"The Kira Outbreaks"
Summary: Even Kira's secretive side has its limitations.
Kira Outbreak 1: Kiss
No, there was no possible way he'd get used to this.
As Kira Yamato blankly glanced from right to left, observing the guests in fancy clothing and jewellery, the need to blend into the shadows swept over him! The glass of wine on his left hand was, and how he wished it could be enough, the only relevant thing that could call him a guest to this lavish party. Seeing his own reflection in the mirror strangely situated not too far from where he is, Kira realized how the simple vintage outfit he wore kind of suited his stature. Not that he was displeased with himself, no, only the fact that he could never be as brave and bold as those bachelors surrounding the party's guest of honour.
That guest of honour would be no other than Lacus Clyne, of course. Nonetheless, who ought not to like her? The way she presented herself right now in the crowd was remarkable! Does Lacus even realize how seductive she looked? Kira's eyebrows twitched at the idea. His violet eyes followed every trace of Lacus' movement; she looked graceful to every extent possible. Her pale skin went more noticeable underneath that silk black cocktail dress; her hair was fashioned in a way that her neck was exposed, inviting, alluring. Almost certainly, the women in the party would envy her heels but to the men, it would lead their eyes to her creamy legs that were shaped to perfection.
Kira was quite unsure why his face got warm.
One by one, the guests shook her hand, greeted her, and talked to her. It wasn't her fault however; that she was born with the diamond's sparkle. Would it be a sin if Kira declared to the whole world that...she was his? Well, not candidly his. They do live together. No, it was a secret not meant to be leaked until the right time comes—or so that was what Mr Waltfelt said. So much for living together, Kira hasn't even touched her the way a lover would... but he wanted to, wished to, dreaded to. He was, after all, a man. No, they don't share the same room. If they did, Kira would unexpectedly find himself doing...strange things. It was never like this back at the orphanage in ORB, so what changed? Well, there were no more kids to distract them, although Haro was still a threat and Kira couldn't understand why he would feel embarrassed to do something with Lacus in front of that pink robotic machine.
His stomach lurched, a shameless idea crept his mind. Who would've thought Kira was just like any other guy. When you have a beautiful girl for a girlfriend, you would surely desire for her.
'Desire...'
A hand reached out for Kira's shoulder, putting to rest his eccentric imagination.
It was Athrun. "Why are you so distant, Kira?" The brunette turned around, his face could be well compared to a thief who had just been caught guilty of whatever charges, a flush on his face. "At...Athrun, it's you."
Kira looked away, somehow trying to let his flush disappear before facing his best friend once more. Athrun gave his friend a little wink before laughing, "You're certainly not good with parties like this." Then again, a fact Kira hated to hear but needed to approve. If Athrun was trying to brag, he was indeed succeeding.
"You better watch out," Athrun began. "I remember those guys—" his finger pointed to the men surrounding Lacus "—to be former suitors of hers. Well, until I came into the picture."
Athrun was really bragging. Would it sound awful if people knew your girlfriend was your best friend's ex, not to mention fiancé? Kira remembered hearing it differently back then. The worst case scenario is when that best friend still loves his ex. It wasn't even worth contemplating on, anyway. Athrun gave Kira a friendly pat on the back, "I'm pretty sure Lacus is wishing it'd be you out there... with her..."
It was replied with a Kira-like smile—a smile that meant two things: uncertainty and assurance. Athrun didn't quite get which one he saw, maybe it was neither. If it were true that Lacus was wishing it'd be Kira out there with her...then... well... then what? As if Kira had the guts to actually...
The crowd suddenly clapped their hands and cheered. A surprised Kira, who was clearly not listening to the announcement just now, glanced to Athrun for answers. "What was that about?" the brunette suddenly heard the crowd's whispers. Lacus' name seemed to dance along with their statements.
"Oh my, you are too kind!" came that voice Kira was so familiar with, too familiar with. Everyone's attention was turned towards the beautiful girl in the centre of the dance floor. She looked like she was dancing, her figure tempting, her eyes tantalizing. Anyone would fall for her. Kira could count himself as one of those 'anyone.' And yet there were doubts deep inside of him: did he deserve her?
Kira's gut twitched, it hurt. What if... he did not deserve her?
