protect him, with my very life. You got my word on that." he said with a sigh. Moving to pick Beth up before Maggie could protest his words.
Standing up, he walked over to the grave he'd made for her. Laying her inside, his fingers brushed her cheek as he sighed, shaking his head. "Rest easy, darlin'..." he said.
When he got out of the grave, he scooped the dirt slowly back onto her, it killing him a bit inside each time he let a shovel full of dirt fall onto her body. But once she was covered, once the dirt was in, he went and took the cross that Carol had fashioned for her. Walking to the top of the grave and sticking it in, ensuring it would stick in place before he stood up straight.
He heard the preacher - Gabriel start talking as people gathered around. Looking up, he saw Rick holding Judith and then saw Carol with Andrew. Walking to Carol, he moved to take Andrew from her, bringing him up against his chest as he fussed and whined.
"Hey, shh, shh boy. Daddy's gon take care of you." he said, looking at his son's bright blue eyes, the same blue eyes his mother had. Reaching up, he brushed brown locks from his face and gave his son a weak smile.
Kissing the side of his face, he held his son close to him, moving to stand by the grave as Gabriel preached. It'd been nice of Gabriel to offer to lead the service for Beth. It was a piece of normalcy. Andrew didn't understand it, he knew he wouldn't. And he dreaded the day Andrew would ask about his mother.
Rubbing his back slowly, he looked at his sons face. "Its you 'n me against the world, kiddo." he said softly. Bringing Andrews head to rest on his shoulder, he cradled him softly as he looked forward. Maggie was right about one thing; Andrew needed him. And he'd be damned if he failed his son the way he'd failed Merle and then Beth.
Andrew was the last light left in his life. He couldn't lose him; he wouldn't.
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A/N: FIN. I went to a seriously dark place to write this. I saw the midseason finalie and this just came to my head.
I'm pretty sure this is just a one shot. Should I extend it or no? I thought about doing a story about their relationship in the prison, but this part was in my brain and I had to get it down. {Obviously since I'm posting this a few hours after the episode aired.}
Well, read, review, and let me know what you think.