Artemis Fowl: The Time Machine by Kirbie
Rated PG for swearing and a non-graphic car accident (not much blood, anyway)
Warnings: Slight angst, swearing, possible OOCness
Disclaimer: Eoin Colfer owns Artemis Fowl and all the characters in the trilogy- but I own the plot and any OCs that may pop up (probably none though).
Chapter 1:
Crash Course in Collision
St. Bartleby's School for Young Gentlemen
"Hey, buddy, mind moving your funny contraption?" Kevin asked.
Artemis glared at him. "That funny contraption is a prototype, I'll have you know. And find somewhere else to sit. That is staying where it is now. And one more thing- don't call me buddy." His tone practically screamed "I am superior to you, so get out of my sight now!"
"Sheesh, touchy, aren't you?" Kevin said, taken aback. "Fine, fine. But I'll be asking for a room change this afternoon."
"Does it look like I care?" Artemis drawled.
Kevin stomped out of the room.
Artemis sighed. Term was still far from over, and the only thing that was keeping him from losing his sanity was his state-of-the-art laptop. He'd already gone through ten roommates in less than a week, and they still insisted on partnering him up with someone. When will they just leave me alone?
Having no answer for himself, he returned to his online chess game, absentmindedly defeating the grand champion in less than six moves.
This is boring, he told himself. Standing up, he decided to take a walk around the campus to clear his mind.
He definitely needed it.
Haven
It was quiet.
Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon sighed, shifting around for the hundredth time since she'd started her shift. There were no raging trolls or vicious goblins to deal with anymore.
And what was the greatest disappointment of all was that there was no blue-eyed child genius to have to contend with.
The LEP had basically been inactive since the Fowl mind-wipe. It seemed as though the enemies had been taken away along with Artemis's memories of fairies, goblins, Haven, the LEP, Foaly, Root, and Holly herself.
If Holly had known what was coming next, she wouldn't have thought that quite so loudly…
St. Bartleby's School for Young Gentlemen
After ages of waiting, the students of St. Bartleby's were finally on winter vacation.
Butler arrived right on time in Artemis's Bentley. "How was term so far?" he asked as he opened the door for Artemis.
"Terrible. I managed to frighten off thirty-five students before they gave me an individual room. A new record, I believe. And as usual, I learned nothing from the teachers' lectures."
Butler had to hide a smile. "I see. Then you are glad to be on winter vacation, I suppose?"
Artemis nodded. "I believe I'll try to persuade Mother to pull me out of this school. It really is quite a waste of valuable money."
"Money. That reminds me, Artemis, I was performing my rounds today and found quite a large sum of gold hidden in a secure vault. Small unmarked ingots only, apparently. I believe it came from one of your operations. Do you mind filling me in?"
Artemis was keeping secrets. Butler didn't like it when that happened. It made him feel like the young boy didn't trust him.
"…" Artemis looked away. "I apologize, Butler, but I cannot tell you where it came from."
"Ah…I…see." Butler's grip tightened on the steering wheel.
"However, that is not because I do not want to tell you, but because I myself do not know where it came from."
Butler jerked, sending the car swerving to one side. Artemis was thrown against the car door.
"Butler, would you mind watching the road?" Artemis groaned.
"I'm sorry. But how is it that you don't know where such a large sum of money came from?"
Artemis shrugged. "I have been trying to figure it out, but with no success as of yet…"
They passed an intersection in silence.
"But what frustrates me is that I sense some otherworldly presence around that gold. Something familiar, yet I cannot place it…"
"You mean like leprechaun gold?"
"Exactly, Butler. It feels like something out of a child's fantasy storybook."
"But how could-"
Butler saw the red Mercedes a moment too late. "Artemis, buckle your seat belt!" he roared. He knew that Artemis tended not to put on his seat belt because it interfered with his typing. He spun the wheel to the left, but the speeding car had not slowed down.
The two cars collided with a sickening crunch.
And the other car had struck the side that Artemis had been sitting on.
The world went black.
Haven
"Captain Short," Root began. "We've decided that it's high time that we checked on Fowl. To make sure his memories are still wiped, that kind of thing."
"And…you want me to go. Right?"
"You knew him best, Holly," Foaly cut in. "Besides, everyone else is on guard duty right now."
"Everyone? Isn't that a bit extreme for a place with no enemies left?"
"Well…you've heard of the calm before the storm," Foaly said. "Just in case, anyway. We've got a flare ready for you. Just hop in the shuttle and away you go. From there, you can fly to Fowl Manor. I suppose we'll wire you so we can confirm what you're seeing."
"But-"
"No buts, Short! You're going!" Root barked.
