"You ok cupcake?" She asks me with a mouthful of cheeseburger.
I don't answer. Just keep watching. Watching how her mouth moves as she chews. It was as if she was trying to spellbind me with her lips. It was as if they were saying, "Come to me. Press your lips onto mine and taste my sweet nectar."
"Hey." She tapes me on the shoulder.
A shock of electricity runs through my body causing me to quiver. I shake my head and lick my lips. "Yes."
"You ok?"
"Yea. Everything's fine." Is it? I mean what I'm feeling is completely ordinary. Everybody falls in love with their best friend sometime in their life. So why should I be different?
"Well are you gonna finish that?" She points to my half eaten cheeseburger and it's before I can even answer that question, Sam snatches it off my plate, scarping it down as if she's not eaten in days. It was one of those moments that made me realize I was in love with this woman, the way she can eat like a pig and still look uber cute doing it.
"Carly! Come here!" My brother, Spencer, calls over from the grill.
"Brb." I smile at Sam moving away from the picnic table. The sun was shining it's brightest as I walked across the city park. My bare feet sliding across the fresh rain soaked grass but drying instantly from the rising warmth.
Spencer stood before the grill, his shaggy black hair covered by a chief hat, with a delighted look on his face. "Carly! Carrrrrllly!" He kept on screaming.
"What? What's wrong?" I ask finally reaching where he was at.
"Look!" Spencer points down at the grill.
I lean over to see where he was pointing making sure I didn't get to close to it, or I'll be BBQ. There were just the things you expected to see on a grill; coal, fire, hot dogs, and hamburgers. Nothing spectacular. "I see. Great."
He knew I didn't know by the way he placed his finger closer to the grill and screaming even louder, "Look!"
I begin to blush as I see everyone at the park stop and stare at us. "Whatever I'm supposed to be seeing, I don't see it."
"There." He points to a disfigured hamburger. "Don't you see it? That hamburger looks like a spaceship from Galaxy Wars after one of its many battles."
I take another look and decided to play along. "Oh yea. You know what, I do see it. Good job Spencer, maybe you should tell the news."
"Or show it on iCarly!"
"Yea," I say less excited. "Maybe."
"Alright!"
I start to make my way back to Sam, who was now kicking back on a lawn chair. Her blonde hair was resting on her shoulders covering the straps of her yellow and turquoise ruffle lace bikini top. The only thing that made her look even sexier was the petite blue jean shorts she had on.
"Sorry about that." I say sitting on the frame of the chair next to her feet. Lucky for me, I was wearing my sunglasses or Sam would have known I was checking her out. But now thinking about it, I don't think Sam would even notice since it seems she's become to indulge in the song she's listening to.
Her eyes were closed and lips moving along with the mystery song. God, only if I could be able to read lips. Then I will know what her gorgeous voice was frightened to let out. Or even better yet, take a trip inside that little head of hers, find out what makes her tick. But then again, that would be terrifying.
"Oh hey." Sam opens her eyes and takes out the earbugs. "Welcome back pudding."
"Hey." I play with her big toe.
"I missed you." And she reveals a smile that makes me liquefy faster then ice under the sizzling Fourth of July sun.
I want to pounce on top of her and shove my tongue down her throat. Right in front of everyone if I have too. Nobody can stop me! Well, except for Sam.
Control yourself Carly. I say to myself.
"So, now what you want to do? Sam asks fluttering her eyes.
"Uhh…" I look around. "I don't know. We could go swimming?" Just the thought of Sam in a bikini all wet sends Goosebumps up and down my arms.
"No. Sounds like too much effort." Sam sighs.
"Oh." Sam reaches over and grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze. "Anything else my love?"
I can't believe I just said that! My love? Why don't I just come out and say it? How stupid of you.
"My love? Hmm…I like that. Ok, my love. Wanna see how the human dunk tank is doing?"
"Sure." I shrug my shoulders.
"Well let's go!" Sam kicks herself up and pulls on my arm.
We walk the entire way to the dunk tank holding hands and her referring to me as my love. I can't say that I didn't enjoy it but it did tug at my heart knowing that she is saying and doing these things for her own entertainment.
"Well look who it is," Sam says pointing over with her free hand.
I look to where she was pointing sliding my sunglasses to my forehead to get a better look. Freddie Benson, my neighbor, was sitting on the dunk chair as a little girl tried her best to throw the ball at the bull's-eye.
"I didn't know Freddie was working here." I said.
"Oh who cares?" Sam says letting go of my hand and reaching into her pockets. "Hey can I borrow some money?"
"Don't you have twenty bucks?"
"Yea….I did."
"You did?" I cock an eyebrow.
"I spent it on fat cakes and fried chicken." Sam looks down and kicks some rocks. "Don't judge me."
I let out a lighthearted snarl and reach into my pockets pulling out three bucks. "Here."
Sam takes the money out of my hands and sprints to the head of the line. I never seen her more pleased then I know when she's up to no good. Sam whispers something into the little girl's ear which makes her get wound up.