Beside Lacus was a grand piano. The crowd had requested her to sing for them, something she hadn't done in a few years because of the war. It put Kira back into deep thought. If Lacus hadn't stayed with him back at the orphanage in ORB two years prior, she would still have stayed in the limelight with a microphone in either hand, with the crowds cheering her name, with the fancy costumes and make-up...
...Kira couldn't help but think he took all those away from her—just because she chose to be with him and...
"What a beautiful woman she's grown up to be!" a gentleman who sat behind Kira mumbled. There was no ordinary reaction to that, of course Lacus is beautiful!
Do they even know that Kira and her live together?
'I guess not.'
Do they even know he had seen her half-naked in bed? Well, not actually half-naked. When you wear a nightgown, you would look half-naked right...?
'Nightgown...'
What does that have to do with it? Nothing, Kira just wanted to brag. If they were to know, a lot of complications would arise. Mr Waltfelt was smart enough to let them escape that situation. Ever since they moved to the PLANT's, the Clyne Faction base was situated in Aprilius, Mr Waltfelt had decided for them to hide their relationship.
Lacus is now the universe's mediator. Kira, on the other hand, is a ZAFT soldier, a ZAFT soldier specially assigned to the Clyne Faction. Mr Waltfelt also planned that out for them. It was a good thing...
"She's going to sing now..." Athrun interrupted.
There was a short pause, Lacus' eyes roamed around the people watching her, possibly looking for a certain someone she really wanted to be here...
'Kira...'
A smile graced her lips.
His eyes softened at her gaze.
Lacus began to play the piano... then she sang...
Kira's thought diverged even deeper, doubting his very existence right here with her. Was it possible she could have thoughts like this too? Was she questioning whether he deserved her? Was she...?
'Stop it...'
Athrun leaned over to Kira, "Did you ever know she could play the piano?" The smirk on Athrun's face was teasing Kira, of course Athrun knew better! He need not imply that. However, Kira knew she could play the piano... well... just now when they moved into the PLANT's. Well, at least Athrun never got the chance to see Lacus in her nightgown.
'What am I thinking...?'
The song she sang was new...
But he heard it several times already, whenever she would have sleepless nights. She would sing herself to sleep in their grand piano at home. And, well, Kira would have the pleasure in carrying her back to her room.
Sometimes he asked himself why he failed to suggest they share a room. He regretted that.
The crowd continued to be awed...
Kira knew that melody was of sadness... no one else does, anyway.
Do they even know Lacus can cry?
'Probably not.'
His eyes swallowed her like a blood-thirsty killer. There was a longing inside of him... does she even know that? How could she? Kira was too shy to display his affections.
...
The song ended, the crowd cheered and clapped. Those bachelors lined up to give Lacus their 'gifts' of appreciation. Kira didn't want to see that.
"Hey, where are you going?" Athrun managed to grab hold of Kira's seemingly lifeless hand. "I'm just going to get a little bit of fresh air," he replied. Kira's view of himself a while ago, as someone who didn't deserve her, immersed his heart...almost drowning it...killing it. These thoughts weren't new...it just hurt.
Is it possible that...she could leave him?
'Leave me...?'
------------------
There was no way Lacus could miss him out of the crowd. Wherever Kira went, even if he tried to blend in to the shadows, there is something about him that's special in her eyes. Her head turned towards Kira's direction right after she sang, seeing if he listened—if he liked it. Then again, who wouldn't? Her voice was beautiful. Does he even think about her that way? Everything was loud in her hears, the crowd was cheering for her, especially the young men in the party...
...but her eyes looked for him.
Something in her failed to respond at the sight of Kira's retreating figure. Athrun was trying to stop him, but Kira persisted to go. Maybe... she did something wrong. In the first place, Kira intended not to come to the party; Lacus was the one who persuaded him.
'Kira...'
She should go to him.
"Miss Lacus, what incredible singing!"
"Beautiful!"
"Nothing ever changes about you..."
The interference of the young men stopped Lacus at her feet, Kira's figure disappearing slowly, surely. They walked in her line of sight, those women, those gentlemen, her father's friends, and her admirers... nothing seemed right.
Does Kira know she would prefer to be with him?
The voices consumed her; there was no other choice but to entertain them. Lacus had been waiting, wanting; she wouldn't mind if Kira was this slow or secretive or... indifferent. Only one thing mattered to her, it was just to be with him. If ever she would sleep outside of her room, he would carry Lacus' sleeping figure and bring her there, sometimes he would end up sleeping beside her bed...clasping her soft, delicate hands. In the morning he would greet her, they would go home together from work; he would kiss her on the forehead a goodnight. That made her so happy.