"Yessir," Holly mumbled, and headed towards the shuttle after Foaly had put an iris cam in her right eye and a microphone behind her ear.
"Ready in five," Foaly said once she was situated. Holly silently began the countdown. The shuttle cranked into movement on three.
"Foaly…" she growled into the microphone.
"Sorry, sorry, must have miscalculated. I was a bit distracted and accidentally hit the button early. Nothing serious happened, did it?"
"Nope." But if Foaly had gotten distracted, then there was trouble brewing somewhere on this continent. Holly could feel it.
Tara
Nothing was better than a shuttle ride to the surface, despite Foaly's original screw-up. Holly stretched her cramped legs and then took flight towards Fowl Manor, Foaly's annoying voice chattering incessantly in her ear.
She finally got fed up. "Foaly, if you don't shut up, I'll rip the microphone off and drop it in the ocean! Just shut up and tell me what message you got!"
Silence from the other end. "She's scary when she gets mad," she heard Foaly tell Root.
"I heard that," Holly said loudly. "Now, what was the news?"
"I think you'll find out when you get there. Nothing serious."
Foaly had a tendency to say that when it really was serious. But Fowl Manor was looming ahead, and she had a job to do.
She ran a scan over the building. Only wildlife vitals- no humans in sight, not even Artemis's mother or father.
"Foaly? I hope you're getting those numbers. Where are they all?"
"I have no clue where Artemis's mother and father went off to, but if you fly about a mile to the left of Fowl Manor and then turn right, you'll see where Artemis and Butler are," Foaly said delicately.
Holly had an ominous feeling as she did as Foaly instructed.
Artemis and Butler
When Butler awoke, he was lying on pavement amid the remains of two wrecked cars.
His first coherent thought was Where's Artemis?
He had learned to block out pain. The Kevlar in his chest did hinder his breathing a bit, but he had gotten lucky, escaping with only a few bruises and cuts.
But if Butler had remembered correctly, Artemis's side had been hit, and a healthier person than Artemis wouldn't have been able to survive that.
Then again, Artemis wasn't a normal person.
Still, Butler couldn't shake a slight feeling of apprehension as he saw a large group of screaming people flock towards the other side of the car.
Artemis is okay, he told himself. He's all right. Artemis is alive.
Some level of subconsciousness, though, prepared him for what was coming next.
"There's…there's no pulse!"
"The kid doesn't look older than fifteen-"
"Oh my GOD!"
The hysterical owner of the red Mercedes had rushed over, supported by two men. "Is he all right? I wasn't watching the road! I know I sped a red light but- OH MY GOD! Is the boy okay? He's not dead is he? He-"
"Ma'am, calm down," a paramedic said, hopping out of a wailing ambulance. He hesitated. "But I believe the kid died on the scene."
Everyone became silent.
"The car," Butler croaked, still not able to believe what he was hearing. Artemis was dead. He had failed. Protect the Principal, he had always told himself. He had just failed in one of the most important parts of training that Madam Ko had ever put him through. He had failed Artemis. "It…it hit him. His side of the car, I mean."
The paramedic thought and then nodded. "Then death must have been instantaneous. He died a painless death. It was either that or possibly total paralysis or critical injury."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Holly
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
The deep shriek nearly sent Holly crashing into a lamppost.
"Foaly, what was THAT?"
"I believe that would be Butler," Foaly said cautiously.
"Butler? Scream like that? You're kidding me," Holly said, but she detected no trace of humor in the centaur's tone.
"You might want to check it out, anyway."
"Well, of course I would," Holly snapped. "I'm not an idiot." She opened her throttle and sped ahead towards the sound of the scream.
The first thing she saw was metal.
There was a field of it; it was strewn all over the intersection. Holly quickly checked that she was shielded and dropped downwards to where Butler was, careful not to disturb the mind-wipe by touching him. It might trigger residual memories if some invisible person floating eight feet in the air was to tap on his head.
The next thing she saw was blood, spatters of it all over the scene. The sight made Holly retch. She turned away, looking around for an untainted area.
Fluttering around a few hysterical spectators and an ambulance, Holly whispered to Foaly, "What's going on here?"
"There's been an accident," Foaly said shortly. If you go around that other car, you'll see a very unpleasant- or pleasant- sight."
Cautiously, Holly approached the car. What she saw next took her breath away…
Artemis was lying, even paler than usual, thrown somewhere randomly on the road and as limp as a rag doll. He was splattered with blood. And he wasn't breathing.
"FOALY!!!" she whispered as loudly as she could. "What the HELL happened?" And Holly Short did not usually swear. So when she did, everyone knew to watch out.
"They were in a car accident, and Fowl's been declared legally dead."