"Sam! What are you doing?" Freddie screams out his face changing into a paler shade of white.
"Shut up and take it like a man!" Sam screams over Freddie's voice. She hands the girl the money and in return the little girl hands Sam the ball.
I cover my mouth with my hand, trying to cover the huge smile that has formed on my face and even used a cough to masquerade the laughter. Sam looks over at me and gives me a thumb up. Getting in a pitcher's stance, she wounds up and throws a perfect fastball/curveball combination.
Bam! Splash!
And just like that, Freddie was now submerging under water. Splashing and flopping around trying to keep his head up. Sam was now dancing and jumping up and down.
"Yes! Mama wins! Oh yea!" She shouted to the heavens above in triumph.
"Good job Sam!" I call out over the applause from the watchers near by.
She goes over to the carnie running the booth. There in front of her stood a wall of an assortment of stuffed animals. Everything from monkeys to teddy bears to even a giant giraffe. Sam grabs one from the middle shelf and heads over to me.
"Here you go Carls." Sam hands the stuffed animal to me.
It was a brown teddy bear wearing a flannel shirt and blue overhauls. I hold it close to my chest, letting it feel my heart beat.
"Aww Sam. It's so cute. I love it. Thank you."
She puts an arm around me as we start to walk again. "Ah, it's nothing. I just did it so you have something to snuggle up with those nights I'm not there. Right my love?"
"Right." I let out a bashful but lighthearted laugh. "My love."
Part of me wishes I could just tell her how I really feel. Just open up and let my feelings pour out like a rainstorm. But most of me is petrified how Sam will react. Will she accept it and maybe have feelings back for me? Or will she just shrug it off like it's nothing and continues being my friend, or what if it's worst? What if she thinks I'm disgusting? That I'm a freak and ends up hating me? I don't think I could live with that feeling.
"You alright?" Sam lightly taps me on the cheek.
"Huh?" I snap back. Looking around, I realized we've walked quite away from the dunk tank.
We were now on the other side of the park. Isolated from the Fourth of July celebrators. Sam takes refuge under a tree's shade. Her back leaning against its coarse bark exterior. She closes her eyes and begins to hum the same song she was singing earlier today.
"Sam?"
"Yes," she replies opening her eyes and smiling at me.
"I'm just curious, but what song are you humming?" I ask tilting my head to the side, walking ever so leisurely up to her.
"Is it important?" Sam asks back pushing herself off of the tree and dancing over into the sunlight.
"I guess not." I look down at the grass. I sense Sam walk up to me and place her arms around my neck.
Her lips were precariously close to mine and the tips of our noses were barely touching when I looked up. Sam's breath was engaging like apple pie, a fragrance that I frantically try to take in.
"Can I help you?" I politely inquire trying to keep the trembling my lips were making a minimum.
"You think you can handle being without me for a few hours?" Sam puckers her lips out.
"Yea…I guess so."
"Good. I'll be right back." Sam lets go of me and begins to walk away.
"Can you at least tell me where you are going?"
Sam turns around. "I can't look like this for the fireworks tonight. Mama wants to look hot."
"Right."
"Who knows, tonight could be our lucky night." Sam winks at me before leaving.
If there is one thing I truly can say I hate is when somebody is sending you mix messages. And that's what I think Sam is doing to me. Now the key words are, I THINK, which means, I COULD, be wrong. Which means my mind is just playing cruel jokes on me and that I'm just reading too much into it.
But then again…..this is what Freddie must be feeling. All the times I act super nice to him or be super flirty with him, he must have thought I was sending him mix messages. Now I feel extra stupid and bad.
The night couldn't have come any quicker as partiers were now settling down as the sun was starting to set. I look around, scanning the area for Sam. But I don't see her anywhere. Mrs. Benson, Freddie's mom, has now joined us and was with Spencer taking photos of everything.
I sit on the picnic blanket and look at the sky above. The sun was halfway gone casting an orange and purple glow in the sky. A beautiful sight, I pull out my camera and take a picture of it. Capturing its beauty forever.
"Hey Carly." "
I look up and see Freddie standing over me with his hands in his pockets. "Oh, hey Freddie."
"Don't sound too sad to see me."
"I'm sorry Freddie," I say bringing my knees to my chest.
"Everything ok?" Freddie sits next to me and does the same.
"Yea." I sigh and look around.
"Then why don't I believe you?"
My eyes lock with his and Freddie gives me a sympathy smile. "Ok, ok you got me."
Freddie lets out a cackle. "Come on Carly. You know I always listen."
"Well…it's just Sam."
"I see. What about Sam?"
"She's not here. It's the Fourth of July. Every year we spend the whole day together no matter what. This year shouldn't be any different."
"I see," he scratches the top of his head, "didn't you two hang out earlier?"
"Yea. But then she told me she had some place to go and hasn't return yet. And the fireworks are about to start!" I let out a breath to calm my nerves. "You think I'm over reacting?"