That was enough for her.
It always was.
Does he even know that?
The provoking thoughts made her converse with her audiences quickly; she needed to talk to him, to see him.
'Perhaps he is outside the garden...'
"You in a hurry?" someone caught her wrist, Lacus felt like cursing. Gracefully she turned around; eyes glimmering with beauty, intoxicating the person who just stopped her from going to the destination she was headed for. Interruptions will be finished now.
"Hey, you were great out there..." the man eyed her, a grin escaping his lips. Chris Gabe would never let this opportunity escape, to see her again, to finally talk to her again. Chris was a member of the council, although he worked together with Lacus, attended her meetings, was present in all her sessions, she never gave him some attention. She never even talked to him!
"Thank you, Chris." Her politeness made him smirk; the glint in his green eyes could captivate a lot of women...except Lacus. She was already obsessed with someone else's eyes.
'Kira...'
"Where are you going?"
"I'm looking for someone..." she hurriedly answered. The thoughts she had minutes ago bothered her too much. The last thing she wanted to do was to loose Kira...
'Loose him...?'
"Oh, really? Everyone is at your attention! Who could this indifferent person be?" Chris laughed.
'Someone I happen to love...'
He waited for her answer. "I apologize Chris, but I have something to do. Most certainly we can talk some other time. At work, maybe."
Then she left him with no second thoughts whatsoever.
----------------
The night air drained his energy; certainly things weren't going too well inside of him. Kira had bad dreams in the past—dreams about people who died, about people he lost—but the thoughts invading his soul right now, crushing his heart to an extent he never imagined... they were even greater than those nightmares he had!!
How did this happen? Maybe he shouldn't have gone to the party; Lacus would not look so...distant. How could a single party make him feel this way?! It's not like there would be a party everyday! Yes, he should still remember that they live together; that they are lovers and that she belonged to him...and to no one else.
...
When did he start to be so domineering? If there was one thing he too shouldn't forget, it's Lacus being the universe's only bridge to peace... that the world needed her perhaps far more greater than he does. What do you do when you're girlfriend is that influential?
'Too influential...'
Everyone needed her. That was when he realized...
'I shouldn't be selfish. She never was either.'
Did he ever tell Lacus he loved her...?
"Kira...?"
The voice startled him, possibly even more that he jerked out of the bench he was sitting and turned around to the voice that made him smile inside... how childish, he thought. Seeing Lacus this up close was—he shouldn't say strange– unbelievable. Today, she had been busy, really busy. Certainly, it was the way she looked at him right now that his eccentric imaginations moments ago resurfaced and made him flush.
He wanted to hide it from her...but she knew too much. How he wished he could also read her mind.
"La...Lacus!" his surprised reply was mutual. In some way, he expected her to smile.
She smiled.
Kira's insides melted, he wanted to touch her.
"Kira, may I ask why you are out here alone?"
The brunette found it hard to answer. Out of the blue, he tried to figure things out... but he couldn't. The doubtful thoughts he had earlier vanished into thin air...replaced by the figure standing right in front of him, her eyes looking owlishly... waiting, expecting, wanting.
"Ahh...you see...well...I was..."
He stammered when he saw the look on her face that demanded an answer. She had this effect on him...only she, no one else. "Did you hear me sing?" the question was brought to relieve him from the awkwardness of the situation. "I was hoping you did."
The wind blew instantly, making her embrace herself. It was cold even here in the PLANT's, where did they get this kind of artificial breeze? Lacus' eyes shut, he remembered she hated being cold. It was similar to the feeling of being lonely. Kira remembered her telling him she always felt lonely...even though she wasn't alone.
He was the only one to know.
How he wished he could brag it.
"My, how late is it now that the wind is blowing up this cold?" she rubbed her arms, eyes opening up to look at him irresolutely. His gaze pierced through her in a way she couldn't understand. Then Lacus saw whirling emotions, he seemed afraid, hesitant.
'I want to brag about it, Lacus...'
Skilfully, he removed his coat, arms swaying above her, eyes focused at hers. The warm coat embraced her, warmed her. Both Lacus' hands went up her chest, his reposition pulled her closer... he didn't let go.
Kira could blame all eternity for this.