"He's not," Holly muttered. "He's not. We go through the Arctic, the Mafiya, and Spiro Needle together without him getting more than a scratch and now he dies in a simple car accident?"
She slammed her hand into a deep slash on Artemis's arm. "Heal," she whispered fiercely. "Heal." Blue sparks scurried out of her fingers and into Artemis's body. She knew it was too late to freeze Artemis, so she had one shot only-
"It won't work."
"Foaly, I'm trying to concentrate here! Lecture me later, when I'm done!"
"Holly, you're in denial. Fowl's dead."
Holly pushed every ounce of magic she had left in her body out into Artemis, yet the youth still did not breathe, did not move.
"D'Arvit, Artemis, don't waste my magic now…"
She waited with bated breath, but nothing happened.
She turned away from the motionless Artemis in disgust. That was not Artemis. The real Artemis was probably sitting in Fowl Manor, laughing his head off for worrying Holly like that. That explained the reasonably paler complexion and the lack of a smirk or a scowl on the emotionless face.
"Holly, he's dead. You're being irrational. You're becoming delusional. He won't be coming back to life anytime soon, but-"
"Foaly, shut up."
Foaly barreled on, ignoring her. "-I know how to bring him back to life."
Silence from the other end.
"Wha…WHAT? Is that possible? How?"
"It's a new device I've invented called the Time Machine. It took me years and a lot of funding from my budget, that's why I've never been able to afford anyplace better to live- but there's no better time than the present to test it out."
"You want Artemis to be a test subject?"
"Basically, yes- but that will render the mind wipe completely useless. It'll have been a complete waste of time. And with Artemis we would have to unwipe Butler and Juliet as well- and of course we'd need clearance from Root-and since you seem to dislike Artemis so much, I'm not sure that you'd be willing to give it a shot-"
"Do it."
Foaly blinked. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure! DO IT!"
"Holly," Root's voice growled. "I heard it all, and let me say that I'm not at all happy with your plan-"
"Foaly came up with it," Holly said immediately. "But this is no time for arguing. Artemis needs to be revived, now. Think of how many times he's saved us from total destruction. He's balanced the scales, Commander."
"Short, you do know what you're doing, right? This has never been attempted. This is Foaly's new invention! He hasn't gotten a chance to get the bugs out of it yet! This thing could be a volcano ready for explosion- and you and Fowl will be sitting right in the middle of the crater."
Holly shrugged. "I'm bringing him back."
Tuning out their frantic shouting, Holly clipped the lifeless Artemis to her Moonbelt and dropped a sheet of cam foil over his body, floating away and half-expecting Artemis to wake up and ask if they shouldn't be going higher to avoid being seen.
But he didn't.
Root's Office, Haven
All three of them were staring at the motionless Artemis in disbelief.
"I still can't believe he's dead," Root repeated.
"Actually, Commander, I've used this before. I teleported myself into the future to see what was going to happen. I saw this event happen before Artemis even knew he was going to be riding in the Bentley back home."
"Then why didn't you stop it from happening?" Holly screamed.
"I wasn't prepared, so sue me," Foaly huffed. "I didn't know what to expect. I couldn't have brought microphones or softnoses or laser guns or whatever it is that they use to prevent a car accident. I had no choice but to let it happen. But we can still save him, like I said before. There's one shot for each mission on this baby." Foaly patted the Time Machine fondly.
"And…?" Holly asked.
"If it doesn't work the first time, then we take it for granted that the person's fate was inevitable and nothing could have changed what happened to them. If it does work, then mission accomplished." Foaly shrugged. "Think about it this way. If you fail, then Artemis was meant to die today, and if you succeed, then it means that it was a complete screw-up. I got that from some old beliefs of the ancient Egyptian Mud Men. They're really quite fascinating; some of them actually raised some interesting points-"
"We don't have time for this," Holly muttered. Foaly stopped mid-ramble.
"So in Fowl's case…" Root left the question incomplete.
"One of us would have to teleport back in the past and stop the accident from ever happening, which should be moderately easy seeing as how their 'cars' are several centuries of technology behind us."
"Nothing ever goes as planned," Holly pointed out.
"True," Foaly admitted. "Which is why we need permission for a mind recall. Artemis needs to know about the fairies, or he'll never believe that he shouldn't get into that car."
Root's complexion grew several shades redder. "You want me to return his memories? Forget it. You do it with the mind wipe in full effect. Fowl is still dangerous, possibly even more so than when he knew about the fairies."
Holly groaned. "But Commander-"
"Julius-"
"Foaly, my name is Commander Root. Not Julius. Holly, there's no way around it. I'm sorry."
"Fine," Holly snapped. "Foaly, hook me up. I'm going back."
