This is a shot off of Cakey Potter's The Life of a MuggleBorn Who Fell for a Pureblood:
Ch. 15: Wasps and Mints and Slaps, Oh My!
We noticed how well "No Way" by StarKidPotter fits with the scene where Draco is mean to Hermione and then finds her alone, him wanting to explain why he was mean.
Here's the Parody!
P.S Unbolded song lyrics are words that were changed. c:
After Terry made fun of me, I exited the dorm to get fresh air and think.
I left the castle and sat down in the grass by the Great Lake. I realized someone else was sitting farther down the shore. The person was hunched over, crying. They hadn't seen me yet.
The only person I knew who would be sad right then was...
My mind is racing, but my heart, it beats faster.
I'm in control, commander and master.
Should I go talk to her or return to the castle as quietly as possible? I asked myself.
Lady Fate, creating disaster-
My feet start walking toward her without my OK.
I reached her, sat down next to her, and tried to give her a hug but she rejected it and raised her hand to slap me.
But she ain't the boss of me!
I stopped Hermione from slapping me and held her wrist in mine, correctly assuming she'd try her other hand.
A head-on collision with a catastrophic setback
She tried the second hand, I grabbed that one too. She glared.
Makes you either wanna get lost, or get back.
No! I want to talk to her, not run.
I choose the latter; let's not forget that
I hold the cards this time,
I had her pinned, and she struggled. "Get off me, Malfoy!"
So there's no need to bitch or whine!
She threatened me, "I could... shall we say... stop you from making babies. Get off of me. Now."
There's no way
I'm gonna take another option,
No way I am gonna settle with a loss!
No way I am gonna let her knee me there! I cringed at the thought.
No way I'm gonna sit around and watch,
There's no, no way...
I make my last plea for her to listen and she, thankfully, accepted.
There's no way
You're gonna find me in the background,
I refused to stop being her friend, but... I guess we'll have to be in the background; back of the Library, empty halls, those types of places...
No damn way you're gonna see me satisfied!
No way they're ever gonna make me back down,
I am NOT losing her, not because of stupid racial ancestors, or my relatives and friends.
No, no way...
There's no way!
"Hermione, you're a great person and I want to stay your friend." I explained.
Home field advantage,
The upper hand is mine,
So the game is on!
We'll hide out
And be secret friends,
No need to hate each other!
Let's wake up and go, guys,
Fake out the pure guys,
Break out the fake fights-
"I'll look at you like you're scum and you act like I'm a jerk, in public." I explained.
-YEAH!
Hermione nodded her head in understanding.
We'll take it on together,
"Promise me that if I ever say something to hurt your feelings, that you'll know that it's to protect you and me from ridicule that would occur otherwise," I requested.
"You'll know where to find me," Hermione replied.
"The Library." We replied together.
We're stronger and we're better
And if there's a problem-
"Ha!"
-Whatever!
There's no way
We're gonna leave it up to chance,
There's no damn way we're gonna go without a fight!
Literally.
No way you gonna see us on on our butts.
(Sitting and talking together in public, that is.)
There's no, no way...
"We'll not tell anyone, agreed?" I asked Hermione.
There's no way
We're gonna settle with sorrow,
"We'll remind each other of the phoniness of what we say in public afterward, right?" Hermione asked.
I nodded.
Leave right now if you think this ain't real! (A/N: HAHAHAHAHA! -Cammy)
Today, not waitin' for tomorrow!
No, no way there's no way-
-that we'll ignore each other until the next day.
No, no way there's no way,
No, no way there's no way,
She slapped me, hard, then sweetly said goodnight and left to return inside, I watched her go.
There's.
No.
Way!
Hermione turned at the entrance and smiled before she disappeared through the doors. I returned to the castle shortly after.
A/N: Yay! Read/Review :D -Cammy
Thanks, Cammy, for writing a side-story/song to mine :D ~Cakey Potter