"You want my honest opinion?"
I nod.
"Yes, you're overreacting."
"Oh, who asked you?" I shriek.
Looking bewildered, "You just did." Freddie starts to get up. "Anyway, I'm heading back to my mom and Spencer. You wanna come?"
"No, I'm good."
"Ok. I'll see you later."
Freddie turns and walks off into the distance….leaving me alone. Again. I wonder if Freddie is right, maybe I am overreacting. I did say we spend EVERY Fourth of July together. So why would this year be different?
I stand up and wrap my arms around myself. Looking around one last time before leaving myself.
"You going somewhere?" Sam was now standing in front of me. Her long wavy blonde hair fallen down on her bare shoulders. She wasn't kidding when she told me she was going to make herself look hot.
"Uhh…yea. As a matter of fact I was." I cross my arms and cock an eyebrow.
"Oh. Well where are you going?"
"I don't know. I was going to watch the fireworks with my friend Sam, but she's nowhere to be found. Have you seen her?"
Sam nodded her head. "I guess I deserve that. Sorry I was late."
"It's cool. At least you're here now." And I smile. A genuine smile, not one of the fake ones you see in pictures. For once again my heart was filled with happiness with the blonde bombshell in front of me.
"Yea. I'm here now."
"So, you wanna have a seat?" I point to the blanket below.
Sam looks down at the blanket and puckers in her lips. "Actually, I have another spot ready for us."
"Oh ok."
"I hope you don't mind."
"No. It's good, I don't mind."
"Good. Follow me." Sam takes me by the hand and leads me through the crowd. Walking closer to the back wooded are until finally stopping in the same spot we were at earlier.
"Here we are." Sam says, stopping in her place.
I look around and notice a blanket was set up along with some well lit scented candles. Strawberries was the smell that filled my nostrils. This fit perfectly with the strawberries and whip cream that was waiting on the blanket.
Looks like something for a first date.
"Are you sure you don't want to watch it with everyone else?"
"What? Don't you like it?" Sam asks kind of depressingly.
"I like it. Actually, I love it." I look around again. "But I'm just saying this looks like it's for somebody special."
"And you're not?" Sam asks, sitting down and pulling me down with her.
"Well…." I adjust myself.
"Well nothing." Sam cuts me off. "Now here." She takes one of the strawberries and dips it in the whip cream and without any type of warning, Sam places the whip cream covered strawberry in my mouth.
I close my eyes and let the flavors mix together. Chewing slowly, I feel her fingertips touch my lips. Sending a surge of electricity throughout my body, I open my eyes and lean back.
"You had some cream on your lips." Sam chuckles, holding her cream covered fingertips.
"Oh," I let out, licking my lips still tasting her lotion. "You startled me, that's all."
"Didn't mean to do that to you babe." Sam moves over and puts and arm around my waist.
Babe?
From across the park was the bandshell where the band on stage played their last song. A dumpy, pudgy looking guy in an American flag color shirt and cowboy hat came out.
"Thank you, thank you," pudgy says into the microphone. "And now for the band of the night. Please give a warm salutation to Shooter Jennings!"
Sam shoots up, "Oh my god! I love Shooter Jennings!"
"How's it going Seattle?" Shooter asks followed by an ovation by the audience.
"I love you!" Sam screams out. Only if she would scream that out to me.
"Aright…now I have the perfect song to fit with today. Happy 4th of July!"
Sam lets out another screech and begins dancing around wit her lengthy arms in the air.
Alone with the morning burning red, in the canvas in my head, painting a picture of you."
"Come on Carly, dance with me." Sam calls me over.
"No, I'm not much of a dancer."
"Liar! You do it all the time on Random Dancing."
"That's different." I utter.
"No it's not. Come here." Sam pulls me up and sways my arms from side to side and twirls me around.
I join in the smiles and laughter as everyone else who was having the time of their lives. What else could you ask for? Excellent music, great weather, and I'm dancing with a gorgeous girl.
"You were pretty as can be, sitting in the front seat; looking at me, telling me you love me, and you're happy to be with me on the Fourth of July!" Sam sings along.
It hits me then. The song! That's the song! All day, Sam was humming the song she was singing now. I do have to say, knowing the words to it now; I can start getting use to this song.
"You having fun?" Sam asks me while twirling me around again.
"Yea. Lots."
Sam let's out a huge smile. "Good. Want to know what will make today better?"
"What?"
"This." She pulls me close and our lips touch.
It was better then I ever dreamed of. Soft, affectionate kisses. Our lips separating a little to let our tongues intermingle with each other. I become lost in everything, letting myself be hers and only hers.
The crowd erupts as the crackle and pop of the fireworks light up the twilight sky. We stop and rest our heads on each other's forehead. The colors of the fireworks reflect off her eyes.
"Carly," she finally says.
"Yea."
"Happy 4th of July, cupcake."