Author's Note: Ha! Who knew how easy it was to post Ruby's diary entries? She would be happy to see how funny her days are to everyone! Besides, she left in my room for a good reason, didn't she? Maybe I shouldn't do this... so why I am clicking on the 'Submit button'? Oh well, you can also find this on my deviantArt profile but I'm gonna update here from now on. WHY?!
Well, I kinda wanna make it easier so I can post pictures of my adventures… and that's it, really.
30th December 2013
Dear Diary,
I still remember the day I found you, just when I flopped on my beautiful bed after a long, tiring day. My jelly legs brushed against something hard just then, drawing my attention, and I twirled my limp body around so that I could rest on my aching stomach. I carefully reached under the bed frame, and I found myself holding a medium-sized box. You, a beautiful turquoise-colored book with a smiling white heart on the cover, cross bones flanking all four sides of the shape, were inside that box. My name was spelled out in neatly written gold letters. Mum said that I would write stories on any piece of paper I could reach, including my report cards, a loan application and even a dollar note—once. I guess Dad finally had enough and decided to get me this diary to jot down my personal thoughts. Thanks Daddy! A brief flip through the pages showed that they were blank. So, I pasted a rather hilarious picture on the first page, something that I'm able to laugh at, albeit with a slight blush. It's a photo of me sprawled on the floor amongst several pairs of legs. I was looking straight at the camera, my lips drawn back by half-formed words and an expression of pure surprise and incredulity was plastered on my face. They say that a picture conveys a thousand words and I couldn't agree more… this photograph tells the story of my mortifying yet magnificent tenth birthday.
Birthday celebrations with my friends usually took the form of a surprise party, with the normal chanting of birthday songs at the top of our voices and birthday gifts. Though, I wouldn't really call it a surprise party since I usually catch my friends red-handed because Iris has streamers attached to her spring shoes, making her fall and stumble. Or a balloon has burst into pieces because Misery had sneezed into it by accident. Sometimes, Doom marks the day on my personal calendar by mistake, reminding me. Frank and Len occasionally forget to keep it a secret, by singing their songs for me right in front of my bed, still in their pajamas. Scaredy usually is struck to the bone with fear, and trembles violently like a leaf on that day, for fear that the party may turn into a disaster. And he's usually holding a maraca. Poe tries to hide his presents in the kitchen cupboards, even though he knows that my oven mittens are there and I LOVE baking. Mr Buns already models his latest birthday hat and the dust bunnies do their marching drills extra early so that they do not disturb the party. Only Skull Boy can keep it a secret so he's usually in charge of the party and tries to hide the others' slip-ups. Emphasize on the word 'tries'. I even joked about it to him when I found out my 9th surprise birthday party through seeing the silhouettes of Squig and Iris, the latter performing her super cool triple, double, quadruple, flip skydive stunt, while waving a huge banner with huge, bright, neon words that screamed "You're nine years old, Ruby!".
That was probably my 2nd biggest mistake. My biggest mistake was saying, "Unless your ancestors could gather spies, I'll always know what's gonna happen on my birthday, Skulls." Then my tenth birthday arrived but much to my surprise, Skull Boy had invited me to join him for dinner at a cafe. That was what got alarm bells ringing in my head. Had he actually forgotten?! I just couldn't believe it, Diary, he was always so caring towards others most of the time… even when he was caught up in his revolving personas. Glum yums, I bet that if he were related to a long line of thieves, he would probably steal a million dollars as a birthday gift for a friend.
Then I looked into his eyes. They were two perfect jade stones with several other shades of green shimmering brightly and a few golden knives had stabbed into the otherwise lime orbs. Somehow, they reminded me that he would always be there for me, that he cared. Though I had to swallow several times before I could speak again, I somehow managed to regain my tenuous hold on my composure and, somehow, found the fortitude to face him again with a mega-watt smile.
That was when I saw Misery, walking under a scaffolding, and a bucket of paint fell on her head, covering from head to toe in pink paint. Misery stopped, and before I could help her with my towel, she shrugged it off, and shuffled to the hot-air balloon. She didn't even care that her favorite metallic grey swing tunic was ruined, so I asked Skulls why was she in such a hurry and he told me that Misery was going to meet up with one of her relatives at a restaurant in Singapore.
Next, I found Iris rubbing the doorknob four times before leaving the house. I knew she only did that for luck. I had no idea why she was dragging a sleeping Frank and Len along with her and hoisting them up on Squig. I couldn't help but wonder where they were heading off to. Skull Boy must have read my mind then and answered its question. Apparently, she, Frank and Len were going to Monstropolis to watch a concert live from Tibet. I hoped that they would have a great time. Those rockers practically live and breathe music! Iris should love Monstropolis, I heard that it was a great place to ride the waves and she had been dying to try surfing.