"Yeah, I did hear you sing." It was then she realized their closeness. His breath tickled her face, his forehead on hers, their lips a single shift away. She swallowed hard, her pulse quickened. Kira's breath was pulling her closer to him but in her own accord. Fighting the urge to lick her lips never felt so hard. She trembled, he steadied.
'I really, really want to brag about this, Lacus....'
Does she even know?
"It...It's a good thing you did!" She tried no to sound confused, hazed and indulged by the intimacy they are sharing right now. His coat smelled like him, no perfumes, and no colognes, just him. She lost count of the minutes they stood there, and wished for nothing of it to end.
'I will always wish for you, Kira....'
Does he even know that?
"Were you surprised? It was a new song, after all!" His lips parted, her breath was...intoxicating. To lighten things up, he backed away a little just enough for him to see her face being lit by the moon, his hands still holding on to his coat around her. "I... well... not so," he replied.
Disappointment was spelled all over her face. "Ahh, I mean...it was good! I just...well...I happen to hear it every night when you play the piano at home...!" his reply became abrupt, unintentional. Her face started to lighten, "Oh, then do I disturb your sleep?"
"No! I... I happen to have a lot of sleepless nights as well." He expected a smile to come out from her, but rather, her mouth circled, her eyes looked down. She was cute that way. How had he developed these kinds of feelings? It was seriously driving him crazy, does she even know that?
"Either way," he raised her face so that she was looking at him. "I loved the song, I loved your voice." Kira wanted to say more, to do more. Perhaps, minutes later, someone would barge in and destroy this moment... and the both of them would end up pretending they don't know each other. Worse, they would start to pretend they were only friends.
Kira changed emotionally, pretending they were only friends started to be hard for him.
Was it hard for her too?
He wanted to know.
"I thought I might find you here!"
The both of them jerked apart from the other, both eyes guilty, embarrassed. Their eyes shifted to the man they were glad to see rather than someone else. Next time, Kira would pick a place deserted for Lacus and him to talk, to be closer.
It was Athrun, "You better hurry in Lacus; the crowd was starting to wonder where you went. And I prefer you remove the coat."
Would the crowd really care if they saw a man's coat around her? There were second thoughts; she didn't want to upset Kira. Possibly, in Kira's eyes she has seen a longing; and she was afraid to find out want kind of longing it was. Lacus wasn't afraid of him, but of what he is capable of doing.
A pair of strong hands landed on her shoulders, "its okay, we'll talk later... at home." Slowly, Kira removed the coat so as not to surprise her of the sudden cold that might brush through her skin; his aura was gradually disappearing. This is why she disliked too much physical contact from him; she'd be left craving for more.
'The world needs her...everybody does.'
She blinked once, twice, fighting the urge to...cry. However, they would talk later when they get home, right? Yes, maybe tonight she would ask him to stay with her a little longer. Yes, she would do that—she definitely will!
Kira thought so too.
Will she ever know?
Will he ever know?
Will they ever tell?
"I'm coming, Athrun." Then she left... just like that.
-------------------
If it was to please the crowd, well, Lacus was very good at that. It required no such effort, except that she smile her best; no flaws, no mistakes. But to please Kira...? She wouldn't know what to do. Kira would only smile; he was happy, or at least that's what he shows to her. What truly makes him happy is something she knows nothing about. Is it possible he isn't...truly happy being with her?
The thought scared her.
...
Even if Kira claimed incapable of reading Lacus' thoughts, it was clear and evident in her eyes that she was in deep thought... she wasn't even listening to the questions being thrown at her by the crowd and the emcee of the party. Motionless, she was motionless on that stool; the whispers continued and so did the cheers.
"Ms Lacus?" the emcee called.
Quickly she smiled, her hands clasped the microphone. Yes, later, Kira and she will talk about it... Seconds later, Lacus was back into the conversation, giving away a joke or two, laughing, smiling... as if amused. Quickly, she thought, this must end quickly.
"There are rumours about Council Representative Chris Gabe being able to sing. You were friends back then weren't you, Miss Lacus?" the mention of Chris' name startled her, the mention of them being friends back then startled her even more! "I've heard from a reliable source he used to be your duet partner a long time ago. But only you had the courage to pursue the world of entertainment!"
True, Chris could sing; he had a very manly voice. Friends? Maybe. Close? Not quite.
"Chris is a wonderful singer! Well, that was roughly seven years ago..." she joked, the crowd laughed.
