Secret love
He's been my best friend since before I can remember one of those 'best friends since birth' kind of friends. You know the kind like how they can totally read each other like an open book or like some kind of indescribable telachineses or something, well that's me and him alright no doubt about it. Well ok a little doubt I guess you can say. Ever since we were little we were like brother and sister we just understood each other did everything together we were like twins. You know except the whole dog ears silver hair and half demon stuff and I was just human anyway I'm getting off track here… I've had many other guy friends and it always ends up the same way we become friend get to know each other I start to fall for them somehow they find out get totally freeked out all and all it equals one ruined friendship, two people totally avoiding one another and many MANY awkward moments. But I could always count on him, our friendship still very strong sixteen years later. I swear it's like a curse because it started happening again and I swore to myself I WILL NOT let him find out. I know it's kind of selfish but I can't lose his friendship it's all I've got left well not really but I told be totally crush if I lost him I would probably cry more about that than all my break-up combined! Not that I'm a slut or anything and have had millions of boyfriends but hey what can I say? I get emotional you would too if you were totally rejected which brings me to another point; rejection. Everyone knows it and if you don't than you just weird or in denial my bets on denial. I know he doesn't feel the way I do for him and even if I had enough guts to actually tell him I wouldn't for feel he might reject me. I've been rejected a lot and frankly I'm tired of it. I feel like a loner because I can't find a guy who I like who likes me back and all the ones who do are complete creepers like that Naraku kid eeeh just thinking about him sends shivers down my spine. i feel like the third wheel when Miroku and Songo invite me to go places with them so I don't go anymore is it possible to just find one decent sweet guy who likes me? I guess so. And this, my friends is why I hate love movies, stories, songs, etc. Because I know that they'll never be mine and that's simply what they are stories: make-believe. Just some hopeless romantic putting their fantasy on paper, right? By now I've realized that I've totally fallin for this guy hard and it taken me a while to admit it to myself and now I think I might love him crazy right? I mean the one signally most important rule to every guy girl best friends is to not I repeat NOT fall for the other. Well I broke that rule well let's see actually I broke it shattering it into little pieces jumped on it and then ran over it with a bull dozer. Extreme you ask? Yes but that's how I feel and I think I might be going a little insane from keeping it a secret for too long. I mean I realized I liked him in the seventh grade now I'm a sophomore and am still crushing hard for him pathetic right? Ya I know you're tellin me I livin it dude. I'm actually surprised he hasn't found out yet and if he does know he probably thinks it's just a little crush not hard core like it is. How hard core? You might regret asking that where to begin? My stomach does flips when he's around when he touches me my skin tingles my heart beats extremely fast, I melt every time I see him smile at me, sometimes I stutter and lose my voice but I've learned to kinda get over that. He's always on my mind, hell I could be thinking about something like bunnies and somehow my mind will wonder to him. I always want to be closer to him to take in his sent that smells like how I think heaven would smell. I'm not a creeper I swear I don't have his chewed gum or like pieces of his hair I'm not a freak just love sick I guess you could say. But the worst part isn't him dating other girls wishing it was me he was kissing, it wasn't knowing that he would never be mine although that hurt a lot. No it was not knowing the future the what ifs are what kill me. What if I told him? What if he didn't feel the same way? What if he did? What if he laughed in my face thinking I was totally kidding? The what ifs were endless and my mind seemed to keep thinking them up. I had to be careful one day I was bored in English, shocker, and caught myself writing his name! And to make it worst this nosy girl say it! And started interrogating me luckily I think quickly on my feet and said it he asked me to make it for him and that I wasn't done yet. As a result I had to show her the finished product and ended up actually giving it to him. That stupid girl had me made one for her and soon everyone was asking for one. But at least no one found out the real truth behind it. I tell him everything as he does with me except that very important thing no one knows not even Songo although she has her suspicions. Well because he tells me everything I happen to know he like Kikyo, stupid skank, she was the most popular and meanest in school there is no way in hell I could win over her. Hell would freeze over before he liked me and that was a fact. So I guess it's better to love from afar in secret where no one will ever know and when we look back twenty years from now and we both have families of our own maybe then I'll tell him I used to be in love with him but there's only one problem with my theory the say love never truly dies if so it may cause some problems but I guess I'll get to them when I do so for now Inuyasha I love you and hopefully you'll never know it.