Scaredy Bat soon emerged, with his usual, tall stack of suitcases, Poe perched on the top. Skulls explained that Poe was going to the International Poetry Recitation and needed someone to accompany him on the most terrifying mode of transportation, so Scaredy happily volunteered, mainly because he heard that Boo-Boo was going to haunt him. I kinda think that poor Poe's phobia of trains is the only one really haunting but I know that Boo-Boo is gonna be a bona fide ghost one day, once he gets rid of those chubby cheeks and cute eyes.
The housemate who had the most bizarre reason for leaving was my own very best friend in the animal kingdom, Doom Kitty. She was actually munching on some... GORGONLIMBURGERAZOLA! I was more than ready to gag when I saw Gloomsville's smelliest cheese. The stink fumes even blurred my vision for a while but I could clearly see Skull Boy's skull scrunching up into a frown. This time, Skulls couldn't tell me what was happening, since Doom can only pantomime. She pretended to be eating a lot, and started waving a banner that red, 'GO CHEESE'. Strangely, Doom was going to meet up with our old friend Albert, the fussy mice, at a Cheese convention. She promised that she would send our greetings to him.
I realized that it was only Skull Boy and me going to dinner. Alone. You would think that I was probably ecstatic over that. In a way, yes. Yet, I couldn't ignore that sinking feeling... especially when we went down a rabbit hole. The scent of fresh sugarplum biscuits told me that we were heading to the Mad Hatter's Tea Shoppe, and I suddenly got very hungry. Teapots on every table whistled in unison, almost drowning out the upside down clocks ticking away above countless doors. We had chosen a door that resembled a coffin and entered a room. The floor was covered with tattered, moth-eaten rugs and the ceiling hosted dusty, grimy class chandeliers. The paint on the walls appeared to be peeling away, revealing old-fashioned plaster and lath behind it. There was even the subtle scent of dust, mildew, and decay.
Best. Place. Ever!
We took our time and tried to avoid the flower waiters in their black tuxedoes prancing around with menus, dishes and drinks in their vines and petals. From that point onwards, dinner proceeded smoothly. The ambience had set me at ease and the conversation between me and Skull Boy flowed easily… even though I was dying to know if he actually remembered my birthday. Sometimes, I tapped against the table and performed the birthday song but he was oblivious to it. Eventually, I gave up because I started getting blisters… and I didn't really want to find out if... my theory was true. I just couldn't. Not now. I guessed that I would be lucky if I get a seventy-fie cent card with postage due from him. And then I told myself, that he had already organized so many parties just for everyone. And he had always been there for me, no matter what. Maybe he was just having a bad day. Sometimes, I forget things because my schedule is packed.
Soon, I was so engrossed in one of the anecdotes that he was recounting, that I failed to pay attention to the pointed looks exchanged between the mad hatter himself and the Cheshire Cat, who was grinning like... a Cheshire Cat. Then a polite cough stopped our chat and Skull Boy fell into a fit of chuckles. I spun around in the direction of the pointed interruption and gaped at the row of waiters lined up behind me. In addition to their aprons and yellow uniforms, they were all wearing headgears in varying degrees of silliness and my heart thumped at the sight of the whistles and pompoms in their hands.
Before I could say a word, the manager had stepped forward to announce to the customers, "Well, you can knock me down with a feather but you shouldn't tickle me with fur, I'm already bursting my ribs with the birthday girl in cool socks." Cheshire Cat did tell me that he was taking his pills daily. Cheers and whoops came from amused patrons, and Skulls even clapped like a maniac.
I was quickly deposited onto a chair set up in the middle of the room, and could only watch with burning cheeks, as the cafe employees proceeded to surround me like a group of proverbial red Indians. With a generous dose of shrill whistling and shaking pompoms, they performed their special, in-house version of a birthday song. The words escaped me for I was too busy shooting pitiful looks towards Skull Boy whose funny bone was probably guffawing at that moment. In the midst of the song, I was even made to don a hot pink ballerina's tutu to the hollers of an increasing enthusiastic crowd. My embarrassment was complete, or so I thought.
I was quickly corrected when, hasty to dismount from my perch at the end of the interminable song, I made a wrong step to my right. I could only watch as the ground came up to meet me, Skull Boy's look of horror, a man holding a camera and the faces of the waiters flashed past in slow motion. SMACK! I hoisted myself up to a camera flash and the sight of the people rolling on the floor in derisive laughter. Yes, NOW my embarrassment was complete.