'Chris...? Chris Gabe....?' Kira thought.
The conversation continued, "Would you like to sing with Chris once more?"
The suggestion was given Kira's full attention.
The crowd cheered in enthusiasm! A certain man boldly arose from his seat to join Lacus and the emcee in the centre; a mike on his left hand. "Well, since the secret has been leaked, I suppose there is no need for me to hide this talent."
The women in the party giggled, Chris was certainly a ladies man. Kira was sure of that.
Lacus' heart thudded in her chest, not because of Chris but because Kira was...
"I'd love to sing along with you once more...Lacus..."
The melody of the song being played filled the entire hall; Chris' voice began to sing. Indeed, he was wonderful. Strange, the crowd seemed to feel the song themselves, closing their eyes and silently singing together with Chris...
Then Lacus sang...
Both their voices blended so well, it was impossible not to melt. She sang a higher tune, he a deep one, then later meeting up at the same key. Lacus was enjoying, she couldn't deny that. You don't find many male singers hanging around and showing off their talent. They sometimes prefer to...blend in. Nostalgia hit her, the memories of childhood returned. The song they sang was composed a long time ago by Lacus' mother.
Then Chris and she must be close... only a few people ever got close to Lacus' mother unless...
Kira enjoyed it as well but couldn't help but be jealous at the two's proximity. Chris looked like he wanted to go nearer, as if he was planning something more than just standing beside her.
...
It was over.
A thunderous clap engulfed the hall!
Well, Lacus wouldn't mind singing with him again...some other time, maybe.
"I know this is a chance given to me by fate," Chris began. "If I failed to express my feelings back then because I was a lame, helpless jerk, now I would like to confess."
...
Kira's gut twitched.
"It was a pleasure singing with you once again, Lacus. If you don't mind, I would like to display a sincere action of affection. That is, if the former fiancé doesn't mind too..." Chris glanced at Athrun who was looked at by all the guests in the party. Possible reactions mixed up in Athrun's head. How should he react?
"You don't, do you... Athrun?"
Well, Athrun wasn't worried about what his answer might be... he was worried about the man sitting next to him and his reaction towards Athrun's response.
Well...?
Chris turned to face Lacus...
"Do you mind?" he asked her.
Yes, but she didn't want to tell him that. Her indecision made the crowd giggle, as if they were watching a romantic movie. Lacus knew if she were to make a mistake in this...things would likely change. No, she didn't want that at all! The corner of her eye found Kira, and then she looked at him; her eyes throwing Chris' question at her lover. If it was just an embrace Chris wanted, Lacus would give it. But.... "As long as it's nothing closer to a kiss...—"
Something in Kira ripped itself apart, it was probably his heart.
Lacus felt Chris' lips soft and delicate... on the side of hers. To the crowd, it looked like he kissed her on the cheek, but to Kira, whose eyes were like an eagle, he couldn't be fooled.
It wasn't on the lips but...almost...
This time, the guests' cheers were deafening! Whispers began to roar, and soon it will turn out into rumours... rumours Kira wouldn't want to hear. Athrun released a sigh of defeat, looking at Kira he patted his shoulder, "Hey, at least he didn't really kiss her...on the lips, right?" Athrun tried to fake a smile... Kira was less than interested in what he has to say.
Whatever, the brunette thought.
For the first time in his entire life Kira felt like a burning magma, threatening to explode and kill everyone in the vicinity! Yet again, he felt numb, unable to move, unable to speak—it was colder than ever inside.
Lacus sat motionless too; her hand touched the side of her lips, afraid to taste it. It seems like tonight's moment with Kira won't...happen after all.
-------------------
It was driving him crazy.
After the party, Kira and Lacus went straight home, up to their respective rooms and slept. Well... Kira was wide awake. There was no way he could sleep after what happened. Was he jealous? He was furious! But why didn't he talk to Lacus? He promised he would, she promised too. Maybe it was just him; maybe he should go to see her. It was plain and evident that Lacus didn't like what happened, Kira saw that...but why was he...annoyed?
The feeling was new, and it would be hard. He wasn't immune to it yet—yet. It overwhelmed almost everything of him, sweeping away sanity, and brushing aside patience. It wasn't right for him to be angry. It wasn't right for her to have allowed Chris to do it either!
What was he thinking?
