Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm a uni student- I can't afford it!
A minor squabble one day leads to an interesting question- Just who is the oldest of the Cullen boys?
I'm the eldest!
The long school day was finally over. The five Cullen "kids" sped home, not wanting to waste a moment of the eighteen hours they had before another school day started.
The car pulled into the garage of their current home less than ten minutes after the final bell of the day had rung. Edward grinned. He had beaten Emmett's speed yesterday by a full 34 seconds.
Everyone bailed out of the car, impatient to start their afternoon's activities and calling greetings to Esme as they went. Esme laughed, happy to see her children all in such good moods, and returned her attention to her beloved garden.
Alice and Rosalie darted upstairs to work on a new dress design in Alice's room.
Emmett, Jasper and Edward stop in the lounge. Over the course of the school day they had come up with a number of things they wanted to do when they got home. But where should they start?
"Hunting, an x-box tournament and a wrestling match" Edward repeated their list.
"So which do you guys want to do first?"
"Wrestling!" Emmett yelled.
"Hunt" Jasper said at the same time.
Edward grinned lopsidedly. "I was actually thinking x-box myself."
They all laughed.
"Well little brothers" Emmett boomed, "I guess it's up to me to choose our first activity. As the eldest brother it's my job."
"You're not the eldest!" Jasper and Edward yell simultaneously. "I am!"
They both stop speaking and look at each other, confused slightly. Emmett's laughter causes the room to shake.
"I guess we better work out who's the eldest and then he can tie-break." Jasper suggests.
"That's fine with me" Edward agrees. Emmett nods his head.
They look to Jasper to speak first. It was his idea after all.
"I was born first" Jasper shrugs. "Obviously that makes me the eldest."
"Yes" Edward agrees, "but I was a Cullen before you both. I'm Carlisle's first 'son'."
"But I'm physically the oldest" Emmett interjects "So I have to be the eldest Cullen male."
The three stare at each other for a microsecond in silence before the yelling begins.
Meanwhile Carlisle is peacefully driving home from a rather rough shift at the hospital. He is looking forward to spending an hour or two unwinding in his study and then a quiet evening with Esme.
Turning onto the long driveway his smile vanishes and Carlisle groans internally. The boys are fighting again and he's really in no mood to deal with them.
After parking his car in the cavernous garage, he walks as quietly as he can through the house hoping that he can sneak past the quarreling vampires in the living room and up to his study.
His foot is on the bottom stair when three voices call out his name.
Carlisle turns and smiles at his adopted sons.
"Yes boys, can I help you?"
Edward speaks for the three of them "Well, we were just trying to clear something up. We were wondering could you tell us which of us is the eldest Cullen male?
"That's easy" Carlisle replies, "I am." and before anymore can be said he runs up the stairs at full vampire speed, shutting his study door behind him.
Emmett, Jasper and Edward look at each other, their faces equally stunned.
"Huh" Emmett grunts. "I never thought of that."
His brothers shake their heads in silent agreement.
AN: So yeah a dumb little one-shot I came up with. I wanted to write it up better, but this is all that came out. Review and help me improve please! And for those reading it, the next chapter of my story Virtual Omniscience should be done within the next week.
_Hannai