Foaly blinked. "Are you sure about this? I mean, up until now you seemed to really hate Fowl…"
Holly glared. "True, but that was before he died. He can't exactly destroy Haven when he's dead."
"Good point," Foaly admitted, wheeling a fairy-sized pod in from the adjacent room. "I'll hook this little wonder up to the machine and set the date. Then all I have to do is press the red button, and away you go."
Holly eyed the pod cautiously. It had translucent, aqua-blue windows and steel fasteners. It sure looked sturdy enough.
"Where's the door?"
Foaly pointed vaguely to around the middle of a control box built into the pod's outer protection. "There should be a green button with a door etched on it. If you press that, the screen will lift. Then you can get in."
Holly did as Foaly said.
"Should Fowl's body be frozen like Butler's was when Holly revived him? That Kyrogentis or something?"
"Cryogenics, Julius. And no, the body could disintegrate and be eaten by trolls and Artemis could still be saved."
Holly gave Foaly a funny stare. "Are you sure?"
"There's a 50% probability that I might be wrong."
Both Holly and Root groaned.
"It's the first time I've tested this thing to revive a human life," Foaly said defensively. "Before now all I've done is gone into the future and take a look around at what was going to happen. I can't be sure of the outcome."
"This thing can't be perfect," Root said, staring at the technological marvel in consternation. "Because it sure still sounds like it is at the moment."
"It's not," Foaly admitted. "It has…complications."
"Five seconds, Foaly. Talk fast. What's wrong with it?"
"I haven't gotten the bugs out of the system yet, like I said before," Foaly said frankly. "First of all, there's a time difference, which gives us a time limit. Time passes faster in the past for some reason. I haven't been able to sort that out yet, so Holly, you basically have sixty minutes. No more, no less."
"Sixty minutes?" Holly spluttered. "That's only an hour in Mud Man measurements!"
"I'm sending you back two hours in time- that's a hundred and twenty minutes you've got. But for each minute that passes here, two minutes pass in the past world. I don't know how that happens, but it does. So after an hour here, your time will be up."
"Can't you send me back more than two hours?"
"That's another glitch. You can't go back more than two hours. I think all the programming needs reworking, but I couldn't fit any more time into the parameters."
"Anything else we should know about?" Holly asked sourly. Sixty minutes wasn't a lot of time if you actually counted.
"Nothing else important. You just have to be careful to stay out of the way of your past self, which shouldn't be much of a problem because she'll be down here-"
"No she won't," Root intervened. "Remember? We sent her up there to check on Fowl, and they might run into each other."
"Well, then don't run into you," Foaly advised wisely.
Holly blinked. "I have no clue what you just said, but I think I'm ready. Where exactly was Artemis two hours back?"
"In class. Apparently, he attends St. Bartleby's School for Young Gentlemen when he's not off planning some insane mission. Listen carefully, Holly- communications don't work across time periods, so you'll be alone for this one. Artemis arranges for Butler to pick him up at exactly three o clock in the afternoon, right after his classes let out. That's your chance to stop him. Prevent the call from going through. All right?"
"Good luck," Root said reluctantly, drawing back. "I'll leave the rest up to you, Foaly." He backed out of the room, shutting the door behind him.
"Perfect," Foaly crowed. "Thank you, Julius." Then he turned to Holly. "All right, just disregard anything Julius said about the mind wipe earlier."
"What?" Holly blinked. Artemis was one thing. But Foaly had never told her to directly disobey her commander's rules.
"Frankly, I see no way that this can be done without bringing back his memories. We can always re-wipe him, and this is Fowl's life hanging in the balance. Do whatever it takes, all right?"
"I thought you didn't like Artemis."
Foaly shrugged. "There are people I like better, but think of all we've been through together. I couldn't just let him die. Besides, he was the only one who actually understood my technological wonders and how they worked."
Holly rolled her eyes. She had been fairly certain that the centaur would have mentioned something along those lines.
"Press the yellow button," Foaly told her. She did. The screen closed over her body. "I'm going to fire up the machine," he said, his voice muted by the glass in between them. "A sedative will be released into the pod, but don't panic. And put on your seat belt. It'll be a rocky ride before you get to the past."
Holly nodded, absently watching the wispy gas seep into the chamber where she was sitting.
"Remember what I told you, Holly."
She blacked out.
~*~TBC…~*~
How was that? @.@ Probably a very overdone and cliché plot, but….;; I don't go fiddling around in the AF section very much, so I wouldn't know if there was something like this in there.
This won't be very many chapters, five or six at the most. If anyone likes it, I'll continue. I hope you enjoyed though.
~Kirbie
Note: Please no flames. I don't think my extremely low self-esteem would be able to take it if I got more than one. o.O;; *sigh*
Review please!