Kira had only kissed Lacus on the cheek in the long term of their relationship. Chris, however...
'SHIT.'
Chris, however, managed to almost really kiss her... the way a kiss should be.
Should he ignore how much his heart was trembling right now? The doubtful thoughts made his knees shaky, his breathing unsteady, and his eyes teary. He swallowed hard, eyes blankly looking at the ground, emotionless. A picture of her popped into his mind, she looked beautiful.
Kira wanted to touch her.
So this is what it feels like to desire someone?
...
A familiar sound destroyed his thoughts, Kira's eyes now focused on the door.
It was their piano.
...
Lacus hit the first few notes of her new song, slowly as it progressed. The melody was painful and she too didn't understand why she made something like that. Her eyes observed how her fingers shifted keys; they looked graceful, almost entirely professional.
Although Lacus' mother played the violin, she still encouraged her daughter to play the piano. Then at home, the both of them would do duets together. Chris would then play the piccolo and...
'Chris...?'
She pressed the wrong key leading to the chorus of the song...
The mention of Chris inside her mind was rather disturbing. It repeated once more, those images reflecting what happened at the party. If she had moved a little to Chris' direction...Lacus would have...
'No, I don't want that.'
Indeed she didn't. That was the last thing she would ever want. Although Kira would never talk about it or even ask, Lacus wanted Kira be the first to kiss her... the way a real kiss should be. The idea made her stomach flutter happily.
'But...I am not his first...'
She pressed the wrong key leading to the bridge of the song...
That girl's name echoed in her thoughts, it was more disturbing. Through these years, Lacus had never asked Kira about that other girl. She was primarily afraid of what he might answer. She was afraid to know if...he still hasn't moved on...
'Kira...'
God knows what they did besides kissing----
She pressed the wrong key again...
The emotional surge was too strong she decided not to think of it anymore. Strangely, she felt her heartstrings being cut slowly, surely; the pain was too much to bear, but her thoughts continued. Stop, she thought. It wouldn't be right, it wouldn't be fair to suspect...
'But what if...'
Quickly, she closed the lid of the piano hoping that the sound it made would awaken her from this emotional torture. The tears hung loose on her eyes, dreading to fall...surely it will fall. The last thing she wanted to happen was for Kira to see she was actually crying. She could not help but ask him to hold her...
'What relevance would there be? That girl is...gone.'
The depressing sigh that came out of her was followed by the tears. God she hated being this weak. If it was about Kira...she'd cry a river and it still wouldn't be enough!
Does he even know that?
"No, I...I wouldn't tell him. It would be unfair..." Hearing her own voice was strange, but to hear Kira's voice at this hour would be worse!
...
"Wouldn't tell me what...?"
His knuckles brushed against her cheek; it was warm, inviting.
"Kira...!" She jerked away from her seat, heart pounding in her chest. But she didn't stray off too far because Kira was able to grab hold of her wrist, he was careful not to grip too tightly. The contact had such a great effect on her that the previous sentiments have disappeared leaving only a desire to be held by the one she loved with all her heart. They've never been this closer, and it was a bit frightening on her part although it felt good. Lacus' eyes couldn't look away from the hand that held hers, something in her gut tells her it was going to rest elsewhere other than where it is right now.
"You...you can't sleep again."
It sounded more of a question rather than a statement. Either way, the answer was still a yes. She couldn't sleep because she wasn't tired, or maybe she couldn't sleep because she was...thinking about him. Lacus chose the latter. Even if the reason was identified, she could never find the courage to tell him. According to her, it would be...selfish.
"I...I guess I got used to...sleeping really late. Did I...uhm...disturb you?" she tried her best not to sound sad, distressed. Lacus really wanted them to talk, like what he promised they would. Perhaps the incident with Chris brought about this strange atmosphere they are in, or if it didn't, she probably did something wrong to upset the brunette.
Should Lacus ask...?
Kira, on the other hand, was suppressing his...anger? The pressure building up in his heart tried to control his hand that was holding hers, asking it to grip harder; his brows fought the urge to meet. He suspected Lacus' current frame of mind was because of that certain Chris, and the thought of Lacus actually thinking about Chris made him...envious. Not jealous but envious. That's why Kira was angry, that's why he wanted to...
"Were you thinking?" he asked. The reply was simple, but she was worried of his reaction after an answer would be given. So she kept silent, stressing only a breath to indicate the question was, for her, unanswerable as of the moment.