You would think that this was the worst day ever. Nope… in fact, I may even consider going to that place daily. Maybe it's because I really loved the truffle fries, the vanilla milkshake was sweet, learnt that Skull Boy went through a lot of trouble just for me or because I gave him a kiss on the cheek and loved his reaction. 'Wait, wasn't he the cause of your bad day?' You may ask, diary peeper. Fine, I'll allow you to read until I sign off for my first entry. Then, be prepared for a whole swarm of bees. Basically, he helped me get up and started profusely apologizing for giving me the worst surprise party ever. Apparently, the sweetest skeleton in the world, had used up an entire year's savings to pay for the 'ritual' because ten cups of Earl Grey tea was equivalent to a hundred dollars. In Wonderland, at least. He had come to believe that I wasn't happy with the way he planned my birthday, especially after hearing my 'jokes'. So, after a month of scheming, he called up a band of several secret agents, whom he had helped countless of times. according to him. Soon, those spies introduced themselves and, they were actually the most infamous monsters in history! I was tingling with excitement when I met Frankenstein, Dracula, Nessie, and The Mummy. They owed him a favor because Skulls had retrieved Frankenstein's brain for the cute creature, given Dracula turtles' blood instead of human blood so he wouldn't be chased out of a village AGAIN, cleaned up the Loch Ness Monster's home after it was polluted by litter-bugs, and wrapped Mummy up when her bandages came loose.
I can't really remember what happened after that, but I do recall a plethora of emotions washing over me in tides. I even made a recipe out of them; 2 teaspoons of embarrassment, a pinch of confusion but the most important ingredient, 3 cups of Happiness. Mix well, and you get tears of joy. A lone tear slipped from my eyes but Skulls put two and two together and got five. "Don't cry Ruby. Really, Ruby, it'll be okay."
Déjà vu.
So I just wrapped my arms around him, giggling, because I realized that he did care, how stupid I was, and what a great boyfriend... I mean, boy who is a friend, he is. And I guessed that I was really excited because I... gave him a slight peck on the cheek. And I knew that I had done something drastic when he suddenly fingered that area and his eyes glazed over. I was also a victim of my own action. My stomach did a slight lurch. Actually, it was more like a little flip-flop plus other amazing acrobatic acts caused by the sudden swarm of butterflies. In my daze, I somehow manage to get a glimpse of Dracula using a sharp claw to poke Skulls and poor Skull Boy collapsed, bones scattered everywhere. I guess that snapped me out of my reverie and we went home, after thanking the Mad Hatter and Cheshire Cat. They must have put in a lot of effort in organizing the event. I hope they like my little surprise attached to their cheque. I heard that they were hunting high and low for Green Tea with Jasmine but Misery had overstocked her supply and wiped out the supermarket's shelves.
After waving good-bye to Frankenstein, who had helped me carry Skull Boy, he gained consciousness. "Ow, what happened?" He mumbled. I guess that's when the memories flooded his skull because he suddenly became red as a tomato but I grabbed him just before he was going to run into his room and explained everything. How I had come to believe that he had forgotten, realized that he did, and always loved everything he did for me just because I knew he cared for me. And I meant every word of my rather long talk. Including the fact that he could surprise me.
By the time I was done, Skulls was beaming with pride and opened his mouth to speak... until the others came. Misery had just saved her godmother, affectionately dubbed Auntie Morbid, from an attack of ravaging dust bunnies, Iris, Frank and Len were now banned from seeing another concert ever again, Scaredy and Poe were now both terrified of forget-me-nots and Doom had an entire load of Mozzarella cheese. So, to relax, we made pizza out of Doom's huge stock. Then, I suggested a cookout! Frank and Len prepared their Franktastic Burgers and LenFries, which aren't bad if you put enough ketchup, mustard and onions on them to disguise the taste. Their Frank and Beans were quite scrumptious, with that taste of Metal Classics from the 70s. We also had a softball game in the open field behind our house. We played until it was almost dark, and the stars were just coming out. Soon, it was time for me to open gifts. They were fantastic! I even got the elusive Metal Classic Hits of the 80s album from Iris! That girl knows me well! Then again, I had been rummaging through her cereal box if she had gotten it as a prize. We really had an exhausting yet fun day even though we were in other parts of the world. I've learnt three things on that day;
1) Your friends will always be there with you, supporting you like your skeletal system does. No bones about it.
2) Learn to laugh at yourself.
3) You can kiss your best friends on the cheek, like Skull Boy and I do. But we are only just very, very, good friends...! (He has taken to kissing my cheek often in moments of joy or gratitude. I just hope he doesn't do that to the others... it's just kinda awkward... nothing else... kinda...)