"Who were you thinking of?" he asked again. It seemed like he really wanted it to come out from her the thought he had suspected she was thinking of. He couldn't really decide which he would prefer to hear: Chris...or him. If it were Chris, God knows what Kira's emotional condition could lead him to do!
"I was thinking about Chris...and what happened at the party..."
...
Kira's breathing steadied, almost stopping for good. God, let him not hear that she liked what Chris did! Should he ask? He was dying to ask! His heart was pounding uncontrollably inside his chest it was impossible to breathe, to think, to... contradict.
The warm hand on hers suddenly felt cold, distant, disheartened...
She called his name after he fell silent. The man didn't seem to hear, his miserable thoughts were rumbling thunderously inside his head...
"Kira...?" Unable to contain her own feelings, Lacus took a few steps forward, her hand flying slowly to touch his face, to caress it, to comfort him. The soft fingers traced the solitude lines of his features, hoping to ease whatever pain he was in at the moment. They were soft and gentle and loving, it was hard to accept a reality as breathtaking as this: having her for a lover.
He stressed out a breath, telling her the touch was both painful and lovely at the same time. The grip on her hand loosened then tightened then loosened again as if unsure what could make her understand his heart, his sentiments.
How had he developed these feelings for her? These were unreasonable, irrational, and ridiculous and... beautiful.
She indeed isn't everything...
...she is the only thing.
"Lacus..." What else could be more horrifying than to realize you can't live without that someone so important to you?
His eyes shot hers; the feeling made her shiver it was frightening. Slowly, the hand that gripped hers ascended, the warm fingers were leaving traces of desire-filled heat on her arm then to her shoulder, it passed by her neck then it gripped her hair softly. Kira dug the fingers of his free hand on her waist, trying to feel the soft skin underneath the satin nightgown she wore, and then it moved behind her to lessen the expanse of their bodies.
The movement was too quick to counter that she failed to place both her arms to her chest, at least putting just enough of a boundary between his body and hers. The heat emanating from him was overpowering, tremendous, and the way he held her made no room for movement except to reciprocate. In a single breath they were chest to chest. The arm behind Lacus rose higher, chilling her spine in the process. Kira's chest was hard like steel, but it was so warm she fell speechless. He breathed on her; she closed her eyes terrified at how weak it made her in an instant. The proximity was frightening yet exciting.
He spoke, but his breath was too invigorating she couldn't understand the words he whispered. His arms pressed her closer, her pulse quickened, heart pounding like never before. She couldn't move and wished not to as his lips crashed mercilessly on hers.
The feeling was new and unbearable. Lacus moaned into the kiss, her thoughts about sanity went outside the window. She whispered his name making him bite her lower lip, creating an entrance to where his tongue could taste eternity. He tasted her, she was sweet. His hands explored her body, touching and feeling whatever it can, supporting her weight as her knees fell weak and vulnerable. They were moving but she couldn't determine where until they stopped and she found herself pinned against the wall. Her hands managed to rise, pushing Kira slightly away for her to breath, to think.
What was going on?
The sensation invading her body made her unable to judge and decide. It was scaring her that she wanted to cry, to escape, but it felt so good it made her ache for more. Never had she felt this way before. For a moment, Kira wasn't just a boyfriend... but a lover.
The possibilities made her shudder in his arms.
She shut her eyes then looked at the floor, Kira's face now buried in her hair. He let himself be suffocated by her scent only to be driven to a point where he wanted to touch her again... endlessly. His doubts and fears evaporated after seeing, or rather, feeling how much intensity Lacus' reciprocation gave out. Right then he knew he could control her, but not unless she's lead him to a trap-like disposition he was willing to give in to.
There was a deep silence however, he could still hear her breathing unsteadily; she swallowed hard then trembled in his embrace. Her fingers dug into his chest as if asking for more contact, for more of the new sensation.
They were definitely lovers now and not just a 'Kira and Lacus.'
"At the party, Kira I... I never approved... what...Chris did," her words were unsteady but she spoke of the truth. Perhaps she said it in fear that none of what is happening right now will ever happen again.
Lacus heard him gulp. His hand reached for the side of her face, caressed it.
"I forgot to give you my goodnight kiss... Lacus."
Maybe she could bury her own doubts for now.
-END-
It was a long chapter. Enjoy! And... I'm new here so take it easy.